The Life Events
by DarkBard0
Summary: Alex and Marissa learn what it takes to build a relationship.  FF  Don't read if offended.
1. The Chance Meeting

**Pairing **- Alex/Marissa  
**Rating** - 18/NC-17 in the later parts  
**Disclaimer** - I own nothing other than my own characters I made up.  
**Spoilers** - None so far, I'll point them out when they occur.

**Notes** - Completely an AU story. It is set in Los Angeles, most of it will remain there. The characters are 24/25, and it assumes that Marissa, Seth and Summer went to college together after high school. It also assumes that Julie and Jimmy split up as in the show, and that Julie married Caleb, but he didn't die. Also, it assumes that Theresa was the one taken in by the Cohen's, not Ryan. Won't say anymore to give it away too much, it's all easily picked up. Sorry if it sucks, you win some you lose some!

**The Life Events**

**Chapter One **

**Los Angeles**

**Friday**

**7:47am**

Even at this early hour, the sun had started to shine down on the city of Los Angeles. The sky was a pale, morning blue with a pale sun that was getting brighter and brighter as the moments passed by. There was a soft, fresh breeze, making the morning feel new and refreshing.

Twenty five year old Alex Kelly kept up a strong pace, as she ran her usual track in the park. This early, there were only a few other joggers, walkers or runners scattered about. A few people walking their dogs over on the dog path too. Some faces she saw a lot, considering she was a regular here. She would smile lightly at them as they would at her. Sometimes she wondered what those people were like. Where they came from, what they did, who they were. But usually, she didn't give it much thought while she was actually there.

Alex knew that many people used their running time to think. People came to get away from their lives for however long, and to think clearly about what was going on with them. Work, problems, kids, love, partners, money…she guessed it would be a pretty long list. She however, didn't. Alex came to get away, and that was it. She preferred not to think about her life as she went running. She didn't see the point of coming out here to do something she loved, to get away for an hour, only to think about everything she didn't want to think about. She just wanted to run. It was her chance to be alone and have some space. She didn't like to ruin that.

Unclipping her iPod, Alex held it up a little so she could see the screen. She began to fiddle with it, adjusting the volume and then skipping through tracks to find a song she really wanted to listen to. Her focus now on the device, Alex lost her concentration on where she was running. She never even saw the girl that was stood a little further down the track standing sideways to her, taking a drink out of her water bottle. Before she knew it, Alex ran straight into the other body, huffing as they both fell to the floor, hard.

As the shock of what just happened began to dissipate and her mind got a little clearer, Alex realised she was lying on top of someone. Then she realised she was lying on top of someone because she had knocked them over. Instantly feeling guilty, she blinked to make her eyes focus, then looked down into the most beautiful face she had ever seen. Again, her breath was taken away from her as she studied the other girls face, then looked into her shocked, deep blue eyes. Eyes that Alex would have no problem of falling into and never getting out again.

**Alex**

I erm…I am _so_ sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?

Admonishing herself for perving on the innocent girl she had just knocked down due to her not paying any attention to where she was going, Alex scrambled off of her victim and onto her feet. How could she be so stupid? Seeing the strikingly beautiful brunette sprawled out on the floor, cringing slightly, her water knocked out of her hand, made her feel guilty and pretty much an idiot. She didn't fail to notice a few other runners looking their way either, which made Alex feel even worse. Quickly, she leaned down and offered her hand toward the brunette, feeling she should help her any way she could. This was all her fault.

**Marissa **

I don't think so.

Marissa Cooper responded, her voice a little scratchy as she tried to catch her breath again. She winced, feeling her left wrist throb incessantly and her back ache from being scratched on the hard surface of the floor. Oddly, as the blonde girl got up and off of her, she briefly missed the weight and the warmth she had provided. It made it easier to breathe again, but for a moment, Marissa had been perfectly comfortable with her being there. Which was just weird.

Snapping out of the thought, Marissa realised that the blonde was offering her a hand, which she took gratefully. As she took her hand, Marissa felt the jolt of electricity that shot up her arm and throughout her body. The girl's skin was hot, and seemed to sear into her own. In that good way, the one that she hadn't felt for quite some time now. She stood up, and found herself staring into the most penetrating ice blue/grey eyes she had ever seen. They were so distinctive, and powerful. And currently looking guilty and freaked out. This was definitely worth being knocked down and winded for.

**Alex **

Are you sure? I mean, I _really_ barged into you there.

Alex fretted, dragging her eyes away from the brunette reluctantly. She had never been so instantly attracted to anyone, not like this. It confused her. The situation was odd enough, and this wasn't helping to make her less flustered and confused. All she knew was that she was beyond devastated that she had caused this, and she couldn't take her eyes away from the captivating stranger. After brushing herself off for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts, Alex looked back up and frantically assessed the woman in front of her, panicking that she had caused some irreparable damage.

Marissa coughed again, stretching a little and then dusting herself off with her right hand. She shifted her weight a little bit, getting her bearings back and feeling no other real pains. Quickly she assessed that she would live, and turned her attention back onto her ''assailant''. The girl brushed herself off, then looked up with a stricken look as she assessed the damage she had caused. The flat out panic in her eyes made Marissa smirk, finding it extremely cute.

**Marissa **

I banged my wrist a little, but it's fine.

She replied, lifting up her left arm to indicate her wrist. The gesture caused the girl to stare at it, bugging out her eyes in utter devastation.

**Alex **

Oh my god you're bleeding!

Marissa looked at her wrist properly, seeing that it was indeed bleeding. She hadn't actually noticed that. She hated blood, it made her feel queasy. Granted, her wrist wasn't bleeding a whole lot, but still enough to get a sick sort of feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something she didn't want to broadcast to the blonde. Marissa knew she felt bad enough about knocking her down, that was clear, but also she didn't want to look like a baby for hating blood. So she shrugged lightly and smiled.

**Marissa **

It's really okay. Nothing. I've handled worse.

Alex wasn't too convinced about that. Not so much because she didn't believe the gorgeous brunette in front of her, she probably had handled much worse. But the feeling of actually causing the injury, that mortified her. The girl should have been pissed at her, not trying to make her feel better. Alex felt like she was 2 feet tall, that's how small she felt right now. The humiliation running through her was more than she had ever felt, which made her upset.

**Alex **

Did I mention how sorry I am? God I'm an idiot.

**Marissa**

No you're not, accidents happen. Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself?

Marissa shook her head, flicking her good hand as Alex apologised again, clearly mentally scolding herself. Obviously it had been an accident, it's not like she had rammed into her on purpose. Marissa didn't see the point in being upset; there was nothing either of them could have done about it. They weren't really hurt anyway. She just watched as the blonde paused, frowning in confusion as though she didn't understand the question. Then, after a second or so, the penny dropped. She realised that she could have been hurt too. Marissa smirked a little, watching as she looked down at herself quickly, seeing for the first time if she was actually hurt or not. She had thought about her before herself.

**Alex **

What? Oh. Me. Right, no, I didn't. I fell on you, so…well you kinda broke my fall.

The confused, shocked and sheepish reply made Marissa laugh lightly.

**Marissa **

Glad I could help!

**Alex **

I'm sorry. I should really…_do _something. You wanna have your wrist looked at?

Alex offered, not knowing where to put herself. She felt like a complete fool in front of this goddess, all she wanted to do was make sure she was okay. She didn't want her to make light of her wrist to spare her feelings. But Alex saw her shake her head, giving her a sincere look.

**Marissa **

It's fine, honestly. Just a scratch.

**Alex**

I can't believe I just ran into you like that. I'm normally so much more co-ordinated.

**Marissa **

I believe you! Besides, being tackled to the ground by beautiful women breaks up my day!

Marissa smiled, hoping that the blonde would catch on to her flirtatious joke, and offer some kind of response that would help her know if she were wasting her time or not. She could have been as straight as an arrow for all Marissa knew, but she took a chance since she had her here. She was too alluring not to. The piercing eyes, beautiful face, golden tresses and a body to die for…well it convinced Marissa to take the risk.

**Alex **

'Tackled'? Oh god! If you won't let me take you somewhere to check out your wrist then at least let me do something to apologise.

Alarmed at the word Marissa had used to describe what had happened, her stomach twisted in more guilt. She completely missed the offered innuendo given to her, as her mind scrambled to think of something she could do to apologise properly. Stood here repeating it over and over again just made her feel useless and lacking.

**Marissa **

What did you have in mind?

**Alex **

Well…I could make you lunch. If you swing by a place called The Purple Heart and ask for me I'll make you anything you want. It's quieter at lunch times, good to recover from being tackled.

She smirked, looking into Marissa's curious eyes and somehow feeling a little better. This girl was disarming. Alex knew her offer was the best way to go. It would make a better apology, and show the brunette that she really was more co-ordinated and actually talented. Plus, it would also give her more time to find out about her. And more time to explore those eyes, that face…

**Marissa **

Yeah okay that sounds good. Unnecessary, but good.

Marissa accepted, a light tone to her voice. She smiled again as a look of relief swept across the blonde's face, and again thought how cute it was that she was worried about her. They didn't even know each other, and here she was going out of her way to make sure she was okay and apologise properly. Most people would have walked away by now, not really caring after they knew no real damage had been done.

**Alex **

You know where it is, right?

**Marissa **

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. So, I'll see you there.

Slowly, the two runners began to back away from one another, each reluctant to turn around and go their separate ways. Neither really too sure as to why.

**Alex **

I promise not to harm you in anyway!

**Marissa **

Sold!

They both laughed, then knew they had to walk away. As Marissa began to walk along the track, her mind rushing through the details of what just happened, she stopped and turned around again quickly.

**Marissa **

Wait.

Alex turned around at Marissa's request, looking at her with a quirked eyebrow.

**Marissa **

I don't know your name.

Realising that she was right, Alex smirked. Not once had they told each other their name, and now she had had it pointed out to her, Alex found herself dying to know what it was.

**Alex **

Alex Kelly.

**Marissa **

Marissa Cooper.


	2. The Apology Lunch

(BTW - this is quite a long story, so I think I'll post until there are no signs of enjoyment anymore!)

**Chapter Two - The Apology Lunch**

****

**Cohen, Cooper and Roberts Publishing**

**9:13am**

Marissa barely noticed anyone or anything as she automatically navigated her way to her office, on the top floor of CCR Publishing. She was exceptionally proud of the company she had built with her friends. They had worked hard, planning what they would do in college and then actually getting it off the ground after they graduated. It had taken a lot of hard work, and a lot of help but they had done it. It was theirs. They of course were still establishing themselves in the publishing circles, but they were getting better and better with each passing day. People were turning to them, and they had a great reputation and accumulating respect. It felt good, having something like this. And she had also shocked herself. She had never had any doubt of Summer and Seth being capable of running this business, taking care of their sides of it. But she had doubted herself, a lot. But she had grown into her role as CEO of publishing, and she was damn good at it.

Marissa's office was large and professional, but also warm. There was a welcoming vibe to it, instantly making anyone that stepped in comfortable. Her large desk stood directly in front of the door, near the end of the room where the wall of windows were, behind the desk. She had selected stylish, professional colours, with black and white photographs and a couple of art pieces to go on the walls. Also, a couple of pictures of her friends, and front covers of magazines with them on it.

The lanky businesswoman had already been home, showered and changed before heading to her work, all the while thinking about this mornings encounter. She found herself unable to stop thinking about Alex, even though she was a perfect stranger. As her thoughts turned onto their meeting at lunchtime, Marissa had realised she had no idea where this place was. And knowing she had to be at the office before Summer and Seth left for an overnight business meeting in San Francisco, Marissa decided to get directions from the internet whilst she was there. So here she was, still on cloud nine despite the ache in her now bandaged wrist, donning a pair of jeans, with a strappy pink silk top and a light brown jacket.

As she slipped her jacket off and fired up her computer, Marissa looked out of the window for a moment before sitting in her chair. She entered her password, finding herself getting a little excited. It was only 9 in the morning, but she was eager to find The Purple Heart on the map so she could get to see Alex again. Once again delving into memories of their incident, and wondering why she couldn't stop thinking about her, Marissa didn't notice Summer breeze into her office, looking a tad more professional in a tailored black suit.

**Summer **

Hey Coop.

Looking up from the computer screen, Marissa smiled at her best friend. Summer Roberts felt more like a sister, but even closer, if that was possible. She could never easily sum up their connection, or what she felt for the smaller woman. Summer was the greatest friend anyone could have, and Marissa knew she wouldn't have come so far in her life without Summer's support and love. They had something that went deeper than friendship.

The smile on Marissa's face grew, as she looked at the three year old girl that Summer was carrying. Mini Summer, as she was sometimes referred to. The infant looked exactly like her Mother. The same energetic, loving and sparkling dark eyes, soft black hair and pale skin. Everyone knew she was going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, since she already was.

**Marissa **

Hey Summer. Hey Mia.

**Mia **

Hi 'Issa.

Mia answered sweetly, half asleep and still not quite grasping her 'godmother's' name. Marissa didn't mind, it was so cute.

**Summer **

She's a little tired. She was up half the night. I was just gunna put her down for a nap but I keep getting called over by whiny minions! I'm here to take refuge.

Summer explained, brushing back a little of her daughters hair as she looked at her lovingly. She had been up half the night with Mia after she had suffered a nightmare, and then refused to go to sleep again.

**Marissa **

Put her on my couch, I'll watch her. You'll be going soon anyway.

Marissa instructed, indicating the black leather couch to the right of the room. As she did, she lifted her other hand up to push a strand of hair out the way of her face.

**Summer **

What happened?

Summer wondered, spying the bandage on her friend's wrist. Gazing at Marissa wearily, she noticed a slight change in her demeanour. A brighter twinkle in her intense eyes which was very rarely seen anymore. Actually, Marissa seemed much more lighter than normal, which was a big change for someone so tied down by what she'd been through.

**Marissa **

Oh, I got knocked over on the jog path this morning.

The CEO explained casually, watching as the firms PR gently set her child down onto the couch, letting her head fall onto the soft cushions there. Then her mind couldn't help but drift back into the memory of earlier this morning, making her smirk as she thought about Alex.

Summer turned back to her friend, raising a curious eyebrow as she caught her smirking goofily to herself, clearly in a land of her own. It had been a long time since she had seen Marissa look so energised and uplifted. It was actually relieving to see her like it now. Summer was constantly afraid Marissa was going to eat herself alive. She was a heavy person, intense and raw. She always had been and Summer never expected that to change. She had seen her go through so much pain in her short life, and it wounded her. But there were moments, like this, when Marissa would surface out of all that. When her head would come up from beneath the water, and she would take a huge gulp of air. She would leave the pain behind and let go for a little while, before being dragged off back to her demons.

**Summer **

You don't seem annoyed about it, what's with the smile? You into pain now or something?

She teased, widening her eyes briefly and playfully at the scandal of such a notion. Marissa huffed and laughed, and unusually the smile reached her eyes, making Summer smile too. Marissa wasn't always the Queen of pain, of course. She didn't walk around never smiling or enjoying life. But clearly something had happened to kick start this…whatever it was.

**Marissa **

No! It was…a girl…

Leaning back in her chair, still smirking widely at Summer, Marissa explained. She tried to cough over the 'a girl' part as she spilt almost sheepishly, but to no avail, Summer picked it up. Immediately, the darker haired girl donned a high and mighty expression, putting her hands on her hips and tipping her head back.

**Summer **

Oh no wonder you look happy! Spill!

She ordered, desperate to find out the gossip. She wondered what exactly could have changed in Marissa's life since dinner last night, and her appearance this morning at the office. Changed enough to make her look like a schoolgirl with a serious crush. She saw Marissa roll her eyes, but clearly she was overjoyed at having the opportunity to talk about it.

**Marissa **

She ran into me, felt awful, and now she's invited me for lunch to apologise. Well, she's _making_ the lunch actually.

**Summer **

Making it?

**Marissa **

At The Purple Heart. I think she works there. Do you know where it is? 'Cos I don't have any idea!

Summer frowned, quickly taking in the details according to Marissa and storing them. She flailed a hand at her friend, looking at her with a questioning expression.

**Summer **

No, why didn't you ask?

**Marissa **

I didn't wanna look stupid.

Marissa squeaked, a little defensively. Once again, Summer gave her one of those looks, the ones that she was so good at and made her feel inadequate.

**Summer **

Duh. She accosted you! I think you have major points for that.

**Marissa **

She did _not_ accost me.

Marissa countered, wondering how Summer had reached this conclusion. All Summer did was flail at her dismissively, grunting lightly as she rolled her eyes.

**Summer **

Please. She probably ran into you on purpose!

The brunette stared at her friend, utterly confused as to her line of thinking. Never let it be said that Summer Roberts' mind worked in normal ways. She was just that little bit crazy, but that's why Marissa loved her.

**Marissa **

And why would she do that?

**Summer **

Oh my god you're so naïve!

Summer squeaked, sitting down in the chair at Marissa's desk quickly, making the other girl jump. Summer leant forward, a wild expression running through her eyes as she thought about the conspiracy of it all.

**Summer**

To fall onto you? God, you're not very good at the art of lesbian trickery Coop.

Marissa smiled at her friend as she leant forward, looking at her conspiratorially.

**Marissa **

What interests me is that you are!

**Summer **

Oh you're funny. Whilst I say this your immediate thoughts will be my husband and my daughter…but you are _hot_ girl. Personal injury is a minimal risk if it means falling onto you.

**Marissa **

You're not my type Summer.

Marissa then leaned back, trying her best to look serious even though she was almost biting through her lip to stop herself from laughing. It was hard, considering the dismayed look that shot through Summer's dark eyes was one of the funniest things she had seen lately.

**Summer **

Oh my god I am not hitting on you! Eww…I mean, not eww at you, I mean…god we're like sisters. That's just…hey. What do you mean I'm not your type? Why the hell not? What, I'm not sexy enough for you? Am I too little for your giant taste?

Summer began to protest, until the thought occurred to her that Marissa had no good excuse not to like her. Suddenly she felt rather indignant of being passed over by the brunette, when clearly she was a damn hot girl. But as her best friend began to laugh, she realised she had been had.

**Summer **

Way to go winding up the best friend. I hate you.

**Marissa **

Nah, you love me.

Marissa countered flippantly, looking around her desk for a pen.

**Summer **

So what does this chick…?

Summer watched as Marissa started rifling through the papers stacked on her desk, wondering what she was looking for exactly. It was her day off. Well, technically it wasn't, but she had taken it off anyway in order to baby sit Mia. Summer had organised her nanny to take her daughter overnight as she went on her business trip, but she had been taken ill.

**Marissa **

Alex.

**Summer **

So what does this chick Alex look like?

**Marissa **

She's as tall as me, slender runners figure, long blonde hair with this cool streak of purple, amazing ice blue/grey eyes…gorgeous smile…nice a…

Summer held up her hand, stopping Marissa before she heard anything she didn't particularly want to hear at this time in the morning. But she couldn't help but notice the look on her face, and again got a small wave of relief about it.

**Summer **

Stop! I don't want to know about her ass, thank you. I'll take your dreamy eyed look as a sign its perfect. So she has a thing for purple, huh?

Marissa shrugged, looking at the darker haired girl oddly.

**Marissa **

I don't know.

**Summer **

Hello! The _Purple_ Heart? _Purple_ streak? Are we sensing a theme?

Summer flailed, then widened her eyes as she spoke to Marissa slowly, as though she were stupid or deaf.

**Marissa **

Not really.

**Summer **

Well maybe the place is hers?

**Marissa**

I guess it could be. She seems a little young to own a club though.

For that, Marissa promptly received another look from Summer, as she flailed her hand slightly indicating the office around them.

**Summer **

CCR Publishing combined with Banshee comics. We're like, some of the youngest people ever to be heads of a company we started.

**Marissa **

Yeah, there's that. Okay, yeah, the bar might be hers.

A silence drifted over them, as Summer frowned in thought and Marissa began to tap on her keyboard, looking for a map so she could actually get to the club at lunchtime. She found herself extremely anxious, excited even. There were butterflies flapping in her stomach again, she really didn't want to miss this opportunity to find more out about Alex. Like if she did own the club. If she was as beautiful as she remembered, which Marissa already knew she would be. It wasn't the bump to the head talking. But she also found herself wondering if her feelings would be in vain. Someone like Alex probably had a gorgeous hunk of a man to keep her warm at night.

**Marissa **

I guess I'll find out when I get my apology lunch, won't I? Probably meet her perfect boyfriend too. It's the way my love life has been going the past few months.

**Summer **

No…I don't think so…

Summer replied faintly, still lost in thought. The reply made Marissa look up, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at her.

**Marissa **

Summer, I can _hear_ the cogs turning, let alone see them.

**Summer**

Purple.

**Marissa**

What?

**Summer**

What else is purple?

**Marissa **

Erm…things that are purple?

Summer sighed, looking at Marissa as though she had caused her actual pain.

**Summer **

God you're not a very good lesbian. Purple Coop? It's associations? It's _gay _associations. Especially with the fairer sex? Think!

As Marissa did think of it, she began to realise that Summer had somewhat of a point. Which actually scared her slightly!

**Marissa **

No really, you haven't had any secret training, right?

**Summer **

No offence, but eww! Could not go there. I got my girl thank you very much. He's down the hall playing with his horse!

They both cringed as the words left her mouth.

**Summer **

That came out wrong.

**Marissa **

So wrong.

**Summer **

Cohen's my bitch. She's my girl. That's better.

She corrected herself proudly, flicking a hand when she mentioned Seth and then indicating the sleeping girl over on the sofa as she looked at her adoringly. Summer had never really understood what her Dad talked about when he explained a parents love for their child. Well, not so much her Mother's love, obviously, but his. Her Dad had always been there for her, and she had always taken it for granted. Until she had had Mia. A little younger than she had anticipated having children, but the emotion that took over her when it came to her daughter was overwhelming. She finally got what her Dad talked about all these years. She had doubted herself at first, when she had found out she was pregnant. Everyone had told her she would be fine, but there had been this doubt in the back of her mind. She had been scared of failing. She had been even more scared of hurting Mia like her own Mother had hurt her. But here she was, proving herself wrong. There wasn't one thing she wouldn't do for her child.

**Marissa **

I still can't believe you have a daughter.

**Summer **

I know. Who'd have thought it?

As the women fell into a comfortable silence, still gazing at Mia, they didn't notice Seth wonder into the doorway. He had his nose buried in a file, his forehead scrunching up in concentration. Then, as he looked up, he frowned again as he saw Marissa sitting at her desk. He had come in here to find Summer, after her personal assistant told him she had come in here to seek some privacy with their daughter. He didn't expect to see Marissa here.

**Seth **

Hey I thought you weren't working today?

Both Summer and Marissa looked around as Seth made his presence known. Summer looked at her husband thoughtfully, as Marissa smiled and held her hands up innocently.

**Marissa**

I'm not. You do not see me handling these papers. I am not addicted to my work. I'm just here as your break glass emergency nanny.

Suddenly, everything fell into place. He remembered Summer muttering something about their nanny being ill and her calling Marissa last night, but he had been on the verge of sleep. And he had been so busy with work this morning that it had just completely slipped his mind.

Standing behind his wife, he placed his hands on her shoulders as he firstly looked at his daughter, then back at Marissa as she opened her draws and pulled out a couple of files. Not addicted to her work? Since when? Ever since they had gone into business, Marissa had turned into a workaholic. Which, who really saw that one coming? All the slacking off she did in school? The partying in college? It's not like she had ever really given a damn. She had remained indifferent to just about everything, even the women she slept with. But as soon as they committed to their plans, she had changed. He often mused that she had numbed herself to life to try and reduce the pain she suffered. To try and live with what she had already been through, and possibly to try and dodge anymore coming her way.

**Summer **

She met a girl!

Seth looked down at Summer as she tapped his hand, dropping her head back to look at him and then whispered loud enough for Marissa to hear. He smirked crookedly, looking back up at the brunette with teasing eyes as he drew his head back.

**Seth **

Ah…that's why you're so ancy. Where's that Cooper confidence?

**Summer **

It was accosted out of her.

**Marissa **

She did not accost me.

Marissa almost snapped, trying to get that idea out of Summer's head before she actually believed it happened. She also didn't want her telling Seth that it happened either. But all the lanky, comic book executive did was shake his head in confusion, then look down at Summer again.

**Seth **

I am so confused. So, the caterers called about the launch party menu. I think you may want to argue with them about it a little. And you know, the car is gunna be here in like, 10 minutes.

He informed her, wiggling the wrist that he wore his watch on. Summer just sighed and rolled her eyes, thinking of the work ahead of her. It actually took a lot to keep this firm in the limelight. What with the individual promotions of authors, books, comics, poetry and journals as well as keeping an eye on the press, the market and making sure their name as a whole got mentioned a lot, she had a lot on her plate.

**Summer **

Great. Who knew PR was so much fun!

**Marissa **

You know you love it.

Marissa replied almost flippantly, not taking notice of Summer's bitter comment. She knew how much Summer loved doing her job. Mixing and mingling, networking and going to the constant stream of parties and what not, it was Summer's playground. She just liked to pretend to grumble about it sometimes. Really, they all loved what they were doing. They ran three completely different parts of their company, but also depended on one another when things crossed over.

**Summer **

I know. So, are you sure you're okay with taking Mia for the night? We shouldn't be home late tomorrow. The meeting should be finished with by lunch.

**Marissa **

It's fine. This is why I'm her godmother right? Don't worry, I've done this before remember? No boys, no beer, no E numbers after 5. Relax.

Marissa smirked playfully, knowing how much Summer hated having to part with Mia. Especially when it was for a prolonged amount of time, like the overnight stay she was doing in San Francisco.

**Seth **

You're handling the printer's right?

**Marissa **

Shocking news, I've handled the publishing of books, journals and comics many times before. This is why I work in publishing.

Holding his hands up in defense in response to Marissa's snarky reply, Seth started taking tiny steps backward slowly.

**Seth **

Ohhh-kay…the lady drama is making her cranky. Summer, step away real slow. She may use her super powers to strike.

He shielded his face dramatically, making Summer roll her eyes and Marissa to give him an off glare. His wife just ignored him, standing up and gesturing for Marissa to do the same as she walked around the desk. The taller woman did as she was told and stood up too, moving to meet Summer around the side of the desk.

**Summer**

Thank you for stepping in for Helena. We'll see you tomorrow.

Summer reached forward and up to give Marissa a tight hug, and smiled as her friend squeezed her back.

**Marissa**

No worries. You just make sure we have a kink free investment. This is our 5th comic book, I don't want to be anything else but on fire, tie the rights down.

**Seth **

Okay Cosmo Girl! Tell Mia we love her. We'll call her tonight before bedtime.

Marissa nodded, watching silently as the two proud parents went to give their daughter a kiss goodbye, making sure not to wake up. Seth brushed some of her soft black hair back, then turned around to follow Summer toward the door. They both waved at Marissa as they went, and she did the same.

Standing there in silence for a moment after her office door was closed, she sighed and looked at Mia.

**Marissa **

Well kid, it's just you and me.

**The Purple Heart**

**12:11pm**

The club was bigger than she had expected. So big that Marissa wondered that if at one time, it had been a huge warehouse or something. She couldn't help but let her jaw drop slightly in surprise, as she also wondered why she had never even been here before.

Upon her entry, the first thing Marissa saw was the open freestanding area. There were a few high tables for people to put their drinks on and chat. To her left, there was a spacious seating area, where some lunchtime diners were already enjoying the food being served to them. On the right was the kitchen. With the wall of glass, you could see right in to view what was happening and what the kitchen staff were doing.

Further down, there was a large, circular bar, currently being manned by two girls that were deep in conversation and restocking glasses and fridges. And from what Marissa saw, the space behind them was a huge dance floor, with a deep stage at the front. There were walkways upstairs, where she could see some more seats and tables.

The club had a comfortable, friendly vibe floating through it. The colours of the place, which was quite a bit of purple, and the décor was understated yet effective. And the smell of the food was enough to make your mouth water.

**Marissa **

Wow. Cool place, huh?

Her voice was soft, still taking in and in awe of the building she had come to find herself in. She hadn't really known what she had expected, after all, Alex was a stranger. Their chance meeting hadn't give much away about her. Marissa could have expected some dingy, dive of a bar for all she knew. Just, somehow, she hadn't anticipated all of this as she had been staring at Alex this morning.

Mia, now awake and refreshed, happily sat in Marissa's arm whilst playing with a handful of her hair. The youngster looked around her surroundings, interested, like her Aunt.

**Mia **

Yeah.

Coming back to the land of the living, Marissa slowly began to make her way toward the bar, figuring it would be the best place to ask if Alex was around. Surprisingly, she began to feel butterflies fluttering deep inside her stomach. Excitement buzzed throughout her whole body, sending the blood whooshing past her ears. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. Not over someone she didn't know, and not like this.

As she neared the bar, Marissa caught a glimpse of unmistakable blonde hair. A shade of blonde that the brunette had now decided, was unique to Alex and would forever be burnt into her memory. Along with its silky softness.

As Alex emerged from a door back behind the bar, presumably an office of some sort, with her head buried in a clipboard, Marissa felt her heart skip and her breath hitch. If it was possible, Alex was even more beautiful now than from this morning. She was breathtaking, and Marissa couldn't help but let her eyes feast on the sight before her.

Alex, now showered and changed from her run, looked radiant. She was wearing a pair of low cut blue jeans, together with a deep red top with a white pattern on it. The top was also low cut too, allowing a mouth watering view of the soft skin along her midriff. Not so much that it made her seem sluty or egotistical, but enough to emphasis her confidence and sexiness.

**Marissa **

Hey.

With realising her mouth was starting to go dry with all the gawking she was doing, coupled with the embarrassment that she was just stood there like a fool, made Marissa clear her throat and made the blonde aware of her presence. And as soon as she did, she felt her stomach dip nervously. Maybe Alex was just being polite at the running track. Maybe she hadn't meant for her to really show up. And even if she did want her to, Marissa still had no idea which way Alex swung. It's not like she could just ask her over lunch. Then she wondered, exactly how she had become so caught up in Alex, and how it had happened so quickly.

Alex looked up from the clipboard immediately, her electric blue/grey eyes almost glowing with the smile that she gave to Marissa. It had been odd that she had walked in on that moment. All morning Alex had been preoccupied with the brunette she had knocked over. Somehow, Marissa had been popping up into her thoughts, getting under her skin. Finally, Alex forced herself to do some paperwork to take her mind off of the other woman. For the one moment she had managed not to think about Marissa, she was right here.

**Alex **

Hey, you made it.

Now completely disregarding her work and letting the clipboard drop to her side with her arm, she walked over to Marissa slowly, feeling a pang of nerves and excitement of her own. She continued to smile as she lifted her other hand with the pen, and brushed some of her hair from her eyes before looking up and straight into Marissa's. They locked immediately, intently, and she felt her heart thump against her chest. What was it about this girl? This wasn't her. Meeting someone and feeling this, it so wasn't her thing. She laughed at the notion of love at first sight, but now she knew why people believed it. Not that this was what this was. She wasn't in love, but she could see herself being, and that was something she didn't feel everyday. Or any day.

**Marissa **

Yeah well, I couldn't let you stew in your guilt now could I?

**Alex **

Thankfully not. So...who's this?

Alex indicated the child sitting patiently in Marissa's arms, still looking around her surroundings. She felt her breath catch a little, anxious to know whether the little girl was Marissa's or not. They didn't look remarkably similar or anything, but it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. And if Marissa had a kid, it would mean there might be a snowballs chance in hell for her.

**Marissa **

Oh this is Mia. You gunna say hi to Alex?

Marissa lifted Mia up in her arms again, looking at her niece with an adoring smile. Catching the toddlers attention, Mia looked at the blonde woman in front of her and smiled. And Marissa couldn't help but get a little mesmerised at seeing Alex smile back at Mia. She had a radiating smile, it was gorgeous.

**Mia **

Hi Alec.

Mia said cheerily, making the two women laugh.

**Alex **

Close enough! You're just too cute, but I bet a lot of people have said that before.

**Mia **

Daddy says I 'Incess Cutie-pie!

**Alex **

You're Daddy isn't wrong! So, you guys wanna come sit down?

Marissa nodded, before Alex gestured them to follow before turning and walking toward the dining area. She led them to a smaller booth, both comfortable and private.

Alex watched as Marissa put Mia down first, fussing over her gently as she did. She took the girls jacket off, making sure she shuffled down but was on the seat properly, before sitting down besides her.

**Marissa **

So this place is really something.

Alex, now interrupted from staring at Marissa, looked around the club quickly.

**Alex**

I hope so. How's your wrist?

Chuckling, Marissa lifted up her wrist and wiggled it.

**Marissa **

Not quite the disaster you thought it was!

Cringing, Alex thought back to this morning, and how she had panicked. Not usually her style. She didn't like breaking her cool, calm exterior unless she really had to. Now if Marissa had been run through the stomach with a pole upon hitting the ground, that would have warranted panic. A little scratch on the wrist, not so much.

**Alex **

Shut up!

**Marissa **

First you tackle me now you tell me to shut up. There's just no end to your charm is there?

**Alex **

All part of the Alex Kelly experience!

Marissa laughed, shaking her head at the blonde's antics. So far, she was glad that she had decided to come for lunch. Even if some of her instincts were telling her not to.

**Alex **

Okay! So, anything you're in the mood for, I will cook. It's my day off but hey; I gotta prove I don't just alienate random strangers.

**Marissa **

As your latest victim I insist that you eat with us too.

**Alex **

Gladly. So what shall it be?

**Mia**

Pancakes!

Laughing lightly, Alex couldn't help but nod in agreement with the toddler. Pancakes weren't usually on the menu, but who was she to refuse such a cute little girl?

**Alex **

Pancakes for Princess Cutie-Pie! Done.

**Marissa **

Use your judgement with mine.

Marissa shrugged lightly, not giving the menu a glance over. She didn't know why, but she trusted Alex to make something good for her. Almost as though she could tell that she was a good chef without having tasted anything. Also, she couldn't explain this feeling of easiness she had around the blonde. Even after being knocked to the ground, she felt a comfortable air with Alex. It was weird. It was definitely weird for her. Especially since she didn't actually know this girl. She still didn't even know if she played for the same team or not.

**Alex **

Really? You're trusting me to make you something you'll like?

**Marissa**

I'll eat pretty much anything. And I have faith in you.

Alex smiled charmingly, suddenly feeling her confidence bolster a little. There was something there, some peculiar connection between them. It was the eyes, they were so mesmerising and electrifying. The blonde chef had trouble looking away from Marissa's dark blue orbs, unwilling to stop that connection she suddenly found herself needing.

This couldn't be happening, it was ridiculous. It was just too much. Things like this didn't happen outside of the movies. They didn't happen to real people. They didn't happen to her. This wasn't her style. If she saw a girl she liked, she went for it. It wasn't a long term plan, she didn't see the future with anyone. She didn't feel a connection or electricity shoot through her. But here she was, doing exactly all of those with this gorgeous stranger before her.

**Alex **

A surprise for the lady it is then...oomph!

Alex was shunted forward, much to the surprise of Marissa. She watched curiously, as Alex swept down to pick up a little blonde girl that seemed to be four or five. She laughed uncontrollably as Alex swooped her up into her arms, tickling her at the same time. She really was the spitting image of Alex. Silky blonde hair, glowing blue eyes and a sweet smile. An adorable kid if ever you saw one. And at that moment, Marissa's heart skipped a beat. Alex had a daughter?

**Alex**

How did you get out?

**Holly **

Snuck out!

The little girl replied giddily, extremely proud of herself for escaping. She laughed again, as Alex squeezed her side gently, pretending to be mad as she leant her forehead against Holly's.

**Alex **

Time for the talk on proper babysitting techniques with the staff again. People are gunna start to think I invest in child labour!

**Marissa **

She looks just like you.

Marissa almost whispered, her voice quiet as she still looked between the two blondes, still taken away by the similarity. Then, she watched as Alex shifted the girl in her arms, as she scoffed lightly, bugging out her eyes slightly.

**Alex **

Trust me; she looks more like her Dad. Holly, this is Marissa and Mia. Say hello.

Marissa let her eyes drop briefly, instantly deflated at hearing mention of Holly's Father. She was right. Of course she had been right. When did her love life go simply? Actually, when did her life go simply period? She hadn't been able to help her hopes getting high. Alex was so compelling. There was just such a presence about her. Marissa knew she should have known better than to gush over someone that was bound to be taken, or just batting for the other team.

**Holly **

Hello!

**Alex **

Time to put you back to work with all the other children until your Dad comes for you.

**Holly **

I wanna stay here.

Holly replied petulantly, beginning to try and wriggle out of Alex's grasp. She looked as though she were ready to start a fight for the cause of not going back to where she came from, and suddenly Marissa felt a surge of compassion run through her.

**Marissa **

I'll watch her.

Having been about to reply, Alex frowned in surprise as she looked at the brunette.

**Alex **

Are you sure?

Marissa shrugged lightly to Alex's shocked question, as she smirked warmly.

**Marissa **

Hey, I'm already on nanny duty right? One more can't hurt.

She wasn't sure what it was, but it felt like anticipation mixed with relief. Electric blue eyes looked between Mia and Marissa, eyebrows furrowed into a confused yet hopeful frown as her free hand pointed between them.

**Alex **

So...she's not...?

**Marissa **

Huh? Oh! Oh no, she's not. _Noooo_! I'm her godmother. Her parents are in San Fran for a meeting overnight.

Marissa knew relief when she saw it, and she swore she just saw it shoot across Alex's eyes. She seriously thought Mia was her daughter? They didn't look that much alike, did they? Glancing at her niece, Marissa considered the assumption. Okay so Mia's hair was a little darker and she had brown eyes, but they could be mistaken for Mother and daughter. Then, she looked back up at Alex, who was grinning lopsidedly.

**Alex **

Cool...I mean...I...yeah.

Marissa smirked as Alex rolled her eyes at herself, clearly not impressed with her failure to articulate. It was cute when she blushed a little, knowing that she was being kind of goofy, and giving herself away a little bit. In Alex's relief she had shown her hand to Marissa, who was know gaining the distinct feeling that the blonde liked her.

**Marissa **

But Holly is...

**Alex **

My niece! She's my niece. I have a brother. We're twins.

Alex replied hastily, almost insanely actually, in her fluster to make sure that Marissa knew she was without child, and hopefully getting it across that she wasn't taken. Clearing her throat, she calmed herself down and just let a penetrating look linger over the brunette as she smiled.

**Marissa **

Okay. That erm...

Marissa didn't know how to finish that sentence, but as she smiled too, not being able to tear her eyes away from Alex's, there was a feeling of understanding crossing between them. Alex nodded faintly, her powerful eyes sparkling before she blinked and cleared her throat again.

**Alex **

Yeah...I'm gunna go cook!

Moving to place Holly down onto the other side of the booth, Alex knew she needed to rip herself away from Marissa before she couldn't physically move. She wanted to stay, wanted to find out as much as she could about the other girl, which was also a feeling that she had never really encountered. Marissa was stirring something inside of her that she hadn't actually thought had been there. And she needed time to think about that. Despite being glad that Marissa seemed to like her, it scared her a little bit. Instantly connecting with someone, feeling that strange electricity between them and an air of understanding, it frightened her.

**Alex **

Be good.

Holly nodded at her Aunt, before Alex ruffled her hair a little bit and turned around and started walking away so she could go to the kitchen.

**Marissa **

Good is overrated!

She couldn't help however, turn back to look at Marissa as she heard her comment. She starred at the brunette for a moment, catching the innuendo and the inviting look she was sending her way, and felt something move inside of her. Instantly, like a switch being flicked, Alex found herself even more attracted to Marissa. And absolutely turned on. Flustered, she turned back around, and quickened her step until she disappeared into one of the staff doors.

It was only moments later that Alex came back into view again. This time in her chef whites. Thanks to the top half of the wall being glass so you could see into the kitchen, Marissa had a pretty good view of the blonde she was currently lusting over. Alex hadn't lost any of her raw sexiness in her change of clothes, even the hat didn't do anything to detract from it. She smiled at a man that was already cooking in there, saying something as she started to get some things prepared.

After a minute of unadulterated staring, Marissa tore her eyes away to talk with the two little girls she was now in charge of looking after. They were getting along happily, both content to sit and share the crayons she got out for them, drawing pictures and talking to her as they did. She was too engrossed to see Alex looking over from time to time. She only just managed to see a waitress heading over, skilfully managing to carry all three plates at once. After she set them down, she took a piece of paper out of her apron and handed it to Marissa, giving her a friendly smile.

**Lisa**

Alex asked me to give you this. She said she's really sorry. I'll come and get Holly when she's finished eating.

Having done her duty, the raven haired girl with a nametag saying Lisa, walked away to let them eat in peace. Marissa opened the note, not being able to help but frown in confusion.

_Marissa, I'm stuck in the kitchen 'cos one of my chefs rang in sick. I hope you like your meal, and I am really very sorry for knocking you over this morning. It sucks, 'cos I was gunna prove that I have other charms! Another time perhaps? Call me. Alex._

Marissa felt a wave of disappointment rush through her as she read Alex's note, but also couldn't help but smirk. It was sweet, and genuine and even quite flirty. Marissa had to marvel at the skill of putting all that into one little note! As she looked up toward the kitchen, her breath caught a little to find that Alex was stood watching her read the note. As their eyes locked, the blonde merely shrugged with her hands in the air, smirking regretfully with a 'what can you do' look covering her beautiful face. Marissa reflected the smile back to the other woman, nodding in understanding. She just watched, as Alex turned into the kitchen again, going about her job.

After finishing her lunch, which was mouth watering, Marissa helped the girls pack up the crayons, and said goodbye to Holly who was indeed, taken away by Lisa. The little blonde girl went happily, chatting to the waitress contentedly as she carried the pictures she had drawn with her.

**Marissa **

You have fun with Holly?

Mia nodded enthusiastically, concentrating on putting her arms in the jacket that Marissa was holding out for her.

**Mia **

Yeah.

**Marissa **

We'll hafta ask her Daddy if she can come play with you sometime, huh?

Again, Mia nodded as she pulled her hair out the back of her jacket, and grinned at her Aunt sweetly. Marissa couldn't help but smile back at her, understanding how Mia had both Seth and Summer wrapped around her little fingers. The girl was adorable, and had everyone that came into her presence at her command. Even the couple in the next booth were cooing over how cute she was.

Now that it was time to go, Marissa peered over toward the kitchen. She chuckled, rolling her eyes good naturedly as she saw Alex and another chef doing a foolish, yet utterly adorable, dance as they cooked. They were even singing along with the song playing overhead. The song happened to be 'Downtown' by Peaches. Ironic, in so many ways!

Deciding not to disturb their rhythm, the CEO pulled out a pen from her purse along with a piece of paper.

_Alex, the meal was fantastic but you still owe me. Let's do this again, let me know. Marissa. _

After shoving her pen back inside her purse, Marissa slipped out of the booth and picked up Mia before turning and walking over to the bar. Again, she came face to face with the rather striking Lisa. The staff member turned around properly and smiled at her again.

**Marissa **

Hey, could you give this to Alex please?

**Lisa**

Sure, no problem.

Lisa took the paper from the brunette, giving her an encouraging wink before the other woman smiled sheepishly and walked away. After watching her go, Lisa left her post at the bar and walked to the kitchen door. Pushing her way through it, she held the note up in the air, waving it about teasingly.

**Lisa**

Yo boss lady!

Alex turned around, her immediate feeling of doom causing her face to drop.

**Alex **

Please don't be telling me someone else is off sick?

**Lisa**

Nah, just a note from the girl you made lunch for.

**Alex **

She left?

Alex switched her gaze from her employee to the empty booth that Marissa had been sitting at. She sighed, somewhat disappointed to find that she had left. But what did she expect? It wasn't as though Marissa had all day to just sit around hoping to talk to her. She had a life.

**Staff **

Yeah, she asked me to pass this on. She's cute boss!

Alex, having wiped her hands, took the note from Lisa, ignoring her comment. At least the note was something. Marissa wanted to see her again, and it implied something that Alex was hoping for too. The day really had been strange, but in a very good way. At least she had received a good outcome.

**Lisa**

How we coming on table 4?

**Chef **

2 minutes.


	3. The Lost Chance

**Chapter Three – The Lost Chance Early evening Marissa's house**

Marissa pulled back the covers of the bed in the spare room of her house, and watched as Mia crawled into it. After leaving The Purple Heart, they had been to the zoo and then took a stroll through the park. Mia had been running around and playing like a crazy girl, and after having a bath and some supper, was rather worn out.

**Marissa **

I bet that's your Mom and Dad!

Marissa enthused, hearing the house phone ring in her pocket. She had picked it up when she had taken Mia for a bath, figuring that her friends were bound to ring from sometime then or onwards. She smiled as Mia grinned hopefully, watching her intently as she answered the phone.

**Marissa **

_Hellooooo_?

The infant laughed happily as Marissa pulled a face as she answered the phone in a funny voice

**Summer **

Coop, have you lost your mind?

**Marissa **

No, I'm being funny.

**Summer **

Ohhh-kay then! Is Mia still awake? Things ran later than we expected and then we got stuck in stupid traffic 'cos apparently our driver drives as girly as Cohen!

Summer explained in a huff, clearly annoyed at what had happened. From somewhere in the background, there was a small, whiney objection to be heard from Seth, which made Marissa giggle a little bit.

**Marissa **

Yes she's right here, just hopped into bed. I'll put her on.

Handing the phone over to her niece, Marissa sat back and let her talk to her parents. With a sudden second wave of excitement, Mia rambled her way through what they had done today. She told both her parents about the zoo, and her favourite animals, and how Marissa wouldn't go anywhere near the snakes or the birds. It wasn't long though, that the youngster simply couldn't stay awake. After ten minutes, she drifted off to sleep, mid sentence. Marissa took the phone away gently, covering Mia up properly and then creeping out of the room, turning the light off as she stepped out.

**Marissa **

Sum? You still there?

**Summer **

Yeah, I wanted to see how your lunch went with Miss Purple.

Leaving the door ajar, Marissa strode down the hall and hopped down the stairs quickly, not wanting to disturb Mia from her sleep.

**Marissa **

Well, the meal was fantastic.

**Summer **

So she can cook…what of her and her preferences?

**Marissa **

Well she was gunna eat with us, but she had to cover for an absent chef so I didn't get to talk to her. But there's definitely a vibe. I think! She gave me her number on a note. And I erm…I gave her mine and said we should do it again.

**Summer **

You did? Ballsy! See, there's the Coop I know and love. Back in the game, striving for what she wants.

**Marissa **

I know…it's taken a while but I think I'm ready. There's just something about her Summer. I can't explain it.

**Summer **

Oh honey you don't have to. I know what that feeling is. What else do you think would make me marry Cohen? If I could have explained it I would have ran for the hills!

Once again, Marissa laughed as she heard another objection from the background. Of course, they all knew it was a complete lie. Summer had always been head over heels for Seth. After realising that he existed, of course. No one really knew why, but they fit together so perfectly. Marissa had always been happy for her best friend. Summer was such a good person, she deserved to have everything she wanted, and probably more. Seth was what she wanted. And, well, they were Marissa's role models. The whole stable relationship thing, she looked up to them for that. It was here template.

**Marissa **

Well let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't know if I picked up the vibes properly and she hasn't called yet. But she's probably still working.

**Summer **

Well you hang tough, 'kay?

**Marissa **

Will do. I'll see you tomorrow.

**Summer **

Okay. Love you.

**Marissa **

Love you too. Bye.

**Later that night**

**Alex's house**

Alex shouldered her way through her front door, yanking the key back out of the lock as she sighed her way inside. The exhaustion running through her subsided just a little bit, giving way to the relief she felt for making it home alive.

Turning around, the tired chef locked the door again, and walked her way through the hall and into the kitchen. It had been the longest day today. This morning, meeting Marissa? It seemed like a distant memory. She had been cooking until 8pm, barely managing to catch a break. Then, after showering and changing back into her clothes, she had braved the evening masses. Like always, the club was packed, mostly with eager, horny women, that wanted to party. Tonight however, they had partied a little _too _hard. Having to separate three fights was not Alex's idea of a good time.

Tiredly, as she walked past the man standing at the breakfast counter currently pouring himself a drink, she grunted her hello.

**Ryan **

Hey. How was work?

Alex groaned, dumping her work bag next to the washing machine and slapping her keys onto the counter top. With another long, deep sigh, she turned to face her brother, leaning back against the counter.

**Alex **

It sucked. I haven't stopped cooking since lunchtime. Then of course there was the general club chaos after that.

Ryan cringed, feeling sorry for his sister. His twin sister, actually. He knew how off the hook her club could become, and how hard she pushed herself to make things work. He was proud of her, immensely so. But sometimes he wished she would sit back and take things easy. But that just wasn't Alex's style. Everything had to be full on. She never stopped, never took a break. And her club was like her child, she loved it.

**Ryan **

Ouch. So. You met a girl, huh?

**Alex **

Holly told you about lunch, didn't she?

Alex asked suspiciously, having thoughts to tickle her niece senseless in the morning. That girl was such a snitch sometimes. Still, it saved her from having to broach the subject with Ryan. Not that she didn't want to tell him. That wasn't it. He was her brother, he had always been there for her. They were closer than any of their friends were with their siblings. Maybe it was the twin thing, she didn't know. All she did know was that Ryan had supported her and backed her up with everything she had done and been through in her life. She was just a little bit nervous, because she didn't usually feel like this about someone. She didn't want to look foolish, or Ryan to assume that this was just another girl she would loose interest in and place on her bedpost.

**Ryan **

Holly tells her Daddy everything! So fess up.

Rolling her eyes, Alex leaned back into the counter a little bit as images of Marissa popped up in her head, making her smirk.

**Alex **

Her name is Marissa. She's very nice, I ran into her on the track in the park. And I think she likes me. I hope she does, at least.

She informed, a little sheepishly, which wasn't usually her style either. Ryan gazed at his technically baby sister, 7 minutes still counted, and weighed up the look in her eyes as she stared down at the kitchen floor. He knew her pretty well, and they had that whole twin perception thing going on between them. He knew something was different about this. But he also knew that Alex was squirming a little. So, like the good brother he was, he decided not to push her about it yet. She needed to sort her thoughts out, and that was cool. So instead, he decided to broach a different subject.

**Ryan **

Cool! Now we're both having some luck with the ladies. Hey, you're sure you don't mind us staying here for a while?

He asked, still worrying about living with Alex. It wasn't the living with Alex part he worried about. It was invading her space. He didn't want her to feel like she had to offer just because they were brother and sister. Even though deep down he knew that she wanted him and Holly here, he still felt a little bad about it. And he felt a blow to himself, having to depend on her too.

**Alex **

I'm your sister Ryan. It's not like I haven't lived with you before.

**Ryan **

Yeah, but I don't wanna take it for granted.

**Alex **

You're not. You know you and Holly are always welcome here. We're twins, we get each other through everything, okay?

Ryan smiled lightly, as he nodded in agreement as Alex pinned him with a look he knew all too well. They really had gotten each other through everything. It had been a rough ride for both of them, but they had always been there for one another.

**Ryan **

Okay.

**Alex **

Good. Now I'm going to go slip into a coma!

Happy that the matter was settled, Alex pushed herself off from the counter, hoping that her body would actually make it upstairs to her bedroom. Her eyes were threatening to actually shed blood if she kept them open for much longer, and her head was beginning to daze a little from sleepiness. She waved goodnight toward Ryan as he did the same, and took herself away and off to the land of slumber.

**Morning**

As though he had never moved, Alex plodded downstairs, barefoot, and entered the kitchen to find Ryan yet again at the breakfast counter. This time, he was sitting on one of the stools, drinking coffee. He looked up, taking in the morning state of his sister. Barely awake and blonde hair mussed up all over.

**Ryan **

Hey.

There was a grunt in reply, making him snicker lightly.

**Ryan **

Yeah, that's attractive. Show the new girl that!

Alex simply replied by smacking her brother upside the head, as she walked past him on her way to the coffee pot.

**Ryan **

Why are you up so early anyway?

He wondered, watching her pour out some coffee and yawning widely. She was so spaced out that she almost didn't notice how full her mug was getting. He hadn't expected to see her at all this morning, considering how crazy her day had been yesterday and how late she had turned into bed.

**Alex **

There's a delivery at the club I need to oversee.

Alex replied, turning around to lean back on the counter. She wrapped her hands around her mug, enjoying the warm sensation and the smell of the strong coffee. Lifting the mug up, she began to sip at it.

**Ryan **

I erm...I'm taking Holly to see Mom and Dad after school. You wanna come?

Ryan asked quietly, and in a way, almost afraid to ask. He ducked his head down as he did, and then lifted it back up after to look at his sister, who was staring at him completely unimpressed.

**Alex **

Do I ever wanna come? I'm surprised you even take Holly there.

She replied coldly. Not coldly toward him, but to the subject of their parents. And he knew she was confused and probably mad that he still took his daughter to see them. That was her right and he couldn't blame her for that.

**Ryan **

Yeah I know. I just think she needs to know her Grandparents is all.

**Alex **

You're the better twin.

She stated, not really wanting to be dragged into a debate or memories about her parents at such an ungodly hour of the morning. Instead, she began to look around, her eyebrows starting to furrow in confusion. There was a looming feeling moving in over her, making her stomach dip a little bit.

**Alex **

Ry, where's my bag?

**Ryan **

Oh I put it away.

He answered flippantly, making the blonde begin to panic.

**Alex **

Please tell me you didn't wash my whites?

**Ryan **

Yeah I did. You were beat so I thought I'd take care of it for you.

Looking alarmed, Alex dumped her coffee mug onto the counter and moved over to the washing machine, yanking it open ungracefully.

**Alex **

No. No, no, no, no...

Pulling her chef whites out of the dryer, she knew exactly what that looming feeling was about. She had left Marissa's number in chef's tunic pocket. The one which was currently in the washing machine, all clean and shiny.

**Ryan **

What's wrong?

Frowning at Alex's odd behaviour, Ryan watched his sister route through the pockets of the tunic, grimacing as she did.

**Alex **

I put Marissa's number in my pocket.

**Ryan **

Oh crap.

His face dropped as he realised what he had done, and as he watched Alex pull the dissolved pieces of left over paper out of the pocket, looking at them glumly.

**Ryan**

Alex I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Letting out a dejected sigh as her shoulders sagged, Alex dropped the tunic and leaned back, still not looking away from the bits of paper.

**Alex **

It's not your fault.

**Ryan **

I didn't even think about checking the pockets. I'm so sorry.

Ryan felt pangs of guilt shoot through his stomach, now watching Alex stand up, still looking deflated at loosing the girls number. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough not to check her pockets before putting her stuff in the wash. All he had wanted to do was help her out.

**Ryan **

You know where she lives? Or works?

**Alex **

No.

She replied quietly, coming to realise that she really didn't know anything about Marissa Cooper. She might have done, if she had had the change to eat with her yesterday. But it didn't happen, and Alex had no idea how she could get in touch with her now.

**Ryan **

Did you give her your number?

**Alex **

Yeah, I did. But I doubt she'll call me if I don't call her first.

**Ryan **

Maybe she'll be in the book.

**Alex **

Maybe.

**Ryan **

I'm sorry Alex.

**Alex **

S'okay, you were just trying to help out.

**Monday morning**

**CCR Publishing**

**Marissa**

I don't want excuses I want explanations.

**Jacob**

I don't know what to say besides sorry.

Marissa, currently sitting at her desk, leaning forward slightly, couldn't describe just how pissed off she was right now. The last thing she needed on a Monday morning was this shit. Sorting through staff quarrels and insubordinations and such as it went. Rationally, she knew it was her job. And normally, she wouldn't have a problem doing it. But today, she was in a foul mood and it was showing. From the moment she had dragged herself out of bed this morning, Marissa knew she was like a bear with a soar head. A few of her employees had already found that out the hard way.

**Marissa**

That doesn't cut it anymore. You're constantly late, you're insubordinate, lazy, and ignorant and you do sloppy work. And you wonder why you're supervisor complains about you so much? You know, the one you just called a bitch?

Marissa listed off and demanded confrontationally, sitting back in her chair as she gazed across the table at her prey, pinning him with an icy glare. Despite being worked up and a little more irrational than she should be, Marisa knew that she wasn't wrong. She had a file on Jacob with a list of complaints and she was getting sick of it. She had already given him a couple of warnings, and a disciplinary. Yet still he insisted on acting up.

**Jacob**

Well maybe she is a bitch.

**Marissa**

Well maybe you're just fired.

She retorted, adopting the same flippant and arrogant tone that Jacob used. Shrugged casually, she leaned forward again, closing the file on her desk before sitting back.

**Jacob**

What?

**Marissa**

You heard me. Clean out your desk and get out.

**Jacob**

Well you're a bitch too!

Marissa simply watched the lanky, skinny guy stand up angrily, scowling as he threw her the insult. Mockingly, she slapped a hand over her heart, pulling a pretend sad and hurt expression.

**Marissa**

Ouch, that'll stick with me. Get out.

After her snarl, Jacob turned on his heels, marching toward the door grumbling something under his breath. Marissa sighed, shaking her head as she picked up her desk phone and rang down to security, advising them that she wanted Jacob escorted off the premises immediately. She didn't want to give him the chance to screw with any of their work, or client documents. She slammed the phone down, then sighed as she propped her head up on the desk with one elbow, and used her free hand to rub her forehead tiredly. She didn't even notice Seth wondering in, looking back over his shoulder after passing the disgruntled, now ex employee.

**Seth**

Hey, what happened there?

**Marissa**

I fired him.

She replied without looking up. Instead she just continued to nurse her head, feeling a rather large headache moving in.

**Seth**

Really? Why?

Looking up now, Marissa focused her scowl onto Seth as he reached her desk.

**Marissa**

Checking up on my managerial skills?

She snapped irritably, making Seth draw back his head. Holding up his hands in defence, he frowned, taking in just how furious and worked up Marissa looked. He hadn't seen her up until now, but he had caught the scuttlebutt around the office. Everyone had been warned off from her today. If you valued your life, you weren't to go and see Marissa. If you absolutely had no choice, you weren't to make any mistakes. That's why Seth had taken a trip to her office, to go find out if she was okay. Clearly, the rumours were justified.

**Seth**

Okay whoa. I'm sure if you fired him you had just cause, I was only interested. Why take my head off?

He questioned, deciding that it was time for the crap to stop. He knew her far too well to put up with her defence mechanisms. As terrified as he was of both Summer and Marissa, when it really mattered, he could stand up to them and make them talk to him. Or if not talk, then think about what they were doing. He sat down in front of the desk as the brunette sighed and buried her head in her hands.

**Marissa**

Seth, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just...well he's right; I'm being a bitch.

**Seth**

You're not being a bitch.

**Marissa**

Yes I am.

Dropping her hands down as she sighed again, with a little bit of a snigger being added in, she nodded as she looked across at Seth, who was looking back at her patiently. Right then is when the sting in her tail died, and the anger that she had been walking around with since Friday began to dissipate. Whether it would stay like that, she wasn't sure. But it was nice not to feel it, and it was nice not to aim it at Seth.

**Seth**

Okay, maybe just a little one. So what's on your mind?

**Marissa**

I dunno...a lot of stuff I guess. I just keep thinking that I'm not _doing_ enough. Or I'm lacking something, you know? Well, you probably don't you already have the wife and kid, big house, good job and cool car. Which is something I'll never have.

At seeing the tired, disillusioned look flickering in Marissa's eyes, Seth tipped his head sideways, worried for who he considered his sister. She was, indeed, his sister. Maybe not by law, but that's exactly what she was. They were bound together by that link, and they had been since they were teenagers. Since Marissa's parents decided that she wasn't really all that good enough to be their daughter.

**Seth**

Who says you won't?

**Marissa**

The United States government?

Marissa replied flatly, making Seth snort and flick his had dismissively.

**Seth**

Meh, what do they know? There are different definitions of marriage, and as long as it's real to you who can say it's not? As for kids, you barely need a man, that one's easy!

Marissa chuckled a little at Seth's antics, looking at him affectionately as he flicked his hand again, trying his best to cheer her up but by no means belittle her feelings. She took in a long breath, trying to clear her head a little.

**Marissa**

I just get sick of being a 2nd class citizen sometimes. It's hard to describe what that feels like.

**Seth**

Marissa, I already know. I wasn't popular in high school remember? I mean, I know you joined the 'un-cool' ranks when you came out but you still had an awful lot of respect. You were secretly revered for standing up for who you were and what you believed in. I was just the comic boy geek that got beaten up year after year. Obviously not on the same level, but it's a good analogy.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I know it is.

Okay so it might have been a completely different scenario, but Marissa knew where Seth was trying to come from. She knew he had felt like a 2nd class citizen for their entire time in school. She guessed he knew what that part felt like. And even though he couldn't grasp what she had been through, and how it made her feel, she respected him for trying and knowing a little bit of it.

**Seth**

This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with two particular girls, would it? Say the one that broke your heart and the one that never called you back?

**Marissa**

Gee, would you care to blunt that up for me?

She recoiled, grumpy that he had pinpointed the main, real reason that she was so wound up.

**Seth**

Sorry. You should call this Alex girl yourself.

**Marissa**

No way, I can't. She's clearly not interested.

**Seth**

How do you know?

**Marissa**

Erm...because she hasn't called me back?

**Seth**

That doesn't mean jack. Anything could have happened. Alex isn't Jesse Marissa, you should call her.

**Monday night**

**Marissa's house**

Marissa panted as she barrelled through her front door, pulling the headphones out of her ears as she stopped the music on her iPod and crossed the large expanse of her living room and rounded into the kitchen. Moving to the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of water, and as she shut the fridge door, stared at the piece of paper stuck to it by a magnet. Gingerly, she took it down, and carried it with her back to the living room where she flopped onto her couch, letting her head tilt back so she was staring up at the ceiling.

**Marissa**

Alex isn't Jesse.

Tilting her head back up straight again, she looked over to one of her shelves, gazing at a picture that still stood there, due to her inability to take it down. Her eyes scanned the features of her ex girlfriend, Jesse, who was hugging her from behind at a picnic. They were both smiling into the camera, care free and enthusiastic. It struck a bitter note in Marissa, every time she looked at it she was reminded of the pain Jesse had caused her. She was reminded of her callous nature, and the way she had walked out of her life.

**Marissa**

You really fucked me up, you know that? Great, now I'm talking to myself.

Sighing, Marissa put the water on the coffee table in front of her, deciding to give up for the day. Instead, she just wanted to curl up into bed and forget about all of this. Forget about all the trouble and pain she had been through, and forget about her fear of relationships. Most of all, she wanted to forget that feeling that Alex had caused her to have.

**Monday night **

**The Purple Heart**

The heavy beat of the music pumped through the very walls of the club, making everything vibrate rhythmically. Even from her office, Alex could hear the background noise of the club goers, their voices and cheers as they enjoyed their night in her club. She however, was not.

Alex had decided to take her mind off of certain things by throwing herself into her work. Which, of course, there was always a lot of. And being the manager, it really came down to her to sort it out. Her assistants sifted through everything she didn't need to, but at the end of the day, if she wanted to be the hands on manager, there was still a lot of paperwork flying her way. So she buckled down and did her job.

Now though, as her ass went numb and her limbs threatened to stiffen so much they dropped off, she decided it was time for a break. She groaned a little as she stretched out, and headed toward the office door. Not leaving behind her paperwork though, she picked some of it up to travel down to the bar with.

As she came out, Alex stood at the railing of the walkway, looking down proudly as she watched everything for a moment. The atmosphere was thick and raw, just how it usually ended up. That's how she liked it. Bodies were weaving to the music, people were making out, drinking, sitting and talking, generally having a good time. It meant she was doing something right.

Snapping out of the daze, the blonde walked along the upper walkway, and quickly descended the steps. Once again narrowing her eyes at the paperwork, Alex began to weave in and out of the few people stood near the bottom of the steps, and walked toward the bar. Ducking under the gate, she smiled at one of the staff as she entered the circular unit, not noticing the girl sitting at the quieter part. She didn't notice the dark haired girl lean into the bar a little bit, her eyes raking over her as she not so subtly checked her out.

**Sam**

Hey, you own this place right?

The girl asked, trying to gain Alex's attention. It didn't work. The blonde was still engrossed in her work as she simultaneously reached into the little fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

**Alex**

Not if you want to complain I don't.

The girl, Sam, smirked devilishly, her dark chocolate eyes boring into Alex with her intentions running unashamedly through them.

**Sam**

Now why would I want to complain? That would suggest this place sucked, and it doesn't.

**Alex**

Thanks.

Alex unscrewed the top to the bottle, and took a drink, again, without looking at who was talking to her. Right now, she really didn't care that much. She was in work mode, her brain had shut off to the goings on around her, like it so often did when she had to work when the club was in full swing.

**Sam**

I like what you're wearing. You look hot.

**Alex**

I try.

**Sam**

Do you like my outfit?

The sultry voice questioned, making Alex change her mind enough to glance up. She was about to respond, but stopped short as her penetrating blue eyes roamed over the dark haired girl who was smirking at her invitingly. At that moment, she lost all interest in her paperwork. At that moment she lost interest in just about everything, other than the gorgeous brunette and the feeling she provoked inside of her.

**Alex**

Yes, I do like your outfit. I like it a lot.

Alex responded, now paying her full attention to the rather scantily clad chick that knew exactly how to turn people on. Slowly, she put her paperwork on the shelf, smirking mischievously at the girl in front of her. Watched as the brunette cleared her throat and leant forward over the bar, licking her lips lightly.

**Sam**

So, where do you go if you want to explain to the owner just how much you like her bar?

Sam wondered, leaning a little closer so that she and Alex were only a couple of inches apart.

**Alex**

Well it's a little noisy out here. Maybe the office would be more...desirable.

**Sam**

Hhmm, sounds good...

Leaning forward again, Sam teased Alex into a slow but heated kiss. After a moment or so, the blonde pulled back a little, eyes ablaze.

**Alex**

You still wanna come up?

**Sam**

Hell yeah. Just one thing, I don't do anything serious.

Sam warned, not having to explain what she meant. Alex already knew. They could see it in each others eyes, this was nothing serious. This was just going to be an enjoyable fling that they would both be satisfied from, and they wouldn't have to worry about later. This was about scratching an itch.

**Alex**

Relax baby, I'm not looking for anything more than what'll happen in that office.

**Sam**

Then lead the way.

Without further comment, Alex abandoned her paperwork and ducked back under the gate, smirking seductively as she came face to face with Sam. She took the other girls hand, leading her slowly over to the stairs and up back toward her office.

This was exactly what she needed. This was her thing. No emotional connections. She needed to blow the cobwebs out of her head, and getting laid was the perfect way to do it. She needed Marissa out of her head, and the thoughts that had come along with her. How had she entertained, even for the briefest of times, the idea of actually committing to someone? Because that's what Marissa had invoked inside of her. Every time she had looked into those blue eyes of her, she had seen future. And that was always something Alex had shied away from. She was too screwed up for that, getting back to her normal self would help.

It was maybe thirty minutes or so later that the young blonde appeared out of her office again. Sam had left about five minutes earlier, a smirk covering her lips like she was the cat that scored the scream. Alex supposed she was in a way. Albeit sour cream. Either way, she had given Sam what she wanted. She had lived up to her expectations, lived up to the reputation she had earned herself over the years. Alex was well aware what people said about her. How she was known as the womaniser, a lady killer. She didn't really care. She was one. In some ways, it made it easier. They never wanted more than a mind blowing fuck from her, which she always gave them. They never expected anything more from her, so it was easy to keep herself detached because she never had cause to offer it.

**Alex**

Ry, what're you doing out here?

Alex blinked, shocked as she almost walked into her brother standing on the walkway by her office door. She was so lost in her own thoughts, the left over sensations, that she hadn't seen him until the last minute. She had stopped dead, almost falling as she did.

**Ryan**

I came to see how you were doing, 'cos I thought you were still pretty bummed out about that chick's number.

Ryan replied coldly, his accusing, annoyed eyes boring into her. Enough so that she cleared her throat and lowered her head slightly as she rubbed the back of her neck.

**Alex**

Oh. I am.

**Ryan**

Seems like it.

As Ryan nodded in the direction that Sam left in, Alex shot her head back up defensively, glaring at him as she shrugged.

**Alex**

That was a little bit of fun. Don't look so shocked, it's not as though I'm a damn saint.

**Ryan**

I'm not shocked at that. I just thought you liked this other girl.

**Alex**

I did.

Alex snapped, beginning to feel cornered by her own brother. Why was he pushing this? Why couldn't he see that she just wasn't made for anything else? Fucking the pain away was just the best option for everyone. Everyone but him, it seemed. He was intent on shoving some moral guilt down her throat, and she just didn't want to fight him on it. She had just spent half an hour fucking the images of Marissa out of her head, and here he was reminding her again.

**Ryan**

Then why are you doing this again?

Ryan demanded, raising his voice. He hated seeing his sister like this. He hated the way she dealt with her issues, her past. Fine, having fun was one thing. She could sleep with who she wanted to, she was a big girl. But when she used it as a defence mechanism, or a tool to hurt herself, he had an issue with it. She was his sister, and he wanted the best for her. And he was also at a loss as to why she didn't trust herself to aim for more. She was such a special person, but she refused to see it in herself. Or let anyone else see it.

**Alex**

Doing what?

**Ryan**

Sleeping with random girls? No emotional connections. I thought this was over. I thought maybe from the look in your eye someone had finally gotten through.

**Alex**

Yeah well so did I.

She yelled, surprised at herself for saying it. Did she really believe that? Did she really feel that Marissa had somehow, in the short time they had spent together, penetrated part of her wall? She really did, and that's why it hurt so much right now. No one had ever done that.

**Ryan**

Yet here you are, doing what comes naturally.

**Alex**

Back off Ryan. You're the one that cut off my chances with Marissa, okay? Remember that? You. It's not like I have much damn choice in the matter. She doesn't want to see me, otherwise she would have called. I'm not going to swear off women because of it, okay? It's my life so why don't you let me god damn live it my way?

Pushing him aside abruptly, Alex tore down the walkway, not looking back to give Ryan a second glance.


	4. The Reality Check

**Chapter Four – The Reality Check **

**Tuesday morning**

**CCR**

**Marissa**

Hey, what's up?

Having been pulled out of the daze she was in, concentrating on doing her work on her computer, Marissa blinked as she looked up as she heard a knock on her office door. She had been in a world of her own, and as she came around she felt like she had been sitting at her desk for hours, going about her duties. She felt a little lethargic, so the interruption by Summer was welcomed.

**Summer**

Hey. I need that Musgrave file, if you have it?

Summer replied softly, stepping into her friends office slowly.

**Marissa**

Yeah sure, just a second.

Summer watched as Marissa nodded, finishing up what she had been doing on her computer before sighing lightly as she stood up and walked over to the row of file cabinets on the far wall. As always, Summer took in Marissa's general demeanour and atmosphere around her. The room was thick and still, probably influenced by Marissa's daze. She herself, Summer noticed, was heavy with thought. Subconscious thought maybe, but she spotted it none the less. She knew when Marissa was struggling with something, and now was one of those times.

**Summer**

Cohen told me about yesterday.

She broached softly, not wanting to get Seth into trouble, or make Marissa defensive, but also knowing she couldn't stand idly by and watch Marissa withdraw into her problems again.

**Marissa**

He did huh?

**Summer**

Yeah. So, did you call Alex back?

Marissa flinched subtly, grasping the file she was looking for and pulling it out. Turning around, she offered it out to Summer, and also offered her a tight smile.

**Marissa**

Yeah, but I didn't get an answer.

**Summer**

Liar liar pants on fire.

Summer, ever so maturely, countered, knowing full well Marissa had done no such thing. She could have said it a little differently, but she didn't want to piss her friend off. Otherwise she would get absolutely nothing out of her.

**Marissa**

Okay fine, I didn't.

**Summer**

Why not?

**Marissa**

You know why.

Marissa replied softly, barely looking at her best friend for a couple of seconds before she looked down, obviously deflated. Her voice had softened with vulnerability, the weight of her worries clearly carrying through it too. She felt pathetic.

Summer sighed softly, taking the file that Marissa was still holding, and flipping it onto the desk. Then, she moved forward and pulled the taller woman in and hugged her tightly, comfortingly.

**Summer**

Listen to me; you can't believe that every girl you meet is going to turn out like

Jesse.

**Marissa**

I know...but...I just don't think I can handle getting hurt again. Not by anyone. It's not that I think Alex will turn out like her, I'm just afraid of anything that could damage me. I've had enough of that. After my parents, Theresa, Jesse...my entire life actually. How am I supposed to prepare myself for more of it?

She wondered, tears stinging her powerful blue eyes, causing them to glisten. This wasn't just about Alex anymore. Sure, having her not call had stung, quite a lot. For whatever reason she had felt an instant connection with the girl. But this wasn't just about her. It was everything. It was realising that she had felt something for someone that wasn't just a one night intention. And it was realising that she wanted to move on from the heartache she had suffered, but felt cemented down in it.

**Summer**

Have you ever entertained the notion that Alex may not hurt you like that? Maybe it'll work out, you don't know until you try.

**Marissa**

Everyone hurts everybody Summer.

Marissa replied bitterly, brushing the tears out of her eyes with her hand. It was a perfectly true statement to her, considering that's exactly what she had learnt from early on.

**Summer**

So what do you plan to do? Stick your head in the sand? Remove yourself from possible happiness? Because then that's you hurting yourself Coop, not anyone else.

**Marissa**

I can't do it.

**Summer**

Yes you can. You're Marissa Cooper. You're a fighter. And you're amazing. You have no idea how good it was to see that sparkle back in your eyes when Miss Purple accosted you. I was so relieved to see you like that again. I want that for you, desperately.

**Marissa**

I'm trying Summer. I really am.

**Tuesday morning - Alex's house**

Ryan hesitated outside of Alex's door for a moment, before summoning up the courage to tap on it quietly, but loud enough to be heard inside. Knowing he wouldn't get a response, he pushed it open a little, and leaned in a little bit. Holding out the coffee he had brought her, as he kept his eyes firmly clamped shut; he wiggled the mug in hopes that it would do something to dispel his sister's bad mood.

**Ryan**

Is it safe?

Alex, who was still wrapped up in her bed cover, lifted her head up to look at Ryan. She had been awake all ready, but she hadn't even heard him come in. She had been too lost in her own thoughts to hear much of anything. Until his hopeful, guilty voice had broken through her reverie. Rolling her eyes, she sighed lightly.

**Alex**

That depends. Safe that you won't see anything you shouldn't, or safe that I'm not going to hit you?

**Ryan**

I'm actually more scared of seeing anything I shouldn't, despite knowing how hard you hit.

**Alex**

You can come in at your own risk then.

She replied curtly, pulling herself into a comfortable sitting position as Ryan entered her room more confidently. She watched him cross the room, smiling weakly as he offered out the mug of coffee toward her.

**Ryan**

Peace offering?

Looking at him for a moment, Alex debated whether to let her brother off the hook. They didn't fight all that often, and she didn't like being out of sorts with him. But she was also still stinging from his words last night. Probably because what he had said had been true. She could always trust Ryan to be brutally honest with her, however much it hurt. But she knew she needed that. If she couldn't admit stuff herself, Ryan would always force it out. She needed him for that. Which is why she couldn't really be mad at him. He hadn't said it in spite; he was only worried about her. So, she nodded lightly and accepted the coffee, watching as he sat on a chair not far from the bed.

**Ryan**

Look, I'm sorry for what I said last night. It was...

**Alex**

The truth.

He looked up at her quickly, frowning in confusion.

**Ryan**

What?

**Alex**

You didn't say anything that isn't true Ryan. I just didn't like hearing it.

**Ryan**

I was a little harsh.

Alex nodded slowly in agreement, but gave him an encouraging look. She didn't want him to feel bad about this. And she didn't want him to stop trying to look after her. He was the only person that had done that without condition. She didn't want him to stop. Just like she would never stop looking out for him.

**Alex**

Yeah, but I needed it. I know I use sex as a defence mechanism, or weapon, or a safety net, pick any or all of the above. I just...I guess I'm screwed up.

She muttered the last part around her coffee mug, resigned to the fact that it was true. It was the only real explanation she had about her behaviour. About her approach to life, problems, issues. About her wayward thinking. She just couldn't drag herself out from a darkness that had swallowed her some time ago.

**Ryan**

You're not screwed up Alex. You've been through stuff.

**Alex**

You have too.

She shot back, not finding it much of an excuse. Ryan had been through his own share of crap too, and he wasn't like her. He was a good guy. He didn't treat women as disposable objects, he was a good Father, he worked hard. Sometimes she wished she was a little more like him.

**Ryan**

Yeah, but not your kinda stuff. You're getting there. I mean, look what you've accomplished for yourself so far. You're putting the pieces back together.

He insisted, pinning her with a stare that she couldn't look away from. He really wasn't going to let her get away with thinking she was screwed up. He wasn't going to let her forget what she had indeed, accomplished so far. She guessed she worked hard too. The club required an awful lot of hard work to be put into it, which she did. And she guessed that she wasn't that bad of a person. She was a good boss, and a good friend. She tended to keep people at arms length but she was always there for them. She still loved her friends, and stood by them. And she knew she was a good sister. And a good Aunt. It was just her deal with women and commitment issues. The rest of it came from inside herself. But she knew that whatever she had to be proud of, Ryan had helped her get there.

**Alex**

Thanks. I erm...I couldn't do it without you.

**Ryan**

Well then you don't have to worry do you? 'Cos I'm not going anywhere.

Alex snickered, playfully shooting a teasing glare at her brother.

**Alex**

God you're a sap!

**Ryan**

Yeah, yeah! So, what's up with this girl thing? What's her name again?

**Alex**

Marissa. And I don't know. It's not as though I know her. I ran into her, literally. Collectively we must have spent under an hour together.

**Ryan**

But you can't stop thinking about her?

**Alex**

No.

Ryan sighed lightly, sitting back in the chair as he ran a hand through his blond hair.

**Ryan**

I'm sorry. Part of this is my fault.

**Alex**

No, it's not. It was an accident. I'm sorry for pushing it in your face last night.

**Ryan**

S'okay. We good?

**Alex**

Yeah, we good.

**Friday, early afternoon**

**Newport, Orange County **

**Cohen residence**

Marissa had decided she needed to get away from the city and get a little perspective again. Leaving work early, she had headed home to change and pack a small, weekend bag.

She hadn't really thought about anything, instead just enjoying the drive that took her toward Newport. She let the top down on her car, letting the wind sweep through her hair. She listened to the radio happily, sometimes singing along or tapping on her steering wheel. Already, as she left everything behind her, she began to feel better. She just moved easily through the roads she knew like the back of her hand, enjoying the scenery around her.

That was until she started to really get into Newport. It was still as beautiful as ever of course, that never changed. But the pang of nerves that twisted inside of her stomach as she got further and further into town reminded her of what she had ran from when she had left for L.A. Still, she continued onward, oddly finding the nerves and the pain from her memories cathartic.

Reaching her intended destination, Marissa parked in front of the large Cohen house, and stepped out of her car. Pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, she looked down to her old house. The house she lived in when her family had still been a family. She watched as the family that lived their now hurried about before getting into the car. Both parents and children were smiling happily, looking excited. Before she knew it, they were gone. Marissa just turned away, grabbing her bag and heading for the door. Pulling out her keys, she unlocked it and stepped in, of course, finding it empty. She already knew no one was home from the lack of cars in the driveway.

Moving into the kitchen, Marissa headed straight for the coffee pot and prepared it before switching it on. Then, slowly, she opened the patio doors and stared out over to the pool house. Like every other time she came to visit and saw it for the first time, she felt a whoosh of emotion surge through her. It always unsettled her at first, making her feel a little nauseous in the pit of her stomach. That was until she let it subside, pushing the emotions into place so that she could actually function. Sighing deeply, she stepped out of the main house and walked across to the pool house. Opening the door, she stepped inside.

It looked exactly the same as the last time she was here. There was some of her stuff still on the shelves. Books, objects, even pictures. She smiled faintly, running her fingers over a framed picture of herself and Summer, laughing as they played in the edge of the water on the beach. There was one of Seth and herself, one that Sandy had taken without them knowing as they had been talking as they were getting ready for graduation. Then, she picked up a photo in a silver frame, eyes twinkling as she studied it affectionately. She looked at the four, happy faces, remembering the party they were at that night. Seth, Summer, Theresa and herself smiled into the camera, all their smiles reaching their eyes. Marissa smiled now, as she ran her thumb over the image of Theresa, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Sniffling, Marissa placed the picture back gently, glancing at the others. There were a couple more, one with Kirsten and Sandy in it too. Then, she picked the next one up too, smiling at it fondly. This one was just her and Theresa. They were on the beach, arms wrapped around one another lovingly, both smiling as they watched the sun go down. Again, Marissa couldn't help but touch the photo, running her finger over her ex girlfriends image as she looked at it fondly. This time the tears did roll out softly, as she thought about how happy they had been at that point. Then she sighed, putting the photo down again and wiping her eyes as she left the pool house. By the time she got back into the kitchen, and got herself a cup out, the coffee was ready. She poured herself some, and then moved to sit at the counter, sipping at her drink silently.

**Sandy**

Marissa, this is a surprise. You never said you were coming down.

Having been lost in thought, the brunette hadn't heard Sandy and Kirsten come home. Looking up, she grinned widely as she stood up, eager to move over and give both of them an affectionate hug.

**Marissa**

It was last minute decision. It's _so_ good to see you.

**Kirsten**

Awww honey it's good to see you too. We've missed you. Are you staying for dinner or is this a fly by visit?

Pulling back after giving Kirsten her hug, Marissa shrugged sheepishly with a lopsided smirk.

**Marissa**

Actually I was intending to hang out over the weekend.

**Sandy**

Well that's great. I hope you're hungry; Kirsten's become quite the cook you know?

Sandy enthused, smiling in his normal charming way. Marissa looked at the fair haired woman, lifting an interested and amused eyebrow as she smirked. Albeit rather suspiciously. Kirsten had never been the domestic goddess. Marissa had a litany of memories of both Sandy and Seth trying to make her leave the kitchen area, as to not ruin anything.

**Marissa**

Really?

**Kirsten**

Well all my kids flew the coup; I had to have some kind of hobby outside of work!

Kirsten explained, making Marissa laugh lightly.

**Marissa**

Well I can help. As long as it doesn't involve anything to do with the food, I can help!

Marissa had sat in her previous position, catching Sandy and Kirsten up on the latest from L.A as they worked together to prepare dinner. The conversation was light, with a lot of jokes and innuendo flying around. It soothed the young woman, helped her to forget the weight in her stomach for a while.

After eating dinner, the three of them settled down into the sofas with a coffee as the conversation turned more serious now. Marissa explained to them about her current dilemma about Alex, telling them how she was scared of calling her. Also, about what she had been feeling lately, as though she couldn't seem to move on and get on with her life after what she had been through.

**Sandy**

Summer's right sweetheart, you can't lock yourself away.

**Marissa**

I don't know.

Marissa countered, seriously thinking about becoming some sort of reclusive weirdo with cable TV and lots of cats. She could deal with that. At least she wouldn't have to fight so hard with herself then.

**Kirsten**

I know you've been through a lot Marissa, but closing yourself off from life isn't the way to save yourself from more pain. I know it seems like the best way after what Jesse did, but I swear to you it's not.

**Marissa**

I just don't know if I can trust anyone again. Every time I do...well, I end up getting the hurt. The only people that haven't hurt me like that is Summer, Seth, Kaitlin and you guys. And Theresa, although it's not as though we didn't have our problems.

She pointed out, remembering the chaos that had been her and Theresa's relationship. It had been so hard, and so complicated at times. It was never due to a lack of love. That had been there in abundance. It was everything else. It was life. They had been on again off again. Marissa had tried to push her away when she didn't know how to deal with her feelings; Theresa had the tendency to be secretive about her past, and the tendency to push her too hard. But they had still loved one another.

**Sandy**

If she was here she'd be telling you the same thing we are.

**Marissa**

If she were here we probably wouldn't be needing to have this discussion.

A pang of grief shot through Marissa's stomach, suddenly making her feel lonely and cold. It was hard, moving on. And she couldn't help but think briefly that if it weren't for the accident, things would have turned out so much differently.

**Kirsten**

She loved you so much. She wouldn't have wanted this for you. I know how hard it is to trust people, but sometimes you have to take a risk to be happy. Sometimes it's just what it takes.

There was a heavy, silent pause as Marissa looked down thoughtfully. Her mind ran over everything that had happened here.

**Marissa**

Mom, does…does Julie ever ask about me?

Looking up again at the people she had come to think of her parents quite some time ago, she saw them grimace unhappily. She couldn't recall at what point she had started calling them Mom and Dad. No one could really. It had just seemed like the naturalist thing in the world. Family wasn't always blood related. Family is what you made. And Marissa knew without a doubt that the Cohen's were her family.

**Kirsten**

I'm sorry honey.

**Marissa**

S'okay, I didn't expect another answer.

**Sandy**

We really don't have much to do with her or Caleb.

**Marissa**

S'okay, I know who my real parents are.

**L.A. **

**Friday evening**

**Kelly residence**

Alex read softly from the children's book in her hands, propped up on the edge of Holly's bed with the little blonde girl cuddled up into her side. She stopped reading, noticing the familiar sounds of sleep, and looked down at her niece. She couldn't help but smile lovingly as she looked at the slumbering girl, slowly putting the book on the floor as her other hand moved to run through a strand of Holly's hair. After a moment, Alex gently pried herself out from under her, standing up and putting Holly's arms and legs into the bed properly, before covering her up. Leaning down, she placed a soft kiss on the girl's head, smiling at her before turning around and leaving the room, pulling the door until it was almost closed.

Hoping down the stairs, Alex went into the kitchen and pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge and then opened the side door in the kitchen that opened up into the garage. She stood there, watching Ryan for a moment as he was lost in his work.

The garage was home to the work bench and all the stuff that Ryan used for his carpentry. Alex was happy to let him use the whole garage, since she never used it anyway. At least someone was. Currently, he was sanding down a piece of wood skilfully. She looked around at the other pieces of wood. There were some chairs that he had already made, and she looked over them, thinking how beautiful they were. When it came to making things, Ryan had a lot of talent.

She watched as he ceased his sanding, stepping back a little bit to scrutinise his work. Just like her, he was his own biggest critic.

**Alex**

Those are beautiful.

Startled by the break in the silence and the voice behind him, Ryan spun around quickly to see his sister stood at the doorway. As he realised it was her, he smiled both warmly and appreciatively and accepted the beer from Alex as she walked over to him.

**Ryan**

Thanks. Got a couple of dining set orders.

**Alex**

You know, I can help you start a real business.

Alex offered, for what must have been the millionth time. She could tell when someone had a gift for something, and Ryan did. If he just accepted her offer, he could turn his talent into a great business. As of yet, he only took jobs on the side. He put in his hours at his construction job, and then completed his real passion of carpentry afterward for the few people who saw or knew his work. But he had always rejected her offer, like he was doing now, vehemently shaking his head.

**Ryan**

I don't want you to do that.

**Alex**

Why not?

**Ryan**

'Cos it's not your job to look after me. I should be able to do this without any help.

**Alex**

Ryan, I didn't do it without help remember? Someone helped me get to where I am, so why don't you let me help you?

Alex strained, reminding him that she hadn't accomplished everything on her own. Actually, she had been beyond lucky. She had received the help that got her started to her career where and when she least expected it. So why did Ryan insist on doing it on his own? Was it a guy thing? Or was it just a Ryan thing?

**Ryan**

Because I don't want to be a burden to you.

It was a Ryan thing. That was definitely a Ryan issue, being proud and unwilling to depend on her to achieve what he wanted to. She felt like smacking him, considering all the help he had given her over the years. All the things he had done, and sacrificed for her. He had, quite literally, saved her.

**Alex**

Not even an issue. First of all, you're my brother. Second of all, you saved my life Ryan. In a couple more ways than you think you did. So let me help you sort out yours.

**Ryan**

Okay.

Grinning widely, relieved that she had finally gotten through to him, she leant forward and hugged him. When it came to being stubborn, she guessed they both had something to boast about. They were as bad as one another. She was just glad that she had something to offer him. Sure, she was a good sister. But she actually had something substantial to offer him, and he had finally seen that taking the opportunity wasn't him depending on her.


	5. The Second Chance

**Chapter Five – The Second Chance**

**One week later **

**Friday **

**8:30am**

Marissa began to slow her pace down gradually, moving to one side of the running path so she didn't get in the way of anyone else. As she stopped, she bent forward slightly, propping her hands on her thighs as she panted heavily.

Even though it was only 8:30 in the morning, the sun was already quite warm and getting hotter by the minute. There were no clouds in the sky to protect them from the suns strong beams, but there was still a fresh, morning breeze that flitted about.

Deciding that she needed a drink of water, Marissa stood up straight again and began to walk slowly toward the vendor ahead of her. She looked at some of the other runners either having a rest or talking, or drinking the waters or juices they'd just bought from Lenny the vendor guy. Then, her eyes focused in on someone she hadn't actually been looking for. Alex.

For a moment, as Alex's back was turned to her, Marissa felt herself panic. It hadn't even occurred to her that she might bump into the blonde chef again, and as she had set out for her run earlier this morning she hadn't even been thinking about that possibility. Now that she was faced with the situation, her mind froze and her body went rigid.

Almost without thinking about it, Marissa turned around again, prepared to walk away and ignore everything all her loved ones had told her this past week. And also ignore what her mind was now telling her to do; now it had thawed out. She wasn't ready for this, she couldn't handle it. Also, there was a hefty fear of rejection there, and she didn't want to face it. But something made her.

Clearing her throat, Marissa found herself turning back around. A couple of other runners looked at her oddly, but she didn't really have time to notice. Alex wasn't going to be standing with her back turned forever. So, taking a deep sigh as she tried to compose herself, she took a few steps forward, her entire being tingling in anticipation.

**Marissa**

Alex.

Turning around, Alex was shocked to see Marissa standing not far ahead of her, offering a weak and uncertain smile. The swill of emotion running through her made Alex pause for a moment, wondering what it was exactly that made her feel like this around someone she didn't know. But she really couldn't stop and analyse that right now. Instead, she smiled nervously as the butterflies flapped around her stomach, and ventured forward over to the lanky brunette so that she could talk to her.

**Alex**

Hey. How are you?

Marissa nodded, smiling tightly and looking nervous. In contrast to the air between them the last time they had seen one another, it was now slightly oppressive and uncomfortable.

**Marissa**

Good. I'm...good. You?

**Alex**

Yeah, I'm good too.

Both girls began to look around awkwardly. Alex played with the cold water bottle she had just bought in her hands, as Marissa rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the patch of grass she was stood on.

**Alex**

Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call. My brother washed your number.

Alex explained in a nutshell, flailing a hand and hoping that Marissa didn't find it the lamest excuse in the world. Just because it was true, didn't mean it would sound true to her. Alex was well aware of how contrived it sounded. Like she was some schoolgirl that wanted to get out of handing her homework in. But as she saw the look in Marissa's eyes when she looked up sharply, she knew Marissa didn't think she had fabricated the excuse to get out of calling her. In fact, she looked like she was chastising herself for something. She just didn't know it was because she had assume the worst of her.

**Marissa**

Oh...

**Alex**

Yeah.

**Marissa**

I still have yours. I just...

Marissa began weakly, wondering how she was about to explain her own reason for not calling. She couldn't tell Alex how she had made her feel, because that was too much. And she couldn't tell her that she had been too scared to call her, because that was too lame. She was a grown up.

**Alex**

Hey, it's okay. I probably freaked you out. I shouldn't have assumed you were into me. Or girls, for that matter.

**Marissa**

I am.

Marissa blurted all too quickly, not caring about keeping her cool, calm exterior. She narrowed her eyes a little as Alex looked back at her, bordering between being happy and cautious.

**Alex**

Which one?

Smiling, Marissa felt the air between them rapidly becoming easier. So she knew Alex was into her, which was a good start. And it was quite cute that she thought she had been overly forward last week.

**Marissa**

Into girls. And you.

The truthful admission provoked a smile on Alex's face that made Marissa's heart dip slightly. Knowing that Alex was that pleased made her feel good, and somewhat more confident about the entire situation. Maybe Alex had been feeling the same way as she had? Somehow, it didn't seem that far fetched. They had shared an instant connection, and deep down they had both known it. It made Marissa a little less nervous about everything.

**Alex**

Seriously?

**Marissa**

Yeah. I didn't call because I was too scared to. I thought...

**Alex**

You thought I wasn't interested. God this is crazy!

Alex laughed, flailing lightly and rolling her eyes at the absurdity of the situation. All of the fretting for nothing. Though, it would have been a hell of a lot easier if Ryan had never washed the number.

**Marissa**

Alex I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let my fears control me, I should have called you. In all honesty, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

**Alex**

Me either.

Marissa narrowed her eyes playfully, feeling now as though a weight had been lifted from her stomach. She put all her bigger picture fears on hold for now. All she wanted to concentrate on now was the smaller picture. She had Alex right here, right now, and she was unwilling to let that chance of getting to know her, getting to connect to her, slip by. Everything else could wait for now.

**Marissa**

You haven't been able to stop thinking about yourself?

**Alex**

Shut up!

**Marissa**

Do you think we can try this whole thing again? Though, without the personal injury part?

**Alex**

I dunno, will you ever let me live that down?

Alex smiled, watching Marissa pretend to think about it, over exaggerating as she hummed and squinted off into the air as she 'thought'. The brunette was simply breath taking, and unbeknown to Alex, she was having similar thoughts as her. She was concentrating on the here and now, and intending to deal with the rest of it all later.

**Marissa**

I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know about that one!

**Alex**

Ah ha! So one of us has to officially do this. Marissa, do you want to go out sometime, on a date?

**Marissa**

I would really like that.

**Alex**

Great. Okay, I'm gunna need your number again.

Clearing her throat, Marissa reached into her back pocket and pulled out a very official, smart looking business card and offered it out toward the blonde.

**Marissa**

Here's my card. It has all my numbers and my email on it.

Alex raised an eyebrow, reaching out and taking the card gently, as though if she gripped it too hard it would fall apart. Still, she was at a loss as to why anyone would bring along a business card to go running with.

**Alex**

You carry your business cards around when you go running?

Shrugging, Marissa wiggled her finger in the air, indicating the park around them.

**Marissa**

There's a lot of writer types in the park!

Alex looked down on the card, reading over it quickly. There was a logo at the top, followed by CCR Publishing. Then, in the middle was Marissa's name, and under it said Chief Executive Officer. After that, in finer print, were indeed her numbers and email.

**Alex**

CCR Publishing, what's that?

**Marissa**

It's a business I set up with my friends. Cohen, Cooper and Roberts. We deal with a lot of dark literature. Intense stuff. Oh, and comics. Banshee Comics, if you've ever heard of us.

**Alex**

Oh my god, yeah I have. My brother and I are into comics. We love your stuff.

**Marissa**

Really? Well, it's Seth that does that stuff mainly.

Marissa offered, as Alex looked at the card for a moment longer before looking back up again.

**Alex**

You know, I'm pretty sick of running. You wanna go grab a coffee or something?

**Marissa**

Yeah, that'd be great.

**Friday evening**

**Bar**

For the past ten minutes, Marissa had been gladly filling Seth in on the situation with Alex and their unexpected coffee date. The bar they were in had a friendly vibe running through it, and the music wasn't so loud that you had to yell over it. People were just there to have a good time, and be comfortable in their surroundings. They often came here, when they did their nights out. Just like Marissa and Summer had their nights out together, Marissa and Seth had theirs too. A little brother and sister bonding, as it were.

Currently, they were settled into a smaller booth, just to the side of the bar. Their table had already collected a couple of empty glasses each, along with the ones they were making their way through. Seth had been listening and nodding encouragingly, as Marissa told him about her chance encounter in the running park, and how glad she was that she had finally bitten the bullet and decided to try and move on from past events.

**Seth**

So you had a good time, right?

Seth wondered, not having heard enough about the actual coffee date. Although the sparkle in Marissa's eyes spoke volumes.

**Marissa**

Yeah, it was great. We talked about loads of stuff. It was like we'd known each other for years, we have tons in common.

**Seth**

Well that's great; I'm really stoked for you.

**Marissa**

Thanks. And thanks for giving me a good pep talk. I guess I really needed it.

**Seth**

No problem, I like playing the brother role.

He flicked a hand casually, knowing how serious she was but still playing it down a little bit. For some reason, he didn't want to completely take on board thanks, because he didn't need any thanks. He was going to be there for her in whatever situation. She needed need to feel as though she had to say or do anything to thank him.

**Marissa**

You weren't playing Seth. You know that's what you are.

Marissa replied honestly. After everything that had happened, she did feel as close to him as a sister would. Perhaps even more so. It was just standard in her thoughts now. Seth was her brother; it had been that way for a long time. Like she knew it was like that for Seth, he felt the same way.

**Seth**

Yeah, I know. So what happens next?

**Marissa**

Dinner and a movie tomorrow night. She has the night off work.

Seth rubbed his chin, thinking over dramatically until he gave one nod of approval and dropped his hand to pick up his drink.

**Seth**

Dinner and a movie, neat choice. Simple yet intimate.

**Marissa**

Yeah, it'll give us chance to talk some more.

**Seth**

And get down in the back rows of the cinema!

Marissa couldn't help but laugh as she smacked Seth's arm, though not tossing the thought completely out of her mind. She just smiled and rolling her eyes, sipping her raspberry daiquiri through her straw as he rubbed his arm.

**Seth**

Ow! You and Summer hit really hard!

**Marissa**

Well, Summer is scary and has rage blackouts.

The brunette responded matter of factly, well aware of just how hard Summer could hit.

**Seth**

What's your excuse?

**Marissa**

Fending off guys and _really _butch women!

Seth nodded, frowning a little as an awkward look began to cover his face.

**Seth**

'Kay…hey you remember Anna?

Marissa quirked an eyebrow, confused at the sudden change of subject. The alcohol combined with the thoughts spinning through her head lately, caused a slow reaction in her, and frowned as she came up blank.

**Marissa**

Anna?

**Seth**

Yeah. From school? Blonde, kinda small. Funny, into comic books...

As the image of Anna Stern flashed into her mind, Marissa bugged her eyes out. Of course she remembered Anna, how could she not? It had been her that had unintentionally thrown a major spanner in the cogs of Summer and Seth's relationship back in high school.

**Marissa**

That Anna? The girl you chose over Summer Anna?

**Seth**

Yeah her. She called me the other day.

Seth tried to say it flippantly, but his voice betrayed him and Marissa knew better anyway. Quickly, she leaned forward slightly, as though they were discussing something that was top secret and entailed the safety of the Earth.

**Marissa**

What? Why?

**Seth**

Well mainly to catch up. She's doing some work in L.A now. Wants to talk about a business deal too.

**Marissa**

Have you told Summer?

**Seth**

No.

Marissa sighed, exasperated, sitting back into the booth again. This was so like him. Turning something into a major deal. He would never be in so much trouble if he just told Summer things when they cropped up, instead of making things worse by trying to fix them himself.

**Marissa**

Seth!

**Seth**

I know but I don't know what to tell her.

**Marissa**

What do you mean? What else is there to tell her?

She demanded suspiciously, seriously hoping that there wasn't more to this story. It wasn't that she didn't trust Seth, or thought he would ever cheat on Summer. She did and he wouldn't. But trouble seemed to find him like nothing else on the planet.

**Seth**

Nothing, I swear. I just don't want her to misinterpret the situation. If you can remember back to those wonderfully tense times in our lives, things weren't so great between Summer and I then.

**Marissa**

Oh, you mean 'cos you went after her and when she finally wanted you, you chose Anna?

She reminded him pointedly, adopting an unimpressed tone as though it was happening now rather than then. She had nothing against Anna; in fact she had always kind of liked her. The girl had a fire and spunk about her, and she was friendly and honest. But Summer was her best friend, and seeing her miserable over the fact that Seth had suddenly dumped his interest for her to be with Anna, it hadn't been fun. Plus, it had been a bad time all around too. Her relationship with Theresa had been bad around then, not to mention the major trauma that were her parents. She really hated remembering high school.

**Seth**

Yeah pretty much!

Sighing as she blinked the memories out of her mind, she looked back up at Seth as she picked up her drink, shrugging softly with a sympathetic and supportive look.

**Marissa**

Well, I think you should tell her. It'll be worse if you don't.

**Seth**

Yeah, you're right. I'll tell her tomorrow...

As she listened to Seth, her eyes couldn't help but notice a familiar face by the bar. As panic hit her stomach, she ducked her head automatically, trying to turn away from the crowd getting drinks near them, using her drink to try and shield her face. By this time, Seth had let his sentence fade, instead turning his attention to her hiding behind a drink.

**Seth**

Marissa what the hell are you doing?

He wondered, all too loudly for Marissa's liking. She flicked her eyes up to him, alarm shooting through them, and shushed him quietly but harshly.

**Marissa**

_Quiet_!

She ordered, still cowering behind her drink. Seth froze immediately, sensing the urgency in the brunette. Still frozen, he looked around with his eyes, wondering what the hell was going on. Marissa was kind of quirky, but this was downright insane.

**Seth**

Why do we have to be quiet?

**Marissa**

There's a girl at the bar and I don't want her to see me.

Marissa admitted reluctantly, her voice desperately hopeful that she would go unnoticed. Seth just scanned the bar for a moment, and then narrowed his eyes back on her accusingly.

**Seth**

Why, what did you do?

Dropping her jaw indignantly, Marissa squeaked at him.

**Marissa**

I didn't do anything!

She protested. She only received a disbelieving look from Seth, and knew that he wasn't going to believe her. He was right not to, she supposed.

**Marissa**

Besides sleep with her and never call back.

Marissa finished in a rush, hoping that somehow he wouldn't realise what she had said.

**Seth**

Oooh, me thinks Marissa's been a bad girl!

He teased immediately.

**Marissa**

Well she was a _psycho_!

**Seth**

Ya well she must have some kind of radar 'cos she's coming over.

He replied quickly, noticing a brunette woman begin to move forward as she squinted their way, obviously looking past the raspberry daiquiri shield and managing to somehow figure out that it was Marissa.

As the woman made her way forward, Marissa let a bolt of panic shoot through her face, then quickly decided to at least try and look composed and dignified. Clearing her throat, she lowered the drink slightly as she began to laugh randomly, glaring at Seth to join in her charade.

**Marissa**

You're right, that is funny.

Not noticing the look being sent his way, Seth frowned in utter bewilderment at Marissa's behaviour. He looked at her as though she had three heads. That was until he saw the murderous glare being sent his way. One that sent cold shivers of fear down his spine.

**Seth**

Well I'm a funny guy.

He agreed, not knowing what else to say as the pretty brunette finally got to the table. He looked up, whilst Marissa kept her attention on him. Probably desperately still hoping that the woman would think better and move along. She didn't.

**Laura**

Marissa?

Cringing as she heard her name, Marissa cleared her throat lightly before turning around and smiling brightly, pretending to be surprised.

**Marissa**

Laura. Hi.

**Laura**

So it is you.

The brunette, Laura it turned out to be, crossed her arms, shooting an irritated look toward Marissa.

**Marissa**

Yeah. Hey look, I'm sorry I never called. I just...had a lot going on, you know?

Marissa tried to explain, hoping that if she just appeased the other woman she would go away and spare her the embarrassment. But Laura just glared at her, before eyeing Seth up suspiciously.

**Laura**

Ah ha. So what, are you into guys now or something?

Immediately, Marissa had a look of shock crossing her features, mixed in with a major case of being repulsed and insulted.

**Marissa**

What? No, eww. He's my brother.

Seth smiled tightly, gesturing hello with his hand as he started getting the impression that Marissa could very well by right by the psycho observation. Plus he didn't like the way he was being stared at, as though he could actually lose his life.

**Seth**

Hi, nice to meet you Laura. In a very scary, intimidating way.

Laura blanked him, turning her angry focus back onto the object of her scorn.

**Laura**

We were supposed to be planning that cruise, remember? And what about the lizard, remember the lizard?

**Marissa**

It's hard not to. Look, I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be serious. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.

**Laura**

Oh, you're one of _those_ girls?

**Seth**

Hey, she is not one of _those_ girls okay?

After leaping to Marissa defence, pointing at the insane-o girl with a scowl, he leaned in toward Marissa.

**Seth**

I have no idea what one of _those_ girls is, but it sounded like I should defend your honour.

Rolling her eyes, wondering how she had managed to end up in this surreal situation, Marissa patted Seth's arm in thanks without looking away from Laura, now severely pissed off. Even if she hadn't have just split up with her girlfriend after a nasty relationship and break up, she still would have ran as fast as she could away from Laura. Who wouldn't have?

**Marissa**

Thanks Seth. I am not that kind of girl okay, you just...you came on pretty strong. I'd just gotten out of a really bad relationship and you were planning the rest of our lives together.

**Laura**

So?

Marissa flailed, failing to understand how Laura was failing to understand her.

**Marissa**

So we had met 3 hours earlier!

She snapped loudly, wishing that she could crawl under the table and vanish. This is what you got for being on the rebound. Your judgement was impaired; you just wanted someone decent-ish so you could fuck the pain away. Only this rebound fuck had come around to bite her in the ass.

**Laura**

Still missing your point.

Restraining herself from getting up to strangle the other girl, Marissa opened her mouth to argue but then sighed, thinking better of it. Nothing she could think of to say was going to satisfy Laura enough to back off. Nothing would work. Which is the reason she had purposely lost her number the day after they had slept together. When she realised that she had been planning a very demented life together. Instead, Marissa just leant around the booth, putting her arm around Seth's shoulders.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I'm into guys.

She didn't want to do it, but it was the only thing that she thought had a shot of working. And she had been right. Laura glowered evilly, huffing as she spun on her heel and stalked away like a sulking child. Marissa and Seth however, remained frozen in horror.

**Marissa/Seth**

Eww...

Repulsed, Seth shrugged Marissa's arm away as she pulled it away at the same time. Both scooted away from one another, looking downward so they didn't have to look at one another.

**Seth**

Well, that was weird.

**Marissa**

Yeah, let's not mention this ever again.

**Seth**

Done.

The pact was sealed by very long gulps of their drinks.

**Saturday morning **

**8:35am**

Letting herself into Marissa's house, Summer stood by the door for a moment, listening for signs of movement. There were none. Not that she particularly expected there to be. It wasn't as though her friend was the lightest drinker or earliest riser. Although, the early morning wakes ups were more common now, due to her work and after she had taken up running in the summer before college.

Working her way upstairs, the dark haired girl pushed Marissa's bedroom door open, walking in unhesitatingly. She had to squint her dark eyes to even make out shapes in the darkness. The thick shades kept all signs of daylight out.

**Summer**

Typical.

Striding over to the drapes, she reached up and pulled them apart aggressively.

**Summer**

Coop, wake up!

She yelled, shattering the previously peaceful silence in the room. Turning around, Summer rolled her eyes as Marissa simply grumbled, still asleep, turning the opposite way to the disruptive light. Changing tactic, Summer walked over to the huge, four poster bed, and began to poke her friend in the side.

**Summer**

C'mon Coop, get your lazy ass out of bed.

She insisted loudly, getting a grunt from the taller woman. Marissa batted the air, obviously her lazy, sleepy attempt to swat whatever it was trying to wake her up. Summer sighed, forgetting how hard it could be to wake the brunette up sometimes. Especially when she had been drinking the night before. But, Summer had also had a lot of practice in the area. Grabbing the covers, she yanked them off in one fell swoop.

**Summer**

**Marissa Cooper, move your butt**!

The aggressive shout and the sudden lack of cover startled Marissa into jumping up into a sitting position. Her face looked a mixture of shocked and scared as she screwed it up, immediately feeling the pain that throbbed in her head. The daylight felt like it was burning in the back of her eyes.

**Marissa**

What the hell Summer?

**Summer**

_Finally_. God, you are so hard to wake up, you know that?

Marissa looked up at her friends, glowering angrily.

**Marissa**

Yeah, you've mentioned it before. What are you doing here at…

Turning again, she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to her bed. Whipping her head back around, and pretty much regretting it, she scowled at Summer again.

**Marissa**

_8_:_35_? Its 8:35 Summer. It's Saturday. Not to mention I'm half naked here.

Summer merely folded her arms, shrugging casually at all of Marissa's protests. She didn't give a rat's ass about Marissa's appearance right now, looking over the rather revealing slip she had on. They had known one another for most of their lives, and Marissa thought she had a problem seeing her like this still? As though she had never encountered a scantily clad Coop before? Or a naked one, for that matter.

**Summer**

Nothin' I ain't seen before honey. Now shift your hung over ass into the shower so we can go shopping.

She tried to push the memory of finding a naked Marissa huddled in the bathtub, her skin red and blotchy from the hot water filtering out from the shower. Right after that night. Right after the accident, when Marissa's world had been turned upside down. Summer remembered having to coax her out of there, trying to bring her out of the state of shock she was in. It was one of the most awful, saddest memories that she had, seeing her friend like that. A shudder ran down her as she remembered how when she had finally managed to get Marissa up out of the tub, she had just clung to her, wailing. They had ended up in a huddle on the floor, since she had been unable to sustain Marissa's weight.

**Marissa**

What? We never made plans to go shopping.

Marissa's voice punctured her memory, bringing her back to reality and her present task. She looked at her friend again, happy that they had reached better times.

**Summer**

We have to get you ready for your date with Miss Purple tonight. We've got a lot to cram in you know.

Reaching forward, she grabbed Marissa's arm and started to pull. She may have been little, but she was strong. And despite receiving an indignant and confused look from Marissa, she still gave in to her and got out of bed.

**Marissa**

What do you mean, a lot? Its dinner and a movie. I think I can handle it.

**Summer**

Nuh uh. This is a big deal Coop, whether you admit it or not. And as your best friend I _order _you to come out with me today. Clothes, hair, nails, massage, we're doing it all. You're getting back in the game with style.

Marissa couldn't help but gawk at her little friend for a moment, her anger subsiding to affection. How could she stay mad at her, when she was doing this for her? Most people would have just taken her on a shopping trip or wished her luck or something. But Summer knew how much she liked Alex, so she was going all out to make sure she was ready for their date. She wanted to support her, keep her confident and help her move on. So the anger drained away quickly, and her scowl turned into a smirk before she leaned in and hugged her.

**Marissa**

What would I do without you?

Flipping a hand, Summer snorted and rolled her eyes as Marissa pulled back.

**Summer**

I don't want to think about it. Now, get in the shower before I go rage blackout on your lanky ass! I'll go make you some coffee.

**Marissa**

Thanks Sum.

Leaning in again, only this time to plant a kiss on Summer's cheek, Marissa smiled before shooting off toward the bathroom, now excited. Summer just rolled her eyes, a big smirk covering her lips, as she put the cover back on the bed, pulling it straight before heading off downstairs to make the coffee.

**Alex's house **

**8:35am**

In contrast to Marissa's pitch black room, Alex's was filled with light. She had never bothered to pull the curtains closed, as she had never bothered to close the window either. The sun shone through, warming the large bedroom up nicely. Alex was asleep on her stomach, her white sheet tangled through her legs and haphazardly strewn across the bed as though she had been having a fight with it throughout the night.

She didn't stir as her bedroom door moved open slightly, making way for Holly to creep through the room, surprisingly stealthily, and climb up onto the bed. She grinned, a mischievous glint running through her young blue eyes as she tiptoed up the bed, hesitating momentarily before bouncing onto Alex heavily.

**Holly**

Wake up, wake up, its morning!

Having the crap scared out of her first thing in the morning wasn't exactly how she would have chosen to wake up, but she didn't find it in her to be annoyed at her niece. Instead, as she got over her slight heart attack, she turned just enough to grab the giddy 5 year old and pull her onto the bed, where she began to tickle her mercilessly. She smirked as Holly laughed uncontrollably, squirming all over in her grasp.

**Alex**

Think it's funny waking me up huh, you little monster!

**Holly**

Yeah…

Holly managed to respond through her unadulterated laughter, making Alex laugh too. She ceased in her torture, letting Holly get her breath back. As she did, she looped her arm around her and pulled her in, snuggling up before pulling the cover over their heads, making their own little bubble.

**Alex**

You have too much energy. What're you doing up so early anyway?

**Holly**

Daddy's taking me to Grandma and Grandpa's.

Holly responded softly, now fascinated by playing with strands of her Aunt's hair. She didn't see her frown.

**Alex**

Oh.

**Holly**

Are you coming?

Alex cleared her throat softly; trying not to let her discomfort show through as Holly looked at her expectantly, still fiddling with her hair.

**Alex**

No sweetie, just you and your Dad.

**Holly**

But you never go. How come?

And the discomfort kept on coming. She had noticed that Holly was starting to ask more and more questions. She was smart for her age, very smart. Inquisitive and unafraid to ask about what she didn't understand. Something that Alex and Ryan both encouraged enthusiastically. Only now it was turned onto her, Alex wished that just this once, her blonde haired niece didn't want to know the answers.

**Alex**

Well, it's complicated kiddo. But you don't need to think about it okay? You just go have fun with Grandma and Grandpa.

Deciding to sidestep the real issue for now, Alex breezed past the real question, not wanting to shatter the girl's illusions about her Grandparents. She didn't need to know now, or possibly ever, the situation between them. She was only a little girl, and it was Ryan's choice for her to see them. Alex didn't want to be the one to ruin a little kid's happiness.

**Holly**

'Kay. Love you Alex.

**Alex**

I love you too H.

Holly moved out of Alex's arms, rolling over and giving her a kiss on the cheek before jumping down off the bed and running across the room toward the door. She smiled, seeing her Father stood there, having not noticed him before.

**Holly**

Hi Daddy.

Ryan smiled as his daughter flew past him after squeaking a hello, and then looked up in time to see Alex peek out from under her cover at him. After he had found her bedroom empty, and not finding her watching cartoons, Alex's room was the first place he headed. Countless of times he had found her in here, either after having woken her Aunt up, or after wondering in and falling asleep. He hadn't meant to earwig, but he had heard the brief conversation nevertheless.

**Ryan**

You okay?

**Alex**

Yeah, I'm cool.

Alex pushed the cover down a little, away from her face so that she could regard her weary looking brother at her doorway. Immediately, she knew he had heard what she had said.

**Ryan**

Thanks, you know, for saying that to Holly.

**Alex**

I'm not gunna shatter her image of her Grandparents Ryan. They hurt me not her. Although, I'm sure at some point they'll manage to do just that.

**Ryan**

Al, come on…

**Alex**

It's the truth Ryan. You get to hear that even if Holly doesn't. Just…don't give them too much rope with her, okay? 'Cos they'll use it against all of us.

It wasn't so much the bitterness or anger over what happened that she thought about anymore. Sure, she would be angry at them for the rest of her life. Especially her Father. What they had done was unforgivable. But she had to live with that pain. She just didn't want Holly to. She worried constantly about them hurting her somehow, doing something to make her realise that life wasn't fluffy kittens and ice cream. She wanted to protect her niece. But then, she couldn't tell Ryan exactly how dangerous to her that their parents could be. She didn't want to hurt him either. So she took the pain alone.

**Ryan**

You gunna be okay?

**Alex**

I'm not thinking about it.

She stated, instead making her mind move on to much nicer things. What was going to happen, would happen. And she knew she would be there for the fallout. Plus, she didn't want to get into a debating match of whether it was a good or bad thing that he let Holly see her Grandparents right now. So, she thought about Marissa instead. And their impending date tonight.

**Ryan**

Right…

Ryan drawled doubtfully, provoking a defensive glare out of his sister for a moment.

**Alex**

I'm not. I'm thinking about my date with Marissa tonight.

She explained, her eyes softening as she said it.

**Ryan**

A date huh?

**Alex**

Our second, actually.

The way she said it was almost boastful, making Ryan smirk a little, but look at her in confusion.

**Ryan**

You never said anything about a first date.

**Alex**

Well, it was sorta spontaneous. I haven't really seen much of you since.

**Ryan**

Right, you and your spontaneous dates. So, it went well I take it?

**Alex**

Extremely well, we just started talking like we were old friends or something.

**Ryan**

That's great. So what's the plan tonight?

**Alex**

Dinner and a movie. We're going to the revival theatre to see The Children's Hour.

Ryan cringed a little, drawing his head back.

**Ryan**

That film makes you cry.

Alex sighed, looking at the wall for a moment as she thought about the slight problem that she would probably end up bawling like a baby. Never the greatest tactic in the world to impress a girl.

**Alex**

I know, but it's her favourite film. I'll find a way to keep my composure.

**Ryan**

Sure you will. I'm gunna help Holly get ready. Have a good time.

**Alex**

I'd say you too but I don't mean it. Love you.

He rolled his eyes before backing out, starting to pull the door shut.

**Ryan**

Love you too.


	6. The Date

**Spoiler - **If anyone hasn't seen the film _The Children's Hour_, first of all, shame on you! Second of all, this chapter has spoilers of the end of the film

****

**Chapter Six – The Date**

**6:30pm**

**The revival theatre**

After spending the day getting pampered and going on a shopping spree with Summer, Marissa headed home to get ready for her date. Despite feeling like crap at the start of the day, after some breakfast she had begun to come around. She and Summer had talked about all sorts as they had gone for their pampering and shopping spree, laughing at one another as they had had a 'movie montage' of trying things on in the stores. Marissa had been in stitches as her friend had pulled funny expressions, doing a mocking catwalk strut out of the changing rooms, not really caring that the other shoppers were looking at her oddly. But that was Summer for you.

After showering and getting ready, Marissa found herself standing outside of the revival theatre where she had agreed to meet the blonde. She didn't even notice the longing stares she received from people going in or out, or walking along the street. Her eyes only searched for Alex, preoccupied like her mind. It wasn't surprising that people were staring at her. She had a pair of blue, form fitting jeans on that looked like they had been made especially for her along with a white, thin dress with little straps that went over them. Add the boots and the fact she had gone for some simple, natural looking jewellery and left her hair down, she looked beyond tempting.

Alex, for her part, had decided to take a break from work, leaving her lovely assistants to cope without her. She had spent most of the day hanging out at the beach, surfing and hanging out with a few of her friends. The water had been perfect all day, giving them plenty of challenge and rush. And after spending a good half hour turning down the offer of a party, Alex had made her escape to go back home so that she could get ready for her date with a certain brunette goddess.

After showering the sea out of her hair and the sand off her body, Alex had taken her time to get ready, whilst also trying to curb her excitement and her nerves. She had, contrary to Marissa, just pulled what she wanted to wear out of her closet, not really worrying too much about what she looked like. She chose a pair of black pants, with a black, short-sleeved button shirt that left a small slither of soft, toned stomach exposed. Enough to spot a trace of the tattoo across her abdomen. She had forgone the jacket tonight, and kept her hair simple and down. She looked breathtaking.

Marissa had been the first to arrive. She smiled tightly at the cab driver as she paid him; uncomfortable at the look he had cast toward her. Hurrying out of the car, she took up position by the wall near the entrance booth, her eyes anxiously beginning to look for Alex even though she knew she was early.

It wasn't too long before she caught sight of who she was looking for. Saw a glimpse of familiar blonde hair inside a cab. It was confirmed when Alex stepped out, smiling toward her as she did. Right then Marissa felt a warm feeling take residence up inside of her, the nerves just slipping away. She watched as Alex veered around the couple of people blocking her way, though still smiling.

**Alex **

Wow…you look, you look gorgeous.

Alex's voice was soft, but the sincere meaning behind it was hard to miss. She looked Marissa up and down, not objectifying, just admiring. Wondering actually, how she had managed to get the brunette to like her so much. Usually, when girls got what they wanted from her, they'd more or less leave her alone. There were one or two that were pains in her ass, but the majority lost their interest after they'd been fucked senseless.

**Marissa**

Thanks, you do too.

Marissa replied sheepishly, feeling herself blush at Alex's attention but liking it none the less. She hadn't said it just because it was polite to say it back. The blonde in front of her was striking, even if she didn't properly know it. Maybe Alex knew she was pretty, enough to be confident anyway, but she didn't know she was breathtakingly beautiful. It just made her more attractive.

**Alex**

Thank you. Sorry if I kept you waiting, the cab driver took two wrong turns. And quite frankly, I'm surprised he got me here alive.

Alex explained, knowing if she didn't say something and move she would end up doing something she probably wasn't allowed to do in the middle of a crowded street. So she started edging for the entrance booth, glad that Marissa got the hint and started moving with her.

**Marissa**

That's okay, I wasn't here for long. And I'll forgive you anyway, seeing as it sounds as though you had so much fun getting here!

**Alex**

I'm so grateful. So, how was your day?

**Marissa**

It was fine until Summer practically dragged me out of bed at stupid o'clock in the morning. No, wait. Scratch that. She _did_ drag me out of bed.

**Alex**

Who's Summer?

Marissa looked at Alex, catching her as she faltered slightly. Then her brain caught up with her. She didn't know who Summer was. They had talked, a lot. But she hadn't really mentioned Summer or anyone like that to Alex. Not in any specific way, anyhow. She realised she had just taken for granted that Alex would know. Like they already knew each other properly, as though they had been friends for years or something.

**Marissa**

Sorry, I just totally spaced that you wouldn't know who she is. Summer is my best friend; we've known each other since…well, forever really.

**Alex**

Oh, so you grew up together?

**Marissa**

Yeah.

The attendant smiled at them as the couple they were waiting behind walked inside after buying their tickets.

**Attendant **

Good evening, how can I help?

**Alex**

2 for The Children's Hour please?

As the assistant looked away, pressing a few buttons on his computer, Marissa leaned into Alex a little bit.

**Marissa**

Are you sure you don't mind seeing this? I know old black and white movies aren't for everybody.

**Alex**

Are you kidding, I love it. Besides, it's not that old. I just have to warn you though, I may hafta cry.

**Marissa**

Don't worry; I have tissues 'cos I'm definitely gunna cry.

Alex paid the attendant, a little distracted due to Marissa's close proximity. She took the tickets and turned a little more toward the brunette.

**Alex**

Well, you can hold onto me if it'll help. I don't mind.

Smirking, a little smug with herself for putting that glint in Marissa's eyes, she turned away and started walking toward the main doors. Marissa simply stood there for a second, a little taken back but smirking too. Gathering herself up, she followed Alex into the theatre and found her queuing for the snack bar. Going up to her, she slipped her hand into hers softly, giving her chance to pull away if she wanted to. Instead, Alex just tightened her hold, smiling as she looked up and locked eyes with blue orbs. The ones that made her pulse race. After a moment of intense starting, Marissa cleared her throat.

**Marissa**

Didn't your Mom ever tell you not to snack before dinner?

For a moment, something unreadable shot through Alex's powerful eyes. Something that Marissa couldn't quite make out. But it left as quick as it came, being replaced by a warm smile.

**Alex**

I'm thirsty. Plus, I eat a _lot_!

Marissa laughed, nodding in understanding as they moved along to the counter. She had already gathered how much Alex loved her food. She watched as the blonde ordered a large drink and popcorn so that they could share, and again, insisted on paying. After they had been served, they made their way, still hand in hand, toward the screen their film was showing in.

**Marissa**

Oooh, quick, the best seats are still available!

Alex laughed at Marissa's excited squeal as she led the way into the cinema, marching along toward the seats that she wanted. It was like watching a kid in a candy store. And when the brunette had marched them to the perfect seats, in the middle of the row half way up the slope of seats which gave them a perfect view, they began to settle into them.

**Alex**

Happy?

**Marissa**

Perfectly so.

Looking at one another again, they felt that pull. That tension, drawing them together. Like nothing they had ever felt before. Things seemed to slow down around them, sounds echoed dully. All they could see was each other, their hearts thumping and breath catching. Their thighs, that were now touching from the seats being so close together, caused a pleasant burning sensation. It made things boil, made them hot and wanting. Made their pulses quicken. Made them know that whatever it was they saw in one another was real.

They snapped out of it again. They had to. Pulling themselves together, they started talking about films during the wait for the movie to start. It wasn't a long wait. Before they knew it, the trailers had been on and the film was starting. Not long into it, Marissa moved the armrest between them up and out of her way. She shifted closer to Alex, who was watching her, and then took the blonde's arm and put it around herself. Alex didn't complain, instead letting Marissa get comfy by snuggling into her. Then, as the brunette did get comfy and stopped moving, she began to play with some of her hair as she leant her own head against Marissa's, paying her attention back to watching the film. That's the position they stayed in until the end. When, inevitably, they both cried.

**Marissa**

Do you think they loved each other?

Marissa pondered thoughtfully, enjoying the rush of fresh air as they walked out of the theatre slowly, arm in arm.

**Alex**

You mean do I think they were _in_ love?

**Marissa**

Yeah. I've had a lot of debates about it with friends over the years.

**Alex**

I think they loved each other, very deeply. I just think Martha realised it first, and killed herself before Karen got a chance to.

**Marissa**

What makes you think that?

**Alex**

I just think you can see it when Karen goes out for that walk. The whole scene is just…so…_intense_. Then the look she has when she knows something is wrong, it just said everything in my opinion.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I totally agree.

Alex smiled lightly, regarding Marissa with a soft, caring expression. Then, she took in a breath of air and looked around.

**Alex**

So, where would you like to eat?

**Marissa**

Anywhere, I'm so hungry right now that I'd settle for anything.

The popcorn hadn't done anything for her inside. In fact, she thought it had made her even hungrier.

**Alex**

Okay, there's a fantastic little Portuguese place around the corner. That sound okay?

**Marissa**

I trust your taste. Let's go.

Marissa let Alex guide her to the restaurant, impressed once they got there. It was hidden away in the corner, making it intimate and sweet seeing as it wasn't rushed and crowded. There was a relaxing vibe running through it, and instantly the brunette fell in love. Alex had explained to her that Ryan's ex girlfriend used to work here, which is how she had found out about it. After ordering a bottle of wine, and after Marissa had questioned Alex on a few things on the menu, the pair made their choices and ordered. Which is when Alex asked to hear more about the brunette's life and friends.

**Marissa**

Summer has been…like my heaviest rock. She's amazing. I honestly can't remember a time that she wasn't there for me.

She finished off wistfully, an obvious love for her friend running through her. It was hard to miss; it made her eyes glow and her smile change slightly, into one that was clearly reserved for said friend. It made Alex smile too.

**Alex**

Wow.

**Marissa**

I know. Anyway, I wanna hear more about you.

Groaning playfully, Alex rolled her eyes.

**Alex**

Oooh, what else do you need to know?

**Marissa**

As much as I can pry out of you.

**Alex**

But you already know the important stuff. Honestly, there's not much else to know. I'm as shallow as they come, and I haven't done anything interesting through life!

Marissa raised a doubtful eyebrow, both at Alex's claim and the sweet, innocent smile she shot her way which betrayed her instantly.

**Marissa**

I don't believe that for one moment Miss Kelly.

**Alex**

Damn, what gave it away?

Looking over the candlelit table, Marissa gave her a meaningful look.

**Marissa**

Your eyes.

Alex was caught off guard by the gravity of the whisper, and the sincere look in the other woman's eyes. Right then, she felt like Marissa was looking into her very soul. She could almost feel her in there, and it wasn't at all unpleasant. Different, than what she thought a connection like that would be. And suddenly not as scared as she had been before. She was still afraid of what was inside of her, and what she had to give away, but those eyes just alleviated the fear of everything other that she had been worried about. Like thinking of getting involved with someone properly, like committing. It vanished. It also felt as though it had taken her breath with her. She had to clear her throat to compose herself again.

**Alex**

Okay…how about we do the general stuff and work up to the harder stuff?

**Marissa**

That actually works for me.

Marissa happily agreed to Alex's suggestion, relieved that she didn't have to tell her anything too complicated yet. Mainly because she was trying to decide what part of her past was the least complicated. It was a difficult task. But she was doing it because Alex was the only girl that actually made her want to do it.

After their meals arrived, the pair had spent their time chatting away, laughing at each other's stories and escapades. It was so comfortable, but still with that charged atmosphere too. Before they knew it, they found themselves stepping out of the restaurant, full and content. Having made their way through a meal, a bottle of wine, desert and a coffee each. It had been Marissa that had insisted on paying this time, managing to snag the bill before Alex had had chance to.

**Alex**

I erm…I've been having a really good time Marissa.

**Marissa**

Me too.

Taking Alex's hand again, she squeezed it gently before they started walking down the sidewalk slowly. For a couple of moments, there was an easy silence.

**Alex**

Do you wanna go to the beach?

**Marissa**

Right now?

**Alex**

Yeah, I love the water at night. There's something so…

**Marissa**

Peaceful?

**Alex**

Yeah, peaceful. I love to be there when the tide changes. Actually, it's a weird little tradition I have. To watch the tide change when something big changes in my life. I go there to think too.

Marissa regarded her blonde companion, somewhat surprised. She had never met anyone else that used the beach and the water for things like that. Even back in high school, when she had started going to her lifeguard tower, people thought it was strange. She had come to believe that she was the only person that went to the water to think and let change wash over her.

**Marissa**

Really?

**Alex**

Yeah, I know it sounds corny.

**Marissa**

No, it doesn't. That's where I go too.

**Alex**

Seriously?

**Marissa**

Yeah, ever since I was in school.

Alex just smiled as they began to walk in the direction of the beach. That comfortable silence moved over them again, neither of them speaking as they walked over the sand when they made it to the beach. There were a few people around. A group of kids sitting around a bonfire. People just relaxing. They walked down, just listening to the waves.

**Marissa**

You wanna go sit up on the tower?

Marissa wondered, spotting an empty tower not far from them.

**Alex**

Sure.

They walked over to the tower, heading up the ramp and then sitting down next to one another, leaning their backs up against the wooden wall. They remained silent for another couple of minutes, just watching the dots of light out to sea.

**Marissa**

I had a lifeguard tower growing up. It was my hiding place. Still have one actually.

**Alex**

So you grew up around here?

It occurred to Alex that she had never actually asked Marissa where she had grown up, or come from. She had assumed it was Los Angeles, but Marissa had never specifically said either.

**Marissa**

Actually, I grew up in Orange County. Newport, Orange County.

**Alex**

Wow, really? I never would have pegged you as a Newport girl.

**Marissa**

Ya well, I work hard to cover it up.

She replied a little more bitterly than she had intended. She knew there was no way Alex had missed that. And she was relieved that she seemed to be letting it slide, as she waited for a moment to speak.

**Alex**

I go out there sometimes. Used to go a lot when we were kids. You get the best waves.

Turning her head a little to see Alex better, she lifted an interested eyebrow.

**Marissa**

You surf?

**Alex**

Yeah, I love it.

Marissa smirked, her eyes glistening with mischievousness and desire.

**Alex**

What?

**Marissa**

Nothing! Just imagining you out there, all wet and bikini clad!

Alex snickered, nudging the brunette beside her gently. Silently though, she felt a pang of excitement rush through her, knowing what Marissa was thinking about.

**Alex**

Perv!

**Marissa**

What? As if it's my fault you're so pervable on?

She replied playfully, defending her right to perv and quite happy to place all the blame on Alex.

**Alex**

Well, if you really wanna find out you could come to the beach tomorrow.

Alex offered her suggestively, her tone dropping a little as she leaned a little further into Marissa, her eyes hardly being able to pull away from her inviting lips.

**Marissa**

What's in it for me?

**Alex**

Besides me in a bikini, how about a picnic lunch?

**Marissa**

I'm sold!

**Alex**

That's like, the second time you've said that to me. You're so easy!

Marissa nodded, reflecting the hungry look Alex was giving her.

**Marissa**

I do seem to be when it comes to you, don't I?

They looked at one another knowingly for a moment, before Alex started to close the gap between them. Getting no protest from Marissa, she kissed her lightly. She wasn't used to kissing people lightly, and she had never expected one to be as intoxicating as this. Even though it was soft, and slow, her mind clouded up as everything else in her buzzed alive. As though Marissa was the only woman that had kissed her properly, making her real.

They stayed like that for a minute or so, getting used to the feeling before the kiss started getting a little more heated. Marissa was the one to initiate it, licking Alex's bottom lip as a sign that she wanted more. Something that Alex had been happy to oblige to. So Marissa had taken her mouth without hesitation, initiating a powerful battle for dominance between them. Eventually though, they had been forced to break apart from air. And after being left panting, after Marissa had given Alex's a couple more pecks, they had settled down and stared out to sea again. Alex had snuggled into Marissa comfortably, feeling a buzz that she had never had with any other woman or drink.

After another half hour or so, realising that it was fairly late, the women had made their way back up the beach and headed to their respective homes. Both amazed at what was happening, and both left with a whirlwind of excitement of what was going to happen.

**Sunday **

**Late morning **

**Kelly residence**

Upon getting up, Alex felt like a kid on Christmas day. The excitement in her stomach was thick and hot, dizzying even, but quite calm and fluid. During the interim of happiness of her childhood, she had felt like that on special days, such as birthdays or Christmas. It hadn't lasted long though, of course. So she hadn't had much experience with the feeling.

Stretching as she had rolled out of bed, reflecting on what had happened on her date last night, she had padded contentedly to the shower before dressing for the beach. She had pulled a pair of shorts and a thin sweater over her bikini, and then set about preparing for her Sunday.

After eating a quick breakfast and washing it down with a large coffee, the blonde club owner started to prepare for the picnic she had promised Marissa, and she hadn't been able to wipe away the small smile from her lips as she had packed the cooler box with all things food and drink. After she had finished, and after speaking to Ryan on the phone, she began to put their bags into the back of her jeep. She had been unaware that Ryan wasn't even in the house. Holly was still with her Grandparents, making her wonder where Ryan had gotten to last night. Still, she did what he asked, and put his board and bag into the jeep alongside hers. Then, she smiled even wider as she fished her phone out of her shorts pocket, glad to see that it was Marissa's name up on the caller ID.

**Alex**

Hey.

**Marissa**

Hey, how are you this morning?

**Alex**

I'm great, how're you?

**Marissa**

I'm doing good. So, when are you setting off to the beach?

**Alex**

Pretty much now. Are you still coming?

**Marissa**

I dunno, are you wearing a bikini?

Alex laughed, both at Marissa's playfully pervy tone and at the thrill and relief that she was still coming to the beach today. Also, she was loving this whole thrill of the chase deal. It was exhilarating and it was making her want Marissa even more. Usually she had gotten what she wanted by now. She didn't have to do a lot of chasing. But this thing with Marissa was different. Marissa herself was different. And Alex was enjoying every moment of their cat and mouse games. The unspoken desire between them, the understanding but not vocal acknowledgement of it. She liked it all.

**Alex**

I just might be.

**Marissa**

Do I still get fed?

**Alex**

The cooler is packed with Alex Kelly delights!

**Marissa**

Awesome, I'm definitely in.

**Alex**

Oh, I forgot to tell you last night. Ryan'll be there too. Sunday is our surf day.

Alex remembered, shaking her head almost as if Marissa could see her. She had completely forgotten to mention it last night when she had invited the brunette to the beach, and hopefully it wouldn't change things.

**Marissa**

Really? Are you sure it's okay for me to come? I don't want to encroach on your time with your brother.

Marissa replied thoughtfully, yet not saying that she didn't want to come. She did. The idea of spending the day with Alex on the beach was more than appealing; she just didn't want to intrude.

**Alex**

No don't worry about it; we bring other people all the time. I just wanted to tell you in case you didn't want to come.

**Marissa**

No, I really want to. I'd like to meet your brother anyway. He can tell me lots of embarrassing secrets about you.

Alex snorted in laughter, rolling her eyes at the same time.

**Alex**

I don't have any! So, you know the stretch of beach I told you about right?

**Marissa**

Yeah sure, 'where all the cool surfers hang out'. I'll be there in about 30 minutes.

**Alex**

Okay. And Marissa? I better not be the only one in a bikini!

Alex flipped her phone shut, ending the call and feeling rather smug about it. She smirked, picturing Marissa's face. She definitely liked this game.


	7. The Something New

**Chapter Seven – The Something New**

**30 minutes later**

**On the beach**

She had pretty much felt like a mule, hefting both her and Ryan's stuff down to the spot on the sand she had staked out. And she had grumbled about her elusive brother, telling herself that she would have to get revenge somehow when he finally got here and explained is disappearing act. Alex already thought it might just have something to do with the girl he'd been seeing for a while. One she wasn't allowed to meet because she was too 'overprotective and overbearing and has tendencies to scare women away'. Alex scoffed out loud indignantly, as she began to prepare the surf boards, occupying herself until someone turned up.

10 minutes later, Marissa made her way along down the beach after parking up in the car park. As she had stepped foot on the sand, she had began to search for the familiar blonde, and smirked as she recognised her further down, sitting on her own in a good spot. As she had gotten closer and closer, Marissa realised that Alex was waxing the boards, or something like that. She wasn't exactly sure what you did with the boards, but whatever it was it had Alex completely in a land of her own. After a moment or so of pure staring and appreciating, Marissa decided to make her presence known, and cleared her throat.

**Marissa**

Hey.

Looking up, Alex beamed happily, not bothering to hide the fact she just practically just lit up like a Christmas tree. She also didn't resist the next urge that rushed her. Getting up, she moved to greet the brunette, pulling her in gently for a low and lingering kiss. One that though it was gentle, held heat and promise, want and passion.

**Alex**

Hey yourself.

Alex grinned at the visible affect the kiss had on Marissa, seeing her stagger for breath as she blinked, trying to get the dizziness out of her head. And of course, she chose the moment to tease her, figuring it was a prime opportunity. The brunette cleared her throat, looking from space and back to Alex.

**Marissa**

Sorry I was late, traffic was heavy.

Not unaware of what Alex was doing, Marissa decided that two could play at her game. After her apology, and putting her bag onto the sand, she started to unzip her sweater slowly, revealing a red and white bikini underneath. Oh so un-innocently, she peeled it off, not looking at the blonde but knowing she was watching her. After she had let the sweater slip to the floor, she looked up at Alex again, gaining a satisfied glint in her eyes as she saw that her throat seemed to have gone dry and her eyes had a glazed look about them.

**Marissa**

Alex?

Trying to snap out of it quickly, seeing Marissa looking at her expectantly, she shook her head a little and cleared her throat as a powerful want throbbed through her. Marissa's body was…well…wow! Toned, smooth, tight. Altogether mouth watering. This was going to be so much harder than she thought. Resisting the urge just to leap on her and take her right here on the beach.

**Alex**

Yeah…erm…that's okay. Haven't been here long.

Smiling at the flustered reply, and the squeak in Alex's voice, Marissa decided she had been victorious. Kneeling down, she got out her towel and laid it out on the ground next to Alex's, but decided to forgo taking off her long, white beach skirt that was part of the bikini ensemble. Instead, she plonked herself down onto her towel and occupied herself as Alex fussed over a few more things in preparation to go surfing.

**Marissa**

So how long have you been surfing?

Alex shrugged lightly, glancing at Marissa before starting on Ryan's board.

**Alex**

I don't know, I guess 10, 11 years.

**Marissa**

Wow, you must be pretty good after all that time.

**Alex**

Well I'm no pro but I can hold my own. Have you ever tried it?

Marissa scoffed, shooting Alex a look as if she were crazy and just sprouted three extra heads.

**Marissa**

Who me? _Noooo_. Newport girl, remember? We didn't surf, we partied and went shopping.

She pointed out, tone playful.

**Alex**

A Newport party girl huh? What have I let myself in for? I thought you girls out there are supposed to be innocent and proper?

**Marissa**

Yeah, on the outside. Trust me, there's a reason why all the kids want to leave.

The girls she had grown up with didn't do surfing. Drinking, partying, bed-hopping and pill popping they did with expertise. Getting pampered and fussed over they did as an art form. And shopping they could get a PhD in. Contrary to popular belief, the elite of Newport Beach were not quiet, refined and innocent. If people really looked under the perfect exterior of Newport, they would be shocked to find the multitude of sins born there. Marissa wasn't claiming to be innocent, but it was why she had fled from there at the first chance she got.

**Alex**

Yeah, I get that.

Clearing her throat as she stopped what she was doing, Alex looked at the brunette again. The girl from the notorious Newport Beach. She wondered for a second, what she was thinking. First of all she didn't do relationships, or commitment, or rationality when it came to girl's full stop. But here she was trying. And with a girl from Newport Beach, who probably grew up having her every whim catered to. They came from completely different worlds. How was she supposed to make that work?

**Alex**

We grew up in Chino. Far cry from Newport, I know. But every kid dreams of getting the hell outta there too.

**Marissa**

Well then I guess its good we both made it out.

Marissa caught the haunted look whispering in Alex's eyes, caught the drop in her tone as she thought back to her home. She thought she sensed a little discomfort in saying it, and maybe something akin to embarrassment. But all she did was offer a smile, letting Alex know that she didn't care about that kind of stuff. She wasn't going to pass judgement on someone from where they came from. It would be a tad hypocritical, and that's not how she operated.

**Alex**

I swear if he's not here in 10 minutes I'm hitting the water without him.

Alex reflected the smile slightly, understanding what Marissa was trying to do. Then, she sighed and looked at her watch, then looked around with a frown before turning to stare at the sparkling water. There were already surfers out there, doing their thing. Tempting her to go with them.

**Marissa**

Ryan isn't here yet?

**Alex**

No, he called me this morning and asked me to bring his stuff. I didn't even realise he wasn't home. He was all mysterious and stoic. Not that he's the super talkative type.

**Marissa**

Is he one of those strong and silent types?

**Alex**

How'd you know?

**Marissa**

Well you're his sister aren't you?

Marissa replied, not really making it a question but a statement as she pinned Alex with a knowing look. The blonde scoffed, trying to flippantly deny the remark.

**Alex**

I'm not the strong and silent type!

Marissa simply rolled her eyes, raising a disbelieving eyebrow. She had known that about Alex pretty much as soon as they had met.

**Marissa**

No, of course you're not. Still waters run deep means nothing to you!

Knowing she couldn't really argue, Alex just chuckled, nudging Marissa a little before noticing a familiar figure heading toward them. Looking up, she spotted her brother, hand in hand with a cute redhead.

**Alex**

Well, we're definitely twins. Looks like we've both had the same idea.

Looking over her shoulder, Marissa saw who Alex was looking at. It wasn't as though she could miss him; after all, they looked strikingly alike. She got to her feet as Alex did, feeling a small pang of nerves well up in her stomach. She wanted to create a good impression on Ryan. Things were going well between her and Alex; she didn't want it to be spoiled by making Ryan not like her somehow. And as she glanced at the redhead with him, she recognised the same thoughts running through her bright green eyes too.

**Ryan**

Hey, traffic sucked.

It was hard not to look between Alex and Ryan. Both Marissa, and the unknown redhead did it as they came to a stand, all four of them facing one another. Both women seemingly interested in how much the twins looked like one another.

**Alex**

Yeah, I heard. I lucked out and missed it though. Okay, so this is Marissa Cooper. Marissa this is Ryan.

She introduced her brother and, it was a little early to call Marissa her girlfriend, but she couldn't come up with anything else, in a rush. It wasn't like her to be shy, but she lacked the experience doing this. She had only ever had one other relationship, but Jodie had grown up with them, Ryan already knew her. As well as detested her, which she couldn't blame him for. So did she. This was different though. She was sheepish because this was all knew, but also because she wanted the two of them to get along. So it made her smile as she watched them shake hands warmly.

**Ryan**

Hey Marissa.

**Marissa**

Hey, it's nice to meet you.

**Ryan**

Yeah, you too. Sorry 'bout washing your number.

Flipping a hand casually, Marissa smirked before side glancing Alex.

**Marissa**

Don't worry about it. Things worked out.

Ryan couldn't help but be pleased as he saw the look running between Alex and Marissa. He had been waiting for a long time to see that sparkle in his sister's eyes, and had started to worry that she would never let herself feel it.

**Ryan**

Al, this is Emma Perkins. Emma, this is my sister Alex.

Looking away from Marissa and toward Emma, Alex extended her hand, finally getting to meet Ryan's mystery woman. She had started to wonder if she was actually real! Now she was stood before her, she couldn't blame Ryan for liking her so much. She was beautiful, and had the kindest green eyes.

**Emma**

It's great to meet you Alex. Ryan's told me a lot about you.

**Alex**

It's good to meet you too. I promise I'm not as bad as he makes out!

**Emma**

No, don't worry, there wasn't anything bad.

**Alex**

That makes a change. He's actually talked about you too; I've been looking forward to meeting you.

**Emma**

Thank you, I was a little nervous. You two are so close.

**Alex**

Don't worry, I don't bite.

Something about Emma started to disarm her, which didn't usually happen when it came to Ryan's girlfriends. Call her over protective, but she tended to scrutinize them to the nth degree to make sure they were good enough. Possibly a contributing factor of why she was meeting Emma so late. But the redhead wasn't putting her back up or setting off her alarm bells.

**Alex**

You still with us Ry?

Alex caught her brother staring off to the water, seemingly mesmerised and completely unaware of the short conversation next to him.

**Ryan**

Yeah. The water looks good.

**Alex**

Well then let's get ready; I'm itching to get out there.

Ryan nodded at her suggestion, knowing she was as eager as he was. Looking at his girlfriend, he raised his eyebrows questioningly as he pointed out to the water.

**Ryan**

You don't mind?

**Emma**

No of course not. I can't wait to see you out there.

He nodded, moving toward his bag as he pulled his t-shirt off. Alex smirked at Marissa, who gave her an encouraging look, before moving over to her bag where Ryan was. She too stripped off her sweater and her shorts, revealing a simple yet striking black bikini. What caught Marissa off guard, other than Alex's body in general, where the tattoos she had never noticed before. There was a phrase, written in what she thought was Latin, in beautiful black lettering low on the blonde's abdomen. A colourful butterfly on her arm, and as she turned around as she talked to her brother, Marissa noticed Alex had another two. A gorgeous yellow and orange tribal design of the Phoenix and something on the small of her back that she couldn't make out yet, some kind of symbols of fire and water it looked like.

**Marissa**

Hey, I'm Marissa Cooper.

Snapping out of it enough to notice Emma was placing her towel next to hers; Marissa introduced herself politely, offering out a hand toward the redhead.

**Emma**

Emma Perkins, nice to meet you.

As the two girls sat down on their respective towels, the siblings began to pull on their wet suit gear, continuing to talk quietly so they couldn't be overheard.

**Alex**

You told me she was cute, not hot! I take it you stayed over at her place last night?

**Ryan**

Yeah. Didn't plan on it, but things…just happened.

**Alex**

I'm glad, you seem really into her.

**Ryan**

Yeah, pretty much.

**Alex**

She seems nice. Good vibes. How is she with Holly?

**Ryan**

Fantastic, they've been getting on really well.

**Alex**

That's great.

Once again, Emma looked between the two twins, finding it remarkable how much alike they were. Not just in the obvious, twin way. Of course they looked like one another, but they were so similar in other aspects too. The way they moved, the way they kept their thoughts behind their eyes, not giving too much away. The way they both carried something, making it obvious how strong and determined they were even though they didn't realise it. Also, the mysterious air seemed to move with both of them, not just Ryan.

**Emma**

They are so alike, aren't they?

**Marissa**

They really are. So how did you meet Ryan?

**Emma**

I own a bookstore and he came in to do some woodwork for me. We just clicked; there was just something about him.

**Marissa**

Yeah, that sounds familiar.

**Emma**

Same thing happened with Alex huh?

**Marissa**

Absolutely. There was just something about her.

**Emma**

She's really beautiful. And they're both enigmatic, sorta alluring, don't you think?

**Marissa**

Definitely.

Zipping up his suit, Ryan glanced at the girl that had turned his sister's head. He had already known she had to be pretty special, considering that she had managed to get Alex to do something other than fuck and run. He could see what his sister saw in her. And of course, there was that underlying pain, the damaged look that Alex had too. He understood a little of it, but it ran too deep for him to really comprehend. He guessed it was another reason why they connected so well. They could understand each other on a level no one else could.

**Ryan**

She's gorgeous Al, and so into you.

**Alex**

You think so?

**Ryan**

The way she keeps looking at you kinda gives it away!

**Alex**

We kissed last night, on the beach. It was amazing.

**Ryan**

Well she's definitely got you under her thrall.

**Alex**

Pretty much. God, we're so pussy whipped!

Ryan laughed, simply nodding in agreement.

**Ryan**

I think we just might be. Don't tell them that though.

**Alex**

And spoil the Kelly reputation, I don't think so. You ready?

**Ryan**

Yep.

Picking up their boards, the blonde siblings looked over to their significant others, who were chatting as though they were old friends.

**Alex**

You two okay over here?

**Marissa**

Yeah, we're cool.

**Alex**

Okay, the cooler box is in my jeep if you want anything. Keys are in my bag.

**Marissa**

Got it.

**Emma**

She is so into you.

Marissa smiled, watching Alex head toward the water happily. Then, she turned to look at Emma, hopefully.

**Marissa**

You think so?

**Emma**

I only just met you both and I saw it right off the bat. Are you together?

**Marissa**

Well, I hope we're heading that way. We only had our second date last night, but I have this really good feeling about it.

**Emma**

There's an obvious chemistry there. And you look so good together.

**Marissa**

Thanks. That's what I thought when I saw you and Ryan.

**Emma**

Then that makes us two really lucky girls.

Things seemed to slip into a comfortable pace for the brunette. She felt relaxed, enjoying the sun and chatting to Emma as they both watched Alex and Ryan out on the water. The optimistic feeling inside her stomach about her and Alex's involvement was pleasant, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling like an utter fool. She couldn't believe Alex had been so modest about her surfing earlier, because watching her now, she looked like a pro. Gliding along the waves with so much skill that it was amazing. Ryan was the same too. But her focus, inevitably, rested on Alex. And so did the passers by attention. There were quite a few people, and other surfers, watching the siblings, pointing out to them and commenting, as they watched them do their thing. The only thing that broke her concentration, bringing her back to reality, was the phone ringing in her bag.

**Marissa**

Hey Sum.

Flipping her phone open as she saw Summer's name on the caller ID, she looked out to sea again, not being able to stray from the enigmatic blonde for too long.

**Summer**

Marissa Cooper I have been waiting for details all morning.

Marissa couldn't help but laugh at Summer's irate tone, receiving an annoyed huff too. She had completely forgotten to call her friend after the date last night.

**Marissa**

I'm sorry Summer; I was just busy getting ready for the beach. Alex invited me down to watch her and her brother Ryan surf. So I'm hanging out with them and Ryan's girlfriend Emma.

**Summer**

So it went well, I take it. It must have if you're hanging out today.

**Marissa**

It was amazing. We had such a good night.

**Summer**

That's awesome Coop. So, are you wearing your new bikini you picked up?

**Marissa**

Yeah, and I'd say it's going down rather well.

**Summer**

Of course it is. A) I picked it out, B) it's on you and C) Alex has eyes!

**Marissa**

Gee, thanks Summer.

**Summer**

What? Like I keep telling you, stone cold fox.

**Marissa**

Are you hitting on me again?

**Summer**

You're not funny you pervert. Focus on Miss Purple, how hot does she look?

**Marissa**

Like, well…_wow_!

**Summer**

Rendered you speechless huh? Okay, I'm gunna leave you to it. Remember, don't drool, bend over a lot and ask her to rub your sun lotion on.

**Marissa**

Thanks Summer, I think I can remember how to keep her interested.

**Summer**

Well that's not really an issue with the lack of clothes you have on. Have fun honey; I want to hear everything at work tomorrow. Love you.

**Marissa**

Love you too, bye.

Flipping her phone shut again, Marissa gave Emma an apologetic smile as she thought about what Summer had just said.

**Marissa**

Sorry about that. My friend was just checking up on me. She seems to think I need pointers on how to be a lesbian! I think she's been reading PFLAG pamphlets again!

Marissa remembered Summer's whole PFLAG reading phase, which had scared her quite a lot. It had made her friend become a full on, hard core defender of gay rights. Probably more than she was. Marissa was quite happy giving her donations to the Human Rights Campaign, being indignant and being on the scene. She was up to date, armed and equipped to hold her own. But she had no interest in running of to congress about it. She wanted to do other things with her life. She was just glad there were people out there to do it for her. Which was why she supported the groups and gave hefty donations.

It turned out that Marissa and Emma had a hell of a lot in common. Both swam in the world of publishing and books, and seemed to have quite a similar taste in reading materials. Marissa explained about how her company worked, and how they accepted and went after the writers of more darker, complicated and heavy material. The writers that a lot of other publishing houses turned down because they were simply too deep for them, too much to handle. That was the type of client CCR welcomed. Also, as it turned out, Summer had scheduled a couple of book signing at Emma's bookstore.

The day went along smoothly. After Alex and Ryan came back from their surf, the other couple went to collect the cooler box, as Marissa and Alex had toyed with one another as they had rubbed sun lotion on each other. They sat around in the sun, enjoying the picnic and laughing at stories and jokes. After they had relaxed, they began tossing around a Frisbee before Ryan got board and carried a squealing Emma off to be dunked in the ocean, which highly amused the other two. They decided to go in too, but instead of swimming they just ended up messing around, splashing one another playfully until they ended up having a make out session in the water.

**Monday **

**CCR**

**1:55pm**

Reality had a brutal way of making itself known. Especially after a weekend like Marissa had had. And given the fact it was Monday, just made it so much worse. Like most of the population, Marissa hated Monday's. She had to completely agree with The Mamma's And The Pappa's when they said 'don't trust that day'.

She had been in her meeting in the conference room, packed with the senior editors and staff managers, for almost an hour now. Discussing new materials and current clients, and being updated on various things. They had a lot of work to get through. After finishing a couple of phone calls to a client, the printers and a couple of other people, the brunette sighed and slipped back into her chair, writing down a few things she knew she couldn't forget and organising a few lunch meetings. She didn't even want to think of the amount of work she had when she stepped out of here. Her stomach rumbled but she ignored it, knowing she probably wasn't going to get much chance to eat anytime soon.

**Marissa**

John did you speak to Parker Leeland?

**John**

I did. He'll have the revisions back to us on Monday.

**Marissa**

Great, because the book is being printed on Thursday, he's cutting it a little fine.

**John**

He's one of those flaky writer types. Sort of an excuse to lounge about and be self-indulgent.

As everyone in the meeting chuckled, Marissa looked up and chuckled too. He wasn't wrong in is observation. Parker Leeland was a notoriously lazy and self indulgent client that they had to provoke to get the work done. It was worth it, given the outcome was usually a stoke of genius.

**Marissa**

See that's why I love dealing with you lot and not the flaky writer types. But his work is good, and fits into what we publish.

She said it out loud, mainly to remind herself just why they kept him. While it was true that she spent most of her time dealing with her staff and the printing companies, agents, scouts and people from the movie scene wanting to know about getting rights, Marissa did rub elbows with the actual authors too. The only real reason she didn't do it more often, was because her time was precious and limited, and almost always in demand. She was running a company that just kept growing.

Hearing a buzz, as she felt her phone vibrate on the table at the same time, Marissa picked it up and saw that she had received a text message. Flicking it open, she smiled softly as she saw Alex's name, bringing a welcomed distraction to her day of heavy work.

_**Can't stop thinking about you.**_

Her smile widened a little, liking the fact that Alex was thinking about her. It sent a delightful chill up her spine, making her clear her throat before looking at her staff, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible so they didn't watch her gushing over the girl she was dating.

**Marissa**

Is there anything else?

**Matthew**

I have one more thing. Do you know a Katie Warner?

Momentarily forgetting about everything, Marissa looked at the young but brilliant editor as she heard the name. The bell went off immediately, her mind conjuring up a face from high school.

**Marissa**

Yes, I do. Why?

He launched a plastic file down the table toward her, and she caught it and lifted it up. It was a sample submission. Katie Warner was a writer? That surprised Marissa a little bit, although she hadn't gotten to know the blonde haired girl very well back in school. They had had a couple of classes together, she seemed to remember. But they hadn't particularly travelled in the same circles. Katie was always nice to her, she remembered that much. And she remembered liking her. But she had been going through a lot then, and hadn't let anyone in that she didn't need to.

**Matthew**

This is a sample she sent in. I just finished it.

**Marissa**

And?

**Matthew**

And she's a genius. Right up our alley.

Again, Marissa looked surprised, leafing through the pages. When Matthew said someone was genius, he really meant it. It wasn't a word he liked to toss around in jest. She guessed, as she thought more about it, Katie had been one of those quiet, introspective types in school. It would figure that she was cooking something up inside her head.

**Marissa**

Really? It's that good?

**Matthew**

Yeah, we'd be crazy to send her a rejection letter.

**Marissa**

Then don't send her one. Get her in here with her whole book and land her.

**Matthew**

You're the boss, boss!

Marissa smiled, putting the submission in her folder case before picking up her phone again, looking over the staff quickly.

**Marissa**

Is that it?

Everyone nodded, looking between one another as though wanting to make sure no one else had anything else to say. Some of them looked as relieved as Marissa did, glad to be able to get out of the conference room, stretch their legs, get back to work.

**Marissa**

Great, thanks for a good meeting.

Now dismissed, everyone began to bustle about, gathering their stuff and talking together about various things. Marissa herself stayed put, concentrating on replying to Alex's message, hoping that the short delay wouldn't be making her worry.

_**Dinner at my place? Tonight, 8pm?**_

Just as she pressed send, she noticed Matthew make his way over to her, a little nervously, which was odd for Matthew. He wasn't the nervous type. He wasn't over confident either; he just got on with things. She remembered the only time he had seen him nervous was when she had had him in for his interview. He had applied right out of college. She could have hired more experienced editors, but she had seen something in him. She hadn't been wrong; he was one of their most talented assets.

**Matthew**

Do you have a minute, Miss Cooper?

Picking up her stuff, Marissa scoffed as she stood up. With her free hand, she straightened out her white shirt, which she supposed was unbuttoned a little too low, but she didn't really give a rats ass. She didn't realise that the look turned quite a lot of heads, completely oblivious to how a simple white shirt and black skirt accentuated her body. The look was even sexier because she'd rolled her sleeves up and tied her hair up into a loose knot as she had been working.

**Marissa**

Hey do me a favour Matthew, don't call me Miss Cooper. I'm not old enough for that! My name is Marissa.

It must have been the millionth time she had told Matthew to call her by her name, but every time she just thought it was kind of sweet how he was still a little too shy to call her anything but Miss Cooper.

**Matthew**

Oh, okay. Thanks! So I wanted to ask you, and this is totally inappropriate, if you'd want to get a drink sometime?

Once again, Marissa was taken by surprise. She stopped, looking at him for a moment as though she hadn't heard him correctly. It wasn't all that often that she noticed when men were attracted to her. She didn't have the radar for it, and usually relied on Summer to point it out. It wasn't that she was completely unaware that she was a little more than attractive. Something she wasn't sure how to feel about yet, having resented it because she had used it as a form of self destruction when she had lured women into bed after her messy break up, and after the accident in Newport. But it definitely wasn't something she flaunted around.

**Marissa**

Drinks? Oh, erm…you're right, that is kinda inappropriate. I am your boss.

**Matthew**

I know, and I'm sorry, I just had to give it a shot. I just think you're really beautiful, and…

**Marissa**

I really appreciate that Matthew. But I'm already dating someone.

She cut him off, not wanting him say anything else in case he felt like a fool after she told him she was dating someone. Matthew had been here for around six months now, so it surprised her that he was hitting on her. Usually, it was the new staff that tried doing that, if they got up the courage to do so. Being the boss helped stop that. But he had been here long enough to know about her sexuality, which she didn't bother to cover up.

**Matthew**

Yeah, I figured as much. You don't know until you try, right? That way, you don't regret anything when you look back.

**Marissa**

Well, look on the bright side; I know that Lacy from finance is into you.

She replied enthusiastically, flailing her free hand. She smiled as he perked up a little at her information. She had been waiting to hear from the rumour mill that Matthew and Lacy were dating, but she guessed, from the hopeful look, that he hadn't realised that Lacy liked him.

**Matthew**

Really, she is? She's gorgeous.

**Marissa**

I know, tell me about it.

Not managing to catch herself in time, her thought tumbled out of her mouth. Cringing awkwardly, she rolled her eyes, mentally kicking herself.

**Marissa**

Damnit.

Matthew just nodded slowly, smirking as the penny dropped inside his eyes.

**Matthew**

I get it. God I feel like such a fool. I didn't know you were…

**Marissa**

Gay? You can say it you know. It's not a secret, don't worry about it. I just didn't want to make you feel bad.

**Matthew**

You're like, the nicest boss ever!

Marissa just laughed, hefting her stuff in her arms.

**Marissa**

Thanks. About Lacy, you should definitely ask her out. She's a really nice girl.

**Matthew**

I think I will. Thanks Marissa.

She nodded and then chuckled to herself as Matthew practically skipped away, whistling to himself happily as he slipped out of the glass door of the conference room. Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, she couldn't help but wonder if that was how she had been acting lately. Then, as she started to make her own way out of the room and down the hall toward her office, she looked at her phone as it vibrated again.

_**I'll bring desert.**_

Grinning as she rounded the corner, she flicked her phone shut and put it on top of the folder case she was carrying. Slowing down briefly as she pushed the glass door to her assistant's office that doubled as a small waiting room, she looked over at the woman that she had come to value significantly. Leslie, who was old enough to be her Mother, was an absolute saviour. She reminded her to eat, calmed her down, ran around the floors getting things together, argued with people and did all the amazing things assistants did every day.

**Marissa**

Leslie could you get Annie Thomas on the phone please?

**Leslie**

Of course.

She heard Leslie pick up the phone immediately as she opened her office door to find a container of salad, a sandwich and a drink sitting waiting for her on the desk from one of her favourite places down the street.

**Marissa**

I love you Leslie!

She shouted back over her shoulder before her door could close, smiling as she heard a faint chuckle from the older woman. Walking over and putting her stuff down, noting to herself that she needed to get Leslie something nice and shiny for looking after her so well she started opening the sandwich. A moment later, she picked up the phone as the call was put through.

**Marissa**

Annie? Hi, it's Marissa Cooper…


	8. The Fun In Exploration

**Chapter Eight – The Fun In Exploration **

**Marissa's house 8:15pm**

After a frantic over clean of the house, despite the fact it had already been tidy, Marissa had concentrated on getting ready for her date with Alex. She had gone to the store to make sure she had enough to drink, and picked up a couple of other essentials. Like food. Making dinner for someone was always easier if you had food handy. Then, after she had got back and started the dinner preparations, she had jumped in the shower, done her hair and then fussed over what to wear for a while. After realising she needed to just pick something and get dressed, she chose one of her oldest, but favourite black dresses. It was casual, floaty and slightly new age looking, but still sexy and unique. It looked like a dress she could put on for anything, so didn't look as though she had dressed up especially for dinner. Which is one of the reasons Marissa loved it.

Upon her return downstairs, Marissa had once again scrutinised her home. She had lit some soft lamps, as well as some candles, making it warm and inviting, and also personal. After picking some CD's, she popped them into the CD changer rack and pressed play and then headed back into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of wine before checking the food in the oven, managing to take a mouthful before hearing the doorbell. Alex was here.

On her way to the front door, as the butterflies flapped in her stomach, Marissa fussed at her hair, trying to make one last ditch attempt to make sure it looked okay. An excited, electric buzz throbbed through her, but so did the nerves. This was the first time Alex had come over. It was a big thing. She didn't want to make a really bad impression, or come off as snobby either. She wanted things to be perfect. She wanted to show more of herself to Alex.

**Marissa**

Hey.

Marissa smiled widely as she swung the door open, her eyes practically glowing as she feasted on the sight that was Alex. She was so beautiful. And that smile, those eyes, Marissa thought they would honestly be the death of her. But at least a really, really good death. Alex was wearing a pair of blue, fitted jeans with a soft white top with black flowery swirls on it. Her golden blonde hair was half up, half down, and for the millionth time since they had met, Marissa had to resist the urge to touch it.

**Alex**

Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. It's your fault though, you give crappy directions!

Marissa laughed as she stood aside, almost forgetting to let Alex inside with all her drooling. Turning around, she nodded lightly in agreement with Alex's statement.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I know. Ask me to run a company, I can do it. Ask me how to get from your house to mine, not so much!

Alex chuckled, not being able to refuse the urge to look around as Marissa closed the door again. Outside in the car, she had checked the address that Marissa had text her earlier in the day. The house was big. One of those houses set back with no neighbours to overlook. One of the houses she knew just had to have cost a lot, since its design and architecture were breathtaking. Then she had remembered that Marissa was also a Newport girl. This was probably nothing to her. Plus, she did run her own company. It's not like she couldn't afford a fancy place like this.

On the inside, it was a little different from what Alex was expecting. It was sophisticated, and welcoming. That much she had predicted. But there were so many subtle undertones running through it, already Alex could tell how personal it was. She knew that Marissa had worked hard to make sure those subtle undertones stayed subtle. Maybe so that she could put herself on display, without people really picking it up. There was nothing like hiding things in plain sight. But Alex was an expert at doing that too.

**Alex**

Wow…this place is huge.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I know it's a little big for one but I just fell in love with it.

**Alex**

I can see why, it's beautiful.

Alex replied sincerely, focusing a powerful attention back onto Marissa. It pleased her that it made the brunette fluster a little, but in a good way. She liked having that affect on her.

**Marissa**

You want me to show you around?

**Alex**

Oooh, there's a tour?

Marissa laughed as Alex widened her eyes playfully giddy, shifting on the balls of her feet as she did. The nerves had begun to settle now, making their presence less known. It just felt good, having Alex here. She supposed she should have felt exposed. She didn't bring just anybody into her house, on account of it being such a personal little bubble. There were things she had on display, that should have made her feel too vulnerable. But she didn't.

**Marissa**

Of course.

Alex leaned in slightly, adopting a playfully perverted glint in her eyes as she smirked lopsidedly.

**Alex**

Do I get to see your bedroom?

Marissa laughed, amused by the seductive, low but teasing question. She enjoyed Alex's playful side. And even though she was indeed playing, Marissa still felt a shiver shoot through her spine. Having Alex and bedroom in the same thought caused a hot sensation throughout her.

**Marissa**

Maybe, if you tell me something nice is in that box.

Marissa replied, deciding that two could play at Alex's game and adopting an innocent but tempting look as she replied just as seductively. She saw the subtle reaction in Alex, one that she tried to hide, but failed.

**Alex**

Raspberry cheesecake?

She offered hopefully, holding up the box and suddenly hoping that Marissa liked cheesecake. Right now it seemed like the most important thing in the world.

**Marissa**

Then yes, you get to see my bedroom.

Not being able to help herself for any longer, Marissa leaned in and took Alex's mouth, initiating a deep kiss. She let one hand rest on the side of the blonde's face, and the other on her arm. It was sensational. Again, like the other times they had kissed, everything just dissolved. It became its own event. Its own phenomena. She could happily kiss Alex for the rest of her life.

**Alex**

Wow…okay…I gotta put this in the fridge or something before I drop it when you do something like that.

When air had become an issue, the two pulled back, panting. Alex looked at the brunette in awe, eyes widened a little, sparkling brightly. She smiled as Marissa laughed, and at the same time, wondered how she had managed to keep hold of the box. When Marissa kissed her, it was pretty much the only thing left in the world. The cheesecake was lucky.

**Marissa**

Follow me.

After Alex put the cheesecake into the fridge, Marissa took her on a tour of the house. They fell into an easy conversation on the way around, talking about the house, and the stuff Marissa had collected. At some point during their way around, the two had joined hands, not really remembering who had initiated it. Not that it mattered. It just felt good.

Alex did indeed get to see Marissa's room, to which she was very impressed. Actually, she was left suitably amazed with the whole house. It was so Marissa. So beautiful and comfortable, but deep and intense. Sophisticated but not lacking a playful streak, and obviously caring and passionate.

As they had come back downstairs, back into the kitchen, Marissa started to see to the food as Alex poured out a glass of wine for herself, and topped Marissa's up. She looked out of the patio windows, just managing to see the stretch of beach that Marissa's house overlooked.

**Marissa**

The only thing I can make is mac and cheese, and I can't even make it that well. I should have just ordered in.

Marissa muttered pitifully, wishing all of a sudden that she had never offered to cook. What had she been thinking? She had never been able to cook. And here she was, pulling a tray of mac and cheese out of the oven, which was now slightly burnt. She definitely should have ordered in. It made things worse that Alex was a kick ass chef that could create wonders with food. People paid her to feed them. This was starting to panic her; it started to feel like a disaster. But she turned her head, as she felt a hand on her arm. She looked straight onto those powerful ice blue orbs of hers, ones that calmed her down immediately.

**Alex**

Mac and cheese is fine, however you make it.

Alex protested gently and sincerely. She didn't want Marissa to think that she had to make her something special, didn't want her to go to any trouble. Cooking wasn't for everyone, and Alex could eat pretty much anything. It was the thought that counted.

Marissa smiles thankfully, leaning in to give Alex a short, gentle kiss. After that, she dished some of the mac and cheese up. As she carried the plates to the table, Alex carried their drinks. They settled down, and Alex didn't mention anything about the food being burnt, which Marissa was still somewhat embarrassed about. Still, as they eat, they once again slip into easy banter. First starting off with talking about music, then moving onto more serious subjects. Like the one they were on now.

**Marissa**

So, what did you think of your brothers new girlfriend?

**Alex**

I think she's really good for him. He's finally found someone that won't play mind games on him.

Alex enthused approvingly, thinking back to the change in her brother for the past couple of months. She had known that he had started seeing someone. He had talked about her, but Alex hadn't got the privilege of meeting her until the day at the beach. She knew that Ryan wanted to see where things were going with Emma first. And that he was cautious about introducing both her and Holly to any new woman in his life.

**Marissa**

He's had a few of those, huh?

Marissa asked, knowing what that was like. Emma seemed nice though, they had talked a lot at the beach. Actually they had tons in common, what with her being a publisher and Emma having her own bookstore.

**Alex**

Yeah, especially Holly's Mom. He would literally do anything for her, and she'd just make him run in circles. She dumped Holly on him and took off. She's better off without her around anyway; all she really needs is Ryan.

Alex explained, a slightly bitter tone seeping into her voice as she came to the subject of Holly's Mother. That had been a hard and complicated time for Ryan. Especially since Alex and Mara had never gotten along. Actually, hated one another would be more accurate. But Mara had held something over Ryan. Alex had only been able to watch helplessly as she watched her brother put his heart on his sleeve for this woman. And she had also watched helplessly as she had crushed it.

Still, Mara taking off after Holly was born was for the best. It had hurt Ryan, of course. He had been making plans. Starting their own home and what not. Only she was making plans to skip town, without the kid. Alex had waited, offering Ryan support and helping him deal with the aftermath. He had never let it affect Holly. He had always worked hard to be a good Father to her.

**Marissa**

I can see him being a good Dad.

Alex smiled as Marissa reflected her thoughts.

**Alex**

Yeah, he's amazing.

**Marissa**

You know, I bet he'd get on with Seth.

Marissa said thoughtfully, as though she hadn't even meant it to come out loud. Oddly enough, she really did think the two guys would get along. They were so very different, but they had underlying similarities which she thought they would bond over. As she looked at Alex properly, she saw the blonde narrowing her eyes, looking a little lost.

**Alex**

Seth?

**Marissa**

Yeah, Summer's husband. We grew up together too. That's who Mia's parents are. Mia has him wrapped around her little finger! I think it's a girl thing.

Marissa explained, a wry smirk coming to cover her lips. Seth complained about being under the thumb by his wife, and wrapped around his daughters finger, but she knew it was an empty complaint. He loved it. Anyone could tell how much, they made his life complete. They were his life.

Alex looked down and cleared her throat at the comment, but wishing she hadn't as she noticed that Marissa had noticed. But it had been a knee jerk reaction as a hard and bitter feeling filled her.

**Alex**

I think my Dad would tend to disagree there.

She muttered, just loud enough to be heard. Her heart throbbed inside of her, causing a loud noise of rushing blood to flow through her ears. It was a dangerous subject, because she by no means wanted to talk about it. She didn't want to bring her parents into this conversation. But here she was, running the risk of Marissa asking more about them, especially her Father, after a reaction like the one she had given.

**Marissa**

You don't get on?

Marissa narrowed her eyes, as she stared into Alex's. There was something there, something she couldn't pinpoint exactly. Apart from the hard and bitter look, that was. But there was much more hiding behind them, giving her the distinct feeling that there was some bad blood between Alex and her Dad. She could relate to that. But she was hoping she wouldn't have to. She didn't exactly feel like discussing her family circumstances right now.

**Alex**

Not really. How about you? You've never really mentioned family.

Alex cleared her throat again, pushing the memories that were floating into her head away. One in particular, that sent shivers down her body. Instead of delving into her past, her family, she turned the tables. She aimed for it to come out as casual, as though it would be the natural progression of a conversation. And it did sound somewhat like that. Plus, it was a valid observation. Marissa hadn't particularly mentioned any family since they had met. Alex was getting curious. But she saw an uncomfortable look shoot into Marissa's eyes, saw her physically clam up. She knew something was wrong instantly.

**Marissa**

You wouldn't be interested anyway. You ready for cheesecake?

Marissa replied curtly. Without looking at Alex, or giving her any time to answer, Marissa stood up from her seat and practically bolted out of the dining room and into the kitchen. Alex, unable to do anything else, just watched her go, gaining the feeling that family was a very tender issue all around. Once again clearing her throat, she stood up too and followed Marissa into the kitchen, not wanting to leave the air like it was.

The blonde businesswoman came to a stand, leaning lightly on the archway between the dining room and the kitchen. She shoved her hands into her pockets as she watched Marissa cut into the cheesecake, carving out two pieces and putting them onto plates. The air was still heavy, and what felt like flammable. Like one wrong move, or word, could set everything ablaze. And Alex noticed that Marissa seemed to be making an effort not to look at her.

**Alex**

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

The blonde broke the silence, figuring a sincere apology would be the best start. It was the last thing she had wanted to do. She liked Marissa, probably more than she should have at this stage in their courtship, she didn't want to push her away. But that's what she felt like she had done.

At hearing the apology, Marissa sighed and leant on the side of the counter, looking down at the tiled floor. There had been a whirlwind of thoughts running through her head, panic at having to answer Alex's question. She knew she would have to answer it at some point in time. But how did she get out of it now? It would be like saying she didn't trust her. That's when a thought cropped up into her mind, stopping the whirlwind. She looked over at Alex, who was still leaning in the archway, with a soft, apologetic look.

**Marissa**

No, I should be sorry. I can't expect you not to ask those sort of questions. I just…you know what you said when we went out?

**Alex**

About working up to the hard stuff?

**Marissa**

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I really like spending time with you, and I'm enjoying getting to know you. I just need some time to figure out how exactly I tell you about my past.

Alex smiled at Marissa's explanation, finding it extremely fitting for her own situation.

**Alex**

Hey, it's not like I'm a chatterbox about my past either. I have baggage too, and I'm doing the same as you. I get it. There's no need to rush. I'll be here when you're ready.

Nodding, relieved at Alex's understanding, Marissa began to feel the panic die down. Felt her stomach return to normal. It was a good feeling, having someone tell her she could take her time. Having someone understand. Her last girlfriend had been a bitch about things like that. She'd wanted to know everything when she had wanted to know. Not when Marissa had been ready. And the brunette didn't even want to get started on the string of failures and one night stands that had followed.

After they had cleared the air, the girls had settled down on the couch in the front living room. Again, they had begun to talk easily. Alex had started asking questions about what Marissa did at her company. So Marissa was happy to tell her. She told her all about the publishing side of things, the stuff to do with her specific job in the company. How she headed the editors that scouted for substantial material. The twisted, dark stories that people wrote. All the ins and outs of printing and other things. And also about Summer and Seth's job. How Summer handled the PR and many of the staff, whilst Seth coordinated the comic side of things. Not only signing comics on to publish, but creating his own. Of which they were all characters in. It had been after all of that, that the subject had turned onto Alex and her career.

**Marissa**

So, where did you learn to cook like that?

**Alex**

Well, when I was a kid there wasn't much to do in Chino. I started hanging out with a rough crowd and got into a little trouble. And then I met this guy.

She hesitated, glancing at Marissa and smirking a little as she saw the funny look she was giving her. The one with the sceptical raised eyebrow and weary eyes. The look most people gave her when she told them that. As though they all expected it to turn into a twisted horror story.

**Alex**

Not in a creepy way, he wasn't weird or anything. He gave me a job working in his kitchen. All I did at first was wash dishes. But it was kinda cool getting paid and he was an awesome cook so I got fed pretty well!

Marissa scoffed, not at all surprised to hear that there was food involved. If she wasn't cooking it, Alex was eating it. That much she had learnt very quickly. The way to Alex Kelly's heart was clearly through her stomach. And since they were sitting close, she gave the blonde a soft nudge.

Actually, they were more than sitting close. They were virtually sitting on each other's knees. Marissa had curled her legs underneath her as she had sat down, but as Alex had sat down beside her, she had pushed her feet under her thigh to keep them warm. As they had been talking, Alex had started running her fingers over the soft skin on Marissa's ankle. Then, as time went on and Marissa's limbs grew stiff she changed her position. This time she stretched her legs out over Alex's knees. It hadn't been long after that Alex had been running her hands over her legs softly. Without intention, Marissa didn't think the blonde even realised she was doing it at first. But she was enjoying the attention nevertheless.

**Marissa**

Trust you to follow the food!

**Alex**

Hey at least I'm not one of those girls that counts every single calorie. So anyway, I started taking an interest in cooking. So I learnt how to prepare the food, and eventually how to cook.

**Marissa**

So who was this guy that saved you from a life of delinquency?

**Alex**

His name was Sebastian. He was the first person, besides Ryan, that believed in me. I asked him once why he chose me, out of all the other kids he could have helped. He just said there was something there that he recognised.

**Marissa**

What happened to him?

**Alex**

He got cancer. He died almost 4 years ago. He left me everything he had. I owe him my life.

Alex replied, a gravity hidden in the softness of her voice as she recalled her rescuer. He had just been a good guy. Someone that had never had kids, but always wanted them. A guy that hated sitting back and doing nothing about the poverty and apathy that was engulfing the next generation. Alex had admired him so much, he had taught her a lot about life. She had grown up because of him. She had seen a future for herself because of him.

**Marissa**

Wow, it's hard to imagine that kind of generosity these days.

**Alex**

I know. He was just a kind old man who wanted to give someone a chance like someone had done for him. I'd like to do the same someday.

Sitting up, Marissa took one of Alex's hands and put the other one on the side of her face, pulling her closer so that she could kiss her. The atmosphere around them was intense, but comfortably so. She felt like Alex had let her see a side of her that wasn't often on show. Let her see the sadness she felt for Sebastian, and the lack of hope she had felt as a kid. But also, the kindness she had. The aspiration to help someone like her. Right then Marissa could see some of the qualities running through Alex. A decency that a lot of people lacked these days.

**Marissa**

And I'm sure you will.

They looked at one another, breathing becoming a little heavier as they studied each other's eyes. As though they were communicating only through them. They understood something more in each other then, something that they didn't need to say. It was Alex that moved first, pulling Marissa in for another kiss with the hand she had placed at the back of her neck. They had stayed like that, though moving into a more comfortable position, for some time. Content to enjoy just making out, exploring each other's mouths. Enjoying the warmth and passion of it all. Their hands had begun to roam a little. Alex's hand had found its way back to Marissa's legs, though had dared to venture a little higher this time as things got more heated. Marissa had let her hand wonder up her shirt. It was getting harder to stop. The sexual tension between them was getting hotter and hotter, and harder to resist. But eventually, they had stopped. In the late hours, before anything else happened.

**Wednesday **

**Two days later **

**Alex's house**

Marissa felt as though she was in heaven. Currently, sitting cross-legged on the floor in Alex's large bedroom, rifling through her record collection, she was beyond ecstatic. Carefully, she handled the pristine, extremely well cared for records that Alex kept upstairs, away from prying eyes outside, and chocolate covered fingers of certain little nieces.

They had hooked up around lunchtime, since it was Alex's day off and Marissa only had morning appointments, leaving the rest of the day free. So they had decided to get out and enjoy the sunshine, driving just out of town to find a quiet spot for a picnic. And they had managed it. They had found a quiet, beautiful little park that had been perfect and settled down quickly. And they had taken turns in reading to one another, from a book Marissa had brought from work that she had been told by one of her editors couldn't go unread. That was until, it had started raining. Very heavily.

That's how they had ended up at Alex's house, and soaked to the bone. It hadn't spoilt the mood of their day. Actually, they had been in hysterics trying to pick everything up to take to the car in the rain. And they had stopped to make out too. By the time they did reach the car, not one part of them had been dry. And since Alex's house was the nearest, they had decided to go get dry and changed there. So here she was. Showered and sitting in some of Alex's clothes, looking like a kid in a candy store as she drooled over the great collection of records.

**Marissa**

Oh my god. Will you marry me?

Alex laughed as she crossed her bedroom, having just finished her shower. As Marissa looked up, she put her hand over heart, giving the brunette a mock offended and hurt look.

**Alex**

You only want me for my record collection!

She whined pitifully, her hand running over the back of Marissa's head gently as she passed her by.

**Marissa**

Hell yes. Add it to mine and it'll be perfect.

She admitted freely, honestly thinking that their combined record collection would be something to marvel at. They both laughed as she picked another one out and lifted it up carefully, offering it out to Alex. The blonde took it, and moved over to the record player, taking the last one off and putting the new one on. Then, she made her way back over to Marissa and sat down next to her.

**Marissa**

So you really love your music.

**Alex**

It's my passion. Okay, one of my passions. But definitely essential.

Alex corrected herself. Music really was important to her. She considered it one of the fundamental necessities of life. For as long as she could remember, she had had a burning obsession with music, which had only intensified as she had gotten older. As she had, the more music she had become access to. Also, owning her own club didn't hurt. Live music was part of that passion and obsession. But, it wasn't her only one.

**Marissa**

One of your passions? Pray tell, what're the others?

Marissa whispered her voice so low that it quivered slightly. There was that tension there again. That electric pull that was becoming more and more forceful. Suddenly Marissa felt her head thicken with her desire, pointedly aware of how close Alex was. She didn't move, as she felt a hand slip around the bottom of her back, sending delightful sensations across her as Alex grazed across her skin. She didn't object either, as the blonde began leaning in.

**Alex**

Well, that would be telling now, wouldn't it?

**Thursday **

**The Purple Heart **

**2:15pm**

Finding a good-sized gap in her day, Marissa had given in to the urge to go and see Alex. Her body was still tingling from the heavy make out session that had occurred last night, complete with the heavy groping they had gotten up to. The groping that had left them in their underwear, hands exploring skin until they had finally ripped apart before anything more serious had happened. It wasn't a case that they didn't want to, because clearly, they wanted one another. But they both still knew that now was not quite the time yet.

So, Marissa strutted into the busy club, immediately liking the lively atmosphere inside. Diners and lunchtime drinkers were settled into their seats, with a few choosing to stand, chatting merrily and generally having a good time. The staff were having fun, and the kitchen staff were once again, dancing as they worked. That seemed to be a common theme. Currently, the overhead speakers was playing Basement Jaxx's 'Get Me Off', which Marissa thought kind of ironic.

Not seeing Alex through the glass wall to the kitchen, Marissa scanned the immediate vicinity for the woman that had been taking up all the thought space in her head recently. Pangs of anticipation, the good kind of anticipation, pumped through her as she ventured forward across to the oval shaped bar.

**Lisa**

Hey, what can I get you?

The pretty raven haired woman that had been the one to give her Alex's note and take Holly away the day of the apology lunch smiled at Marissa politely, eyes still sparkling from whatever she had been joking with the other bartender. Marissa reflected the smile.

**Marissa**

Hi. I'm actually looking for Alex.

**Lisa**

Oh, do you have an appointment?

Half frowning as she raised a surprised eyebrow, Marissa looked at Lisa oddly. Somehow, she had never expected her to say that. Probably because for some reason, she never expected Alex to be the appointment making type of girl. She was so different and quirky, and seemed so anti-establishment and easy going. It just never occurred to Marissa that she was also a businesswoman.

**Marissa**

She makes appointments?

She muttered out loud, now starting to smirk a little as she thought it was kind of cute. In a weird way. The brunette wondered if she was loosing her mind right around now. And the look she was getting from Lisa, she didn't think she was far wrong. Shaking her head to dismiss her own question, she flicked her hand to clear her head.

**Marissa**

It's nothing, sorry. And no, I don't have an appointment.

She finally answered. She watched Lisa look down on her, before taking in a slow breath and drawing her head back. Then, she lifted up her hand and pointed at her as she nodded to herself.

**Lisa**

Hey, I know you. You're the girl that left that note for her that time.

**Marissa**

Yeah, that's me. Marissa Cooper.

Offering her hand up to Lisa, she introduced herself warmly, and smiled as Lisa took it.

**Lisa**

I'm Lisa; it's nice to meet you. Yeah Alex has mentioned you Marissa. No appointments necessary!

**Marissa**

I'll take that as a good thing.

Lisa scoffed, looking at Marissa as though she had just won the Nobel Prize or something.

**Lisa**

Well let's put it this way, she's never given anyone but her brother that status. So yeah, I'm guessing it's kinda good.

**Marissa**

She gets pretty busy here huh?

Marissa wondered, looking around briefly. The place was huge, and it was open every single night. There were live bands, different themed nights, parties, then the restaurant side of it too. Marissa just began to grasp the enormity of it. The task that Alex faced in running such a place.

**Lisa**

Busy? Major understatement. We have something on every night, and then special events every week or so. It takes a stupid amount of planning, especially the live music nights. Then add on the restaurant, the security she has…well it's huge. 'Cos of course, you've got all the organising, networking, dealing and what not behind the scenes. She works like a dog.

**Marissa**

She does it all on her own?

**Lisa**

No, she's got two assistant managers, who have their own assistant each. They're a crack team. But you know, at the end of the day, the entire club is hers. She still has to know everything, sign everything, and approve everything.

**Marissa**

Jesus.

**Lisa**

So what do you do?

Marissa looked back up at Lisa, smirking wryly.

**Marissa**

I run my own company! A publishing house.

Laughing, Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head. Trust Alex to find someone as busy as she was.

**Lisa**

Typical! So, the boss is in her office with her minions.

**Marissa**

Oh, she's in a meeting? I don't want to interrupt.

**Lisa**

Actually I think they're almost done, I don't think she'll mind. Go up.

Lisa pointed up to the door of Alex's office, and Marissa followed the direction with her eyes until she saw it herself. Turning back, she once again smiled at the other woman.

**Marissa**

Thanks Lisa.

**Lisa**

Anytime.

Lisa watched silently as Marissa pushed herself off from leaning on the bar, walking toward the base of the stairs. She couldn't help but let her eyes follow, tipping her head slightly to get a good, unobstructed view.

**Lisa**

_Damn_!

Having climbed up the stairs, and travelled down the walkway and looking around on the upper level, Marissa came to halt at the door that had a plaque stating 'manager' on it. Taking in a short, shallow breath as a small pang of nerves hit her, she tapped on the door timidly. She wasn't sure whether this was okay or not. Showing up unannounced at the club when Alex was working. Even though Lisa had told her it was okay, and Alex seemed to have let her know it was okay to send her up. If she was in a meeting, maybe it wasn't okay. But it was too late to worry about that now.

Cautiously, Marissa twisted the door handle and opened it just enough to stick her head through the gap. Maybe if she let Alex know she was here, she could go and wait at the end of the walkway where there were some couches and tables.

She saw four people, probably her assistants, sitting in various places around the spacious office before she saw Alex. They all seemed to be focusing on their boss quietly, and a serious vibe floated through the air. After only sticking her head through the door, Marissa could tell that there was something awry. She didn't need to see Alex for that, but her eyes sought her out anyway. And when they did, she took in how pissed off the blonde looked as she sat at her desk, listening to someone on the phone, a huge scowl creasing her features. Her blue/grey eyes sent a shiver down Marissa's spine, having never seen them quite like that before. So cold and angry, feral almost. It actually struck an uncomfortable note in her, that's how powerful they were.

But as Alex looked up, noticing someone in the doorway, and locked eyes with her, Marissa saw her eyes change quickly. The coldness disappeared, turning instead into affection and even relief. It sent the uncomfortable feeling away, replacing it with a warmer sensation. Marissa was glad that she took that look away from Alex. Glad to see that she seemed to want her there. But she still cringed, feeling guilty for trespassing. Quickly, she lifted a hand to indicate that she would wait outside, but stopped as Alex shook her head and waved her in. This had gained the interest of the others, who were now looking at her curiously.

Still, she stepped inside sheepishly, leaning up against the door as she shut it quietly. She offered Alex's 'minions' a weak smile, before they refocused their attention back onto Alex, who by now was shaking her head in disbelief.

**Alex**

This is fucking unbelievable Joey. No, don't tell me to calm down. Do I sound like I give a shit? I cannot believe you've fucked me over like this. I don't want to hear your excuses. You sold out man, I was there when you were getting off the ground and you drop me like it's nothing? I really hope it was worth it, because you just burnt your bridge with me.

Slamming the phone down after her irate speech she stared at it for a moment. No one moved in that moment, as if scared if they did it would make a bad situation worse. But as Alex slammed the desk with her fist, everyone jumped.

**Alex**

Fuck! This could _not _have happened at a worse time.

**Piper**

It's not that bad.

The redheaded woman tried to sooth, flinching as Alex glared at her quickly, flailing her hand into the air.

**Alex**

How? How isn't it? Joey was my biggest vendor, and I have a fucking pride party to cater for next week. Not to mention the day to day orders.

Alex demanded, shouting loudly. Then, she closed her eyes and took in a couple of breaths, visibly trying to calm herself down. She knew that shouting at the people that were only trying to help her wouldn't do any good. It wasn't their fault that the biggest supplier to the club had now abandoned her, leaving her with no one to order most of the food and alcohol and a few other things from. It was a disaster. And it was more than a work disaster, she felt let down on a personal level. She had taken a chance with Joey, she could have chosen more established vendors in the business, but she had picked him because he was a friend. And now he had stabbed her in the back, pulling out without any warning.

**Richard**

Alex?

Alex opened her eyes again, looking at her assistant as he dared to break the uneasy silence in the room. She was still pissed off, but looked somewhat calmer now. At least, calm enough that she wasn't about to rip anyone's head off.

**Alex**

Yes Richard?

**Richard**

I know a guy. I can hook us up with him, no problem.

Raising a questioning eyebrow, Alex looked across at Richard wearily.

**Alex**

A legit guy Richard?

She wondered, wanting to make sure. Not that she thought he would suggest a less than above board supplier. But this was L.A. Things were competitive, this business was cut throat. Literally. You had to be careful who you jumped into business matrimonial with. It had been another reason that she had picked Joey to supply her club.

**Richard**

Yeah, Peter Forrester. He's been after your business since you started.

Narrowing her eyes, Alex thought back to the guy Richard was referring to. She hadn't thought about him in some time now. After a lot of trying to get her to give her business to him instead of Joey, he had eventually given up trying after she refused. He had a good reputation, and he had been one of her original choices.

**Alex**

I remember. You think he can take up the slack straight away?

**Richard**

Yeah, I can give him a call. I know him, he's a friend.

**Alex**

You're sure? We don't have a lot of time here Rich.

**Richard**

Trust me Al, this is why you hired me remember?

**Alex**

Right. Yes, tell Peter Forrester that I'm interested. And Piper?

**Piper**

Yes boss?

**Alex**

Do _not _let those sound technicians leave this club without making absolutely sure they fix that crackle. I don't _do_ crackle in my music.

**Piper**

I don't think that will be a problem. The company sent two of the straightest guys I've ever seen. They like being amongst the lesbians!

Marissa still stood silently at the door, quite enjoying the show that unfolded before her. She kind of liked seeing Alex in her boss mode. It was yet another side of her that she had to discover, something new.

**Alex**

Well let's make sure they pay as much attention to the system as their horrid little fantasies. Oh, and will you take the meeting with Kay for the radio announcements for the party? I have something on my schedule.

Alex didn't neglect her managerial duties very often, but she decided to do so now. The something on her schedule was Marissa, since she had appeared just now. Alex was supposed to be going across town to a late lunch meeting to discuss the Pride party announcements. It was an exciting time. Pride in L.A was something to be admired, and Alex always enjoyed the pressure of being one of the best clubs to celebrate it. It was, of course, a lot of work though. But she trusted her second hands to do a good job; otherwise she wouldn't have hired them. And right now, just sitting back and having a break sounded pretty good to her. Working flat out was starting to catch up with her a little bit.

**Piper**

Not a problem.

Piper agreed, picking up a couple of files and standing up. Her assistant, a young blonde man, Charlie, stood up with her.

**Richard**

If that's it for now I'm gunna go get some balls moving.

As Richard also stood up, everyone looked at him oddly. For a moment, he wondered why. Then, he thought about what he had just said. As his cheeks flushed a soft pink, he rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

**Richard**

I didn't mean it like that. You people are perverted!

He accused good naturedly. He took a lot of teasing working here, considering that he was one out of three staff members that weren't actually gay or bisexual. He didn't mind it though; he knew no one meant anything. He enjoyed the easy flowing banter between all the staff, and it didn't threaten his manhood when the other guys pretended to come onto him, or fought over him. He often joked about it himself. The truth was, he just enjoyed having a good, challenging job and working with good people. Alex was a great boss, and he had room to use his own initiative. Plus, the club was one of the best around. They had worked hard to make it so, and get it noticed. And that hard work was starting to pay off now. Getting featured in magazines and hot spot guides. Not just for the gay population, but everywhere. Everyone was welcome here.

**Alex**

It's why you fit in Richard. And yeah, we're done for now.

Everyone but Alex stood up, and Charlie moved toward her with some papers on a clipboard.

**Charlie**

Alex, these are the orders from the kitchen and the bar. You need to approve them.

Rubbing her forehead slowly, Alex reached out and took the clipboard from him.

**Alex**

Okay Charlie.

Marissa watched, interested, and noticed how tired Alex sounded. She saw her rifle through the papers, signing where she needed to, barely looking at the words on the paper. Then, she smiled flatly as she handed it back, before swinging her attention onto Marissa.

**Alex**

Hey.

**Marissa**

Hey.

**Alex**

Sorry about all of that. Working out a few kinks. Erm, this is my managerial staff. Piper and Richard are my second in commands and Charlie and Laurence are senior staff managers. Guys this is Marissa.

Marissa waved and smiled politely as the four employees said hello, and moved out of the way of the door so that they could leave. She watched as they filed out, ready to go about their business. Then, she turned around as she heard Alex move from behind her desk, and saw her making her way over. Right then is when she had a lot of empathy for the blonde. She looked beat, and she knew how that felt. When you were giving your work more than you actually had.

**Marissa**

Hard day at the office, huh?

Alex groaned, leaning forward into Marissa, relaxing as the brunette hugged her warmly and planted a soft kiss on the side of her head. She let out a sigh, thankful that she was here.

**Alex**

There is _so _much to do for the Pride party next week. Doesn't help that one of my biggest vendors just cut my business to cater solely for a bigger company.

**Marissa**

You seem to have everything under control though. It'll be fine.

**Alex**

I know. Hey, what're you doing here in the middle of the working day anyway? Shouldn't you be doing CEO-ish things?

Marissa laughed as Alex pulled back, taking her hand and leading her to the large, soft leather couch toward the back of the large office. Marissa had scanned the room as she had been standing by the door, taking in how warm it was. Obviously, Alex spent a lot of time here. There were some personal stuff here and there, pictures and what not, and she had noticed the blankets and pillows poking out from behind the couch, so assumed that sometimes Alex just stayed here after working so late. There was a large coffee table in the centre of the room, with some chairs and a couple of overstuffed armchairs.

**Marissa**

My mid afternoon appointment cancelled. I have to be back by 4 though. Got a meeting with the houses' lawyers.

**Alex**

Sounds thrilling.

**Marissa**

Not really. Our team of lawyers are all middle aged, super boring, academic conservative types. And I'm the one that gets the special quality time with them.

Marissa scoffed, thinking about how much fun it wouldn't be in that meeting. She hated feeling so damn uncomfortable around them. Not so much that it let it affect her, and she didn't show the signs of weakness to them. She acted like their boss as she should. But secretly, they just reminded her of the conservative clones from Newport, something she had aspired to get away from.

**Alex**

The conservatives and the gay girl, that's actually cheered me up!

Alex chuckled, stroking through some of Marissa's soft brown hair. She only received a nudge and a pout for her efforts.

**Marissa**

Hey, you're supposed to feel sorry for me.

**Alex**

Awww, I do. Why'd you hire them anyway?

**Marissa**

They're the best at what they do.

It was the ironic part of course, that it had been Marissa herself that had hired the lawyers, despite how uncomfortable she felt around them. It had been a sacrifice she had made for the publishing house, since they were indeed the best at what they did. They were almost like machines, actually. So she lived with it.

**Alex**

I never really realised the inordinate amount of work that goes behind a publishing house before I met you.

**Marissa**

Well I never really realised the inordinate amount of work that goes behind a club/restaurant before I met you.

**Alex**

I guess it's a good job we met then, for educating purposes of course.

Marissa snickered playfully as Alex moved to tuck one of her legs underneath herself. Leaning forward, Marissa took the opportunity to steal a slow, tempting kiss as her hand slid up Alex's leg, underneath her skirt to her inner thigh. She enjoyed the intake of breath is caused the blonde, as well as a slight groan and squirm.

**Marissa**

What else do you plan on teaching me exactly?

She asked seductively, pulling away just enough to whisper in Alex's ear. Again, she felt Alex squirm, and she definitely liked the feeling of being the cause of it. She let Alex pull away a little bit; to look at her intently, then place her hands on the side of her face. She also enjoyed the attention as Alex stroked her thumb down her cheek and over her lips slowly.

**Alex**

I'm really looking forward to finding out.

Alex replied, before moving in to kiss Marissa again.


	9. The Night

**Chapter Nine - The Night**

**Thursday **

**1 week later **

**The Purple Heart**

Marissa smiled at the huge security doorman that loomed over everyone at the front entrance of The Purple Heart. She hadn't been able to check out a whole lot of Pride, but from what she had seen, it had been wonderful. Seemingly, everyone was having a great time. She had seen the parade on TV, watched the floats and the outdoor festivities. She had taken off work a little early, in order to get home and changed so she could hit the scene too. After walking around a little bit, talking to a few people and meeting a couple of friends, as the evening began to move in, she headed toward the club. She had split up with her friends now, as they had decided to go home to change and come back again. They had parted with the agreement to hook up at The Purple Heart, yet to discover that Pride wasn't the only reason Marissa was going.

As she stepped inside, a rush of heat hit her quickly. The excitement in the air flew at her too, surrounding her so she couldn't escape. It wasn't a bad feeling. The raw emotions from the club goers was somewhat addictive. They cheered and laughed, talked and danced. The club was decked out beautifully; special decorations and lights had been put up for the occasion. Tonight there were three DJ's an MC and a various amount of live acts to be enjoyed, and the crowd was certainly enjoying themselves.

Looking through the masses of people, Marissa didn't spot anyone she knew. So, she did what she always did, aimed for the bar. It was always easiest to meet people at the bar. So she began pushing her way through lots of scantily clad, butchly clad and girly clad women. Actually, there were a lot of differently clad women about, which was an eye opening experience. They outnumbered the men in the joint by far, but no one seemed to care. They just went with the beat of the music.

**Woman**

Hey there hot stuff. Wanna dance?

Marissa stopped in her tracks as her path was blocked by a smaller woman, wearing jeans with a grey t-shirt and a checked waistcoat. She was sporting a rather short crew cut, and gave Marissa a sickeningly perverted smile that made her stomach turn. She had butch friends, quite a few actually. What was unnerving was the sordid look in the woman's eyes, as she was obviously thinking about all the things she wanted to do to her. Marissa quickly shook her head.

**Marissa**

No, thank you.

She replied, scuttling off, a little afraid that she would be followed. As she made her escape, her heart almost burst with joy as she spotted Emma standing by the bar. The redhead seemed to have been watching her, and offered her a smile as she waved as their eyes connected. Marissa smiled and waved back, moving a little faster to get to her new found friend before the uber butch lesbian could come onto her again.

**Emma**

Hi, I'm so glad you're here. I felt such a moron standing on my own.

Emma shouted over the music, welcoming Marissa with a large hug. They had spent quite a lot of time together over the past week. Marissa had been dropping by the club a lot, over lunch or after work if Alex was on a shift. She had also been to her house for dinner a couple of nights, and hung out with Ryan and Emma.

**Marissa**

Yeah I know I hate that.

**Emma**

Oh my god Marissa, you look outstanding.

Emma cooed as she stood Marissa back, still holding onto her arms as she looked her up and down. The brunette was sporting a long, white dress with black leather straps, and black leather arm wraps to match. Some kind of designer dress, she could tell. And she had waved her hair slightly, putting part of it up with a black ribbon. Her make up was simple, along with her silver jewellery. Such an understated look made a massive impact. She really did look stunning. But Emma noticed the hopeful, and slightly nervous look in her eyes.

**Marissa **

I do? Really? 'Cos this is the first time I've had a chance to dress up around Alex. I wanted to create an impression.

Scoffing, Emma flipped a hand, already knowing what kind of an impression she was going to create for Alex. She had watched the pair of them as they had hung out together. Had seen them dancing around one another, barely managing to suppress what they clearly wanted to happen between them.

**Emma**

Yeah well I'm thinking you might create a little more than that!

Marissa grinned happily at Emma's statement, satisfied that the dress would do the trick. It better have done, she had bought it especially for tonight. And it was a lot harder than people thought, shopping for the perfect item.

Marissa wiggled her finger up and down the length of Emma's body, looking at her vibrant, beautiful dress. It had splashes of colours across it, pinks, whites, oranges and black in gorgeous patterns. A dress that many people wouldn't have been able to pull off, but Emma did perfectly.

**Marissa**

Thank you. You look totally hot in that dress, it really suits you.

She gushed sincerely, before thinking about what she had just said which caused her to cringe and look at the slightly shorter woman apologetically.

**Marissa**

Oh my god I didn't mean it to sound like I was coming onto you.

Emma, once again, flicked a hand as she shook her head.

**Emma**

Oh come on don't be silly. I'm not one of those women who think they're being hit on all the time. Lesbians don't scare me.

Laughing, Marissa nodded, an easy feeling slipping into her again. She knew how some women could get. If they were looked at the wrong way, they thought she was hitting on them. If she gave them a compliment, she wanted to sleep with them. Marissa thought if she had a dollar for every time a woman thought that that she wasn't even interested in, she could start up another company.

**Marissa**

Good to know. Do you want a drink?

As Emma nodded, they turned to the bar and waited to be served. Despite the rush, the bartenders kept a happy momentum going. Often singing along and swaying to the music as they poured and served drinks. They didn't let the rush of work spoil their fun, which Marissa admired them for. As they ordered and received the drinks, they turned back to the crowd as the crowd clapped and cheered at the MC. Both of them watched, amused, as he joked around, preparing to introduce the next artist onto the stage.

It was then, that Marissa saw Alex. She was stood just off of the stage at the side, laughing at something a girl with a guitar was saying. Then, as the MC called the girl onto the stage, Alex gave her a supportive tap on the arm, before turning away and slipping down to the stairs. It was round about then that Marissa didn't think she could breathe, completely in awe of what the blonde was wearing.

Alex had on a just above knee length black skirt, complete with a slit up the side, along with a woman's black dinner jacket. There was no shirt underneath it, just a black bra that peeped out, showing off just how incredibly sexy Alex was. Adding to the raw look, she wore a black silk tie, fishnet stockings and a pair of black boots with a black trilby hat. Her hair was tied up to one side, and there was black mascara making her eyes even more distinctive and penetrating than they usually were. Everything combined, Alex was simply the hottest girl in the club, and despite the fact she didn't look like she knew it, everyone else around her seemed to.

**Emma**

You have to remember to breathe!

Emma whispered in her ear, obviously amused by her reaction, but nevertheless making her realise that she did indeed need to breathe. As she dragged in a ragged breath of hot air, still boring a hole into Alex, the blonde looked over at her. Marissa still couldn't move, unable to do anything but watch as Alex stopped in her tracks, obviously having the same reaction she had had just a moment ago.

Mentally forcing herself back into reality, Alex made herself start to move again. With her eyes never moving off of Marissa, she closed the distance between them, not even noticing the customers that crossed her path. All she concentrated on was the brunette before her, who she fell into a hungry, urgent kiss with. As their mouths connected, something shifted inside of her, and she could virtually feel the same thing in Marissa. Something had changed, and as their mouths fused together and tongues duelled, there was a feeling of knowing running between them. Knowing that something had shifted into the correct place, and knowing that they were ready.

**Marissa**

Don't work too hard; you're so coming home with me tonight.

Marissa whispered directly into Alex's ear, still leaning in so close that their bodies were pushed together. Both of them were panting slightly, having had to rip their mouths apart due to the lack of oxygen. Marissa pulled back a little, a detectable evil glint shining in her eyes, as to which Alex only smiled at and reflected. Then, she offered out a hand to the brunette.

**Alex**

Dance with me?

Noticing that Ryan had walked past them, Marissa accepted the offer and took Alex's hand. Now that she knew Emma wouldn't be alone, she let Alex weave her throughout the throng of people on the dance floor. The beat of the band vibrated right into her, as the slow, sensual feeling seeped into her. The only thing she could concentrate on though, was Alex.

They stayed there for most of the night, dancing together to whatever happened to be played. It didn't really matter. They took the opportunity to dance together; there was a lot of grinding, and a lot of teasing. Silently, they worked each other up, never saying a word as they communicated through their bodies, their movements and their mouths.

**Later that night Marissa's house**

They couldn't bare not to touch one another. As they tumbled in through Marissa's front door, drunk off the atmosphere, they managed not to break away. Alex's hand was still on the side of Marissa's face, her other on her arm. Marissa's hand was on Alex's side, the other holding the key in the door which she yanked out and tossed onto the side table as she flung her bag in the same direction. With both her hands completely free now, she pulled Alex against her and fell into another hungry, heated kiss. It was urgent, and aggressive and it was making her throb everywhere. Alex was filling her senses, and she was pretty sure Alex was feeling the same way about her.

As they began to stumble through the dark house, toward the stairs, they laughed into each other a little as they bumped into things, their actions messy and slurred. The stairs were hard to tackle, as their hands roamed one another, their mouths refused to pull apart but did as one or both of them stumbled. Alex ended up falling on Marissa a couple of times, making them both laugh but intimately so. It did nothing to take the charge out of the air. It just gave them the opportunity to explore each other as they remained sprawled on the stairs for a few minutes, hands travelling along things and under tops.

Finally they managed to make it to Marissa's bedroom, barrelling through the door quickly. By now, Alex had been shed of her hat and her tie, with Marissa feverishly working on her top. She pulled it off after managing to undue the buttons, and flung it into the darkness. Pulling her mouth away from the blonde's, she immediately moved onto her neck, causing the blonde to moan a little bit, especially as she added her fingernails running over the small of her back in. She liked the way Alex felt, and loved the way she responded to her. It was intoxicating.

Alex didn't stay submissive though. She retook Marissa's mouth forcefully, before pushing the straps of the dress down her shoulders, pushing it down to help it fall off of the brunette's body. She pushed Marissa up against the door after kicking it shut, taking her turn to kiss and nip down her neck as she held her hands to the door, making her squirm. But she didn't stop Marissa from breaking free, moving her hands down to remove both the blonde's skirt, and fishnet stockings, running her fingers up the length of her leg as she did, causing a shiver to run through her almost lover.

Left in only their underwear, they duelled for dominance with one another's mouths again as Marissa pushed them in the direction of the bed. Before she managed to push Alex down first, she found that the chef spun them around, instead placing her down, and crawling over her. For a moment, everything stopped. As Alex hovered over Marissa, they panted and locked eyes, the intensity running through both of them.

**Marissa **

I need to ask you something.

Marissa whispered, still out of breath as she looked up at Alex's beautiful eyes, which were ablaze with everything she was feeling. The blonde nodded, panting too, as she ran her fingers through a stray strand of brunette, silky hair, pushing it out of Marissa's face.

**Alex **

Okay…

**Marissa **

I know your gay, but you've been with other women before…right?

**Alex **

This is an interesting moment to ask me that.

**Marissa **

I know, it's ridiculous, I'm sorry. I do know in my head that you have. I just…I've been someone's experiment before and I don't intend on going there again.

She explained softly, letting her eyes slip to the side, wondering if she had completely ruined the moment between them. It was a stupid, irrational fear. Of course she knew Alex had been with other women. But her fear of being hurt again overrode her rationality briefly. She guessed she just needed to hear it.

Alex put her fingers on Marissa's chin, gently moving her head back so she looked up at her again. Then, leaning down, she kissed her again. Not as urgently, but still as fervently and meaningfully.

**Alex **

Marissa, I've been a fully-fledged member of the club since I was 13 years old! You are far from an experiment for me.

**Marissa **

Good. I'm sorry…I just had to check. I…

**Alex **

It's okay. She hurt you. I understand. It happened to me too.

**Marissa **

Well now I know I'm playing with a pro, can we stop talking about this and get back to the game?

The brunette flirted seductively, not wanting to think about the past right now. The mood she had momentarily left behind came back to her, and she smirked as Alex gave her a mischievous look. The anticipation of what was about to happen was overwhelming.

**Alex **

You're so gunna pay for calling me a pro!

**Later**

She wasn't sure how much time had passed exactly, but Marissa put it at a couple of hours at least. A couple of fantastic, mind blowing hours that she wouldn't mind reliving for the rest of her life. Alex was everything and so much more than she had expected her to be. Marissa was aware, had been told, that she was hard to keep up with in bed. She even scared people with her intensity. But Alex had matched her in every way, enjoying it rather than being afraid of it. She had her own intensity, making it an interesting duel between them. They had explored one another thoroughly, gotten inside each other. They had panted and moaned in ecstasy all the while begging for more. Everything had been full on, intense and devouring, without loosing the sense of care and connection.

Now, they were laid facing one another, still wide awake and basking in the afterglow of being fucked by someone that meant something, happy just kissing and touching softly. Alex leant more onto her front, while Marissa was on her side with her hand propping her head up, as the other traced the tattoo on the small of the blonde's back gently. The symbolism of fire and water, which was simple yet so stunning at the same time.

**Marissa**

This is so beautiful.

**Alex**

Thank you.

Alex was mesmerised by the look in Marissa's eyes, as the brunette gazed over her. She could feel herself, right in this very moment, feel herself slipping further and further into Marissa's web, where she wanted to be. Right now it didn't scare her, that she was thinking how easy it was to let herself fall. It didn't scare her that she thought how right it felt to think how easy it would be to love this woman. They had so much between them already. And after tonight their connection would be stronger. It was now.

Marissa trailed her fingertips up Alex's spine, eliciting a small shiver, to trace over the yellow and orange tribal tattoo of the Phoenix. It was beautiful, and it had spiked her interest when she had seen it at the beach.

**Marissa**

Are you grasping for immortality?

**Alex**

No, I'm grasping for re-invention.

Frowning softly, Marissa let her eyes move from the tattoo and into Alex's. She felt so comfortable, lying here with her. Everything seemed soft, and she knew something had changed between them. She had never felt particularly comfortable like this after sex. Especially when it came to her ex. By now she would usually have put something on, feeling too exposed or reckless. As though she lost her confidence after it was over, because she knew how she could scare women away. But she didn't feel like that with Alex. The blonde had tried to devour her too, had managed. It felt good not to have to restrain herself; already she felt that level of trust.

**Marissa**

What do you mean?

**Alex**

It's their as a reminder of how the person I was before died and who I am now came into being. If that makes any sense at all?

**Marissa**

It sorta does. Like, how you've been forced to re-invent yourself at certain points of your life? Like, when there's a huge change?

**Alex**

Yeah, that's it. The Phoenix rose out of the ashes completely new. Kinda like I had to.

**Marissa**

I think it's beautiful. I think you're beautiful.

Leaning in, she kissed Alex softly, showing her through her action how sincere she was. As she pulled back slightly, she pushed the blonde a little, making her move onto her back. She trailed her hand down the length of her body, between her breasts, over her toned stomach and stopped at her abdomen, where the words of Latin rested.

**Marissa**

'Brivium virtutis et vitii'. What does it mean? Is it Latin?

Marissa wondered, letting her fingers trace the tattoo as she stared at it for a moment longer, before looking back toward Alex. She felt as though she were getting to know her more, about the mystery in her. She doubted she told a lot of people why she had the markings she had. She could see it in her eyes. She could see it now, as Alex looked down thoughtfully for a moment.

**Alex**

Yeah. It says ''the crossroads of virtue and vice.'' Which is a complicated reason that you can't pry out of me yet!

Alex responded, happy to give Marissa her answers to everything except that. Her reason behind that was wrapped up in one of the things she was working up to telling her. And even if she was ready to, now was certainly not the time. She looked at the brunette again, hoping that she hadn't offended her. But all she received was a look of acceptance.

**Marissa**

Okay, so last one.

Marissa said, moving her fingers to her arm, where the butterfly was. It made Alex chuckle, a foolish but fond look moving in over her.

**Alex**

I was drunk when I got that.

**Marissa**

No! Oh my god, they let you get it drunk? I thought that wasn't allowed?

**Alex**

It happens. I was 16 and the 'I hate my parents' was too expensive, so I settled for this.

**Marissa**

I prefer this. I like all of them actually.

**Alex**

Oh yeah?

She rolled back onto her side to face Marissa, quirking her eyebrow inquisitively. She responded immediately to that look in her clear blue eyes.

**Marissa**

Yeah, they're sexy. They work your bad girl image.

Marissa teased, but leaving the underlying truth evident. She squirmed a little, as Alex ran her fingers down her side and began leaning in a little.

**Alex**

They turn you on, huh?

**Marissa**

Yeah…

Alex finally closed the gap, after what seemed like an eternity, to share a languid kiss. As the moments passed it became deeper, heating up quickly as the desire built up again. Alex put her hand behind Marissa's head, pulling her even closer before Marissa pushed her back into her previous lying position, straddling her quickly.

**Alex**

Yours turns me on too.

**Morning **

**Friday**

The air in Marissa's bedroom was peaceful and quiet, a fresh breeze seeping in through the slightly ajar window, with the sun peaking through the gaps in the curtains. In a stark contrast to the atmosphere only a couple of hours ago, it was now sleepy and content. The two lovers were wrapped up in one another, limbs entangled, bodies sated and comfortable. That was, until the alarm clock began to blare out incessantly into the large room, startling both of them out of their bliss. Groaning, Marissa rolled over slightly, smacking it off with a hard slap.

**Marissa**

Oh my god. Didn't we just go to frickin' sleep?

**Alex**

Yeah…like almost an hour ago.

Alex managed to clear her vision enough to see that it was 6:15am as Marissa laid back down, a hand covering the top of her head as she yawned deeply. She couldn't help but keep her eyes open, however much they protested, to take in the brunette's morning appearance. She looked so sweet and innocent, so fragile but still intrinsically beautiful and raw. Alex doubted that the rawness that oozed out of Marissa ever vanished.

**Marissa**

Were we at it for that long?

Alex laughed slightly at the absurdity of the question, causing Marissa to smirk a little as she tipped her head sideways to look at her.

**Alex**

Oh yes. I guess time flies when you're having fun. Or in our case, mind blowing orgasms!

Marissa laughed, reaching out to stroke down the side of Alex's face before leaning in to give her a slow kiss. Everything felt so right, and she was beyond glad at what had happened last night. Waking up with Alex next to her was something she could seriously get used to.

**Marissa**

It was more than just fun. It was…you were amazing.

**Alex**

Really?

The brunette nodded, flashes of last night sweeping through her mind. Alex had indeed been amazing, more so. Actually, she didn't even compare to anyone else Marissa had ever slept with, she just outdid them all. She had made her cum harder than anyone had ever done before, and she shared a level of dark intensity with her that no one else had ever been able to touch.

**Marissa**

Yeah. The erm…the better than anyone I've ever had, amazing.

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Alex gazed over at Marissa with a soft, questioning look. She didn't even doubt her sincerity; she had gotten pretty good at spotting it in Marissa's penetrating blue orbs. It was more surprising because it had been exactly what she had been about to say.

**Alex**

Seriously? I was about to tell you that.

Leaning in, Marissa kissed her lover again. Nothing urgent, just explorative and meaningful.

**Marissa**

Thank you.

She was able to mutter around kisses, her lips refusing to leave Alex's for too long. Her body didn't want to move, and her mind didn't want to make it. Her room was like their own private little bubble, she didn't want to leave it. But, deep down, she knew she absolutely could not skip work today.

**Marissa**

Listen, I have to get ready for work. But I want you to stay here for as long as you want.

**Alex**

Really?

**Marissa**

Sure. You worked so hard at the club for last night. And well, it's not like I let you get any rest either. Trust me, if I didn't have a day that has the Mother load amount of meetings in it, I'd be staying here right beside you.

Alex chuckled, hearing the almost desperate truth in Marissa's tone. She didn't sound so enthused that she had to leave, especially for a boat load of meetings. She sighed softly, understanding, as she let her fingers trace the brunette's lips.

**Alex**

I guess being the CEO you're kinda expected to show up, huh?

**Marissa**

Exactly. Sometimes being the boss just sucks.

**Alex**

I hear ya!

Marissa initiated another kiss, her fingers stroking through silky blonde hair.

**Marissa**

I'm so glad you're here.

**Alex**

Me too.

**Marissa**

Is this…

Marissa hesitated, knowing what she wanted to say but not quite being able to say it. She was pretty sure how Alex felt about her and what they were doing with one another, but it was just that residual fear left over nagging at her. Past experiences were hard to get over, especially if you were the one that was gutted. Getting past someone you loved intentionally ripping your heart out wasn't exactly done in a day. Sometimes it never went away. And briefly, she remembered that sting. That was until she felt Alex's hand brush through her hair slowly, patient eyes looking at her adoringly.

**Alex**

Is this what?

**Marissa**

Is this as serious as I think it is? I mean, are we a couple? Are we exclusive?

She managed to finish, a little more confident now. She was ready. After all the resisting and struggling she did, she was actually ready to move on and change things in her life. Find some happiness, even. She wondered if she would have been at this stage if she hadn't met Alex. Wondered if it was because of the blonde, that she was forcing herself to take a risk. All she knew was that it didn't matter. It was happening, and she wanted it.

**Alex**

I'd like to be. I mean, I really like you. Obviously. That's just sorta how it's been for me anyway.

**Marissa**

Well why didn't you say anything?

**Alex**

'Cos I'm an idiot? Look, I can be a little late in saying things, but it doesn't mean I don't feel it before hand. I'm not used to being in a relationship, but you make me wanna learn how. Even though I'm bound to fuck up at some point.

Alex confessed, finding it surprisingly easy to say. Part of her was still scared, yes. But in the way that spurred her on, it was a good kind of fear. There was still some damage to work through, and at some point she would have to bear her crosses to Marissa which scared her too, but the brunette was worth it.

**Marissa**

I've recently been told that sometimes you need to take a risk to be happy.

**Alex**

Are we? Taking the risk?

**Marissa**

Yeah, I think we are.

They kissed again, basking in their newly agreed situation. The kiss was stronger than the laid back ones shared a few moments ago. This one promised to spiral out of control, if they didn't make sure it didn't. And knowing that she had to get moving in the back of her mind, Marissa managed to pry her mouth away from Alex's.

**Marissa**

Okay, hot stuff. I am gunna hit the showers before we can't stop.

Giving Alex one last peck, Marissa rolled herself to the edge of the bed and stood up in all her naked glory. She didn't see Alex's eyes roam over her form, or the mischievous glint before she got out of bed too.

**Marissa**

What're you doing?

Eyeing Alex suspiciously as she began to walk toward the door, she couldn't help but smirk, already knowing Alex's intentions from the look in her eyes. That raw hungriness that had been there last night too. A look that sent shivers down her spine, because it was almost feral in its nature.

**Alex**

Providing you with memories that'll get you through your meetings!

**Alex Kelly residence **

After she had had her way with Marissa in the shower, the blonde had watched the brunette getting ready quietly, enjoying the chance just to lie back and watch her movements. Before her eyes, Marissa transformed herself from the playful yet intense lover, into the prepared, intelligent business woman, looking ready to take on what the day brought her.

After sleeping in for a little while longer, like Marissa had suggested, Alex got up and took her own shower before getting dressed and pulling on the jeans and top that Marissa had left out for her so she didn't have to wear what she had been last night. She reposted the key that had been left so she could let herself out, and headed back home.

Ryan was stood in the kitchen, when Alex entered through the back door, practically breezing in happily. She smiled widely at him as he poured out his coffee and shot her a quizzical look, obviously somewhat surprised at her obvious good mood.

**Ryan**

Hey.

**Alex**

Hey.

Moving through the kitchen, Alex gave her brother a quick hug before heading to the fridge to pour a glass of milk out for herself. She heard Ryan chuckle a little behind her, and turned as she plopped the milk carton back into its place.

**Ryan**

Got lucky?

She shrugged un-responsively, but with the edges of a smirk tugging at her lips.

**Alex**

May have. I don't kiss and tell.

She replied around the glass. Ryan widened his eyes and pointed at her.

**Ryan**

You did! With Marissa, right?

Shooting Ryan an off glare as he made sure, Alex felt a flare of flustered indignity shoot up through her, although she did understand why he asked.

**Alex**

Yes with Marissa! God!

**Ryan**

Sorry, just checking.

**Alex**

I'm going back to bed. Need to recuperate.

**Ryan**

Wow. She's that good huh?

**Alex**

Ryan…she's the bomb!

Ryan just laughed, happy for his sister, as she disappeared out of sight and up toward her room.

**CCR**

In one of the smaller meeting rooms, papers and files were scattered across the table that Marissa and Summer were sitting at in silence. Both of them had been working there for the past half hour, after coming straight out of a meeting. Summer had her work face on, determined to get most of their work done before the end of today so she didn't have to worry about it over the weekend. Marissa however, was just starring out into space happily. She barely noticed that Summer had started to talk to her.

**Summer**

I scheduled another book signing to Wallace's tour. At your friend Emma's store. It starts the tour off; you'll need to add it into your diary. And the Musgrave party is going to be huge, a massive press interest so…

Hearing no response from Marissa, even the appropriate active listening grunts, Summer looked up to see her friend completely zoned out. Frowning, she poked Marissa's arm with her pen, as though afraid she would catch something if she actually touched her.

**Summer**

Coop?

Again, receiving no response, Summer abandoned the pen and just went for the good old smack on the arm. This time, quite satisfyingly, Marissa jumped, clearly startled, and rubbed her arm as she pouted.

**Marissa**

Ow! What was that for?

Summer flailed in exasperation, now realising that Marissa had pretty much been in a world of her own since she had come in for work this morning. She had said a lot of the right things at the right times, fooling everyone, but Summer knew her better.

**Summer**

You weren't listening to a thing I said. You've been zoned out all morning, what's wrong with you?

Picking up her coffee, which had probably gone cold by now, Summer looked up at the brunette as she took a gulp.

**Marissa**

I had sex with Alex last night. And this morning.

Marissa replied casually, almost dreamily, but making Summer cough at the bluntness of the response. She spluttered coffee over the paper work, coughing and gasping as she managed to swallow the rest and dragged air in. Marissa looked shocked, snapping out of her dream like state and began to pat Summer on the back in concern.

**Marissa**

God Summer, are you okay?

**Summer**

You could've killed me woman!

**Marissa**

Sorry.

Summer sighed, brushing herself off as she calmed down. At Marissa's sheepish apology, the anger started to drain out of her. How could she be mad that her best friend seemed to be taking the steps forward she had been urging to do for ages?

**Summer**

So, you slept with Alex. I didn't know you'd gotten to that stage.

**Marissa**

Well, I hadn't either but where else was it supposed to go? We're adults; making out with a little groping on the side is a little high school. Just, last night, when I went to the club, as soon as we saw each other, we knew.

There was being pleased for her friend and grossed out by a sickly sweet statement that you would expect to read in a trashy romance novel that bordered on porn. Summer screwed her nose up.

**Summer**

Eww!

**Marissa**

Gee, thanks Summer.

**Summer**

No I meant the part about the 'we just knew' bit. Way to go on getting laid though!

Summer squeaked happily, nudging Marissa in lieu of a high five. That would have been too immature! The gesture just made Marissa laugh.

**Marissa**

You're the strangest best friend a girl could have.

**Summer**

Damn right I am. I think it's about time I was introduced to Miss Purple. Intimidate her a little bit, let her know I get rage blackouts, ask her a thousand questions until I'm satisfied she's good enough for you. You know, the usual!

Summer flashed Marissa an innocent grin, as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. It didn't work.

**Marissa**

Oh no, there will be no intimidating, interrogating or threatening thank you very much.

**Summer**

But it's my job as you're over protective, over bearing best friend.

**Marissa**

How about you just trust my judgement on this one, and be nice to her over dinner?

Summer crossed her arms, thinking it over inside of her head. She liked her job of intimidating, she was highly skilled at it. Someone had to try and protect Marissa, and she had been doing it for a long time. Summer had never minded their friendship, even back in school. When Marissa was the adored goddess, and she was the vicious bodyguard that made sure no one got to her. Still, she guessed there should have been a time when she let Marissa judge these things for herself without her involvement. Or, she could just agree and do it anyway!

**Summer**

Hmmm, if it's the only way I get to meet her, it's a deal. Say my place day after tomorrow? 8pm?

**Marissa**

Yeah okay, I'll ask Alex and get back to you.

**Summer**

Good. So, I take it from the complete lack of being on this planet, Miss Purple is a killer in the sack huh?

The working vibe was now long dead, and Summer was more interested in hearing about Marissa and her relationship with this elusive blonde chef. Abandoning the work, she propped her elbow on the desk and focused on the brunette before her. Girl talk was better than work hands down.

**Marissa**

Oh my god, you have no idea…


	10. The Night After

**Chapter Ten – The night after**

**Later that night **

**Alex Kelly residence **

**7:30pm**

Marissa had hauled ass to catch up on her work after she had slacked off talking to Summer. For the rest of the day, Marissa had spent her time chasing people down, striking deals and arguing or playing hardball with people. She had filled herself with a ridiculous amount of coffee, and virtually rendered her stress ball dead. The paperwork had come out of her ears too. Marissa concluded it was time to get an assistant.

At some point during the day, the brunette had received a text from Alex asking if she wanted to come over after work. Despite the fact she was knee deep in work, and about a million things all demanded her attention, Alex had never strayed from her thoughts. After what had happened last night, it was hard to think about anything else at all. Alex's touch was burnt into her skin.

After wrapping up things at work, a little later than usual, Marissa had zoomed home to shower and change before setting off to Alex's house. Now, as she pulled up outside of the house, she smirked as she saw Alex putting something into the back of her jeep which was parked down the side of the house. Getting out, she locked her car and made her way up the drive.

**Alex**

Hey.

Noticing Marissa coming up the drive, Alex smiled and walked around to the side of the jeep to greet her.

**Marissa**

Hey.

As they got to one another, the couple embraced, their mouths automatically gravitating toward each other. The kiss was hot and thorough, and as they kept going it became more urgent and wanting. Marissa pushed Alex up against the jeep, pinning her there with her body before pulling back slightly. As Alex tried to recapture her mouth, Marissa pulled away playfully, but still remaining close enough to feel Alex's breath. Then after a moment of teasing, she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend again.

**Marissa**

I've been thinking about you all day.

**Alex**

What've you been thinking about?

They were whispering, somewhat out of breath and mouths inches apart. Hands began to roam, both not being able to resist the urge to find some skin that they could explore. Alex began to let her hand drop dangerously low, wanting to tease Marissa and hear her say what she had been thinking about.

**Marissa**

You fucking me.

**Alex**

You want me.

**Marissa**

Yes.

Marissa inhaled sharply as Alex's hand reached its destination, cupping her firmly. Everything in her pulsated and screamed for more, everything in her responded to the way Alex was toying with her. She had never been so turned on by anyone in her life before.

**Alex**

Here?

**Marissa**

Yes.

**Alex**

Are you wet?

**Marissa**

Yes.

Alex leaned in a little, not moving her hand, but hesitating by Marissa's mouth for a second before kissing her slowly. It only lasted for a moment though, before she pulled away again, taking her hand with her too, leaving Marissa confused.

**Alex**

Hold the thought.

**Marissa**

What?

Alex grinned evilly, enjoying the whole game playing thing. She was sure that she would end up paying for it at some point, but for now, it was funny. The truth was, all she wanted to do was comply to Marissa's wants and take her right there. And it was taking an awful lot of will power not to do that. But, she had made plans and she couldn't break them. She also didn't want their relationship to gravitate solely around sex. She was sure there would be a hell of a lot of it, but it wasn't the only thing about Marissa that she liked. She was still enjoying getting to know more about the brunette.

**Alex**

We've got a date with a bonfire and a pack of beer on the beach. But later…

Letting her words linger promisingly, she opened the door to the jeep, and looked at the house.

**Alex**

_Ryan_!

Marissa just smirked, getting the feeling that she had just been played. Sticking her elbow out, she pushed Alex a little, who looked at her mock offended as she laughed cheekily. So Marissa pushed her again, laughing, and not giving up as Alex pushed her back. By the time that Ryan and Emma stepped out of the house, they were messing around playfully, trying to get the better over one another.

**Ryan**

We interrupting?

**Alex**

No. What took you so long?

Alex stood up straight, brushing through her hair to straighten it out. Ryan just shrugged at her, then smiled at Marissa as she smiled at him warmly.

**Ryan**

I have babysitter issues. Hey Marissa, how you doing?

**Marissa**

I'm great, thanks. How're you?

**Ryan**

Can't complain.

Marissa looked at Emma then, smiling widely as they stepped in for a hug. Alex raised a curious eyebrow, looking at Ryan in confusion as she wiggled a finger between their two girlfriend's questioningly. Ryan simply shrugged again, looking as lost as she did.

**Marissa**

Hey!

**Emma**

Hey. God Marissa, thank you so much for hooking me up with the events of your publishing house. It's really kick started my business.

**Marissa**

Hey, anything for a friend. Just glad I could help.

**Emma**

Trust me, you have.

**Ryan**

How is it we managed to find girls in pretty much the same business?

Ryan wondered, regarding his sister. Alex shrugged before turning around and climbing into the driver's seat of the jeep.

**Alex**

No idea. Must be a twin thing. At least they're not the _same_ girl though.

As the other three followed Alex's lead, with Marissa and Emma climbing into the back as Ryan jumped in shotgun, Marissa found herself extremely curious all of a sudden. She had never thought about that before.

**Marissa**

Oh my god, has that ever happened before?

**Alex**

What? Going for the same girl?

**Marissa**

Yeah.

Ryan cringed as he wiggled his hand.

**Ryan**

Eh…once or twice maybe.

**Emma**

Maybe? What's maybe?

**Alex**

Four. Maybe is four!

Ignoring the glare from her brother, Alex just grinned and started the jeep and pulled out of the driveway, hearing the girls in the back laugh.

**Marissa**

You are _so_ telling us that story at some point.

**Ryan**

Heard the term wild horses?

**Emma**

Oh I'll get it out of you honey.

Alex snickered at Emma's threat, knowing that it was most likely true.

**Emma**

So, what exactly are we doing?

**Alex**

Well, every third Friday some of us surfer dudes get together for a fire on the beach. Everyone just hangs out doing whatever, have a few drinks and stuff. It's fun.

**Ryan**

It's fun unless Alex gets into a fight.

Ryan countered, earning is own glare.

**Marissa**

What?

**Alex**

Ryan! Could you not?

**Marissa**

Too late. You get into fights?

**Alex**

No, not into fights. Had. As in singular.

As Ryan scoffed, Alex suddenly felt the need to throttle him. She didn't want Marissa to think that she went around looking for fights, which was how Ryan was making it sound. So she had been in her share, it wasn't as though she started anything. Most of the time anyway.

**Alex**

You're not helping Ryan. You make it sound like it's an everyday thing. I don't want her to think that.

**Ryan**

Sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I just meant that there was a little trouble at the last one on account of a guy we know being a complete jerk. Alex was only defending one of the other girls there.

**Emma**

What did he do to her?

**Alex**

He erm…he hit her. In the face. I was the only one there; it was away from everyone else. It's not something I can stand by and watch.

There was an awkwardness in Alex's answer that also made her shift in her seat, as well as make Ryan look at her sadly. Marissa caught it all, making her frown in wonder until Alex cleared her throat.

**Alex**

Anyway, it's all past. Let's just have a good time, that's what we go for.

As Emma began to make conversation, Marissa was only aware of it enough to answer every now and again politely, making it look as though she was listening. But her thoughts could only circle around Alex, and the way she had dropped silent, focusing intently on the road. Every now and again, her eyes would move to look at Marissa through the mirror, reflecting something the brunette had never seen in her eyes before. A pain of some kind, and a self consciousness that seemed odd for her. Marissa also spotted some fear. Was she really that worried about her knowing she wasn't scared to fight? No, there was more to it than that. More than she was ready to give away yet, but she was worrying over now.

When they arrived at the beach, Alex parked up and got out of the car slowly, almost flinching at the enthusiasm around her. She looked down as Ryan and Emma chattered affectionately, with Ryan pulling out the packs of beers that Alex had loaded into the car. She turned around a little, looking out over to the dark water, wondering how the hell she was going to tell Marissa about her past. Things had been going so well that she hadn't thought much about these things. They had been in the background, waiting for her to freak out. Which was now.

She didn't notice Marissa sidle up next to her, until she slipped her hand into her own. She looked down at them for a moment, building up the courage to face the brunette. Even if she didn't depart with the truth right this very minute, Marissa still knew something she hadn't wanted her to know. Something that could potentially scare her, or freak her out. But when she looked up, she didn't find any of that. And before she had a chance to say anything, Marissa leaned in and gave her a chaste but comforting kiss.

**Marissa**

I like having a girlfriend that stands up for people like that. I guess that's where the virtue part of the tattoo comes in.

**Alex**

I guess.

She smiled thankfully, looking at Marissa intently for another moment, knowing that she didn't have to explain anything she wasn't ready for yet. So, turning around, she pulled one of the rugs out of the back, noticing that Ryan had already given Marissa one of the beer packs. After that, they started to head down the beach, hand in hand. Already there were quite a few people gathered near the large fire. They were mainly accumulated to one side of it, where there were a litany of beer packs and someone had a portable stereo pumping out some music. Alex said hi to a few people as they passed by, but intentionally lead Marissa away from them, toward an empty patch of sand around the other side of the fire. Silently, she placed the rug down, and then sat herself on it, leaning against the log that was placed there. She looked up, indicating Marissa to sit down too.

Marissa complied, lowering herself down, and getting between Alex's legs and leaning back into her. She heard the blonde sigh as she wrapped her arms around her. They remained there like that, just happy to be with one another, enjoying a comfortable, private silence. Marissa stared at the fire, watching the flames dance and crackle, quite content to be wrapped up in Alex's arms.

**Alex**

You know, I'm terrified of fire.

Alex broke the silence softly; making Marissa half turn her head in surprise. That was the last thing she had expected to hear. Especially considering they were sat in front of a big ass fire. But she recognised that Alex wanted to share something with her, and wasn't about to stop her.

**Marissa**

You are?

**Alex**

Yeah. I've never told anyone that before. Not even Ryan.

**Marissa**

What happened?

**Alex**

My erm…my parents are kinda religious. And when we were little, they used to tell us stories about purgatory and hell. I used to have these nightmares about them, and there was always fire. I hate it.

**Marissa**

Alex that's awful. You don't actually think you're gunna burn in hell, do you?

**Alex**

No, I don't believe in hell. I just remember the dreams. My Mom, especially as I got older, used to say I was made of fire. They couldn't control me, couldn't bend my will or whatever. They said I was as destructive and dangerous as fire.

**Marissa**

You have fire in you, but it doesn't make you destructive Alex. It's a good thing.

Marissa leaned her head back a little further, into the crook of Alex's shoulder and neck, as she lifted her hand and stroked the side of her girlfriends face. She thought how horrible that must have been. Parents were supposed to be there for you, and support you. Not try to pollute your mind and inflict pain. She guessed they had more than they bargained for in common.

**Alex**

I know.

**Marissa**

You're so calm though.

**Alex**

Yeah, I don't let it control me. I'm too stubborn for that. Besides, I can't. I'm a chef, I use fire.

**Marissa**

God…when I was little all I used to worry about was which Prince I wanted to sweep me off my feet!

Marissa scoffed, making Alex laugh.

**Alex**

A Prince huh?

**Marissa**

Yeah, got that a little wrong, didn't I?

**Alex**

Just a little.

They both laughed again, as Marissa smirked back onto the happier time of her childhood before all the drama started, and Alex imagining a little tiny Princess Marissa.

**Alex**

I bet you looked cute in your little Princess dresses. Did you have a little tiara too?

**Marissa**

I did actually! And I used to imagine that this Prince would come swooping in and take me away and we'd live happily ever after.

**Alex**

So what happened to this Prince of yours?

**Marissa**

Well as I got older, the Prince turned into a Princess. Interesting twist in the fairytale.

She explained sardonically, raising an eyebrow at her ridiculous fairytale. No one had warned her that Princes sometimes turned out to be Princesses; they were the taboo kind of fairytales. And she thought briefly about the nightmare she had been stuck in, with her parents and their fighting, the games her Mother had played with her. And the Princess that had selflessly tried to save her from it all.

**Alex**

So were you ever swept off your feet by your Princess? Did she take you away?

Alex asked, as though she had been able to read Marissa's mind and voiced it out. Marissa thought kindly on Theresa for a moment, before the sadness kicked in. She simply nodded, before clearing her throat to try and keep herself from thinking too much about it.

**Marissa**

She tried. But hey, I changed the fairytale. Instead of waiting for another Princess to come along and take me away, I did it myself. I built a castle and everything. All _this_ Princess has to do is sweep me off my feet.

**Alex**

Would you like a beer?

Marissa laughed at Alex's immediate response.

**Marissa**

I would love one.

Alex took on of her arms away to pull two beers out of the back, and handed one to Marissa before wrapped her arm around her again, uncapping her bottle as Marissa did the same. Marissa clinked their bottles together, before they both took a sip.

**Alex**

So how's my sweeping so far?

**Saturday evening **

**The Purple Heart**

Marissa looked around the club as she stepped inside, not surprised to find it busy. Tonight was one of the live act nights, and Goldfrapp were playing. The tickets had sold out a while ago, and technically she didn't have one. But being the boss' girlfriend came in handy at times like these. Alex had invited her to the show as they had been sitting by the fire the night before, earning her a slue of kisses since Marissa was a big fan. She looked hotter than hot in her chosen black cargo pants and black, low cut waistcoat that only had the first two buttons buttoned. The waistcoat showed off just enough cleavage to make the mouth water, and exposed just enough of her waist to make the eyes water.

Heading toward the bar, which seemed to be her first stop when she got here these days, she smiled at Lisa the bar manager as she leaned on the top.

**Marissa**

Hey Lisa. How're you?

**Lisa**

Marissa, hey. I'm good, thanks. You?

**Marissa**

I'm great.

**Lisa**

Can I get you a drink?

**Marissa**

Please, daiquiri? Thanks.

Lisa nodded, going about getting Marissa's drink ready as she subconsciously moved to the music. Marissa regarded her for a moment, letting her eyes roam the other woman's form for a moment. By no means did she get the urge to sleep with her or anything, but she had to admit that Lisa was gorgeous. And from the looks of some of the other customers, she wasn't the only one that thought that.

**Marissa**

Is Alex around?

**Lisa**

I think she's backstage. Probably sucking up to the talent.

**Marissa**

I know how that feels.

**Lisa**

Well then, here's your very much deserved drink.

Lisa smirked as she handed Marissa her drink, who accepted it with a gracious smile before taking a sip. She turned slightly, as she heard the throng of people start to clap happily as the pre band came onto the stage. As they set into their first song, one that Marissa vaguely knew, she caught sight of Alex as she came around the corner by the bar, head buried in some forms that she was carrying.

**Marissa**

Hey you.

Looking up immediately, Alex lit up, forgetting about what she was holding. Instead, she moved the rest of the way over to Marissa, not being able to resist the gravitational pull she felt toward her. Not that she wanted to, either. Slipping a hand around the back of the brunette's head, she leaned in and kissed her slowly.

**Lisa**

Oh my god, it's like seeing my older sister sucking face.

Lisa drawled sarcastically after rolling her eyes. The comment caused the other two girls to separate, Marissa chuckling while Alex shot her an off glare.

**Alex**

Did your older sister ever smack you into silence?

**Lisa**

Yeah, a few times!

**Alex**

Gee, I wonder why.

Lisa just winked at her boss, knowing that she wasn't really angry. She had known Alex for far too long to annoy her so easily. They had made pretty good friends over time. Alex was someone she respected a lot. She had worked hard to build what she had, and she stood up for herself too. Plus, she was cool and hot and she made a good working environment. What could be better?

Marissa took Alex's hand quickly, and began to lead her away; abandoning the drink she had been given. Right now, she didn't really care about anything else other than what she had been craving all day. Which was Alex.

**Alex**

Where are we going Miss Cooper?

**Marissa**

We're going to your office.

**Alex**

Why? I thought you wanted to watch the show?

**Marissa**

I changed my mind. I want a different kind of show.

After leading Alex up the stairs and across the walkway, Marissa opened the office door and pulled Alex inside, shutting it before pushing Alex against it roughly. She leaned onto the blonde heavily, reached behind her and locked the door, all the while not letting her eyes falter from Alex's. She took hold of the blonde's hands, pinning them up at shoulder length at either side. She remained silent, inches away from her lover's face, both breathing a little heavily at the suddenly thick atmosphere. Alex moved her hand to stroke through silky hair gently, as Marissa looked at her challengingly.

**Marissa**

So, you ever have sex in your office before?

Alex faltered for a second, unsure of how to respond.

**Alex**

Erm...no?

An evil, mischievous glint crossed Marissa's eyes and lips as she smirked, obviously not believing Alex's answer. The sexual tension between them was intoxicating, being this close was excruciating.

**Marissa**

Oh I think you have. I think you've had a lot of girls in your office.

Clearing her throat, Alex regained her confidence again.

**Alex**

Is that a problem for you?

**Marissa**

No. I just want to be one of them.

**Alex**

But you'll never be one of them. You're more than that.

Marissa moved her hand, sliding it along down Alex's face, down her neck and collarbone, until finally reaching her breast. She watched as Alex's breath quivered, and she had to gulp to try and keep her composure.

**Marissa**

Do you want me?

**Alex**

So much that it hurts.

**Marissa**

What do you want to do with me?

**Alex**

I want to fuck you until you scream my name again.

**Marissa**

So what're you waiting for? I'm yours. Fuck me.

It was 30 minuets later that they decided to get dressed again, seeing as the show would be starting in 15. Alex looked at her girlfriend as she put the waistcoat back on, her skin still on fire from her touches. Like they had been last night. She had made good on her promise last night, after they had dropped Ryan and Emma off they had gone back to Marissa's house, where once again, they had spent most of the night devouring each other. Only this time, it had been her that had had to leave for work in the morning, not Marissa.

**Alex**

That was the best booty call ever!

**Marissa**

It was not a booty call!

Marissa squeaked, earning herself a questioning and challenging raised eyebrow from the almost dressed blonde. Alex was still currently having a little difficulty finding her shirt. As she snagged it and pulled it back on, she began to inch over toward her girlfriend, this time giving her a predatorily seductive and knowing look.

**Alex**

Oh really? Tell me you haven't been thinking about me all day. Tell me how you haven't been dying to come over here after I left for work this morning. Tell me how you didn't have this planned, that you didn't intend on fucking me in my office. I _dare_ you.

Marissa's breath caught in her throat as Alex advanced on her, using a tone that was nothing but sexual and made her blood boil. She opened her mouth a little, aiming to deny her intentions, but her throat had gone too dry. After all, it wasn't as though Alex was wrong.

**Alex**

That's what I thought.

She kissed the still stunned Marissa, before pulling back to finish buttoning up her shirt, an evil but highly amused look resting on her features.

**Marissa**

Hey, I wanted to ask you something.

**Alex**

Really? I wanted to ask you something too. But you shoot first.

**Marissa**

Okay. You know Summer and Seth?

**Alex**

Well yeah! You talk about them all the time.

**Marissa**

Right. Well, they've invited us to dinner at their house. I was supposed to ask you last night, but I forgot. Tomorrow night? At 8?

Alex let her hands drop as she finished buttoning, as she looked down at the floor and let out a complicated sigh.

**Alex**

Okay. Wow…meeting the best friends.

**Marissa**

Is that a yes?

**Alex**

Yes it's a yes.

**Marissa**

That's great! So what were you going to ask me?

**Alex**

Well…

Turning, Alex started to move closer to Marissa again. She looped her arms around her neck, leaning against her as they came to a stop so that Marissa was leant against her desk.

**Alex**

I'm having a party. Or rather, Ryan and I are having a party. Next week. A lot of my friends will be there, and I was wondering if you'd like to come.

Smiling, Marissa began to stroke through Alex's hair in an effort to help straighten it out properly.

**Marissa**

I'd love to come.

She accepted the intimate, languid kisses that Alex leaned in for, slipping her hands around her waist.

**Alex**

You're kind of addictive, you know that?

**Marissa**

You're not so bad yourself Miss Kelly.

**Alex**

How incredibly romantic!

Marissa just laughed, playfully kissing her again before standing up properly from the desk. As Alex stepped back from her, she held out her hand in offering.

**Marissa**

C'mon, let's go. Goldfrapp will be on soon.


	11. The Dinner

**Chapter Eleven - The Dinner**

**Sunday**

**Roberts/Cohen residence**

**8pm**

**Marissa**

You okay?

Marissa looked over the top of her car, as she and Alex exited it after she had pulled up in front of Summer and Seth's house. They had split up earlier that day, after spending the night together again. Marissa wasn't sure how to describe their physical relationship, other than all consuming and irresistible. She had never experienced anything like how Alex devoured her in bed. She had never cum as hard. No one had ever burned their touch into her, their kisses or breath. She could feel all of them all over her, inside of her. It was overwhelming and addictive. Add to that the connection that had established between them, it was the most powerful thing the brunette had ever experienced.

**Alex**

I'm fine.

As Alex nodded rigidly, glancing at the house with a look of pure terror and discomfort covering her beautiful features, Marissa narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion as they both moved around to the front of the car.

**Marissa**

You're nervous, aren't you?

Alex scoffed, her eyes still glued onto the house as she tried to attempt fobbing her girlfriend off. She had been nervous all day, actually. Going surfing had helped a little bit, but once she was off the water she was consumed by thoughts of disasters that could occur at this dinner. Marissa was extremely important to her. She was inside of her, as corny as it sounded. But she was right there under her skin, and she didn't want anything to spoil that. Like her friends not liking her.

**Alex**

No! Not at...yeah a little bit.

Marissa laughed lightly, as Alex looked at her, finally coming clean. She had such a sweet, puppy dog expression about her, one that caused her to lean in and kiss her lightly, reassuringly.

**Marissa**

Relax; it's going to be fine.

**Alex**

It's just...I mean, you talk about them all of the time. Obviously they're super important to you. You've never even talked about your parents in front of me. So naturally I'm thinking that if I have to impress anyone in your life, it's these two.

Alex explained, flailing a hand lightly as she let go of one side of the box she was carrying. She looked between the house and Marissa, not failing to notice the brunette flinch and look down at the floor as she mentioned her parents. Alex regretted it for a moment; she hadn't meant to make Marissa uncomfortable. She was just trying to be honest, and explain why she was so nervous about meeting a couple of her friends. These people were Marissa's family, they grew up together, they owned a business together, Marissa was their daughter's godparent. These indeed were the people to be nervous about meeting.

Clearing her throat as she looked back up at Alex, she put her hand on her arm to stop her from rambling.

**Marissa**

Listen to me; you don't have to impress anyone, okay? I didn't bring you here

for that. I brought you here because they're important to me, and so are you. And I think you'll all get on really well.

**Alex**

Are you sure?

**Marissa**

I'm positive.

Seeing the honest and confident look in Marissa's eyes, Alex smiled and nodded, becoming more confident herself. She didn't usually act like such a nervous wreck, but then again, she wasn't used to doing anything like this. But she had never been one to say no to a challenge, so she began to face her fear, stepping forward toward the path that lead to the front door.

**Marissa**

Alex?

Alex turned around again, a little confused as to why Marissa was hesitating this time.

**Alex**

Yeah?

**Marissa**

I'm not trying to keep secrets from you...you know, about my past, my parents. I trust you. I just need a little more time is all.

Stepping back to Marissa, Alex stood close to her as she put her hand on the brunette's face gently.

**Alex**

Everyone has a past Marissa, I get it. Like I've told you before, I'll be here.

**Marissa**

Thank you.

Looping her fingers around the top of Alex's jeans, she pulled the blonde forward and kissed her intensely. Neither one of them noticed the house door open; they were so lost in each other and their kiss.

**Summer**

You gunna put on a show for my neighbours all night or come inside for dinner?

Marissa pulled away from her girlfriends mouth just enough to sigh, playfully irritated, her eyes sparkling as she still looked at Alex, still sharing a private moment and refusing to let it go just yet.

**Marissa**

Hey Summer.

Smiling widely, Summer laughed inwardly at her own antics, even though she guessed Marissa would make her pay at some point for it. The truth was, she had been anticipating this dinner since she had suggested it. She wanted to meet the girl that had made her friend change, quite literally overnight before her eyes. Despite anything else that Alex turned out to be, Summer already knew that she was going to be unique. She would have to be, to cause such a turnaround in Marissa's line of thinking regarding relationships, love and trust since her last break up. Summer definitely wanted to meet someone special enough to do that, and to conjure up some life in her best friend.

**Summer**

Hey Coop! I hope that's Miss Purple you're putting the moves on!

She teased, causing a look of confusion from the blonde stranger who was now looking at Marissa completely lost. Summer just watched Marissa take Alex's hand, and lead her up the path toward her. She had to say something for her troubled friend; she always had a knack for picking beautiful girls. Theresa had been beautiful, and she had to reluctantly admit that the last whore bag from hell had been quite model-esk. But neither of them could really touch Alex, who just had this distinctive look about her. An older look, the way the movie stars had been beautiful back in the day. Like Audrey Hepburn, she had that sort of beauty about her. And what she could already tell, was a raw deepness that actually rivalled Marissa's. Summer didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but she supposed she would be finding out soon.

**Alex**

Miss what?

**Marissa**

Nothing...

Marissa squeaked, quite alarmed, before letting go of Alex's hand and pulling Summer into a tight and reasonably threatening hug that earned a grunt out of the smaller woman.

**Marissa**

Shut up!

**Summer**

'Kay, put me down woman.

Rolling her eyes as Marissa let her go, she looked at her lovingly for a moment, before straightening herself out after being threatened. As she cleared her throat and ran a hand through the side of her hair, she looked at Alex properly, smiling as she extended a hand out toward her.

**Summer**

Hi, I'm Summer. You must be Alex.

Alex reflected Summer's smile, those nerves she had moments ago coming back to shoot through her stomach. She could actually feel the connection between Summer and Marissa; it was that strong and obvious. It was like the one she and Ryan shared, which she guessed would stand to reason. Marissa had already explained that her relationship with Summer was that of a sisterhood. And as she looked into Summer's dark, welcoming eyes, she could sense the protectiveness there, and the curiosity. It wasn't overpowering though, she wasn't letting it cloud her judgement or her friendly attitude. It was actually the opposite; Alex was surprised by the easygoing vibe coming from the dark brunette.

**Alex**

Yeah, nice to meet you. I didn't want to turn up empty handed so I made a meringue.

**Summer**

Really? That's so nice of you, thanks.

Marissa lifted up a bottle of wine, a quirked eyebrow and a sardonic expression covering her face.

**Marissa**

I brought wine.

**Summer**

Shocker!

Summer received a smack on her arm for her sarcastic answer as Marissa began to move past her. She had taken Alex's hand again, pulling her gently inside as Summer stepped aside a little so they could enter. Shutting the door with her foot, she carried the box that Alex had given her with her down the hallway.

**Summer**

So dinner is gunna be a few minutes. Do you want a drink?

**Marissa**

Sure, where's Seth?

Marissa wondered, feeling completely at home by being here. Strangely enough, she herself hadn't felt nervous about introducing her friends and her girlfriend tonight. It seemed so natural, and she did absolutely believe they would all like one another. She was excited at the prospect, thinking how much better it would be after tonight so they could all do things together. It was, of course, the natural progression.

**Summer**

In the kitchen where he belongs!

Summer responded, flicking a hand and making both of the other women laugh lightly.

**Alex**

You're house is amazing.

Alex, like she had with Marissa's house, looked around at what she could see, a little in awe of everything. It wasn't as though she was envious or anything, but there was indeed a clear distinction between them and herself. Despite that she owned a club, and could get herself one of these shiny wonderful houses, Alex just liked where she lived. The house she owned was a normal, family house nestled into a nice patch along the shore and she loved it. It was hers, and she didn't see herself giving it up anytime soon.

**Summer**

Thank you; feel free to make yourself at home. In fact, Coop, why don't you take Alex to sit down in the dining room and I'll bring your drinks in?

**Marissa**

Okay...are you sure you don't want any help?

**Summer**

No no, it's fine. I already know what you want. Alex, what can I get you? Wine, beer...we have pretty much everything!

**Alex**

Beer sounds good, thank you.

Summer nodded, turning around and vanishing through an archway. Marissa turned around too, leading Alex through to the dining room slowly, letting the blonde look around inquisitively as they went.

**Alex**

Wow...you all really are from Orange County aren't you?

Alex commented, still so lost in taking everything in that she didn't see Marissa cringe a little bit.

**Marissa**

Don't say it like that.

Turning back to her, she shook her head softly.

**Alex**

No, I just mean...it must have been nice to grow up there.

**Marissa**

Trust me, it was no picnic. I would have traded.

**Alex**

Not for Chino, I expect.

Stalling for a moment, Marissa gave Alex an unsure expression, not knowing exactly how she was supposed to have taken that, or what it meant. There was no malice in Alex's voice, but still, it was a rather pointed comment. So far, they hadn't let their differences in the worlds they grew up in become a real issue. They had talked about it and such, and they had talked about both of their contemptuous attitudes toward their birthplaces. But still, the fact of the matter was, Marissa had still been raised with luxuries that Alex had never known.

Alex shook her head again, leaning forward and kissing Marissa softly. She hadn't even known herself what she had meant by that. It wasn't as though she were jealous of how Marissa had grown up. From the sounds of it, Newport had been just as bad as Chino, only much richer. It had still been a place that Marissa had run from, like she had fled Chino. Obviously, Summer and Seth had done the same. She didn't want to let it become an issue if it didn't need to be.

**Alex**

It doesn't matter. Places don't make the people. Or at least, they shouldn't.

Marissa smiled, brushing a strand of glossy blonde hair back.

**Marissa**

I completely agree.

Out of the corner of her eye, Marissa noticed Seth wonder through into the dining room slowly, and turned to look at him as he looked at her with an unsure expression. She smiled brightly, indicating him with her hand to make Alex look around too.

**Marissa**

Seth, hey. This is Alex.

Now that he knew he hadn't just disturbed some super intimate moment, for which he would usually get shouted at or smacked for, Seth grinned and moved forward, holding out his hand for Alex to shake.

**Seth**

Hey, nice to meet you Alex.

**Alex **

You too. I just told Summer that I think you have a really nice house.

**Seth**

Thanks, I can't take much of the credit for it though, Summer is in charge of

pretty much...well everything!

He shrugged casually, obviously proud of the home he had but not over arrogant about it. And, he wasn't really lying about Summer being in charge of everything. He had fallen in love with a bossy girl, and it hadn't changed as they got older and got married. It's one of the things he loved about her though.

**Marissa**

You know Seth, Alex is a fan of yours.

Looking alarmed, Alex glared at her girlfriend.

**Alex**

Don't say it like that!

**Marissa**

What? You are!

**Alex**

I know but it makes me seem really...

**Marissa**

Geeky? I know, but I still like you. If Summer can marry a nerd, I'm sure I can date one!

She purred sweetly, batting her eyelids as if acting so cute would get her off the hook for being so teasing.

**Seth/Alex**

Hey!

Laughing, Marissa just shrugged.

**Seth**

So Alex, you're into the comic books huh?

**Alex**

Yeah, a little.

**Seth**

That's so cool. See Marissa, hot chicks can like comics too.

Seth flailed triumphantly, pointing at Alex as though she was all the proof he needed. For her part though, Alex went a little red, and wondered whether that was actually flattering or not.

**Alex**

Erm...thanks?

**Seth**

You're welcome. So Marissa tells me you own a gay club?

Seth ignored the pointed glare that Marissa shot him, before she shoved him enough to push him off balance. He just readjusted, not taking his focus away from Alex. Marissa had told him that he could absolutely not refer to her club as a gay club, as to which he had ignored also, evidently. He doubted from the look of her, that he could insult Alex by saying it, which Marissa had been concerned about.

**Alex**

Yeah, I do. You should come down sometime; it's a lot of fun.

**Seth**

Well I do like to show off my lesbianism, I'll ask the lady of the house!

As Alex and Seth had started talking about comics and the club, Marissa's attention had wondered, and instead she had ended up ditching both of them to go in search of Summer. She had helped her friend finish serving the food up, as Summer had announced her initial report on what she thought about Alex. Fortunately, it had been good, and Summer said that threatening the blonde was probably unnecessary. Then, as they went back into the dining room with some of the food, they had found their significant others laughing hysterically at something they couldn't make out. It was safe to assume that Alex and Seth liked one another.

Now, midway through the meal, the conversation was light and laid back. Seth had shared a couple of embarrassing stories about Marissa's drunken exploits at college, and Summer had joined in by sharing a couple of her drunken exploits at high school too. All of which had completely mortified Marissa, who had sworn to seek revenge. It had highly entertained Alex though. They talked a while about their business' too, the married couple eager to know more about The Purple Heart and how Alex had come to own it. She had skimmed through a lot of the details, but had given them the main gist of things.

**Summer**

How's everyone's food?

Summer enquired, looking up as Marissa grunted happily as she nodded, as she had a mouthful she was chewing on and couldn't respond any other way. Summer snickered, widening her eyes for a second.

**Summer**

Wow, that's attractive! How's yours Alex?

**Alex**

It's great, thanks.

**Seth**

It's catered.

Seth whispered conspiratorially, wincing as Summer smacked him on the arm as she turned to him, alarmed and extremely angry.

**Summer**

Cohen!

**Seth**

What, it is!

**Summer**

You weren't supposed to tell her that.

**Seth**

Why not?

**Summer**

'Cos she's a chef!

**Seth**

Then she probably knows it was catered.

Alex and Marissa both smirked at one another as the couple in front of them bickered as though they had forgotten they were there. Marissa rolled her eyes, giving Alex a look as if to tell her that this was normal.

**Summer**

This is a disaster, I'm really sorry. We were supposed to impress you.

Summer grovelled, now directing her attention toward Alex who seemed a little startled at her explanation.

**Alex**

Impress me?

**Summer**

Yeah, by all accounts you're this amazing chef and well...I'm not.

**Alex**

Summer, I'm really kinda flattered that you went to all this trouble for me, but you really didn't need to. I'm not someone that goes around judging people on

their food.

**Summer**

Really?

She squeaked hopefully, visibly perking up a little bit.

**Alex**

Really. I've had dinner at Marissa's.

**Marissa**

Hey! You said you liked it.

Alex turned to Marissa, smiling sweetly but humorously.

**Alex**

Aww baby I did. I _loved_ the burnt flavour in the mac and cheese!

She responded over sweetly, giving Marissa a mischievously adoring and grovelling look, making Summer and Seth laugh. Marissa herself just cringed, squeezing her eyes shut regretfully for a moment.

**Marissa**

I can't believe I let you eat that.

**Alex**

Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I can eat pretty much anything, I grew up in Chino remember?

**Seth**

Well, it's a good job. 'Cos Summer and Marissa? Not the housewife sorta girls. Allergic to the kitchen really. Should be ashamed to call themselves female.

Seth wiggled his finger between Summer and Marissa, who glared at him, their feathers a little ruffled by the very true comment. He winced a little as he was kicked by Marissa and once again smacked by Summer. Alex just chuckled, thinking somehow that Seth was used to the abuse.

**Summer**

Yeah, Cohen is more of a woman than me sometimes. Say DIY and he runs like a little bitch!

**Seth**

I'm a sensitive soul okay? I grew up around women, with no male role model to

speak of.

He defended, pointing at himself as he did. Marissa frowned in thought.

**Marissa**

Hello? What about Dad?

Alex looked at Marissa quickly, a little startled at what she had said. Dad? Were they related? She hadn't specifically said that they were related, even though she had told her that they were family. Alex was beyond confused, but no one else even flinched. She didn't even think Marissa had noticed that she had said it in front of her.

**Seth**

I meant macho men. Sandy Cohen is a lover not a fighter.

**Summer**

I guess that's true. Oh...there was Luke...

**Seth**

Who mercilessly picked on me until he needed our help because his Dad was gay. Gee, what a good example.

**Summer**

Okay you have a point. What about all your skinny little dork ass comic book friends? Oh right, they're dweebs too!

**Seth**

Which must do something for you, since you married one.

**Summer**

Yeah I don't know what happened there. I'll be sure to teach Mia better.

Marissa laughed at their banter, turning to regard Alex briefly, who was still looking at her. She smiled affectionately, putting her hand on Alex's thigh and giving her an encouraging squeeze. She left her hand there, as Alex put her own on top, before turning back to the other couple.

**Marissa**

Where is Mia?

**Seth**

Being spoilt rotten by her Grandparents.

**Summer**

Your 'Rentals, not mine.

Once again, Alex caught the inference that Marissa and Seth were related. But by what they had said, that would make them siblings. Marissa would have told her if she had a brother, wouldn't she? Especially if it were Seth. Why would she introduce him as one of her best friends that had become her family? Even though she was thoroughly confused, she decided not to bring it up right now. She could wait for her answers, thinking that she should ask Marissa when they were alone. She didn't want to spoil the mood and she knew she stood a better chance of getting a full explanation if they were alone together.

**Marissa**

Yeah, like I'd actually think you'd let Mia go to your Dad's with the Step-Monster there. Does she even know you have a daughter?

Summer thought for a moment, narrowing her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling, trying to think if her Step-Mother actually did know about Mia.

Summer 

Hhmm, you know, I don't think she does now you mention it!

Pointing toward Seth as she laughed, Marissa raised her eyebrows and gave him a look that people had when they got struck by a bright idea.

**Marissa**

Hey you should hang out with Ryan.

She turned to look at Alex, seeking a second opinion on the subject. She had spent enough time with Ryan to get to know him a little bit, and she had been thinking for a little while now that he and Seth would actually get along pretty well.

**Marissa**

Don't you think they'd get on?

**Alex**

Yeah, in an odd, surprising way, I do.

Alex agreed, narrowing her eyes a little as she thought about her brother. Seth wasn't the type of guy that Ryan usually hung out with, but that was the thing she thought would be appealing about him. They had some really good friends, but Ryan didn't have that one best friend that he could really connect properly too. Mainly because he was deeper than his friends, though she meant no offence by that. It was just, Ryan was such an oddity. He wasn't your typical anything.

**Seth**

Who's Ryan?

**Alex**

He's my brother.

**Seth**

Is he macho? 'Cos macho men don't seem to like me very much.

**Alex**

He's…kinda hard to describe. But don't worry; he's not an evil macho man.

**Marissa**

He has a daughter too. I told you Summer; she played with Mia when Alex made me that apology lunch?

Summer nodded as Alex squeezed Marissa's hand a little bit, as she began to look a little embarrassed.

**Alex**

Oh my god, you did not tell them about that day?

Marissa laughed lightly, nodding as Alex shook her head slowly and looked down, rubbing her forehead with her free hand, obviously horrified.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I did. Summer's convinced you accosted me on purpose!

Alex looked up again extremely distressed, shaking her head profusely in denial.

**Alex**

No, honestly I didn't.

Seth leaned into his wife, his eyes still on Alex; taking in how pale she had suddenly dropped.

**Seth**

You haven't even started intimidating her yet, and she's afraid of you.

**Summer**

Well good, 'cos I promised Coop I wasn't going to do that this time. But still, I just have to warn you in the nicest possible way Alex, hurt my best friend and I will drop you so fast you won't know what hit you. I have rage blackouts. Got it?

Alex nodded in understanding, though Marissa frowned, irritated and alarmed at Summer for saying it.

**Alex**

I got it.

**Marissa**

Summer!

Summer held her hands up innocently, bugging her eyes out a little bit. She knew she had promised not to, but she couldn't help it. She was protective; it was just what she did. She couldn't let Alex leave without so much as a warning.

**Summer**

What? I reserve the right to protect my own. I've done it since kindergarten, remember when Daryl Josephs took your doll and you cried so I hit him and got it back for you, which by the way is when we first made friends. You expect me to stop now?

She demanded in one breath, flailing a finger toward Marissa in such a way that it was daring her to say anything other than agreeing back to her.

**Alex**

It's okay, I understand. I'm terrified, but I understand.

Alex reassured, smirking a little bit as Summer gestured across the table at her.

**Summer**

See? I like her already!

The blonde smiled, nudging Marissa softly to let her know that it was really okay, and she didn't mind Summer's warning. Actually, she found it sweet that Summer had threatened her, it reminded her of herself. She did the same things with the girls that Ryan dated. She couldn't blame her for doing it.

It was almost forty minutes later that Alex stepped outside of the patio doors and onto the deck that Summer was currently sitting alone on. They had all abandoned the table after finishing their meals, and taken to the living room where they had all talked some more. Only, ten minutes ago Summer had disappeared saying she was going to put the kettle on, and hadn't come back. Alex had left Seth and Marissa in the living room, laughing uncontrollably as they had started play fighting after Seth had been trying to tell her more of Marissa's embarrassing stories. After laughing at them for a few minutes, the blonde had decided to go in search of Summer, fighting off her initial fear of doing so, and deciding to take a chance and push herself for Marissa's sake. After she had spied Summer sat outside, obviously completely having forgotten about the drinks, she made two coffees and carried them outside.

**Alex**

Hey, you mind if I sit with you?

Summer looked up at the quiet request, snapping out of her thoughts but still looking a little dazed by them. Realising what Alex had just said, she shook her head softly and scooted over for her.

**Summer**

Of course not, take a seat.

Alex began to sit down on the step carefully, focusing on not spilling either of the drinks. As she managed her task, she offered one of the mugs out toward the smaller woman.

**Alex**

I don't know how you take it; so feel free not to drink it.

Summer accepted the mug with a thankful smile as Alex handed it to her, almost sheepishly.

**Summer**

Thanks. Listen, I'm sorry if I was rude earlier. You know, the whole threatening you thing?

**Alex**

You weren't, I really get it.

**Summer**

You do?

**Alex**

Yeah. I mean, you and Marissa have been best friends since you were little, right? She talks about you all the time, it's obvious that you mean so much to each other. I understand what that's like.

Sighing in relief, Summer relaxed a little. She had started getting worried about what had happened earlier, which she was surprised about. It wasn't as though she felt guilty about making threats, especially when it came to protecting or defending Marissa. But for some reason, she had begun to worry that she had actually offended Alex. She reasoned that it was a good sign. That she actually felt guilty because already she liked the blonde, and could sense that she was a good thing in Marissa's life. She had never felt that before, not even with Theresa. As much as she had loved her, and had valued her friendship, she still hadn't made her feel safe when it came to Marissa. She had helped her so much, she had been a huge force in her life, but Theresa had also caused the brunette a fair share of pain that she could have done without. They had been off again on again all of the time, and she remembered a million times when Marissa had turned up loaded or sobbing at her doorstep after a fight or a break up or a misunderstanding. She had trusted Theresa to look after Marissa, and never doubted her devotion to her, but she had known all along that they weren't supposed to live happily ever after. With Alex, she got a sense of that.

**Summer**

Good, 'cos the last ho hated me. And I didn't want that to happen this time, because she _really_ likes you.

**Alex**

I really like her too. And it only makes me like her even more that she has friends like you that are so devoted to her.

**Summer**

We've been through a lot together. I've always been there for her; she's always been there for me. I don't want to loose that, ever.

Alex gazed at Summer for a moment, then frowned lightly as she turned the words over in her head. Suddenly it dawned upon her that Summer was worried. Immediately she placed a hand on Summer's arm, getting her to look at her again.

**Alex**

Hey, you know I would never dream of coming between you two, right? I'm not gunna steal her away from you. Not that I actually could.

Summer sighed, looking down briefly before regarding Alex again.

**Summer**

I know. It's not so much I'm worried about that, 'cos we're Coop and Summer. I just…I want her to be happy so badly, after everything she's been through.

There was a pointed, heavy and desperate look crossing Summer's soulful dark eyes. She had seen Marissa go through so much, that it had put a weight in her own stomach, as she had wished everyday that this would come about. It wasn't until tonight, when she had watched Marissa and Alex interact, that she realised just how heavy that weight had become. Her friend didn't need saving exactly, but she guessed that's the only way she could sum up what Alex had done. She had saved her by coming into her life, and making her realise that she still had a chance to be happy. And something told her that Marissa had done the same for Alex too.

**Alex**

It's a lot, huh?

**Summer**

She hasn't told you yet?

Alex shook her head slowly, taking a sip of her coffee before breathing in slowly.

**Alex**

Not really. She's made a few hints here and there.

**Summer**

Try not to worry about it. She'll tell you, she just has to work out what to say. There's a lot of stuff that she hasn't let go of yet.

Alex nodded; about to reply before they both turned around as they heard the patio doors being slid open wider than they already were. Marissa stood there, smiling widely before stepping out onto the deck, looking between her girlfriend and her best friend almost suspiciously.

**Marissa**

Hey, what're my two favourite women doing out here?

She demanded lightly, wedging herself between them and putting one arm around each of their shoulders.

**Summer**

Hey, we were having a moment 'till you came charging in!

Summer admonished playfully, making Alex laugh and receiving a soft nudge from Marissa as she pouted good-naturedly.

**Marissa**

She's mine, you can't have her.

Summer scoffed dismissively.

**Summer**

Oh please, like she'd be able to resist _this_ over you're butch act girl!

Alex laughed harder as Summer gestured toward herself, pretending to be confrontational toward Marissa.

**Alex**

It's so true! She's so little and cute, I don't have the power to resist!

This time, Marissa nudged Alex, still pretending to pout. She was actually both relieved and extremely happy that the pair were getting along so well, it was what she had hoped for, if not expected. Obviously, whatever it was that they had been talking about out here, had made them bond. A little slower than it had taken Alex and Seth, but she had expected that too. Given that Summer was cautious around the people that entered her life.

Contentedly, she moved as she took Alex's free arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, once again making herself comfortable against her like she had many times before, starting with when they had gone out on their date to the cinema. She knew Alex didn't mind, and that the blonde had quickly picked up that it was one of her habits.

**Marissa**

Well Seth is kinda girly, I always thought Summer was hiding something.

Marissa countered, deciding to give back as good as she was getting. She grinned evilly as Summer sucked in a shocked breath, and pointed toward her.

**Summer**

Oh my god, I'm so telling Cohen you think he's a girl!

**Marissa**

What's he gunna do? Pull my hair?

She demanded challengingly, raising an eyebrow as she watched Summer think for a moment. She felt Alex chuckle as she reached around, offering her the coffee she was drinking. Marissa took it gratefully, sipping it as she still watched Summer.

**Summer**

Probably! Where is he anyway?

**Marissa**

Oh he's on the phone with Anna.

Marissa stopped mid drink as Summer's face dropped instantly, making a knot appear in her stomach.

**Summer**

With Anna?

**Marissa**

Wait, he didn't tell you…

Marissa began slowly, trailing off as Summer folded her arms angrily.

**Summer**

Tell me what?

Grimacing, she mentally noted to herself that she needed to give Seth a good beating for not telling Summer about Anna when she had told him to. It seemed so long ago, so much had happened between then and now. She knew Seth made his fair share of mistakes, but this one was huge.

**Marissa**

Maybe Seth should tell you.

**Summer**

Marissa Cooper, I am one step away from kicking your skinny ass so hand it over.

**Marissa**

Anna kinda called him a while ago, to catch up. I thought he'd told you, he said he was going to.

**Summer**

He's dead.

Summer picked herself up off of the step and stomped away muttering under her breath. Sighing slowly as she watched her friend go into the house, Marissa sat up from leaning on Alex, looking guilty and mad.

**Marissa**

I don't know who to be mad at more, Seth or myself.

Alex squeezed Marissa's arm gently.

**Alex**

You didn't know. Who's Anna anyway? From the way you've made it sound, Seth and Summer have been together forever.

**Marissa**

They have. But they've had their problems too. One of those was Anna. Seth dated her for a while, and it really hurt Summer. It was…well it was a lot of drama.

**Alex**

Do you think we should go?

**Marissa**

Yeah, I'll go get our stuff. You'll probably be safer out here, when Summer's mad…she's…

Marissa grimaced, placing her hand on Alex's knee as she looked at her. The blonde just nodded, lifting up a hand to indicate Marissa didn't have to continue.

**Alex**

I get it, rage blackouts.

**Marissa**

Exactly. I'll be two minutes.

Marissa leaned in to give Alex a fleeting kiss, mainly to bolster her own courage to go back inside the house and get their things. She didn't have a death wish, but she still had to go in because her car keys were amongst the hostages in there. She had seen Summer and Seth fight before, and it wasn't exactly pretty. So she used her best stealth tactics to get in, grab the stuff, and get out again.

After the pair had gotten safely into Marissa's car, they looked out of the window, surprised as it began to rain. Marissa just started the car, frowning slightly in thought as she pulled out and began heading for home. She knew that her friends would be fine eventually. They would have their fight, and maybe Summer would be huffy for a couple of days as Seth felt bad and grovelled, but they would make up like they always did. They loved one another too much not to. But as always, Marissa made a note to herself to get in some extra ice cream and beer for when one of them would turn up at her house, licking the wounds.

**Marissa**

What?

After a couple of minutes, it came to her attention that Alex kept looking at her thoughtfully. There was an intimate silence, created by the blanket of rain sliding down the windows.

**Alex**

Nothing.

Clearing her throat, Alex looked away, choosing instead to watch the rain droplets run down her window, unsure of whether now was the time to bring up the whole family issue.

**Marissa**

Come on Alex, you keep looking at me. And not in a lecherous I-can't-wait-to-get-you-home-and-fuck-you-for-hours way. What's on your mind?

Again, Alex cleared her throat, turning around once more to look at her girlfriend intently.

**Alex**

Okay…but just so you know, I can't wait to get you home so I can fuck you for hours. I was just confused about your relationship with Seth, is all.

Marissa shrugged casually.

**Marissa**

What about it?

**Alex**

Is he your brother?

**Marissa**

Yeah.

**Alex**

You're 'brother', brother, or…

She let her question hang as she realised that Marissa was pulling up into a car park that overlooked the beach. Frowning, she looked around the dull, grey surroundings before swinging her gaze back onto Marissa questioningly.

**Marissa**

This is my lifeguard tower substitute.

Marissa declared simply, turning in her seat after unbuckling herself to look at Alex properly. Immediately, the blonde drew her head back, shaking her head in dismay.

**Alex**

Listen…I don't want you to…

Marissa put her finger over Alex's mouth, effectively stopping her from continuing, before leaning over and kissing her softly.

**Marissa**

It's okay; I'm ready for this part.

Alex nodded, seeing the sparkling sincerity within Marissa's eyes. Little did she know that it had been over dinner that Marissa had decided to take her first steps in letting go of some of the things she was carrying around.

**Marissa**

Seth is my brother, but we're not related. Our parents…his parents I guess, they took me in, became my family.

Marissa cleared her throat, her eyes glazing a little as she thought back to the time that she was about to tell Alex. Felt the sting of pain and bitterness within her stomach, that promptly made themselves known every time she thought about her real parents, and Newport itself. Like what had happened to her there had seeped into the actual place, therefore becoming its fault too.

**Marissa**

My Mom and Dad completely self destructed when I was a teenager. My Mom's a game playing, manipulative bitch. My Dad…well he used to be my hero. I was my Mom's favourite toy to play with, and he tried to save me from that. Only, he never really did. When he finally managed to rescue me from her, he decided to leave for Hawaii on his boat so he could 'find himself'. That was pretty much around the time that my Mom and her new husband Caleb, found out I was gay. Long story short, they told me to get over it or get out. So…I stood my ground and that was that. They threw me out. Dad told me to stop being a self-involved kid and grow up, and that I was going through a phase. He never came back.

There was a profound coldness to Marissa's voice that Alex had never heard in it before. The eerie calmness that the brunette retold the story with told her that Marissa had yet to make her peace with what happened. Her heart went out to her girlfriend, understanding what the pain of rejection on that level felt like. She thought it worse for Marissa on some level, because she had idolised her Father. It must have been a greater pain being gutted by someone you had made your hero, and thought would always be there for you. She on the other hand, had never had that with her own Father.

**Alex**

So, you ended up living with Seth and his parents?

**Marissa**

Yeah, I did. They've been amazing. They just turned into my parents, you know? One day I just started calling them Mom and Dad.

**Alex**

Wow. They didn't have any issues about you being a lesbian?

**Marissa**

No. Sandy and Kirsten Cohen are very laid back, liberal people. Shocking, considering they live in Newport. So, yeah, Seth is my brother.

There was more to be said; Marissa already knew Alex knew that. But she had gotten out the main of what had happened with her parents. It was funny, how so many years of anguish could be summed up like that. Recounted as though it had happened to some other girl, far away in another city. She remembered it all like it were yesterday though. She remembered her Dad, constantly telling her that he would always be there for her, no matter what. It had been the one thing that Marissa had ever been sure about in her whole life. Until the day that she had come to find out that it wasn't true. That had been the thing that had hurt her the most. It would be the thing that would stay with her to the end, the one that she would never find peace with. Julie Cooper had always been calculating and spiteful, but at least she had never claimed to be anything else. She had never made promises and then shattered them. At least Marissa had never expected anything else, and had always known where she stood with her Mother.

**Alex**

Do you have any other siblings?

**Marissa**

I have a little sister, Kaitlin. My real Mom tries to stop us from talking or seeing each other. She hasn't really managed, but it's hard. We don't get to see each other a lot. We write or email, talk on the phone. I miss her so much. She's 17 and I'm missing out on her life.

**Alex**

I'm sure she knows it's not your fault Marissa. You didn't really get given a choice, did you?

Marissa sighed shakily, feeling her eyes well up a little. She tried to stop it, and looked away from Alex and out of the rain covered window into the nothingness outside regretfully instead.

**Marissa**

Maybe not. But I could do more. I should do more.

Looking back as Alex put her hand over hers, she sighed again as the blonde gave her a look that she couldn't define, but was meant to let her know that it was okay. She nodded slightly, letting Alex knew she understood, before she let her lean over and kiss her softly. After Alex pulled back, there was a weighty silence looming over them, and she began to play with one of the rings on the blonde's hands, missing the thoughtful and pained look in those piercing grey blue eyes of hers. Until she started talking.

**Alex**

I got thrown out too. As soon as my parents found out I was gay, they had their excuse to wash their hands of me. They're not very open-minded people, more the stupid redneck types. So, I stayed with my Aunt for a week or so, before Sebastian helped me out. Ryan came with me too.

**Marissa**

Did they throw him out too?

**Alex**

No, Ryan could do no wrong in their eyes. He just refused to let me go it alone. He really tried to stick up for me.

**Marissa**

Wow.

**Alex**

Yeah, you have no idea how much it meant to me. It's kinda like you and Summer. He's always been there for me, like she's always been there for you. So I guess we were both luckier than we could have been.

Alex offered Marissa a lopsided smile, reminding them both that they at least had people that would go to bat for them in their corners. Ryan had done some amazing things for her over the years, like she knew that both Summer and Seth had done the same for Marissa. A lot of people didn't even get that. So she guessed they really could have been worse off. And now they had each other, which counted for something too. This was yet another thing that solidified their connection, because they knew how it felt. They understood one another's pain. Being rejected by the people that were supposed to love you the most, it wasn't easy and it never went away. It did things to your head that you couldn't come back from. At least they both got that, and didn't expect any different.

**Marissa**

I guess we were.

Marissa leaned forward again, capturing Alex's mouth aggressively this time. She put her hands on the sides of the blonde's face, drawing her closer as their mouths consumed one another. Eventually, when air became an issue, they broke apart, leaning their foreheads together and panting.

**Alex**

I can't get enough of you.

**Marissa**

I know the feeling.

After gulping down sufficient amounts of air, Marissa kissed Alex again. She hated to use the word obsessive, but that's what this thing with Alex was becoming. Obsessive and all consuming. Not in a weird psychotic way, but in a way that she knew that the blonde had gotten inside of her and she could never get her out. Not that she wanted her out.

**Marissa**

So are you gunna make good on fucking me for hours?

Alex smirked devilishly, her eyes never faltering away from Marissa's.

**Alex**

Drive.


	12. The Party

**Chapter Twelve – The Party **

**One week later **

**Friday **

**Marissa's house**

Alex rolled off of Marissa, virtually collapsing onto her back as she did. Like her brunette lover, she was panting heavily, covered in a fine sheen of sweat from their morning activity. It had honestly started off relatively innocently. Something had woken her up, and instead of going back to sleep, she had taken to just watching Marissa sleep instead. Only, her hand had been drawing lazy circles on her girlfriend's stomach, and when she had woken up, one thing had lead to another. Now she could barely move.

**Marissa**

Wow…

Marissa managed to utter in between her gulping breaths, still feeling the dizzying affects of orgasm. Alex merely flicked her hand limply, along with an extremely high-pitched and happy grunt in order to agree with her. It made Marissa chuckle lightly.

**Alex**

Do you think we're fucking too much?

Alex wondered, still a light squeak in her voice but having got her breath back enough to talk. She stared up at Marissa's ceiling, frowning very slightly as she posed the question.

**Marissa**

What, 'cos we're doing it morning, noon and night?

**Alex**

Yeah.

**Marissa**

No!

Marissa scoffed dismissively, as though Alex had lost her mind.

**Alex**

Good, me either.

They both laughed lightly, enjoying the comfortable and relaxed atmosphere between them and around the room. The truth was, even if the fact that they were having sex too much did bother them, which it didn't, they probably wouldn't be able to stop anyway.

**Alex**

Are you staying over after the party?

**Marissa**

Well it would be rude not to.

Alex raised a doubtful eyebrow, glancing at Marissa sideways so that she could see her out of the corner of her eye. She caught the playful, mischievous smirk even from her angle.

**Alex**

Ah ha! It has nothing to do with getting into my pants.

Marissa just shrugged, trying to feign some innocence.

**Marissa**

I have no idea what you're talking about.

**Alex**

Noooo!

Alex laughed as Marissa rolled over quickly and kissed her teasingly. Her skin was warm and her touches were intimate, and her kisses were affectionate.

**Marissa**

I can't help it. You're irresistible.

**Alex**

It's the purple streak. I get all the girls with the purple streak!

Alex joked roguishly, her eyes playful as they searched the ones in front of her that hadn't really taken offence but were pretending to as she earned herself a shove. She laughed lightly, brushing some of Marissa's hair back gently, before the brunette laid back down, this time cuddled up to her with her head on her shoulder. Alex didn't say anything as Marissa started to play with her hair, instead she just enjoyed the attention and the moment.

**Marissa**

There's something about you. And I'm not sure what it is, but it's there. I can't get enough of you.

Alex leaned her head down, putting her fingers under Marissa's chin as she did so she could guide her to lift her head up. As Marissa complied, she took her mouth again, kissing her hard.

**Alex**

I feel the same about you.

They kissed again, frantically, as Marissa moved around so she could lean into it more. If she had her way, this would be how she would spend her day. Though unfortunately, she had a company to run. And eventually, she had to pull away for air after a few moments of roaming Alex's mouth.

**Marissa**

Shit. I should get ready for work.

**Alex**

I know. I should go home and help Ryan organise.

**Marissa**

I'm excited about the party.

**Alex**

Me too. What time you coming?

**Marissa**

I'm picking Summer and Seth up at 8, so sometime after.

**Alex**

Sounds good.

According to Marissa, Summer and Seth had settled their fight pretty quickly. By Tuesday morning they were right back to being a happily married couple again, and this Anna person was no longer an issue. In fact, Summer had given her approval of accepting Anna's proposal for a comic, feeling confident enough to let her husband start making serious queries into their former acquaintance's ideas. Even though Alex had only met them the once by then, she was glad to hear that they had made up.

They had had dinner again, this time at a restaurant that Alex's friend owned and had gotten an invite to the grand reopening after being refurbished. The four had had a great night, and Alex had found herself liking the couple more and more. They were easy to talk to and joke around with, and she felt extremely relaxed around them. They were genuine and honest people, and despite where they came from, held no airs or graces. And that's what she liked in people. She was looking forward to seeing them again at her party, to which she had invited them.

As for her and Marissa, this past week had been great. Marissa had been by the club a couple of nights and had started bonding with her own friends, Lisa included. Ryan and Emma had been there to hang out with too, and as Marissa and Ryan got to know one another better, she had done the same with Emma. They had spent a lot of time with Holly too. Alex had introduced Marissa to a few other friends of hers, one of them the owner of an art gallery that the brunette actually frequented. It was a good feeling, her girlfriend getting along with her friends. It turned out that they also had some friends in common, but then they were lesbians in West Hollywood, it was bound to have happened.

**Marissa**

Cool. I'm going to get a shower before I'm late.

Marissa sighed a little, wiggling herself free from the sheet as she began to roll out of bed.

**Alex**

You want some company?

The brunette just laughed and shook her head in reply, making her way toward the door, quite happy in all her naked glory.

**Marissa**

No!

**Alex**

But I could help…

**Marissa**

_Nothing_ you're about to say will get me to work on time!

Knowing that if she gave Alex the chance, she would make her be late for work. Although she desperately wanted the blonde to accompany her to the shower, she knew that if she was late getting there, she would be late getting out. And she didn't want that to happen. Tonight she was meeting a lot of the friends that Alex grew up with. She needed time to prepare and get herself ready, which meant getting out of work early, or at least on time. She needed panic time!

**Alex**

Buzz kill!

**Kelly residence**

After Marissa had finished in the bathroom, Alex had taken a shower and gotten ready too. They had chatted some more as they had, and eaten a quick breakfast before kissing goodbye and driving off their separate ways.

Upon arriving home, Alex breezed in happily, smiling toward Ryan that was currently yawning into his almost finished cup of coffee. Even though he was dressed, his hair still stuck up in places, and she wondered if Holly had had the unfortunate delight of being driven to school by her Dad who forgot to brush his hair this morning.

**Alex**

Okay, I'm here. Where are we starting?

**Ryan**

Why have you got that much energy when you obviously haven't slept much?

Ryan wondered suspiciously, stealing a weary look at his far too cheery sister. Alex was never this happy in the morning, _ever_. He usually just received grunts and death glares from her when she rolled out of bed. But now, she just smirked as though she knew the secret of life, and shrugged nonchalantly.

**Alex**

Natural high?

**Ryan**

So it's going well.

Alex smiled immediately at her brother's observation, not having to ask what he was talking about.

**Alex**

Yeah. She's…I trust her. I told her about stuff that happened.

The admission earned herself a clearly surprised look, which she had suspected he would give her. But underneath that, he also looked impressed too. Not in a patronising way, like he had never believed in her. But in that way that he had known she could do it all along despite the fact she hadn't. It was brotherly and it was Ryan all over.

**Ryan**

Wow. Really. You've never done that before.

**Alex**

I know.

He watched her for a second, as she looked down, thoughts flickering through her powerful grey blue eyes. His own eyes narrowed slightly, as he recognised something within her thoughts. Her eyes were giving her away, since she was too preoccupied thinking, presumably about Marissa, to guard them.

**Ryan**

You're falling for her, aren't you?

Alex looked back up at him quickly, startled that he had realised but not at the same time. If there were anyone that could pick it up in her, even if she tried to keep it secret, it would be Ryan. Not just because they were twins, but because he was so damn intuitive.

**Alex**

You know what, I just might be.

**Ryan**

I'm so proud of you.

Moving forward, Ryan enveloped Alex into a tight, warm embrace, feeling the last of his fear falling away. Finally the day had come that Alex let herself feel something real. After all that she had been through, she deserved to let herself be happy. And she had finally come to realise that. She knew that she didn't have to punish herself anymore, or believe the things she had been told about herself.

As Emma barrelled around the corner, unaware of the delicate moment between the twins, they looked up but didn't separate. Upon seeing them there, the redhead stopped immediately, flushing red and looking beyond guilty for interrupting them. Ryan placed a kiss on his sister's forehead before they pulled apart.

**Emma**

I am _sooo_ sorry.

**Alex**

Hey, don't worry about it. How're you?

Alex shrugged forgivingly, stepping forward and giving Emma a welcoming, friendly hug. The more she got to know Emma, the more she liked her. And the more she approved of the relationship she had with her brother. Emma was exactly the kind of girl she hoped Ryan would end up with. She was great with Holly too, which she was also relieved about. There had been a few times when the girl Ryan had been interested in had fled for the hills upon hearing he had a daughter. She was glad that one of them had finally taken that in her stride, considering it to be one of his qualities. This past week, as the four of them had hung out with her niece, she had seen the way Holly responded to Emma too.

**Emma**

Uh…exhausted. These book tours and what have you that Marissa's hooked me up with are crazy! I don't know how she does it all of the time.

**Alex**

Crazy but great. You so love it.

**Emma**

Yeah I do! It's really helped the business take off.

**Alex**

Exciting, isn't it?

**Emma**

It really is.

Ryan earned himself a glare from his girlfriend and his sister as he clapped his hands, making both of them jump and stop talking. He actually hadn't meant to make them jump so much, but he had wanted them to stop talking so they wouldn't go off on a tangent and start yapping about work and whatever came after it. They had a lot of stuff to do for the party tonight; he needed them to focus on that instead.

**Ryan**

So, shall we get started on setting up?

**Alex**

Sure. Want me to help you move stuff?

**Ryan**

Nah, I'll take the manly heavy lifting if you take the running around town?

**Alex**

No heavy lifting? Works for me!

**Emma**

What about me?

**Ryan**

Can you give Alex a hand?

**Emma**

Sure, no problem. There's a lot to pick up, huh?

**Alex**

Yup.

**Ryan**

Can you do it for 2? I'll need Emma to help me and Johnny to set up the lights when you do your cooking thing.

Alex raised her eyebrow, folding her arms and giving Ryan a looked that dared him to put his other foot in it.

**Alex**

My 'cooking thing'?

**Ryan**

Yes, your wonderful, inventive, miraculous cooking thing.

Ryan grinned hopefully; trying to give her an innocent and loving puppy dog look as he buttered her up for his bad choice of words.

**Alex**

Okay back peddler, laying the compliments on a little thick. We'll be back for 2. You ready?

**Emma**

As I'll ever be.

**Alex**

Let's go then.

Alex had grabbed a list of the stuff that she needed to pick up off of the top of the counter, and headed out with Emma in tow. She drove to the club first, quickly running up to her office to sign off on a couple of things, then to the store room to grab the extra crates of drink she had ordered for the party. She had given Emma the list to tick things off on, figuring that she would probably lose it at some point along the way like the last time they had thrown a party. It was definitely safer for Emma to handle it.

Now on the road again, after stopping a couple more times, Alex had begun to drum away on her steering wheel happily as she whizzed in and out of traffic. So far, the morning had been easy going, they had stopped to have a coffee and chat a little bit, before heading back to their duties. Now, she didn't notice Emma watching her in amusement as her drumming turned into humming, her shoulders swaying to the beat of the music. Eventually, she just forgot herself and moved on to full blown singing.

**Alex**

_And you see a girls brown body dancing through the turquoise,  
And her footprints make you follow where the sky loves the sea.  
And when your fingers find her, she drowns you in her body,  
Carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of your mind._

As she began drumming again, moving her head to the guitar rip in the song, she heard Emma chuckle, and suddenly realised that she wasn't alone. She glanced at the redhead sheepishly to see that she was watching her amusedly, and couldn't stop herself from blushing profusely.

**Alex**

Sorry.

**Emma**

No, don't stop. You have a really good voice.

**Alex**

Thanks.

**Emma**

You love your music, don't you?

Alex beamed immediately, nodding her head in confirmation.

**Alex**

I _really_ do. I just…I don't think life would be life without music. I know it makes me a geek, but I don't care.

**Emma**

I don't think it makes you a geek. You're right. Music affects people. Changes their moods, helps them through various things in their life. Even helps people remember stuff they thought was forgotten.

**Alex**

Exactly.

**Emma**

I've seen your collection. You're really into your punk stuff. There are some there that I don't even recognise.

**Alex**

Really? Well we'll just have to change that. But yeah, punk is good. I love the classics, that whole era of punk and intense, psychedelic rock. The Who, Pink Floyd, Janis J, Jimmi H, The Stones, The Doors…all of them. They raised me.

**Emma**

Who was that you were just singing?

**Alex**

Cream and Eric Clapton. More examples of genius!

Emma laughed at Alex's good mood and enthusiasm in talking about the music. It was so evident that she really did have an obsession with music, from the way she talked about it, to her collection, to the fact that her club was one of the hottest scenes right now due to her choices of live acts and DJ's. Alex Kelly had the reputation for being a genius at choosing genius.

**Emma**

So what else do you like?

Alex bugged her eyes out, wondering if Emma knew the depth of that question.

**Alex**

Besides everything? Okay, seriously, there's not a whole lot I don't like. I love rock music, the alternative stuff. Nu metal, ska, metal, goth, progressive, symphonic. I like funk, a little bit of dance. Folk, country, classical. Trip-hop and symphonic are my things right now though; I've really gotten into them recently.

**Emma**

Really? Do you like Puracane?

**Alex**

I adore Puracane. And Portishead, Delirium, Tricky, Massive Attack…the list goes on.

**Emma**

Me too! I just got into Poe as well.

Alex flailed excitedly, both happy at being able to talk about her passion for music which was always a good thing, but also because she had something else to bond over with Emma.

**Alex**

Oh my god I _love_ Poe. I saw her in New York and she's just amazing. I'd love to book her for the club. I'm working on getting God-Des & She in right now, along with Within Temptation and Muse too.

**Emma**

I'm so jealous. So, if you can sing like you do, how come you never started your own band?

Emma wondered, raising an eyebrow. From the one verse that she had heard, there was no doubt in her mind that Alex could have chosen a career within music. She could have fronted a band, probably even gone it alone. But the blonde just shrugged nonchalantly.

**Alex**

I dunno, I guess I'd rather be a music lover than a music maker. Don't get me wrong, I love it I do, but I couldn't do it. I love being a chef, I love running a club. That's my life.

**Emma**

I can get that. I guess it's the same for me. I love books and I read all of the time, but I don't want to write one. Owning the store is enough for me.

**Alex**

Yeah, that's it.

Alex agreed, scowling at another driver as he raced past her. She shook her head, then went back to concentrating on turning off down another road. She cleared her throat as she adjusted her sunglasses, breathing in deeply as she thought about her club. Her life was pretty much just how she liked it. More than she had ever anticipated, actually. She had been told for so many years by her parents that she would amount to nothing that she had ended up believing it. That and she had heard a lot of the older kids in her neighbourhood talk about how they were going to get out of Chino and do something. Only to end up in jail or get pregnant before their high school graduation.

It had made her even more determined to get herself out of there so the same didn't happen to her, but she had never really believed she would actually amount to anything. For a while, anyway. Those feelings had begun to vanish once that she had gotten out from her parents grasp. After Sebastian had started teaching her something real. Gave her something to focus on. Then she knew how capable she was. Although she still felt as though she belonged in the darkness, she knew she was better than what she had been lead to believe. But building The Purple Heart and having it be one of the best clubs in town that people flocked to, gay or straight, boy or girl, even celebrities, it was an amazing feeling. And she was happy with that. That and being able to cook when she had the chance.

**Emma**

You know, I was so nervous about meeting you.

Alex frowned, breaking out of her thoughts as she glanced at Emma.

**Alex**

Why?

**Emma**

When I started getting to know Ryan, it became pretty obvious how important you are to him. And then we starting dating and what have you, I realised that things would be less than desirable if we ended up hating each other.

**Alex**

I think you're really good for my brother.

Alex responded seriously, giving Emma a sincere look for a moment before looking at the road again.

**Emma**

Honestly?

**Alex**

Yeah. And Holly really loves you.

**Emma**

The feeling is mutual. She's such a great kid.

**Alex**

Yeah, she is. Unfortunately though, a lot of girls got spooked off when they found out about her. It was pretty hard on Ryan.

**Emma**

Yeah I know. I don't know why they did that though; all I can say is their loss is my gain. I'm pretty hard to scare off.

**Alex**

That's actually a good job, considering you're dating a Kelly.

Again Alex responded seriously, glad that Emma was the type of girl that would stick around through harder times. It really was a good job, considering the amount of shit that Ryan and herself had been through, and the fact that a lot of the time trouble seemed to find them. They had a lot of past, and they were full on people. Both with the tendency to be mysterious and intense. She thought briefly that Marissa and Emma both had their work cut out for them. But she knew they could handle it at least.

**Kelly residence**

**1:30pm**

**Emma**

Wow, so manly and rugged. I like it!

Ryan turned around and smiled widely, still looking pleased with himself that he had managed to move everything, creating a good sized space in the large living room. The sofa and chairs were pushed to the sides, along with a couple of tables that would hold the food and drink. In the middle was an empty space though, and near the patio doors in the corner were the signs of a sound system waiting to be set up. He had been stood in the middle of his efforts, a little sweaty and just wearing his vest now, his shirt having been discarded a while ago.

**Ryan**

You survived Alex's driving then.

He observed as though congratulating Emma for managing to stay alive. It wasn't that his sister was a bad driver; in fact she was better than anyone he knew, including himself. But he knew Alex had scared a few people with her driving, as she sometimes seemed indifferent to the other cars as though she wasn't paying attention or just assumed people would move for her.

**Alex**

I heard that!

He snickered at her, looking in the direction of the kitchen as she walked through the door holding three glasses of juice. Then he smiled again, seeing the impressed look cross Alex's features as she dropped her jaw lightly.

**Alex**

Wow, you hauled ass.

**Ryan**

Yup.

Alex handed Ryan and Emma their drinks, and continued looking around as she began to drink hers, mentally mapping out where stuff was going to go and how the finished product would look.

**Ryan**

So, are you going to dazzle Marissa with your dancing skills?

Looking back at Ryan, Alex raised an eyebrow and shot him a death glare.

**Alex**

I dunno, are you gunna dazzle Emma with yours?

Emma perked up immediately, looking up at Ryan as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

**Emma**

Oooh, there's dancing?

Ryan shot Alex the same glare that she had given him, knowing that now she had said it, Emma wouldn't let it go. Which of course, had been Alex's intention.

**Ryan**

Thanks sis.

The blonde just raised her glass toward him casually.

**Alex**

Anytime.

**Ryan**

So _are_ you?

**Alex**

Marissa has seen me dance; she's been there, dancing with me.

She answered, frowning at the absurdity of Ryan's question. Her free hand flailed a little, as she recalled some of the times she had danced with Marissa. She knew for a fact that Ryan had seen them dance together, and was a little irritated at the pointless question.

**Ryan**

No, no, no. If you're referring to the club, that's called _grinding_, not dancing. _Mounting_ might not be too far a stretch.

Alex scoffed at him, shaking her head as she flicked her hand at him again.

**Alex**

You're exaggerating!

**Emma**

No, he's really not. It was definitely grinding.

**Alex**

You two pay _far_ too much attention to what Marissa and I do. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do my 'cooking thing'.

She scorned defensively, knowing that she didn't actually have a comeback to offer. Which of course, meant that they were right. When she thought about it, she had to admit, if only to herself, that she hadn't really danced in front of Marissa. Other than the lecherous grinding that they got up to. Not real dancing, that she had learnt growing up. The kind of dancing that had kept her out of trouble when she was a kid, that her friends had learnt too. One of the main things about these parties that occurred, was the dance competitions that they had now, in honour of those days. Alex cringed, having totally forgotten about that when she had invited her girlfriend. She hadn't told her anything about it, or the fact that she could dance. It was going to be an interesting evening, if nothing else. 

**7:50pm **

**Seth and Summer's house**

Pushing the door open to Summer and Seth's house, Marissa made her way inside casually. She walked through the hall, curiously checking the living room and kitchen, only to find them empty. Silently, she ventured through down the hall toward the bedroom, where she finally heard voices. She tapped on the door gently.

**Marissa**

Guys?

**Summer**

Thank god! Coop, get in here.

At Summer's beckoning, Marissa pushed the bedroom door open and stepped into the large room. Seth was sitting patiently on the bottom of the bed, looking as though he were ready to go. Summer however, was stood before him, still half naked and looking perplexed as she looked up at her. Marissa raised an eyebrow as she watched her friend, clad in everything but a shirt, swing her two choices of tops away from Seth and toward her.

**Summer**

Which top goes better with this skirt?

She wondered pleadingly, lifting them up higher as though Marissa couldn't possibly make her judgement if she didn't.

**Marissa**

The blue one.

**Seth**

Not the red one?

**Marissa**

No, it's definitely the blue one.

Marissa confirmed with a small shrug.

**Summer**

Sorry honey, you're overruled. Coop spends much more time wearing them as well as admiring them.

Summer explained as she put the red shirt away and began to put on the blue one. Both Marissa and Seth shrugged good naturedly, not being able to argue against her statement.

**Seth**

Hey, she's a girl that likes girls. She has me beat. I just think anything looks good on you.

The dark brunette gushed a little as she buttoned up her shirt.

**Summer**

Awww, thanks honey.

She leant down and kissed her husband quickly; thankful for his compliment and also knowing that he meant it. Everyone back home had told them they were stupid for getting married so young. Everyone but Marissa and the Cohen's. They all said it would end in tears. Even her Father had had his doubts at first. But Seth still looked at her like he always had. If anything, they had only become stronger and closer over the years. They had Mia, who had been created out of their love. Summer really couldn't have asked for anything more. As odd a choice as Seth was, she loved him dearly anyway.

**Marissa**

Cute boots Sum.

Snapping out of her little reverie, Summer smiled gratefully at Marissa as she plonked herself next to Seth. She was looking particularly hot tonight, more so than usual. With a thigh length black skirt and a particularly form fitting white, short sleeved shirt that was guaranteed to drive Alex crazy. Which was most likely the point, Summer mused. The shirt boasted everything Marissa had to offer, without making her look slutty. Instead of letting her hair down, Marissa had chosen to tie it up loosely, letting strands fall to the side of her face.

**Summer**

Thanks sweetie. I love what you're wearing.

**Marissa**

I haven't tried too hard?

**Summer**

No, why?

**Marissa**

Well, it's a party, so I have to look good. It's _Alex's_ party, so I have to look _hot_. And I'm meeting her friends, so I have to look _gorgeous_.

Marissa reasoned, picking some imaginary lint off of her skirt. The truth was, she had no idea how to dress for tonight. She knew how to dress herself accordingly for different things, but this party had perplexed her. Alex had so many varied friends; she didn't know how this party would turn out. She knew a lot of her older friends would be there, people she grew up with and what not. Which she knew most were a far cry from some of the arty, business type friends she had already been introduced to. So did she go smarter? Or dressed up? Or sexy, or casual? In the end she had gone for simple, hoping that it would fit the purpose.

**Summer**

Awww someone's nervous. Don't worry, good, hot and gorgeous all accounted for.

**Marissa**

Thanks. Seth, you look rather fetching yourself. Did Summer dress you again?

**Seth**

Don't make it sound so Freudian!

Marissa laughed at his groan and whine as he winced dryly. Which of course, meant that Summer had indeed dressed him. He looked good though, in some dark jeans and a t-shirt with a jacket over it. Smart yet casual, bringing out how hansom he was but still having the undertone of geekiness that he liked so much. One thing Summer had never robbed him of was his individuality. Actually, Marissa suspected that it was the geek in him that her friend responded to.

**Marissa**

Sorry. Anyway, you look good. Are we ready to go?

**Summer**

Yes, I am now ready to go. Cohen's been ready for ages.

**Seth**

See? Not so much of a girl if I can get ready in 10 minutes.

**Summer**

Hmm yes, you're a man after all!

**Seth**

You better believe it baby!

Seth lunged at her playfully, making her squeal. She laughed, putting her hands on the sides of his face and gave him another quick kiss before picking up her bag and turning to Marissa.

**Summer**

Are you sure you don't want to take a cab? Surely you're not refraining from alcohol?

**Marissa**

I'm staying at Alex's.

**Summer**

Why settle for one when you can have both, I taught you well! Lead the way.

Marissa chuckled as they left the room, smirking as her friends said goodbye to the babysitter before checking in on Mia. After they had, they proceeded out to the car.

**Kelly residence**

It wasn't long before Marissa pulled up near her girlfriend's house, parking up behind some other cars that were undoubtedly parked there for the party. She smiled as they got out, hearing the music from inside, along with the chattering voices of people outside having a smoke or getting some air. The house was decorated in lights, making it obvious where the party was at. Quickly, the three friends made there way inside.

**Seth**

Awesome party.

Seth mused as he followed Marissa into the hall, looking around to see some of the fairy lights strung up. Now they were inside, the music was a little louder. He squeezed Summer's hand, who was following him, still looking around the house, and its party guests, with interest.

As they rounded into the main living room, they saw a throng of people standing, sitting or dancing around the room. There were drinks and food spread out along two tables by the wall, along with a beer keg and a DJ in the corner currently bouncing to the music he was playing. Everyone had a smile on their face, either talking or dancing with one another happily. The patio doors were open, not only to let the warm night air inside, but to let people walk out onto the deck that lead onto the beach outside. There were lights out there too, with some torch sticks along the path, and deck warmers in case it got chilly.

**Summer**

Oh my god, they've really gone all out.

Summer voiced all of their awe, as they all looked around, suitably impressed. Even Marissa looked somewhat stunned, seemingly having no idea that the party was going to be this large and organised. It looked as though Alex and her brother had planned it down to the last detail.

**Marissa**

Yeah it looks great.

As she looked around, overwhelmed by the sight of everything, Marissa caught sight of a familiar face. She smiled as she saw Emma coming over to her, looking enthusiastic and giddy.

**Marissa**

Emma, hey.

Leaning in, the brunette hugged the redhead warmly.

**Emma**

Hey you're here. Isn't this great, it's huge! Everyone is _really_ nice.

**Marissa**

It looks cool. Hey, you remember Summer right?

Marissa wondered, pointing toward Summer casually. Emma smiled and nodded quickly.

**Emma**

Yeah, hey Summer. Thanks a lot for helping me out.

She leaned in to give Summer a quick, welcoming and thankful hug. She had been introduced to Summer by Marissa at CCR, when she had been helping her get some book signings scheduled at her store. Seeing that Summer did pretty much all of that stuff, the brunette had called her in to consult. Emma had liked her, even though they had only been able to talk for a short time as Summer had been heading for a meeting. She was glad she was here, so she could get to know her a little better.

**Summer**

No problem, anytime. This is Seth Cohen my husband. You didn't get to meet him at the office.

**Emma**

It's really nice to meet you Seth. I'm Emma Perkins, Ryan's girlfriend.

**Seth**

How do you do Emma, nice to meet you.

**Emma**

So come on guys, come and get a drink.

The four of them moved toward the drinks table, looking at the selection of booze on offer. Breaking away from the others, Marissa wondered over to the tub filled with ice and beer, and snagged a Corona out of it. Uncapping it, she took a drink as she began to look at the other bottles. There were different selections of liquor and wine available, and she ran her fingers over some of them to read what they were, almost as though she were in a trance. As she picked up one of the wines, wanting to see what it was, Summer popped up beside her, holding up a glass. Knowingly, Marissa poured the deep red wine into it for her. Then, the pair stepped away a little, leaving Emma and Seth to talk about what they were going to have, and started to survey the crowd in front of them.

**Summer**

Hey, there she is.

Summer nudged her friend, spotting Alex near a door that she assumed lead into the kitchen. She knew Marissa had been looking for her, so decided to aid her in her quest.

Marissa smiled affectionately, her eyes settling on her girlfriend, seeing that she was in the midst of a few people, holding the conversation by telling some kind of story. The blonde was flailing her hands slightly to indicate how big something was, completely taken away with whatever it was she was talking about. When Alex made a gesture with her hand, Marissa figured that it was a gesture for water, which lead her to conclude that she was talking about surfing. The thought made her roll her eyes, but smile more nevertheless.

**Summer**

Aren't you gunna go say hi?

**Marissa**

No, I'm just enjoying a good stare.

The brunette sighed contentedly, sipping her beer and making Summer chuckle. But just as she said it, they watched as a tall, good-looking guy rushed up to the subject in question, grabbing her away eagerly. He pulled her into the middle of the dance floor, laughing at her meagre objections as he did, as the song had changed to Put Your Back Into It by Ice Cube.

Marissa watched enquiringly as Alex crossed her arms, about to open her mouth to no doubt refuse to dance. She was stopped, as the tall guy said something that made her laugh and drop her hands. She nodded lightly, eyes sparkling as she pretended to glare at him. He only gave her a shit eating smile as they both started dancing, gaining the attention of a few of the party guests as they really got into it, pulling out skilled moves and imaginative combinations.

**Summer**

Wow…I'm kinda turned on.

**Seth**

Join the club.

As Marissa focused on the actions of her girlfriend, becoming increasingly turned on as she did, she barely noticed Seth come to stand beside them, and the fact that they were both all but drooling over her. It was only a few seconds later that she realised what they had said, snapping out of her heated daze to nudge them lightly.

**Marissa**

Hey! Stop perving.

**Summer**

Not our fault your girlfriend is hot and can hold her own on the floor.

**Seth**

Aren't you kinda jealous she's doing that with him?

Shrugging, Marissa looked back at Alex, who was now trying not to laugh as she and the guy got up in each other's face as they danced.

**Marissa**

She's gay, what have I to be worried about? I just like watching her move.

**Seth**

Now who's the pervert?

**Marissa**

Well I'm allowed, I sleep with her.

She reasoned, suddenly aware that there were a lot of people watching Alex with desire in their eyes. It didn't make her jealous per say, but it did turn her on even more. Knowing she was the only one that got to be with Alex, and got to go bed with her at the end of the night, it gave her a high.

As the song came to an end, Alex caught sight of her girlfriend and her friends watching her from the side of the room. Looking directly at Marissa as she caught her breath, she patted her friend on the arm before heading in her girlfriend's direction. She had had no idea that she was here; if she had she might have thought twice about dancing. The look in Marissa's eyes was a little hard to make out, and she shoved her hands part way into her jeans pockets, wondering if the brunette had a problem with it or not.

**Alex**

Hey…

**Marissa**

Hey.

As soon as Alex got within reaching distance, Marissa used her free hand to curl her finger through one of her belt loops and pulled her forward. As she pulled Alex close enough so their bodies were pressed up against one another, she moved her mouth next to her ear so no one else could hear what she had to say.

**Marissa**

You are so. Fucking. Hot. I want you to dance for me later.

She pulled back, her eyes not faltering as Alex looked at her, visibly flustered from desire. However, she did manage to nod slowly, her eyes refusing to move away from the intimate moment either. It wasn't until Marissa dropped her gaze, that Alex realised that they were at her party and there were really other people surrounding them. Because for a moment there, everything else but Marissa had just faded away. So she cleared her throat, before looking over at Summer and Seth.

**Alex**

Hey guys, I'm really glad you could make it.

She welcomed politely, giving both of them a warm hug in greeting.

**Seth**

Thanks for inviting us, this party rocks.

**Alex**

Thanks and no problem.

Just as she pulled away from Seth, out the corner of her eye, Alex spotted her brother walking by not far from them. Quickly, she turned, flailing an arm to try and catch his attention over the music.

**Alex**

Ryan, come over here.

Ryan looked up as his sister beckoned him loudly, and raised a curious eyebrow as he turned in direction and began to walk toward her as requested. He smiled and waved at Marissa, who did the same back, before coming to a stop before Alex and looked at her expectantly.

**Alex**

This is my brother Ryan. Ry this is Summer, Marissa's best friend, and Seth her brother.

Pulling out his hand from his jeans pocket, Ryan gladly offered the couple it to shake politely. He had heard quite a bit about Summer and Seth since his sister had met them over dinner at their house. It was nice to finally put faces to the names. And truth be told, Ryan had been looking forward to meeting the infamous Seth Cohen, creator of one of his favourite comic books.

**Ryan**

Hey nice to meet you. Seth, love the comic man.

Immediately, a connection was forged. Right away, the guys fell into an easy conversation, making the three girls around them smile. Despite that they were suddenly being ignored, especially as Ryan and Seth walked away from them, they were glad that they had gotten along so well so fast.

**Summer**

Well at least he didn't get beat up. I'm a proud wife!

Summer sniffled, placing a hand over her heart and looking mockingly proud. Marissa and Alex laughed at her, before she laughed as well. They talked for a few moments, musing on the inevitable friendship between the guys, before Alex excused herself for a moment, explaining that she had to check on something in the kitchen. As she walked away, she didn't notice Marissa give Summer her beer to look after, before following her to the kitchen.

**Marissa**

Need some help?

Alex looked up, surprised, as she lifted a trey out of the oven carefully. It was quieter in here, they didn't have to talk as loud and there was no one here to disturb them. Only, for once, Alex didn't have any unholy intentions.

**Alex**

Oh, no it's okay I got it. It's not going out yet, just wanted to get it cooked so I could turn the oven off.

Marissa just nodded, not actually caring much about the food right now. She just watched as Alex transferred some kind of little pastry things into a serving bowl, before putting the hot trey in the sink and running cold water over it. Innocently, she made away across the kitchen, inch by inch. Finally, she made it over to Alex, who was so focused on her task that she didn't notice her there. Until she turned around, and they came face to face.

**Marissa**

Hello.

**Alex**

Hello!

Surprised but not unhappy to find Marissa right in front of her, Alex chuckled lightly, looping her arms around her girlfriend's neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Her skin tingled as Marissa put her arms on her sides, pulling them a little closer together, deepening the exploratory kiss between them. Neither of them heard the kitchen door open, or noticed the four girls slip inside the kitchen.

**Shelly**

Typical. Leave Alex alone with a girl for two minutes by herself, and look what happens!

Alex sighed as she reluctantly pulled out of the kiss, hearing the other girls snicker and giggle. Instead of moving away from Marissa, she still kept her arms around her neck, and leaned forward into her, looking over her shoulder toward her friends that she could quite happily string up at this very moment.

**Alex**

Do you know the meaning of 'private moment' or do you just ignore it anyway?

Shelly, the moment breaker, shrugged indifferently.

**Shelly**

I aim to ignore it, specially when it spoils your fun.

**Alex**

Oh, thanks, I feel so special.

**Shelly**

So who's the lucky birdie? Anyone we know?

Alex glared at her murderously; looking suitably alarmed enough to relate to her friend that she had chosen the wrong words for her question. Clearing her throat, Alex finally pulled back from Marissa, instantly missing her body's contact. She kept hold of the brunette's hand, as she turned around, obviously curious to see who was there.

**Alex**

Yeah…so erm…this is Marissa. My _girlfriend_ Marissa.

Alex introduced through gritted teeth, still staring at her friends with that murderous glare that did actually make them fear for their lives. One thing that they had learnt fast, you didn't want to piss Alex Kelly off. Life just wasn't worth living if you did. Especially when she pinned you with a stare that could almost kill on its own.

**Alex**

Marissa, these are my _ex_ friends Shelly, Lucy, Sky and Jojo.

The girls moved forward, now brandishing polite and friendly smiles as they all reached forward to shake Marissa's hand.

**Marissa**

It's nice to meet you.

**Shelly**

So you must be brave, taking on Alex.

Now hugging Marissa from behind, Alex glared petulantly over her shoulder.

**Alex**

Hey, I'm not a chore you know.

**Sky**

Yeah, you kind of are darlin'. Own it.

Alex sniggered at her friend.

**Alex**

_Own_ _it_? God you're _so_ gay.

**Sky**

And I own that.

Sky replied neutrally, almost patiently.

**Alex**

Are you going to say things like that all night?

**Lucy**

Not if I can shut her up first.

Alex grimaced at the lustful, almost devouring look that Lucy was looking at Sky with, making her wonder what the hell was going on.

**Alex**

Okay whoa! Stop. You're freaking me out. When did this happen? Why is it happening and how come I didn't know?

They both shrugged, still lost in a heated gaze.

**Lucy**

It just did. Not long ago. You've been...preoccupied.

**Alex**

Wow.

**Jojo**

You haven't seen the worst bit yet.

**Alex**

What's the worst bit?

Alex, Shelley and Jojo looked horrified as Sky dragged Lucy into a rather full on and heated make out session. Immediately, Alex screwed up her face.

**Jojo**

That is.

**Alex**

Oh _gross_ you guys. God, does it go away if I shut my eyes and open them again?

Alex squeezed Marissa as she heard her scoff, then buried her face into her shoulder so she didn't have to witness the depravity going on in front of her.

**Shelly**

No, we tried it.

**Alex**

I think my eyes are bleeding. Think of nice things Alex, lots of nice things.

**Shelly**

Oh it'll take some seriously nice things to stop that from burning through.

**Alex**

Don't worry, I have some good images.

Marissa nudged back into her playfully, satisfied as Alex grunted ever so slightly at being shoved against the counter behind her. She still refused to look up though.

**Marissa**

So what about you guys? Are you erm…with anyone?

Marissa enquired delicately, not wanting to assume that Jojo and Shelly were a couple, or gay or whatever. There were so many different people here, of all kinds of orientation, that she didn't want to take anything for granted. But she didn't want to offend them either.

**Shelly**

I'm currently single of both genders, and remaining just so.

**Jojo**

I have a boyfriend that's milling around here somewhere. Johnny.

**Alex**

Jojo and Johnny, it never gets hard to say.

Marissa laughed as Alex finally came out from hiding in her shoulder.

**Marissa**

So you're not…

**Jojo**

Gay? No. I tried the whole kissing a girl thing, it didn't take. Sorry Alex.

At that, Marissa looked at her girlfriend suspiciously, enjoying the panicked look shooting through Alex's eyes as she squirmed.

**Alex**

Momentary lapse in judgement. And her experiment. You so didn't break my heart Jojo.

**Jojo**

Denial is a powerful thing honey.

Alex couldn't help but laugh at her friends brazen and flippant over confidence, knowing that Marissa wasn't actually angry or jealous of her. She just had a sadistic pleasure in watching her squirm on the spot.

**Alex**

Can we go and talk somewhere else? Near alcohol? I'm feeling a little nauseous.

**Shelly**

Happened to us too my friend.

Immediately, Alex retracted herself away from Marissa but still kept a tight hold of her hand, and began to pull her in the direction of the main party again. Watching Sky and Lucy make out like there was no tomorrow just wasn't her idea of fun. It wasn't as though she wasn't happy for them, in a reluctant, still very disturbed kind of way. It was just that she had never seen it coming, it seemed so alien. Still, she guessed that they had at least found something worthy of exploring, and she couldn't fault them for it. She just couldn't stand around and watch them either.

Two hours later, Marissa found herself back at the drinks table. She plucked another beer out of the ice bucket, uncapped it and then turned around as she took a long drink. This was her fifth bottle. Her body swayed slightly, in time with the music that was coursing through the house. During the last two hours, she had talked to so many people she had lost track of most of their names. Apparently, they had been rather eager to come and meet Alex Kelly's girlfriend, which made her not so much uncomfortable, but rather quite confused. Almost as though she was the latest animal at the zoo that everyone had to come and look at. Still, she had enjoyed talking to them none the less. Alex definitely had an interesting selection of friends. Some of them were professional, some weren't. Gay, straight, bi…it didn't seem to matter. The one thread that they had in common, was that they seemed to be genuine people. Something which she already knew Alex demanded out of the people she chose to associate with.

Seth was still off talking to Ryan, and Summer had been making the rounds amongst the groups of people too. Never let it be said that Summer Roberts couldn't strike up a conversation with anyone. She had danced with a few people, until she had grown thirsty and sought out both some more booze and Marissa. After another round of answering questions about herself and when and how she had met Alex, Marissa had excused herself to go get another drink as Seth had finally emerged, taking Summer onto the dancing floor where they currently remained in some rather provocative grinding. Alex had disappeared a little while ago; to a place Marissa had no idea. So, she just watched over the party now, sipping her beer contentedly.

**Jojo**

Hey Marissa. Enjoying the party?

Marissa snapped out of her daze, turning to see Jojo unscrewing the cap off her beer with a friendly look in her eyes.

**Marissa**

Yeah it's great. I didn't expect it to be so…

**Jojo**

Huge? I know. Alex and Ryan know a lot of people.

**Marissa**

Yeah, so I see.

**Jojo**

You seem somewhat overwhelmed.

Marissa shrugged lightly, nodding but still smirking.

**Marissa**

I've just never had to answer so many questions about myself in one go.

Jojo chuckled and nodded, having noticed that Marissa had been approached by a lot of people. She had seemed to be dealing well with it, remaining courteous and friendly.

**Jojo**

Don't think too much of it, people are just interested in you is all. Alex has only ever had one other girlfriend before, so it's a little of a surprise for everyone. Plus, you know, you're Marissa Cooper.

Marissa looked at the other girl oddly, quirking an eyebrow questioningly.

**Marissa**

What do you mean?

**Jojo**

I mean you're well known. You're a highflying lesbian, please don't tell me you don't know what they say and write about you?

**Marissa**

Not really. I have a company to run, I don't really get chance to read scene magazines. And when I'm not running my company, I'm either with Alex or my family.

**Jojo**

Well honey, it might come as a shock to you, but people love you. You're like some kind of celebrity in the gay world. The straight one even. You started a company right out of college. You're a hot, widely sought after lesbian who has constantly been on the bachelor-ette list. They tell people which clubs you go to, where you eat, where you shop.

**Marissa**

Okay now that is just scary!

**Jojo**

Ya well you're a trendsetter. You and Alex, you set the scenes. She's on that list too. So imagine everyone's surprise that two of the most notorious, high-powered lesbians hook up together. That's why you're answering so many questions about yourself.

Running a hand through her hair, Marissa cleared her throat before taking a long drink of her beer.

**Marissa**

What is it that you do?

She wondered, turning to Jojo again, feeling the need to talk about something other than herself. It was weird; being told that people knew all about her. Like she was some sort of actress or something. All she had ever done was go about her work, and try to live her life. She had a lot of friends, she liked going out and she liked her shopping. Why that put her on some hot and wanted list she had no idea. But she lived in West Hollywood; it was a weird and wonderful place.

**Jojo**

I'm a photographer.

Frowning, Marissa hesitated as her mind turned over in thought. Pointing at the other girl, she drew her head back curiously.

**Marissa**

Wait. Jojo? As in Jojo McClain?

**Jojo**

The very same.

**Marissa**

Oh my god. I _love _your work. I actually have two of your prints in my house. I can't believe Alex never said anything.

Marissa squeaked, grinning widely at meeting the person behind the work. She had always had a massive affinity toward art, especially photography. She went to view a lot of it, and she owned a lot of it too. But her particular favourites were Jojo's. Her work was so potent and moody. Looking at her photographs was almost like being there yourself, and they always invoked something inside.

**Jojo**

Thank you, and she doesn't say anything because I ask her not to. I kinda like my underdog status.

**Marissa**

Really? I heard you were maybe doing a show next month?

**Jojo**

Yeah, I am. Nothing big, just an intimate gathering. You're welcome to come.

The brunette chuckled, suddenly turning a little red at how overly enthusiastic and geeky she was coming across.

**Marissa**

Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm actually gushing! You're just so talented, by far my favourite photographer.

**Jojo**

Thank you, I'm flattered.

As Marissa opened her mouth to say something else, Alex snuck up behind her, smirking as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulling her back into her lightly.

**Alex**

What're you guys up to?

She wondered almost suspiciously, but her tone still playful. As she had come back from helping Ryan bring another beer keg into the room, she had seen Marissa and Jojo deep in conversation. Immediately, she guessed that Marissa had found out that Jojo was her favourite photographer, which made her smile. It hadn't been straight away that she noticed the prints in Marissa's house, having been so wrapped up in the brunette herself. But eventually, she had realised. She would have said something about it, but Jojo didn't like her doing so. Instead, she had been trying to set up some kind of dinner instead. But Jojo had been over in New York for the past few weeks, doing some seminars and shows, and holding a few classes or something like that. This had been the first chance she had had to introduce the both of them.

**Marissa**

Just chatting. Where'd you go?

Marissa turned around in Alex's arms, leaning in to kiss her briefly. She watched as Alex smirked playfully.

**Alex**

Why, did you miss me?

**Marissa**

I might have, just for a second or so.

Alex laughed, trying to look as though she were pouting as she nudged her girlfriend lightly.

**Alex**

Thanks baby! So, do you wanna dance with me? This is one of my favourite songs.

Alex asked enticingly, her eyes sparkling both invitingly and intimately. Marissa simply nodded, finishing her beer before placing the empty bottle down on the table. Alex waved at Jojo, who gave her a sign of encouragement, and approval, by lifting up her drink. After that, Alex lead her girlfriend away, into the middle of the room where a few people were swaying to the subtle, yet seductive tones of Portishead's Wondering Star. Briefly, Marissa noticed that one of those couples were Summer and Seth, who were dancing slowly as they made out. But then she gave her full attention to Alex as the blonde entwined their fingers, pulling her close before they started swaying to the beat.

For them, everything else but the music faded away. It was just them, the beat and the intimacy between them. Alex lifted up her hand, placing it on Marissa's cheek, gently running her thumb over smooth skin. Marissa let out a hot breath, leaning forward to rest her forehead on Alex's for a moment as they continued to move together. Even at such a close distance, with their bodies pressed together, and their hot and shallow breaths brushing over each other, their eyes refused to break the intense stare they shared. That kind of stare that people envied, because they wished they had something so strong and personal. The kind of stare that stripped you bear, and showed everything you had to offer. The kind of stare you had to be willing to reveal your rawest emotions for, and that you had to be strong enough, or submerged enough, to endure.

The song, as it came to an end, echoed in the lovers' ears, as they stopped, on some level knowing that there was no more music. They still stared at one another, lost, as they panted lightly.

**DJ**

Okay party people; it's that time again!

As the DJ loudly broke through the connection, bringing the two women back to reality, they both looked around briefly to notice that there indeed wasn't any music, and that people cheered at the DJ's words. Alex cringed and groaned, making Marissa smirked as she looked around again, confused as to what was going on. She spotted Summer and Seth, who looked at her questioningly, seemingly just as confused, but having no answers to offer her, she shrugged lightly and shook her head.

**DJ**

So, for the new faces at this party, we have a little tradition here. Our main core of hotshots like to indulge themselves in a little dance off.

There was another loud cheer, making Marissa laugh clearly highly amused, and look back at Alex who had her eyes firmly closed. The look running across her face was plainly obvious, pretty much saying 'if I can't see them, they can't see me'. It made Marissa laugh even more, and she wasn't about to let her girlfriend off the hook.

**Marissa**

Erm...Alex? What's a dance off?

She questioned, intrigued at the concept of such a thing. The buzz in the room was infectious, and she couldn't shake the wide smile. She watched as Alex opened her eyes again, looking as though she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, but smirking lightly nonetheless.

**Alex**

It's stupid really. A lot of us here are pretty good dancers, 'cos it used to keep us out of trouble growing up. Well…_less_ trouble. So erm...at these parties we erm...we have a little competition.

Marissa couldn't help but enjoy Alex stutter over her explanation, as she turned red, and also get a little excited over the prospect. Again, she had found yet another surprising layer to Alex's personality.

**Marissa**

Really? Are you gunna dance?

Alex cleared her throat quickly, suddenly finding the door to the kitchen extremely interesting. She felt her mouth and throat go dry, suddenly coming over a little shy. She wasn't ill confident at her ability to dance, she was actually the current leader on their scoreboard. And she wasn't shy to dance in front of Marissa exactly. It was rather that she was suddenly shy because she knew how absurd and slightly cheesy this whole thing could look to an outsider. Really, it was quite an intimate thing that they had going on at their parties. She didn't want Marissa to think it was weird.

**Alex**

You know what? I hafta go and erm..._tend_...to something.

She excused, clearly lying, as she began to inch away. She didn't see Ryan point at her, making the DJ see that she was trying to run away and hide.

**DJ**

Alex Kelly get your _fine_ ass back over here woman!

Alex stopped dead, feeling everybody look at her as she earned herself a few claps and cheers. Nodding in defeat, Alex turned around and walked back over to the DJ and her brother, who she elbowed in the ribs.

**DJ**

So who's brave enough to step up to face our leading champion huh?

The DJ questioned, slinging his arm around Alex's shoulders. Marissa laughed as there was quite a bit of chatter, with some of the partygoers suggesting people and shouting random things out. Seth and Summer made their way over to her, laughing at the commotion like she was.

**Summer**

Coop, you sure as hell pick interesting girls, I'll give you that.

**Marissa**

Yeah I know.

Seth started, gaining Summer's attention before he pointed at Marissa like he had just had the greatest idea known to man.

**Seth**

Hey, you should totally do the dance off thing.

Marissa looked at him so fast she almost sustained whiplash, alarmed at his suggestion.

**Marissa**

What? No!

**Seth**

But you're a good dancer.

**Summer**

Oh my god Coop, he's right. You're an awesome dancer. Well you _ought_ to be considering the amount of partying you've done since high school. And all that dancing on bars? You'll totally out dance most of these people.

Marissa looked down at Summer strangely, knowing that she could actually have taken insult but knowing that Summer was only trying to be encouraging in her odd little way. It wasn't as though her friend was wrong though. She had partied hard since she had turned 16, and had never truly stopped. She had slowed down a little, not getting quite as wasted as she used to, and usually not ending up on tabletops or bars anymore.

**Marissa**

Erm...thanks, I think?

Marissa muttered, still frowning oddly. Summer just rolled her eyes, giving Marissa a hard shove that caused her to stagger out into the small clearing that had been made for volunteers for the dance off.

**Summer**

_Marissa Cooper!_

Summer pretended to cough loudly, holding her hand up by her mouth and then patting her chest, innocently shrugging as Marissa looked back to give her a wide-eyed, homicidal glare. All the brunette could do was sigh, coming to terms with her situation as people clapped and hooted. Turning around again, she looked at Alex who was gazing over at her, smirking with an impressed and surprised look covering her face.

**DJ**

Ooooh a new girl!

Marissa just smiled, deciding that she actually did want to take part in the odd choice of festivities. She was a good dancer, she could hold her own. So she stood firm as another couple of people stepped forward to take part too. She couldn't help but think that this whole thing was ridiculous, but at the same time, really cool. Just a bunch of people blowing off some steam, unafraid to have a good time and put themselves out there. It was great. Everyone was just out to have some fun. Evidently, Alex knew a lot of laid back, fun people.

**Alex**

So you think you can beat me huh?

Marissa hadn't noticed that Alex had moved, slinking up behind her and whispering into her ear as she trailed her hand along her side and across her back. Marissa shivered involuntarily, her head clouding slightly at having Alex so close she could feel her body heat, but far away enough that it was teasing.

**Marissa**

I think I can try.

She responded, whispering also, as she gulped to try and compose herself and bring her hormones into check. Her breath hitched as Alex trailed her hand around to her stomach, and pulled back so she ended up being pressed against the blonde. Alex kissed her neck a couple of times, knowing exactly what she was doing to her, before lifting her mouth back up near her ear.

**Alex**

Show me what you've got baby.

Marissa smirked at the challenge, deciding that if Alex was going to play dirty then she would give her a taste of her own medicine.

**Marissa**

Oh I'll show you what I've got, don't worry.

Alex's eyes glistened as she stepped aside, silently turned on by the teasing rivalry between them. She focused properly, or tried to, as the DJ signalled to Ryan and Johnny that they were the first pair to go up. Alex just smirked as the guys got up into each other's faces, pretending to be all tough and trying to psych each other out. Ryan indicated to Johnny that he could go first, as Hey Boy, Hey Girl started up, by The Chemical Brothers. Everyone watched as they started taking it in turns to street dance, pulling some pretty funky moves as they did.

**Emma**

Come on Ryan baby!

Marissa laughed at Emma's encouragement, as she clapped along with everyone else in time with the beat of the music and hooted at the impressive moves that the guys were pulling. They were both skilled and very coordinated, but had a vibe of naturalness about them that told everyone that they were thinking fast and improvising their moves. As the song got closer to the end, Ryan really pulled the stops out, and did a little break dancing, which got him a lot of impressed applause and cheers. Then, as the song did end, the two friends shook hands and hugged warmly, panting from a little bit from the work out.

The DJ shouted out Johnny's name to get cheers if people wanted him to win, and he got quite a few of them. But when he called out Ryan's name, he got a lot more. Marissa cheered for him, as she noticed that Alex and Emma had too. She just smiled comfortably as the cheers died down, when Alex ended up hugging her from behind again, leaning her chin on the intrigued brunette's shoulder. Marissa leaned back into her lightly, their rivalry forgotten for the time being, and just now enjoying the entertainment in front of them.

They both swayed lightly as the next pair were called up. The song was a remix of N.E.R.D's Rockstar. This time it was a girl that Marissa recognised but couldn't remember the name of, and another guy that she hadn't talked to tonight. They were both excellent too, and she was blown away by the level of skill that everyone seemed to have here.

Marissa felt a shot of excitement shoot through her as the DJ pointed toward Alex, and gestured her over. There were some cheers as Alex chuckled and let go of Marissa, who turned to give her an encouraging kiss before she walked over toward her opponent. Marissa noticed that it was the same tall guy that had danced with her earlier. The brunette CEO felt another surge of excitement run through her as the DJ started the song that Alex and the tall guy had to dance off to, which was Get Me Off by Basement Jaxx. The guy motioned for Alex to go first, but she shook her head and gestured him to go instead. He shrugged simply, and then started doing this thing.

Everyone clapped in time, and Alex watched him move as she popped her head to the music, getting a feel for it. Actually, she was quite happy that she had pulled this particular song, it was one of her favourites to dance to. When it was her turn, she stepped forward and dropped into her dance, letting the beat of the music move through her, and her instincts decide how her body moved. Like she always had, she felt a connection with the music, and let it control her. There was nothing else on her mind, nothing other than the beat and the connection. It was as the song went along that she really started pulling out her moves, saving a lot of her best ones more toward the end like Ryan had, not giving too much away and getting ahead of herself.

Eventually, the song came to an end and everyone cheered and whistled encouragingly. The taller guy smirked cheekily as he bowed before his friend, making Alex laugh before she smacked him and told him to stand up properly.

**DJ**

Do I even need to ask?

Everyone cheered again, as the tall guy did too, and the DJ gave Alex a friendly pat on the back, indicating her to be the winner. Alex smiled, moving aside so that she was out of the way for the next dancers.

**DJ**

Okay, last couple to select our fourth winner. New girl...come here!

**Alex**

It's Marissa.

The blonde called out, as Marissa blushed a little at being beckoned into the limelight. She moved forward, taking the DJ's outstretched hand.

**DJ**

Okay Marissa, come here. Damn you're fine girl!

He cooed, making her turn around in a circle so he could check her out properly. Marissa blushed again, before noticing that Jojo was walking over to her and realised that was who she was facing.

**DJ**

You girls good to go?

They both nodded silently, and the DJ moved to start another track. Alex just stood back, folding her arms, watching Marissa in amusement, glad that she had chosen to take part in their fun. She watched her girlfriend intently as the music started, finding it a little ironic that it was I Like The Way You Move by Bodyrockers. A song that she and Marissa had been working each other up with just a couple of nights ago. Now, Marissa had to use her talent at doing that on Jojo, and beat her if she wanted to come up against her. And Jojo was pretty good. Although Alex was rooting for her girlfriend, she honestly wasn't sure who would end up winning. But Marissa had taken her lead, letting Jojo go first, obviously wanting to judge her competition and adjust accordingly.

As the song got going, there was a lot of sexy manoeuvres being pulled, as well as very skilled street dance moves. Marissa forgot about how many people were watching her, deciding to really go for it and put her style and years of partying to the test. Jojo was a good dancer, but Marissa decided that she wasn't about to let anything stop her from competing against Alex, so she let herself go. By the end of the song, both girls were panting, and as they stepped back they smiled at one another graciously, looking around as the applause they were getting.

Marissa didn't miss the undeniable rawness Alex was looking at her with, as though it was taking everything inside of her not to drag her away and fuck her senseless.

**DJ**

Okay...erm...wow! So Jojo anybody?

The DJ stuttered, obviously flushed after watching Marissa and Jojo.

**DJ**

Hot new girl?

Getting the majority of the hoots, Marissa looked a little surprised as Jojo patted her on the back congratulatory. After thanking her, Marissa went over to Alex, who reached out and pulled her in for a heavy kiss. It wasn't a long kiss since Alex was called out onto the floor again. This time to face the Hispanic guy that had won earlier.

This time she brought out her faster moves, partly break dance, earning her the spot as a finalist. Then Marissa found herself facing Ryan. After a whirlwind song, to which she had really let loose for, Marissa was surprised again to find that the majority of people had voted for her. Whether they were doing it because she was new, or she was better, or they just wanted to see her go up against Alex, she wasn't sure. Ryan gave her a huge hug anyway, seemingly happy that she had beaten him.

**DJ**

Well well well...Alex has new competition people!

**Shelly**

Her girlfriend no less!

Shelly shouted out, for those living under a rock and not knowing that the two were involved. The declaration sent a ripple of oohs through the crowd, followed by laughter. The DJ took hold of both of them, standing them before one another to square them up.

**Alex**

I'm impressed Princess, where'd you learn to dance like that?

Alex wondered, playfully challengingly as she folded her arms again. She was impressed at Marissa's ability, and surprised that she could actually street dance. Also, that she could hold her own against her friends and her brother too. Newport didn't seem the type of place to learn that.

**Marissa**

Oh, you know...around.

Marissa responded nonchalantly, shrugging at the same time as she let her gaze drift away from Alex, as though she didn't care or worry about the upcoming dance. It only made Alex smirk, and lift her head up.

**Alex**

Don't you dare hold back on me.

**Marissa**

I wasn't about to. Someone needs to take you down.

**Alex**

Oooh you're taking me down, are you? _Down_, down?

There was a look of pure evil floating across both her eyes and face as she quirked an inquisitive eyebrow, playing on Marissa's words to make her flush. She saw her love gulp a little, and smirked lightly as she leant forward to kiss her slowly, gaining another round of hoots that they ignored.

**DJ**

Okay okay; let's get this show on the road. Ladies...here's your song.

They pulled apart again as Babydoll by N.E.R.D began to sound out, eliciting a loud cheer which made Alex snicker. She gestured Marissa to go first, eyes sparkling as her girlfriend accepted. Slowly, she kissed Alex again, before starting a torturous dance in front of her. She used Alex to move around, sliding up, down and around her as she followed the beat of the movement, taking pleasure in knowing that she was driving the blonde crazy.

**Summer**

Shake that ass Cooper!

Everyone clapped to the beat of the song, watching as Marissa did her thing, noticing how it was affecting Alex. Eventually, Marissa pushed herself back from Alex, innocently offering her the floor. Without missing a beat, Alex stepped in and moved in time with the music. She decided that two could play at Marissa's game, and after doing her own thing on the floor, she began to use Marissa as her centre pole to dance around. Though, being used to this, Alex was somewhat more daring than Marissa had been.

They continued to take it in turns, moving to drive one another crazy, as well as doing some unique, skilled moves. Alex did some of her trademark stunt moves, as Marissa brought out her hidden talents too. Toward the end of the song, Alex gestured Marissa to dance with her, to which she readily accepted. They got up into each other, but didn't let themselves touch each other. They were mere centimetres away from one another, breathing on one another, and looking one another in the eye as they moved together to the beat. As the song came to an end, they immediately received some howls and cat whistles. Realising what she had just done, Marissa blushed, having forgotten all about their audience in her quest to beat and drive Alex insane. The blonde just chuckled, letting Marissa bury her head in her shoulder.

**DJ**

I need a cold shower! So how about Alex everyone?

Alex pointed at her still hiding girlfriend, cheering silently and raising her hands up a little. People seemed to get the impression, and remained mostly silent.

**DJ**

And Marissa?

There was a huge, almost deafening cheer, making the brunette look up in complete shock. Alex just laughed, looking at her adoringly, before leaning in and hugging her tightly.

**Alex**

Maybe you're the one that should be dancing for me tonight?

The blonde whispered, giving Marissa a squeeze before letting her go, but keeping hold of her hand.

**DJ**

We have a new champion! Take a picture; someone pushed Alex off the top. _Finally_!

The DJ gave Marissa a friendly shove, making her laugh, before stepping back to start playing some more songs to get the party started again. Before anyone had a chance to come between them, or distract them, Alex grabbed Marissa up, deciding that she wanted to dance with her some more. They remained like that, cocooned up together on the dance floor, laughing and talking intimately some times. Others they just remained silent, or ended up in languid make out sessions. As the time went on, they eventually decide they need to get a drink and sit down.

As it began to get later and later, some of the partygoers started to leave steadily. Alex and Ryan said goodbye to them all from the couch they were sprawled on with their respective girlfriends, along with Summer and Seth. They were left eventually with a main set of people that the twins had grown up with, who all sat around drinking and talking with one another as they chilled out.

Alex was happy and comfortable to be sitting at one end of the couch, with Marissa sat over her, an arm around her shoulder. Both of them joined in with the random conversations the group was having. It was Summer and Seth that were amongst the last handful that left around the same time, all of them pouring themselves into taxies and cars. It was after everyone had left, that Alex lead Marissa up the stairs and into her room.

**Marissa**

I am so tired right now.

**Alex**

You better not be.

Marissa looked at her girlfriend, a little confused at her remark as the blonde shut the bedroom door. Gently, she guided Marissa backward until she pushed her lightly into one of the chairs.

**Marissa**

What're you doing?

Marissa asked, a little confused, a little knowing, and not being able to keep the thrill of anticipation out of her voice. Alex just smirked, picking up the remote to her CD player.

**Alex**

I seem to remember you making a request for me to dance for you.

Remembering what she had said at the start of the party, Marissa perked up, suddenly not feeling so tired anymore.

**Marissa**

That's right, I did.

Alex pressed the play button on the remote before putting it down, not taking her eyes off of Marissa as she smirked as the song she had chosen started to play. Alex knew Marissa didn't recognise the Tricky song, You Don't Wanna, but you didn't need to know it to appreciate its delectably sexy and raw beat and tones.

**Alex**

Well, request granted.

Alex leant down and kissed her girlfriend fleetingly, stepping back before she did indeed do as requested and danced for Marissa.


	13. The Reputation

**Chapter Fourteen - The Reputation**

**Morning **

**Kelly residence**

As the morning light crept into the room, warming it up, the two lovers began to stir slowly. The sun filtered through the gaps in the light curtains, missing their faces but hitting the bed, making both of them feel cosy and content. Alex took a deep breath in, moving her head down a little to plant a kiss on Marissa's forehead, knowing that she was waking up too, and then exhaled again. She snuggled further into Marissa, which was something of an accomplishment considering that they were already impossibly entangled around one another.

**Marissa**

Morning...

Marissa sighed, adjusting her arm that was wrapped around Alex so she had a firmer grip on her. With her head on Alex's chest like this, she could hear her heartbeat below her, rhythmic and strong. It gave her a strange peace of mind, just listening to that drum.

**Alex**

Morning. How'd you sleep?

**Marissa**

After that workout you gave me? Like a baby!

Alex chuckled, thinking back to the rather energetic activities of last night.

**Alex**

You're not the only one to get the workout you know. I seem to remember a certain someone turning the tables.

Marissa laughed lightly, shrugging as best she could.

**Marissa**

What can I say? I like to get involved.

**Alex**

_Involved_? You are such a dom!

**Marissa**

I am not.

Protested petulantly, poking Alex in the shoulder all the while knowing it was so true.

**Alex**

Oh yes, yes you are.

**Marissa**

Well it's not like you're Miss Sub!

**Alex**

Hey, I didn't say I didn't like it. It turns me on when you get all assertive and rough.

Marissa moved her head to look at Alex, frowning in concern with a look rooting deeply throughout her eyes that made Alex's stomach clench.

**Marissa**

I'm rough?

Marissa echoed solemnly, her eyes glazing over as they became distant and cold. The reaction was so quick that Alex was actually scared for a moment, knowing that what she had said must have upset her. She put her hand on Marissa's face to stop her from pulling away from her.

**Alex**

Not in a bad way.

Marissa didn't respond, but only looked down, staring into nothingness. Alex watched as the thoughts ran through her girlfriend's eyes, bringing up a clear pain that she had never meant to make her access.

**Alex**

Hey. I didn't mean to upset you.

**Marissa**

No, I know.

**Alex**

What's wrong?

Marissa looked at Alex wearily, and then cleared her throat as Marissa moved off of her so that they were lying face to face. Marissa took in a shaky breath, playing with Alex's fingers gently as she stared at them for a moment thoughtfully. Alex just let her think, moving to stroke some rogue brown hairs out the way of Marissa's face.

**Marissa**

My erm...one of the reasons that my last girlfriend left me was because she said I was ''unrecognisable'' in bed.

The brunette finally responded, not being able to quite look Alex in the eyes as she explained what had upset her. She thought back to the moment Jesse had told her that, and felt her heart break all over again. Not over that, she couldn't care less about how she had felt for Jesse now that she was so involved with Alex. It was the hurt of having someone say that to you, someone that was supposed to love you. Jesse had always known how to hurt her, and she had done a pretty fine job at it. She had played on the darkness Marissa held inside of her, and all the passion and raw intensity she had inside of her, and turned it into a dagger.

**Alex**

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Alex demanded, becoming angry for her girlfriend instantly, making Marissa look up at her again.

**Marissa**

She said it was like I turned into a completely different person. One that's darker than normal. She said she couldn't handle it, couldn't handle me trying to devour her. I _scared_ her.

**Alex**

Marissa look at me.

Marissa had looked away from the blonde again, but Alex put her fingers under her chin, making her look back up.

**Alex**

You don't scare me.

Alex stated calmly, pausing as she gave Marissa a sincere look, still not letting her look away again. She didn't know what this other girls deal was, but it had clearly gutted Marissa in a severe way. And the last thing she wanted the brunette to think was that she scared her too, because she didn't.

**Alex**

I _know_ who you are, and where you are. You don't hurt me. Personally, I like it when you try and devour me. I like that darkness. Because it's intense, it's raw and it's you. And because I also know that you're you. Obviously, she wasn't any kind of match for you. I am. You know I am because I'm the same as you.

**Marissa**

I know that. And I like it too.

Leaning forward, Alex kissed Marissa softly, reassuringly to back up what she had just said. Being with Marissa was nothing short of euphoric. She was the most powerful lover she had ever had, and she knew that it was something they had in common. She supposed that they did actually border on depraved, but there was a good kind of depraved, and its what happened between them. They didn't hurt each other; they just wanted to consume each other.

**Alex**

Is this girl the same one you mentioned before?

**Marissa**

Jesse? Yeah, she played me before she decided that she wasn't gay. Gave me the come here go away mind games; got me to run around after her...she made me fall for her. _Hard_. Then she ripped my heart out.

Alex gazed across at her lover, their hands entwined now in the space between them on the bed.

**Alex**

I erm...I have my faults Marissa. _Big_ ones. And I'm sure I'll hurt you. But you have to know that I don't mean to. I've never been very good at letting people in. Always kept them at arms length, even my best friends like Jojo. Sometimes even Ryan. If I try to push you away, and I probably will, don't believe it's how I really feel, okay?

Marissa looked back at her seriously, and nodded in understanding.

**Marissa**

Okay.

They remained there for a moment in silence, Marissa understanding what Alex was telling her, not needing to know anymore. She understood what it was like to try and protect yourself by pushing people away. Even the people that were supposed to be the closest to you. She had done it to Summer plenty of times. Especially when she was hurt and wasted. She had shouted abuse at her best friend, and her brother, a stupid amount of times before. They had ignored her, and taken care of her anyway, knowing that what she said was nothing close to what she felt for them. But her thoughts started to drift to Alex, and she cleared her throat as she looked at her, thinking about something she had been wondering about since last night.

**Marissa**

What did Shelly mean?

Alex frowned lightly in confusion.

**Alex**

What?

**Marissa**

Last night, in the kitchen. She said something about leaving you alone with a girl. And they seemed really surprised that you said I was your girlfriend. _Everyone _was surprised that I'm your girlfriend.

Alex looked at her weightily, obviously trying to decide what her best option was. Did she tell her the truth? Would it pollute what they had? Would Marissa care? Alex let the thoughts of instant panic take over her for a moment, but then pushed them out as she cleared her throat. She opened her mouth to say something, and then stopped, thinking better of it. She looked down as she frowned, wondering exactly how she said what she had to say, knowing she had to and that she had to trust Marissa. After another moment of thought, she looked up again.

**Alex**

The comment you made, in my office a little while ago? It's true; I have had a lot of girls in there. In general. I sort of...well I have a reputation for it.

**Marissa**

A reputation huh?

**Alex**

Apparently.

**Marissa**

So I mean...you've never done this before?

**Alex**

Once. And it was...it was hell. She fucked me over, and I never got over it. Therefore adding to my inability to commit into a relationship.

Marissa moved her hand to brush a strand of Alex's hair out of her eyes, taking in the bitterness that had crept into the blonde's voice as she mentioned her other girlfriend. She had alluded to her in the past, but this was the most frank she had been about it.

**Marissa**

Until now.

**Alex**

Until now.

She agreed softly, taking Marissa's hand again and squeezing it softly. The brunette wasn't freaking out, which was a good sign. Alex wasn't overly proud that she had the reputation as a notorious womaniser, but she was at the same time. She liked it because it had protected her from having to make an effort with women; it stopped them trying to connect to her. It gave her freedom to come and go as she pleased, let her have a slue of women without any strings attached. But it had also given her a screen to hide behind, stopping anyone from realising that she did was something more than one night stands and fucks in her office or wherever they happened to be. She didn't entirely love the fact that they all thought she was an ice queen either, as though she didn't feel anything other than instant gratification. However, the reputation had given her an edge. It made people fascinated by her, and the way she ran her club. The truth of the matter was, she didn't want to be a villain. She refused to apologise for liking sex, being good at it, and being able to attract women to her. But it wasn't everything that she was.

**Marissa**

So why me?

**Alex**

God, I dunno. You're just..._you_.

Alex struggled, not really being able to explain why Marissa had changed everything since they had met on the running path. Alex didn't believe in love at first sight, but she did believe in connecting with people. And she had, right away with Marissa. That connection had lead to love, despite the fact it took most people longer to fall in love.

Marissa remained quiet, visibly reflecting on the heavy dialogue that had come between them.

**Alex**

Is this gunna be a problem for you? I mean...

**Marissa**

I don't care. I don't really give a damn about how many girls you've slept with, how big your reputation is or anything.

Marissa cut her off quickly, not wanting her to twist over the subject. She had already gathered that Alex was somewhat of a player. She had heard things around, and gotten the impression both off Alex herself over the course of their dating, and definitely last night from the amount of curious people she had talked to. She didn't expect Alex to be a saint. People had pasts. She didn't judge Alex for it, because it wasn't like she had been a saint either.

**Alex**

Really?

**Marissa**

It's not like you've done anything wrong. You thought I would care?

**Alex**

Well...I dunno. I guess I didn't know what you'd think.

**Marissa**

I want to be with you. So I'm taking the whole package. The reputation, the faults, the heart, the loyalty, the strength, the everything that comes with you.

**Alex**

No one has ever accepted me like that before.

**Marissa**

Until now.

**Two weeks later **

**Thursday **

**CCR Publishing**

The past two weeks had been somewhat of a whirlwind for Marissa. Busy was not the word for the schedule she had kept. Her working days had been filled with lunch meetings, stacks of paperwork, printing emergencies, press conferences, board meetings, finance meetings, staff meetings…you name it, she had to have been there for it and taken care of it. There had been two book launches that she had attended the parties for, accompanied by Alex, of course. Which had caught the attention of quite a few people. Especially in the lesbian scene. Two of the most high-powered lesbians hooking up in this town didn't tend to go unnoticed for very long.

Marissa had caught up with her circle of friends, who had all but interrogated her about the relationship, and demanded that they be introduced to the notorious Alex Kelly. So she had obliged, going along to a couple of dinners, an art show and a blues night where one of her friends was performing so that she could show her girlfriend off. Summer and Seth had been out with them too, and had gone to The Purple Heart to see what it was like. They weren't disappointed, more like in awe of it. And they had had dinner together too, with Ryan and Emma, where Alex had suitably impressed them again with her cooking. They had also all gotten together with Holly and Mia. And every single night within the two weeks, she and the blonde had spent with each other. Be it her staying at Alex's house, or the other way around. They had only been apart for work.

Now, Marissa sat at her desk, typing on her laptop as she sorted through some work she needed to finish by the time she left today. She was a fast worker, and barring no disasters or emergencies, she would get it done easily. Marissa thought that she had surprised everyone, even herself, when it came to how intelligent and capable she actually was. Her multi-tasking capabilities were second to none too. She had just slacked off a lot of the time in school, until the last couple of years when she had realised she really needed to dig herself out of Newport, and the only way to do that was to pull her act together and get into college. So that's what she had done.

**Marissa**

Hey Leslie.

Marissa greeted her assistant as she picked up her desk phone as the intercom rang through the silence of the room.

**Leslie**

Sorry for interrupting Marissa, but your Mother is on line one. Shall I put her through?

**Marissa**

Yes please, thank you.

She smiled, sitting back in her chair as she waited for Leslie to transfer the call. She reached out and pressed the line one button on the phone to accept the call.

**Marissa**

Hi Mom!

**Kirsten**

Hi honey. I didn't call at a bad time or anything did I?

**Marissa**

No not at all. Actually, you saved me from dying of boredom.

Kirsten laughed at Marissa's playful joke, knowing that she fooled nobody about her disdain for work. The truth was, Marissa loved running the chunk of the company, it was her forte and she loved being rushed off her feet.

**Kirsten**

Glad I could help. I was wondering if you're free tomorrow evening?

**Marissa**

Well I don't have anything special planned. Why?

**Kirsten**

We were hoping we could all do dinner. Your Dad's talking to Seth right now. We'll be in town tomorrow and it'd be nice to have a family dinner.

**Marissa**

That'd be great. But there's something else, isn't there?

**Kirsten**

Well…there might be a little something we need to talk to you about, yeah. But don't worry, it's nothing bad. Just something we'd like to talk to you about in person.

**Marissa**

Okay.

**Kirsten**

Great, Sandy and Seth are making arrangements. _So_ I wanted to ask you how things are going.

**Marissa**

With what?

The brunette asked innocently, actually unaware of what her Mother was angling at.

**Kirsten**

I don't know, everything. You're doing okay?

**Marissa**

Yeah, I'm doing great actually.

**Kirsten**

So this thing with Alex has really taken off then?

**Marissa**

It really, really has. I am so glad you all pushed me into making some changes. Otherwise I might not have taken the risk.

**Kirsten**

You're welcome honey. I'm glad it's working out.

**Marissa**

Me too. So not every woman in the world is like Jesse.

She concluded happily, knowing that she owed her family a lot for managing to convince her of that. They had all seen what Jesse had done to her; they had all helped her through it. This time, she didn't even think about anything like that happening with Alex. She wasn't preparing for the worst, or assuming a crash position. She was just enjoying being with her, and letting herself feel.

**Kirsten**

Thankfully not. Listen, I have to go but I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

**Marissa**

Me either. I love you.

**Kirsten**

I love you too sweetie, bye.

Marissa was still smiling as she put the phone down, knowing that her Mom was probably just as busy as she was. Kirsten Cohen was extremely good at her job, and was often in high demand and put on high priority and very challenging developments at the company she worked for as a property developer. After leaving her Father's company, she had been snapped up instantly, inundated with offers as it became common knowledge that she was available.

Sighing as she rolled her neck around a couple of times, Marissa scooted her chair a little closer to her desk, and went back to working on her laptop. As her thoughts began to focus solely on the work in front of her, she started as her cell phone began to ring. Breaking away once again, she picked it up and smiled as she saw Alex on the caller ID. She definitely didn't mind being interrupted again.

**Marissa**

Hey you.

**Alex**

Hey baby, working hard?

**Marissa**

Always.

**Alex**

That's my girl. So there's this movie double on at the revival theatre tonight. You wanna check it out?

**Marissa**

I dunno, what's on?

**Alex**

Citizen Kane and Catch-22.

**Marissa**

Yeah, I'd love to go. You aren't too tired? You've been working so hard.

Just as she had had a busy couple of weeks, Alex had been inundated with work too. She had been picking up the slack after a couple of staff had left on short notice due to personal situations, as well as doing everything she normally did, and organising some live acts and another couple of parties. She had also been hosting a couple of fun nights, which Marissa had attended with Summer and Seth. Kings Of The Night was one of them, a talent night and a comedy night. Alex had been working through a lot of the day, leaving to do things with her, and then going back after their dates and nights out. She had only had three nights completely free of work out of the whole two weeks.

**Alex**

No I'll be okay. Do you want to meet me at my place after work?

**Marissa**

Sounds like a plan. I'll go home and get showered and changed first though. So how about 6?

**Alex**

Sure, that's great. I'll see you later then.

**Marissa**

Okay, bye.

Marissa flicked her phone shut again, and placed it onto the desk carefully. She was relieved that things were slowing down for her girlfriend now. She had employed new staff, and now that the details for the parties were sorted out, and the bands she wanted were booked, the blonde had began to get a little more free time. That, or her assistants were physically kicking her out of the building.

The brunette sighed slowly; reading over what she had written last, then began to start typing again. Only a couple of minutes later, she was interrupted again by the intercom. She picked it up quickly.

**Leslie**

Incoming, Seth, three seconds!

Seth practically burst through the doors, walking quickly into her office.

**Marissa**

Thanks Leslie.

Marissa rolled her eyes, pushing herself away from her desk as she began think trying to finish her work was a hopeless task.

**Seth**

I am officially worried.

Seth flailed dramatically, pacing back and forth in front of her desk.

**Marissa**

What about?

**Seth**

This cloak and dagger routine the Rents are pulling.

**Marissa**

Seth, I hardly think its cloak and dagger.

Seth stopped pacing to face his sister, looking at her as though she was stupid.

**Seth**

Something to ''talk about in person''. Sounds it to me. Sandy Cohen was all vague and evasive on the phone, and Sandy Cohen is not a vague and evasive man.

**Marissa**

Stop saying Sandy Cohen. Look Seth, it's not a big deal, it's just dinner. Mom said it was nothing to worry about.

**Seth**

She didn't give you a clue in woman code did she?

Seth asked her wearily, wondering for a moment if she was part of the conspiracy or if their Mother had departed any clues to her during their phone call. But all he received from Marissa was a look that told him he needed to be certified.

**Marissa**

Woman code?

**Seth**

Yeah you know, that way of communicating you women have that us manly men have no idea how to understand.

He explained simply, as though everyone should know what he was prattling on about. It made Marissa smile affectionately.

**Marissa**

I really love you.

Seth pointed at her instantly, giving her a funny and confused look.

**Seth**

Like that. What's it mean?

Marissa laughed as she lifted herself up from her seat, and walked over to her coffee maker. She wiggled a cup toward him but he shook his head and flicked his hand.

**Marissa**

It means I love you Seth, despite how weird you are. What time do I need to be there tomorrow?

Crossing the room back to her desk again, now with her mug of coffee, she sat back down and picked up her PDA.

**Seth**

6pm. Summer's booking a restaurant.

**Marissa**

Great. So, can I _please_ get on with my work now? I would _really_ like to get to the date I have with Alex tonight.

**Seth**

Plans with Alex huh?

**Marissa**

Yeah, we're going to the revival theatre to see the Orson Wells double feature.

**Seth**

Really? Summer and I were talking about going to that. Mind if we tag along?

**Marissa**

Not at all. We could meet you at the theatre.

**Seth**

Excellent. I'll let you get back to your work then.

Marissa smiled, giving Seth a small wave as he left her to her work.

**6:15pm**

**Alex Kelly residence**

Walking up to Alex's front door, Marissa tapped on it eagerly. She waited for a moment, frowning as there was no response. She looked at her watch, knowing she had arrived roughly at the right time. Figuring maybe Alex didn't hear her, she knocked again and waited. Looking around, she noticed her girlfriend's jeep parked outside the house, so she knew she had to be in there. After a moment or two, she reached out and tried the door handle. Finding that the door was open, she stepped inside cautiously.

**Marissa**

Alex? Hello? Anyone home?

Shutting the door behind her, Marissa moved down the hall, making her way to the living room, where she could hear the TV. Stepping inside, she couldn't help but smile, finding Alex curled up on the couch, fast asleep. The blonde must have gotten ready for their date, and sat down to watch TV as she waited for her to arrive, but fallen asleep as she had. She looked remarkably cute, and Marissa put her bag and keys on the coffee table quietly, then moved over to the couch to grab the blanket off of the top. She unfolded it quickly, then covered the blonde with it, wanting her to be comfortable as she slept. Kneeling down, Marissa gently moved a strand of hair out of Alex's face, then leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead. She decided they could forgo the theatre double tonight, knowing that Alex getting some sleep was far more important.

Getting back up again, Marissa went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk, before going back to the living room where she settled down into a chair. Keeping the TV on low, but loud enough to hear, she flicked through the channels aimlessly, trying to find something interesting to watch. Every now and again she looked over at her girlfriend, making sure she was okay, before paying attention to the crap on TV. As it got later, Marissa stepped into the kitchen and ordered a pizza. Then, as it turned 8pm, her phone began to ring, making her leap over and pick it up quickly.

**Marissa**

Hello?

She whispered, glancing at Alex as she stirred. For a moment, Marissa thought Alex was going to wake up. Instead, the blonde just rubbed her nose and muttered something inaudible, drifting back into a heavy sleep.

**Summer**

Coop? Why are you whispering? And why aren't you here

**Marissa**

Oh my god, I'm really sorry, I should have called. Alex is asleep.

**Summer**

So wake her up.

**Marissa**

No, I can't. I don't have the heart to. She's been doing some really long hours the past two weeks.

She reminded Summer as there was a knock at the door. Looking out of the window, she saw that the pizza guy was here, and grabbed some money out of her purse.

**Marissa**

Sum I hafta go, the pizza's here. I'm really sorry.

**Summer**

No it's cool, you look after your woman. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you.

**Marissa**

Love you too, bye.

Marissa flicked her phone shut as she walked out to the front door and paid for the pizza. After an hour and a half later, after Marissa had eaten a couple of slices out of the pizza, she looked toward Alex as the blonde started awake.

**Marissa**

Hey.

Groggily, Alex looked across at her. She patted herself as though she were panicking or checking who she was, making Marissa raise an eyebrow.

**Alex**

Oh my god, what time is it?

**Marissa**

Just gone 9:30.

**Alex**

Shit, why didn't you wake me up?

Alex demanded, looking like an irritable little kitten. Marissa just smirked at her.

**Marissa**

Because you looked so cute and peaceful.

She stated calmly, watching the irritated look fade away gradually.

**Alex**

But we missed the movie.

**Marissa**

So we'll go another time. You needed some rest.

Alex smiled sweetly, casting a grateful look toward her girlfriend. She knew Marissa had been concerned with the last of sleep she had been getting, these past couple of weeks, which she thought was endearing. She liked having her fuss over her sometimes; it was nice to be cared about.

**Alex**

Thanks. So what've you been up to?

**Marissa**

Just catching up on some shows. There's a film coming on now, My Summer Of Love.

Noticing that there was a blanket over her, which the brunette must have placed on her, Alex lifted it up.

**Alex**

Come over here.

Marissa moved out of her chair compliantly, and got onto the couch, lying down in front of Alex and settling back into her. The blonde wrapped her arm around her, therefore bringing the blanket over her too, so they were covered up together. Leaning her head back slightly, Marissa kissed Alex lightly, before turning around again to watch the film.

**Marissa**

I got us some pizza if you're hungry.

**Alex**

No, I just wanna lie here with you and watch the movie.

**Friday Next Day**

**Summer and Seth's house**

Marissa was excited. She hadn't seen her parents since she had drove to their house, during the awful week when she had thought the worst of Alex for not calling her back. They had spoken on the phone a lot, as they usually did. But things with Alex, and things had work had kept her too busy to go back for another visit. So she was glad that they were going out to dinner tonight, giving her the chance to see and catch up with them again.

She walked into Seth and Summer's house, after having noticed that her parent's car was in the driveway, indicating that she was the last to arrive. Walking inside, she smiled as she heard happy chatter coming from somewhere.

**Marissa**

Hey everyone.

Before anyone had a chance to react, Mia came careering from the front living room, zooming down the hall at an unbelievably fast pace.

**Mia**

'Issa!

The infant bolted directly for Marissa, who had barely had chance to dump her bag on the floor before catching the smudge of a child heading her way, lifting her up and hugging her tightly.

**Marissa**

Urgh you're getting big little missy! What're you still doing awake dirty stop up?

Marissa tickled her niece lightly, who giggled loudly as she squirmed in her arms. The raven haired little girl was already in her pyjamas, and smelt like bath soap and baby powder.

**Mia**

M'not a dirty stop up!

**Marissa**

Are too!

**Mia**

Am not…Mommy said I is loud.

**Marissa**

'Cos Grandma and Grandpa are here?

**Mia**

Yup.

**Marissa**

Okay I'll let you off then.

She ticked Mia again, before carrying her through to the front living room. Mia just sat in her arms contentedly, picking up Marissa's silver necklace and fiddling with it as she became fascinated by how shiny it was.

**Sandy**

Hey, here she is.

Marissa grinned, walking over and leaning down to give Sandy and Kirsten a welcoming kiss. Sandy looked up at his daughter, tipping his head and sighing as she stood up again properly. She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, catching the whimsical look in his eyes.

**Mar**issa 

What?

**Sandy**

That looks so natural.

Marissa looked at him oddly, then realised he was talking about her having Mia in her arms. She widened her eyes at him, making Summer laugh at her.

**Marissa**

Not happening! So not happening! Stop imagining more Grandchildren.

She squeaked defensively, holding a hand out to indicate a grinding halt.

**Summer**

Your time is coming Coop.

**Marissa**

Don't even. Grandchildren is _sooo_ yours and Seth's job.

**Kirsten**

So what's your job?

Kirsten wondered neutrally, clearly amused by how much Marissa was panicking.

**Marissa**

Well I pester the nurses that look after you when you're old and frail.

The brunette responded automatically, almost as though everyone should have known that. Kirsten just laughed at her daughter.

**Kirsten**

Thanks sweetie, that's so lovely.

Marissa grinned mischievously.

**Marissa**

I thought so.

She looked at Mia lovingly as she rested her head on her shoulder, yawning widely as she fell asleep. It was a stark contrast to the little whippet that had ran at her moments ago. Now she was happily using her as a human pillow.

**Sandy**

But honestly, it's a sight we'd love to see some day.

**Marissa**

Ah ha, remember the part where I'm _gay_?

**Summer**

Sperm banks Coop, look 'em up. This is L.A, there must be like, 30 million of them. Ask some of your lesbians where they got their babies from.

Kirsten raised an interested eyebrow.

**Kirsten**

You have lesbians?

**Marissa**

A whole fleet of 'em!

When they were ready to go, Marissa put Mia into bed for the nanny, Helena, and went back to join the others. They headed out to the restaurant, all cramming into Seth's SUV. When they got there, they were lead to their table, and immediately ordered a bottle of wine. As a silence loomed over them, Seth began to fidget, until he finally gave up and sighed loudly.

**Seth**

Okay, the suspense is killing me. What gives?

**Kirsten**

How would you feel if your Dad and I moved?

Kirsten posed, making Marissa and Summer frown slightly at the question, whilst Seth shook his head lightly.

**Seth**

You're moving? Isn't it a little early to head to Florida?

**Sandy**

Not to Florida, we're not retiring, but thanks for springing to that conclusion son.

Sandy corrected, always been able to count on Seth to make him feel old.

**Marissa**

So where to?

**Sandy**

Here.

They all blinked at him, slightly in shock at what they were being confronted with. Summer was the first to move, still frowning in confusion, as she pointed at the table.

**Summer**

Here? As in L.A?

**Kirsten**

Yeah. They want me to move to the L.A office at work. To run it.

**Marissa**

Oh my god are you serious?

Marissa demanded excitedly, both pleased for her Mom and at the prospect of having her parents live closer to them.

**Kirsten**

Very serious. They like how I've been running things in Newport but they think I need more challenge. I have to give them an answer tomorrow.

**Seth**

Is it what you want?

**Kirsten**

Yes, it is.

**Seth**

So what're you asking us for? Go for it Mom.

Seth encouraged, flailing his hand a little, wondering why they were basically asking for their permission.

**Kirsten**

Well we didn't want to just invade, you moved out here to get away from Orange County.

**Marissa**

We moved out here to get away from Newport, not you. Why do you think we stayed so close?

**Sandy**

So it's settled?

**Seth**

Yeah! This is awesome, the Cohen's back together.

Seth grinned happily, smiling at his parents as he nudged both Summer and Marissa lightly.

**Sandy**

Just like old times.

They all lifted their glasses up, clinking them lightly before taking a sip.

**Summer**

So what're you gunna do Sandy?

**Sandy**

The PD's office could use a good lawyer.

Kirsten patted her husband on the shoulder, looking at him proudly. She loved how Sandy had never faltered from his ideals. He had had some bad times of course, when he felt they had let him down. But Sandy Cohen wasn't a man you could keep down for very long. She loved him for that.

**Kirsten**

That's my man.

The family chattered and laughed happily through their meal, talking about what Kirsten's new job would entail, to where they would be looking to move, and then into different random conversations. After they had eaten, everyone ordered a coffee to relax to.

**Sandy**

So Summer, tell me, is this Alex girl good enough for Marissa?

**Marissa**

Dad!

Marissa squeaked indignantly, scowling at him but just making him smirk at her since she looked so cute. Summer ignored her friend's protest, and nodded anyway.

**Summer**

She's definitely good enough.

Kirsten drew her head back, immediately impressed with Summer's response.

**Kirsten**

The Summer Roberts stamp of approval. She must be something.

**Marissa**

She is.

Marissa agreed quietly, coming to the obvious realisation that she was very much in love with the blonde. Looking back, she guessed she should have seen that one coming. She had, in a way. But right at this very second was when she actually said it to herself. And it felt good.

**Sandy**

Is she pretty?

**Seth**

Try gorgeous.

**Summer**

And she's a chef, so at least we know Coop gets fed now!

**Marissa**

Hey, I eat.

Marissa stated, once again looking indignant, but this time scowling at Summer. The smaller woman just scoffed, clearly not scared by the scowl.

**Summer**

Barely.

**Seth**

But seriously, she's a really nice girl. You'd like her.

**Kirsten**

If we ever get to meet her.

Kirsten looked at her daughter, lifting an eyebrow as she responded pointedly. Marissa simply cleared her throat.

**Marissa**

I'm ignoring that particular subtle hint.

**Summer**

Seth actually made friends with her brother too, which is nothing short of a miracle.

**Kirsten**

Is Ryan a macho man?

**Sandy**

Macho men don't like Seth.

**Seth**

Macho men don't _usually_ like me. Ryan does!

Seth corrected, highly proud that he had made friends with the so called macho men. The truth was, Ryan was just a cool guy. He was interesting, and kinda funny even though he was kind of stoic.

**Marissa**

He's a lot like Alex, just male.

**Summer**

Well they _are_ twins; I guess they'd be quite alike.

**Sandy**

Do we have an estimated time of when we get to meet her?

**Marissa**

Soon. I promise.


	14. The Fight

**Chapter fourteen - The Fight**

**Kelly residence**

After dinner, the family had gone back to Seth's house, where Sandy and Kirsten had excused themselves back to the hotel that Kirsten's company had put them up in. They had already had a massively long day, and they were having an early rise tomorrow. After saying goodbye, Marissa had excused herself too. Driving to Alex's house, like they had half planned, she had greeted Ryan, who had answered the door.

**Marissa**

Hey, I thought you guys were going out tonight?

Marissa pointed out as she followed Ryan into the living room where he sat back down next to Emma.

**Ryan**

We were, but the babysitter cancelled. She's sick.

**Marissa**

Why didn't Alex stay?

**Ryan**

You mean you don't know?

Marissa frowned, totally lost, as she sat in one of the armchairs.

**Marissa**

Know what?

**Ryan**

She got called to some emergency at work. I thought she would have called you by now.

**Emma**

Maybe she just hasn't had chance; if it was an emergency she might be pretty busy.

Emma suggested helpfully.

**Marissa**

Most likely. It wasn't completely definite that I was coming over anyway, we just agreed if it wasn't astoundingly late. But hey, you could still do something right? I can stay with Holly.

She offered, figuring that now she was here she might as well make herself useful. Ryan raised a hopeful eyebrow, looking at Emma to see what she thought, then back at Marissa again.

**Ryan**

Really? You wouldn't mind?

**Marissa**

Not at all. Go out, have a good time.

**Emma**

That's really cool, thanks Marissa.

**Marissa**

No problem.

**Ryan**

Just call me if you need anything.

Marissa nodded, waving them goodbye as they collected their things and left the house. Stretching out a little, she decided to go upstairs and get changed. She pulled out a vest and some shorts, and changed into them quickly. As she grabbed one of Alex's hair ties from her desk, Marissa looked around as she heard the door creak slightly.

**Holly**

Alex?

Holly, clad in her pyjamas and holding her brown, fluffy teddy bear, padded into the room sniffling. With her free hand, she rubbed her eyes, which were red from crying.

**Marissa**

No sweetheart, it's Marissa. What's the matter honey?

Marissa finished tying her hair up quickly as she walked over to Holly. Kneeling down, she frowned as she saw that she had been crying.

**Holly**

I had a bad dream.

**Marissa**

You did huh? Come here, everything's okay.

Marissa stood up, picking Holly up with her as she did, and carried her through the hall and back downstairs. She took her into the kitchen, and sat her on the top before moving to the fridge to grab the milk.

**Marissa**

You wanna tell me what happened in your dream?

She asked Holly, pouring some of the milk out into a cup before putting it in the microwave for two minutes. She watched as Holly shook her head, noticing that she had stopped crying now.

**Marissa**

That's okay, you don't have to. You know, everyone gets bad dreams sometimes. Even adults.

**Holly**

Even you?

**Marissa**

Even me. When I had bad dreams, my Mom used to warm me up some milk and it would always make me feel better. She would let me drink it, before taking me back to bed. And she'd stay there, so I could fall back to sleep again.

Marissa took the milk out of the microwave, and made sure it wasn't too hot for Holly. It felt good, using her Mom's trick of helping her get back to sleep for someone else. Marissa had had a lot of nightmares after the accident. She had always ended up either in the kitchen, or in the pool house, where Kirsten would find her during the night. How she had even known she was there, Marissa had never been able to work out. Kirsten had just said it was Mother's intuition. But whatever the explanation, Kirsten had always made her the milk and either let Marissa cry, or talk, or do nothing at all, before guiding her back to bed where she had stayed until she fell asleep again. Sometimes she had even fallen asleep in there too.

**Holly**

Your Mommy sounds nice.

**Marissa**

She is. Here, you wanna try the milk?

Holly nodded eagerly, and Marissa poured the milk into one of Holly's cups so it didn't spill, and handed it to her. She watched, brushing some of the little girls hair back, as she drank it quietly. Then, she picked her up and walked through to the living room, sitting down and letting Holly cuddle into her as she drank the milk silently. After a while, she noticed that Holly had near enough fallen asleep on her knee, having finished her warm milk. Smirking, she took the cup and put it down, then gathered Holly up in her arms and stood up, carrying her back upstairs.

**Molly**

Rissa?

**Marissa**

Yeah?

**Holly**

Can I stay with you instead?

**Marissa**

Sure honey.

Marissa carried Holly past her bedroom, and on toward Alex's. She set her down on the bed, helping her get comfy.

**Holly**

Will you stay with me like your Mommy stayed with you?

**Marissa**

Yeah, of course I will.

Marissa climbed into the bed too, stretching out comfortably, before Holly rolled over, snuggling into her softly. Instantly she fell asleep, making Marissa smirk, glad that the milk trick had done its job as usual. She stroked through some of Holly's hair, yawning lightly before closing her eyes. Evidently, she hadn't realised how tired she was, because she fell asleep along with the little girl beside her.

It was quite some time later that Alex unlocked her front door, and walked in tiredly. Her night off had turned into a night of hell at the club, having been called in to deal with a series of misunderstandings, complications, accidents and a couple of brawls. When things went wrong, they _really_ liked to go wrong. And it was only when she had finally managed to make it to her office when she had looked at her cell phone, that she had realised she had never called Marissa to tell her she was at work. Instead, she found a text from Ryan saying that she was babysitting Holly while he and Emma went out. Immediately, the blonde felt guilty, and decided to take off now that she had sorted everything out.

Alex turned the TV off, looking around the room to see Marissa's jacket along with her bag, phone and car keys on the table. Sighing, wondering if she was in serious trouble for not calling, she dragged herself up the steps quietly. She pushed Holly's door open and peered in, then frowned as she saw an empty bed. Working her way down the hall, she pushed the door open to her own room, and smirked as she saw Marissa and Holly fast asleep in her bed. It was one of the cutest sights she had ever seen, and she felt her heart dip slightly. Deciding not to disturb them for the time being, Alex crept about her room, collecting some pants and a t-shirt to sleep in. She went to the bathroom to change, and then snuck back into the room.

**Marissa**

You're home.

Alex looked up, startled that Marissa was awake now, and then she cringed.

**Alex**

Yeah. I'm sorry did I wake you up?

**Marissa**

You did, but I'll forgive you anyway.

Alex smiled, moving forward toward the bed.

**Alex**

Since you're in a forgiving mood, am I forgiven for forgetting to call you earlier?

Marissa pretended to think for a moment, but smirked softly as she nodded.

**Marissa**

I suppose so.

**Alex**

Thank you. So how come you have company?

She gestured toward Holly, who was still snuggled up to Marissa, sleeping contentedly.

**Marissa**

She had a bad dream.

**Alex**

She's been having a lot of those. She okay?

**Marissa**

She's fine. I gave her some warm milk and let her fall asleep with me.

**Alex**

Warm milk huh? I'll hafta remember that one. I'll take her back.

**Marissa**

'Kay.

Alex leaned over Marissa, gathering Holly up and then lifted her into her arms. Automatically, the girl held onto Alex, tucking her head into her shoulder, still asleep. The blonde carried her niece through to her own room, placing her down gently and then covering her back up. She leant down, kissing her on the forehead, then crept out of the room again.

**Alex**

How was dinner?

Alex wondered, closing her bedroom door before crossing through the room and climbing into the empty space beside her girlfriend. Marissa smiled sleepily.

**Marissa**

Good. My parents are moving here.

**Alex**

Really? When?

**Marissa**

Not sure yet. When they get a suitable replacement for my Mom in Newport I guess. She's gunna run the L.A firm.

**Alex**

Well that's great, you excited?

**Marissa**

Yeah. Of course this means you'll have to actually _meet_ my parents.

**Alex**

I'm parent meeting material?

**Marissa**

Just barely! You think you can handle that?

**Alex**

For you I can handle that.

Marissa smiled, sleepily rolling over onto her stomach and wrapping her arm around Alex as she rested her head on her shoulder. She lifted her head up slightly, giving the blonde a soft kiss, before settling down again, letting herself drift off to sleep peacefully. It was only a couple of minutes later that Alex fell asleep too.

**Three weeks later **

**Thursday **

**CCR Publishing**

**Marissa**

Have you tried under the bed?

Marissa asked into her phone as she smiled and nodded at the two employees that walked past her as she started to walk down the hallway toward her office after stepping off the elevator. For the last five or so minutes, she had been talking to a frantic Alex, who was freaking out big time right now.

**Alex**

Why would they be there?

**Marissa**

I don't know, we were pretty...

Marissa trailed off suggestively, smiling at another two women as she passed her as she neared her office. She didn't particularly want the entire office talking about her sex life, which was why she was talking as quietly as she could as she listened to Alex rummage through her bedroom, babbling on about superstitions and luck.

**Alex**

Yeah okay, I'm checking under the bed!

Alex agreed, catching onto Marissa's drift quickly, remembering indeed how 'enthusiastic' they had been last night.

**Marissa**

Baby I don't see what the problem is. Wear some of mine.

**Alex**

I don't need to I brought extra clothes.

**Marissa**

So why are you turning my bedroom upside down again?

She wondered enquiringly, finding this particular quirk of Alex's both infuriating and adorable. As she pushed the glass door to Leslie's office and the waiting room open, she stopped in her tracks, seeing two women sitting on the chairs nearest her office doors. Leslie looked at her unhappily and apologetically, giving Marissa the impression that she had wanted the two women to go away until an appointment could be scheduled.

**Alex**

'Cos they're my lucky ones and I need them. _Yes_! Found them. God Marissa, how much did you want me out of my clothes last night?

Alex continued, not realising the awkward position Marissa was now in as she stood before her assistant, and two girls that she had never expected to see again. Or maybe, one girl she probably would end up seeing again, but the other one could have gone a lifetime without seeing, happily so.

**Leslie**

Sorry Marissa, they insisted on waiting.

Marissa just stared at the girls, nodding at Leslie's explanation softly, as they stood up. Immediately upon seeing them move, Marissa was struck by a litany of memories from school. Katie Warner and Taylor Townsend being here had brought about the sudden flashbacks, stalling her for a moment.

**Alex**

Marissa?

**Marissa**

Alex I'm gunna hafta call you back.

Marissa cleared her throat as she shut her phone quickly, then offered a weak smile to her former high school class mates.

**Marissa**

Nice to see you Katie. Taylor.

When it came to addressing Taylor, Marissa's voice held more of a sneer, her eyes narrowing a little bit to add to the general aloofness she wanted to send her.

**Taylor**

Marissa. You're looking good.

**Marissa**

I assume you have something important to talk about since you're here unannounced?

Marissa answered coldly, not wanting to be taken down a path that would lead them to talk about anything personal. She was a businesswoman. She was the CEO damnit, and a busy one. She didn't have time for high school reunions. Especially when they involved Taylor Townsend. Katie however, she had time for. Not only was Katie a nice girl, and had always been nice to her in school, she was being recommended to be signed on here as an author.

**Katie**

I'm really sorry. We could go?

Marissa just sighed slowly, loathe to let Taylor into her office, but seeing no other choice if she were here with Katie. And she didn't want to just flippantly dismiss the budding writer.

**Marissa**

No, you're here now. Come in.

She walked forward into her office, moving to put her satchel she was carrying onto the desk, as the two other women followed her inside. They both looked around at the huge space, and Taylor nodded approvingly.

**Taylor**

Nice office. You've done well.

Marissa turned around, half way through shrugging her coat off, and glared at her.

**Marissa**

Is that the point of your trip?

She snapped irritably. She hung her coat and her suit jacket up onto the coat stand, before moving over to the coffee pot that Leslie started for her every morning. They actually started at the same time, but Leslie had always made a point of being here before Marissa so she could get things like that ready for her.

**Taylor**

No. The point is to strike the best deal for Katie.

**Marissa**

And I have a whole team of well trained people to do just that.

**Taylor**

We'd rather deal with someone we know.

Seeing the hostility between the two women, Katie cleared her throat nervously.

**Katie**

Look, I'm sorry. This is a bad idea. We should go Taylor.

Marissa rolled her eyes, mentally kicking herself for letting Taylor get to her. She had let her do it in school, and she was letting her do it now. Sighing once more, she refocused on what was important.

**Marissa**

It's okay Katie. This is highly irregular, but I'll do it. _You're_ not the one I have a problem with.

Still not being able to resist another shot toward Taylor, she glared at her for a moment before moving with her coffee to pick up her desk phone. Dialling an extension quickly, she waited to see if there would be an answer, considering that the working day was only just getting started.

**Marissa**

Matthew, it's Marissa. Could you bring everything you have on Katie Warner to my office please? Thanks.

Putting down the phone, the brunette gestured toward the coffee pot.

**Marissa**

Help yourself.

**Taylor**

Marissa, I'd really like to clear the air between us. I'm sorry about what happened in school.

**Marissa**

You tried to have me thrown out because I'm gay Taylor.

Marissa pointed out harshly, allowing herself to be so confrontational since Taylor had been the one to bring it up.

**Taylor**

I know, and I apologise. I was just scared.

**Marissa**

Of what?

**Taylor**

Myself.

Marissa frowned in confusion, watching as Taylor looked over toward Katie, who gave her a supportive look. Drawing her head back, she looked beyond astounded as she pointed between the two of them.

**Marissa**

Oh my god! You two are...are...

**Katie**

Together? Yeah. And she really means it Marissa. She's changed.

Marissa looked at Katie, wondering how exactly this union had come to be. As far as she could remember, Taylor and Katie hadn't even travelled in the same circles in school. Katie had been a quiet girl, into her studies and stayed out of everyone's way. Taylor had been a busy body, interfering in peoples affairs and spreading gossip across school. Or launching campaigns such as the one she had launched against her. Marissa looked away from Katie, back onto Taylor to look at her wearily. People did change, she supposed. She had. Alex had. Maybe Taylor had just been scared all that time. Who knew?

**Taylor**

And I'm sorry about Theresa.

**Marissa**

You don't get to say her name. But I'll forgive you for the rest.

**Taylor**

Okay, fair enough.

Marissa had done as she had promised, and gone over the details of accepting Katie to the company after Matthew had dropped off her file. After the meeting was over, she had sent them along to sort out some other details with other departments after writing up their agreement. Katie had a long day in front of her in the office, but once it was sorted out, Marissa knew she would feel better. This was the right choice for her, they would allow her the freedom to write what she wanted to write, and wouldn't try to steer her ideas or override her choices.

Marissa leaned back into her chair slowly, sighing as she thought back to her time at Newport Union again. Then, her eyes flicked upward, onto a picture that sat on her desk. She smiled lightly, forgetting the commotion of assorted feelings of that time, as she looked at the picture of her and Alex laughing into the camera on the beach a few weeks ago.

**Summer**

Has she gone? I heard Taylor T was here.

Summer broke through her daze, her head sticking through the doorway as she looked around fearfully. Marissa snickered, waving her best friend inside.

**Marissa**

She's gone Summer, you're safe.

Looking relieved, Summer strode inside. She had tried to come and see Marissa half an hour ago, but Leslie had told her that she was in a meeting. As she had peered through the little glass window in the door, Summer had thought she recognised the women, but couldn't be sure because they were facing away. It was only when Leslie had told her who they were that Summer had ran back to her office, hoping that she wouldn't have to deal with Taylor.

**Summer**

Thank god! So, we still on for girls night tomorrow?

**Marissa**

Definitely.

**Summer**

Great, was Alex up for it?

**Marissa**

I didn't ask her. I was thinking just us, if that's okay?

Marissa wondered casually, looking up at Summer as she came to a halt by her desk. She had spent so much time with Alex lately; that Marissa had begun to worry that Summer thought she was being left out. Even though they had all hung out together, the brunette didn't want her best friend to think that everything they did had to involve Alex too.

**Summer**

Yeah, works for me. So, you have a big date with her tonight?

Summer though, didn't seem too worried about it at all. She simply shrugged lightly, accepting Marissa choice on their plans.

**Marissa**

No. She's auditioning for some new chefs today, and overseeing the band that's on tonight.

**Summer**

Wow, a night apart.

**Marissa**

Well, not quite, she's coming over afterward.

**Summer**

Really? Doesn't she get home _really_ late?

**Marissa**

Yeah, but I like her being there.

Summer tilted her head, beginning to smirk a little as Marissa gazed back at the picture with a whimsical, loving look.

**Summer**

Awww! Coop!

**Marissa**

What?

**Summer**

You're falling in love. Yey, my little Coop is falling in love. They grow up so fast!

Marissa, despite herself, smirked at Summer as she battered her eyelids, totally over doing it. She tried to look mad, but it really wasn't doing any good.

**Marissa**

Shut up Summer.

**Summer**

Marissa and Alex, sitting in the tree...

Marissa pointed toward her door as soon as Summer began singing.

**Marissa**

Out! Get out!

Summer began to back away, still singing with a mischievous and rebellious smirk covering her lips.

**Summer**

K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

**Marissa**

Don't you _dare_ finish that!

Marissa warned, her only response being Summer's laughter as she walked out of her office.

**Later that night **

**3:14am **

**Marissa's house**

Groaning, Marissa fumbled sleepily to retrieve her cell phone as it rang through her pleasant dream, rudely waking her up. Blindly, she searched the bedside cabinet top, flicking it open as she found it.

**Marissa**

Hello?

**Alex**

I'm outside.

**Marissa**

'Kay...

Shutting her phone, the brunette forced her eyes open, and rolled out of bed, still barely awake. She switched the lamp on before making her way out of her room, hair still messed up from sleep, and glad only in her underwear and a vest. Plodding downstairs, she moved through the quiet, dark house until she made it to the front door, which she unlocked quickly and opened the door. Alex stood on the doorstep, shadowed in the darkness, waiting patiently.

**Alex**

Hi.

Marissa gazed at her girlfriend sleepily as she sighed.

**Marissa**

This is ridiculous.

Alex stepped inside as Marissa stood back, and shrugged lightly.

**Alex**

You insisted on me coming by after work.

Marissa shut the door and locked it again, shaking her head as she turned around to face Alex.

**Marissa**

I don't mean you being here this late.

**Alex**

Then what do you mean?

Plodding over to a shelf in the living room, Marissa picked something up from the table and made her way back into the entrance way. She held something up toward Alex, and as she got closer, the blonde realised it was a key.

**Marissa**

I know we haven't been dating super long or anything, but I think this is the best idea.

**Alex**

Seriously? You want to give me a key?

Marissa frowned at Alex's surprise.

**Marissa**

Is it too much?

**Alex**

No. No, I just didn't expect it. Are you sure?

**Marissa**

I'm sure.

Alex nodded, taking the key gently, as though if she held it too hard she would break it.

**Alex**

Do you want a key to my place?

**Marissa**

Only if you wanna gimme one.

**Alex**

Yeah, I do.

Marissa smiled, and then clicked her fingers before pointing toward Alex. Seeing the bag that the blonde was carrying had reminded her about what she had done earlier. After Marissa had realised that she had fallen in love with Alex three weeks ago, she had been debating on whether telling her or not. Whether it was too soon to say it, and wondered if Alex would be okay with hearing it. She felt pretty sure that the blonde would be okay with it, and a certain part of her was kind of sure she would say it back. But a whole different part of her had made her wait until she was properly confident enough to do so. But Summer's teasing earlier had made her realise that she wanted to do something to further things along. So, she had asked Leslie to get a key cut for her, which wasn't really her job but she had grovelled anyway. And when she had got home she had sorted through her closets. She wanted Alex here, like she had told Summer. She wanted part of her girlfriend rooted in her life all of the time.

**Marissa**

Good. Oh, I've made some space for you too. In the closet.

**Alex**

You have huh?

Marissa leaned into Alex lightly, putting her arms around her neck.

**Marissa**

What can I say, I like having you around.

Alex just smiled before she kissed Marissa slowly. Unbeknown to Marissa, Alex had been thinking much along the same lines as her. Having never really done this before, other than with her ex, Alex didn't know if she should let Marissa know her real feelings or not. She had been thinking about getting her a key too, seeing as Marissa spent a lot of time at her house. It just seemed right. But she hadn't gotten around to it yet, and Marissa had beaten her to the punch. As she pulled back, she just laughed lightly as the brunette yawned sweetly.

**Alex**

Come on Sleepy, time to get you back to bed.

Marissa just grunted, happy to be lead back upstairs and back to her warm, comfy bed.

**Friday **

**Summer and Marissa's girl's night**

**Summer**

Hey, so you never really said why Taylor Townsend was in your office.

Summer enquired loudly, leaning over the table they were seated at a little bit. They had come back to their booth after dancing for a while, needing more drinks and to rest their feet for a little while. Their girl's night out had been a blast so far. Marissa had suggested a gorgeous little Thai place to eat, and then they had hit the bars. They had been hit on more times they could count, and had drinks bought for them in all of the bars they had gone to, before ending up at one particular club that they hadn't been to in a while. They had chatted at their table for a while, drinking happily, until Marissa bolted for the dance floor with Summer in tow. They had managed to fend off most of the guys wanting to dance with them, and had managed to have a really good time.

**Marissa**

Oh god, don't remind me. I couldn't believe it. She came with Katie, we're signing her. They're going out now.

**Summer**

_What_?

Summer yelled in complete shock, leaning forward even further as her eyes bugged out. Marissa simply smirked, nodding as she stirred her straw around in her raspberry daiquiri.

**Marissa**

I know.

**Summer**

I can't believe it. Katie, sure, saw that one coming.

Marissa shrugged and nodded again, understanding the overwhelmed look in Summer's eyes.

**Summer**

Oh…oh my god that guy is coming over.

Marissa looked around, and just like Summer said, an all American beefcake sidled his way over to their table. Marissa snickered at his cheesy smile, rolling her eyes as she looked back at Summer with a quirked eyebrow.

**Tom**

Hello ladies, I'm Tom.

**Summer**

Hi Tom.

**Marissa**

Hey.

**Tom**

I noticed that you're both alone.

**Marissa**

No, we're with each other.

Marissa wiggled her finger between herself and Summer, looking at him as though he was stupid. Clearly, neither of them were alone.

**Tom**

I mean you girls don't have dates. Which is just so wrong, because you're both so fine. What're your names?

**Summer**

Well, I'm Thelma. And this here is Louise.

Marissa coughed, snickering at Summer's reply as she answered seriously, smiling at the guy innocently. She looked at Tom, who smiled at them, seemingly not catching onto the fact that they were teasing him.

**Summer**

You okay Louise?

**Marissa**

Sure Thelma.

**Tom**

Well it's nice to meet you. What are two beautiful girls like yourselves doing here without a guy?

Summer leaned over the table, smiling in a way that Marissa knew she was concocting something evil and cruel in her head. Eagerly she waited for what her friend would say. Summer had come up with so many stories over the years when they had been out together, Marissa loved sitting back and watching her spin stories.

**Summer**

Well Tom, I'm married and Louise here is a lesbian.

Summer wiggled her ring finger, making Tom's smile drop slowly, and then Marissa smiled with a 'too bad' sort of look as she nodded when he looked over at her.

**Summer**

And god darn it, I tried and tried to resist her charms, but I just couldn't. So, don't tell my husband, but we're planning how we're gunna elope to Canada and get married! Isn't that great?

Summer looked at Tom expectantly, gushing over at Marissa as she leant over and took her hand, giving her a loving look. Marissa smiled, trying not to laugh as she put her other hand on top of Summer's, tapping it gently. Tom looked between them, trying to figure out if he was being had, or if Summer was really telling the truth.

**Tom**

Yeah. Good luck with that!

He got up slowly, and bolted straight back to his friends, picking up his beer and drinking it quickly. Summer and Marissa burst into laughter, picking up their own drinks.

**Summer**

I love girl's night!

**One week later **

**Saturday **

**Late morning **

**Marissa's house**

**Marissa**

Hey, I didn't think you'd be up yet.

Marissa had left Alex in her bed about half an hour ago, letting her sleep after she had worked into the wee hours of the night last night. She had gone downstairs into the kitchen, switching on the morning news and going about making some coffee and toast. After she had eaten, ranting pointlessly at the newscasters, she had walked through the house to the front door where she picked up her mail. Turning around, she spotted Alex coming down the stairs, still in her shorts and vest, with her hair mussed up and looking sleepy. The blonde grunted as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

**Alex**

Can't sleep.

Marissa just smiled at Alex warmly, before giving her a quick good morning kiss as they neared each other. Walking back into the kitchen, Marissa dumped her mail onto the counter top and gestured Alex to sit down, then went to pour her out a cup of coffee. Alex did as she was told, sighing as she ran her hands over her face and through her hair.

**Marissa**

Hard night?

**Alex**

Yeah. It was busy as hell. Two fucking bull dykes decided to have a rather public, violent break up and the police turned up asking about some attack that happened in the parking lot across the street.

**Marissa**

Oh my god are you serious?

She handed the coffee out to her girlfriend, who nodded at her question as she took the drink gratefully.

**Alex**

Ah ha. They could _not_ have been packing more of an attitude either. Homophobic dicks. I handed over the security tapes.

**Marissa**

Security didn't see anything?

**Alex**

No, they can't see across the street. But I own a gay club; pretty much every inch of my property is secured. Including the edges of the property, which looks over where the attack happened. I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with the club.

**Marissa**

I'm sorry baby. Anything I can do to help just let me know.

**Alex**

Thanks.

Alex smiled weakly, feeling somewhat better at being able to grumble, and having Marissa's support. Really, there was nothing she could do. But just having her say it, and mean it, that was help in itself. She sipped her coffee, watching as her girlfriend started to go through her post. She dumped a couple of them, but stopped as she came across a hand written one, tearing into it quickly. Immediately, Alex noticed the brunette's mood change as she read the letter quickly.

**Alex**

What is it?

**Marissa**

It's a letter from my sister.

**Alex**

Kaitlin?

**Marissa**

Yeah. Here, look…

Marissa smiled as she took the photo included in the letter out and handed it over to Alex. The blonde took it, smiling as she looked at it too.

**Alex**

Jesus Riss, she looks just like you.

Marissa chuckled lightly.

**Marissa**

You think so?

**Alex**

Yeah. Bet she's got the boys lined up around the block!

**Marissa**

Well, she says that she's not dating anyone right now. But she had a boyfriend, they must have broken up.

Marissa sighed irritably, lowering the letter in her hands.

**Marissa**

I _hate_ not knowing this stuff. You know this stuff. I want to be part of her life.

**Alex**

Hey, you _are_ part of her life. It's not perfect, but clearly you're part of her life.

**Marissa**

It's just so fucked up.

**Alex**

I know. I'm sorry.

Alex stood up and walked around the counter, bringing Marissa into a hug and placing a kiss on the side of her head gently.

**Alex**

Maybe we could come up with a hatchet plan to steal her for a couple of days?

Marissa sniffled, looking at Alex hopefully yet absurdly.

**Marissa**

Steal her?

**Alex**

Sure, I'm a badass I don't mind kidnapping a minor.

Marissa laughed, both appreciating the joke, but at the same time thinking that Alex really would go and steal her sister for her.

**Alex**

Besides, I wouldn't be taking her across state lines so it wouldn't be a felony!

**Marissa**

Maybe. Thank you. I just…I just feel like she should be here with me. You know? She seems so unhappy over there. I just wish there was some way I could get her here with me permanently.

**Alex**

Well, maybe there is a way.

**Marissa**

What?

**Alex**

It's not easy, but she could get emancipated. I did. The only real problem is that your real parents would have to sign in agreement.

Marissa scoffed bitterly.

**Marissa**

They would never do that. Julie would rather see Kaitlin unhappy than to live with me.

**Alex**

Then, maybe at worst, she'll hafta stick it out another year. When she's 18 she can do what she wants. She has a lot of options, she could go to college. There's UCLA. Or she could work with you, me even. Who cares, as long as she'd be here right?

Marissa looked at Alex, somewhat in amazement, as she put her hand on the blonde's face. Having her say that made her think about just why it was that she had fallen in love with her. The fact that she was willing to stick her neck out to try and help her with the situation with Kaitlin, it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her.

**Marissa**

Thank you.

She leant forward, showing Alex her appreciation through her kiss. Then, as she pulled back, she raised an eyebrow questioningly.

**Marissa**

You wanna go running with me?

**Alex**

Sure, let me just go put some clothes on.

**Marissa**

What, no streaking through the park?

Alex just scoffed as she made her way out of the kitchen.

**Alex**

You wish!

**One week later **

**Saturday **

**Cooper house **

**Morning**

Marissa picked up one of the portable house phones as she moved from the kitchen and through into the living room. Pressing one of the speed dials, she waited as the phone started to ring, and settled down into one of the armchairs.

**Seth**

Hello?

**Marissa**

Hey, it's me.

**Seth**

Hey. What's up?

**Marissa**

I was seeing if you were coming to this gallery launch tonight?

She listened as Seth grunted, a tired tone running through his voice.

**Seth**

No, we're giving it a miss. Mia is still really sick, so we're staying home with her.

**Marissa**

Okay, just wanted to make sure. Is the medicine the Dr gave her helping?

**Seth**

Yeah a little. She's asleep right now, but I doubt for long. I practically had to _order_ Summer to go take a nap. She kept insisting it was her duty as a Mother to stay up and take care of her.

Marissa smiled softly, conjuring up the image of the look on Summer's face at being told to go take a nap. Summer had once told her that she aimed to be the type of Mother to Mia that she had never had. It had been in the hospital, just after Mia was born. Marissa had been watching the new Mother hold her baby, and Seth had gone to get them something to drink. She had watched Summer vow to Mia that she would never leave her, and she would never question her love and devotion to her. Marissa had felt her heart sink. Summer rarely talked about her Mother, who had left when she was 8. So she wasn't surprised to hear that her best friend refused to leave Mia's side now.

**Marissa**

And that surprises you?

**Seth**

Well...no! So are you plus guest-ing Alex?

**Marissa**

No need, she has her own invite. Do you guys need anything? I could pick some groceries up or something?

**Seth**

Nah, got it covered. Don't worry, just go out and have a good night for the both of us. I'll tell Summer you said hey.

**Marissa**

Okay. But call me if you need anything.

**Seth**

Will do.

Marissa hung up, staring at the phone for a moment before getting up again. She cleaned up around the house for a while, until lunchtime when Alex arrived. They just hung out, mostly sitting out on the deck outside and watching the sea shimmer as they talked. The time slipped by them quickly, and they started getting ready for the gallery show they had both been invited to. Marissa had been to the gallery itself before, but she had never seen this particular artist. She had heard of her though, and she thought tonight would be interesting if nothing else. As she had gone to take a shower, Alex had decided to have a little 'fun' and hopped in with her not long after. Eventually though, they had to really make themselves focus on getting ready. And, like usual, Alex was finished first.

**Alex**

Marissa come on, hurry up!

Alex sighed after calling her girlfriend again, pacing in the entrance hall near the door.

**Marissa**

Oh my god, could you _be_ any more bossy right now?

Alex just scoffed at the question, looking at the top of the stairs as though she was actually looking at Marissa. What could possibly be taking her this long? They were both girls, they were both wearing dresses. How had it taken her a shorter length of time to get ready, and Marissa this long?

**Alex**

Yes. Would you like me to prove it?

**Marissa**

You're the one that started the little fuck session in the shower.

Marissa pointed out accusingly.

**Alex**

Yet I managed to get ready in time.

**Marissa**

Shut up, I'm from Newport.

Flailing, the blonde nodded in agreement.

**Alex**

Yes, and don't I know it.

She grumbled to herself, turning to pace again and not realising that Marissa had walked out onto the top of the steps. She smirked as she looked down on Alex.

**Marissa**

So how do I look?

Alex turned around and looked up at Marissa, dropping her jaw slightly as she stopped pacing. She gawked at the white dress that Marissa was wearing, that hung and flowed in exactly the right places. The brunette looked like a goddess in it.

**Alex**

You look beautiful.

Alex whispered, still in awe, though loud enough for Marissa to hear her.

**Marissa**

Thank you. You didn't do half bad either. Have I mentioned how hot you look in that dress?

Alex just rolled her eyes with a smirk, looking briefly at the black, strappy dress that she had chosen to wear to tonight's event.

**Alex**

You may have mentioned it, yeah! Now get your ass down here, the car is waiting for us.

Marissa walked down the stairs and walked over to her impatient girlfriend, leaning in and kissing her softly.

**Marissa**

You're bossy, and impatient, and really, _really_ annoying.

Alex simply nodded in agreement, already aware of these things.

**Alex**

And?

**Marissa**

And I like it. Come on Miss Kelly, we have an event to go to.

Alex laughed lightly at Marissa's enthusiasm as they grabbed their jackets and purses before heading out. They talked about the artist they were going to see, Alex mentioning that she knew of some of her artwork, but like Marissa had never met her. She had heard she was quite eccentric, and pretty full on. As the driver pulled up outside of the gallery, both women looked out of the windows, taken back by how many reporters seemed to be there. The place was packed with what seemed like the entire social elite in L.A. Marissa got out of the car first, then held her hand out for Alex as she got out too. They didn't let go of each other as they looked around, seeing how big this thing really was.

**Alex**

I had no idea it was going to be this huge.

**Marissa**

Me either. Smile for the camera.

Both being used to having their picture taken, they did indeed smile courteously for the reporters for a moment. They shouted out their names as they started to edge toward the front door, then moved on to the next important people as they got the picture that Marissa and Alex just wanted to get inside.

Alex pushed the door open, looking relieved to be out of the public eye and inside where they were safe. Though, as she looked around the entrance of the gallery where many people were gathered, she noticed that there was still a fair few people taking pictures inside too.

**Marissa**

Do you want a drink?

**Alex**

Yes please.

Marissa kissed Alex affectionately before she took her coat, then went in search for somewhere to put them, and to find the bar. Alex looked around, stepping over to one of the art pieces on display near where she was standing so Marissa would be able to find her when she came back, but so she wouldn't be board by standing around by herself.

**Grace**

Do you like it?

Alex turned around sharply, caught off guard by the voice behind her. As she looked at the older, attractive woman, she nodded slowly before looking back at the painting.

**Alex**

It's beautiful.

The women, now stepping to the side of Alex, sighed lightly.

**Grace**

It's the favourite of my pieces.

Alex turned to look again, once more being taken off guard. She looked at the woman inquisitively, making her smile before offering out a hand.

**Grace**

I'm Grace Parker. The artist.

Alex took Grace Parker's hand, shaking it politely.

**Alex**

Alex Kelly.

**Grace**

I know who you are Alex Kelly. I've been trying to catch your attention for sometime.

Alex raised an interested eyebrow, gazing over at Grace speculatively, wondering what possible reason a revered artist would want the attention of a meagre club owner. But the confidence that oozed out of Grace told her that she was a woman that was used to getting what she wanted, and someone who knew how to play her cards right. She was mysterious, and looked at her as though she knew a secret that she wasn't going to share. Alex knew why many people said that Grace Parker was dangerously seductive. Clearly, she had the strength to be confrontational, and adored being in the limelight like now. She was radiant, and enigmatic and beautiful. But Alex could also tell that she had a sting to her tail.

**Alex**

Is that so?

**Grace**

The notoriously attractive club owner/chef with a reputation for being a womaniser? Yes, I have.

Alex cleared her throat, faltering for a second at hearing her reputation come up. She figured that someone like Grace Parker, if she did indeed know who she was if she had been trying to get her attention for a while, would know that that reputation had come to a grinding halt. Things had been so good with Marissa that Alex had almost forgotten about it herself. But why would someone like Grace be bothered about it anyway?

**Alex**

My reputation. Yeah, I almost forgot about that.

**Grace**

Why would you want to? I definitely haven't. And now you're right here before me, attractive doesn't seem to be the appropriate term.

Alex gaped at the other woman, slightly shocked and slightly amused as she shifted her stance a little bit so she could look at her a little better.

**Alex**

Are you hitting on me?

Alex squeaked, making Grace laugh seductively. Neither of them noticed that Marissa had come back from getting their coats checked in and getting the drinks.

**Grace**

You say that like you're surprised.

**Alex**

Well, I kind of am.

**Grace**

Oh please, you have women falling at your feet. Why do I surprise you?

**Alex**

Well for one, I had no idea you were a lesbian. _Are_ you a lesbian?

**Grace**

Yes.

**Alex**

And two...well, I suppose I haven't been noticing all these women you say are throwing themselves at me.

Grace quirked an intrigued eyebrow, fascinated by the younger woman before her.

**Grace**

Please, tell me, why is that Miss Kelly? You know you could have any woman you want. You have done, so what's the problem?

Alex opened her mouth to reply, before catching sight of Marissa hovering near them. She looked at her, making Grace turn around to look too. Alex simply bypassed the older woman, moving around her and over to Marissa.

**Alex**

Grace Parker this is Marissa Cooper, my girlfriend.

Grace looked between them, obviously surprised at the discovery. Nevertheless, not one to be overcome, she extended her hand out toward Marissa. She watched as Alex took her drink, leaving the brunette free to shake her hand, which she did politely. Obviously though, from the tension rising between the three of them, none of them were happy. Least of all Marissa.

**Grace**

Well this _is_ a surprise. Alex Kelly and Marissa Cooper, the new L.A lesbian couple. Won't the social papers be buzzing with excitement?

**Marissa**

You know us already.

**Grace**

Honey, I know all the important players in this town. Especially the lesbian players. You're a hot combo, in more ways than one.

**Marissa**

Thanks, I guess. You missed your chance though, most people know we're together now.

Marissa didn't falter from the cool look she gave Grace, even when the artist gave her her best glare. Alex cringed a little, looking between them, obviously uncomfortable at the situation she considered to be mainly her fault. If it weren't for her damn reputation, maybe Grace would never have hit on her in the first place.

**Grace**

You should mingle, there are a lot of people here tonight that would love to meet you both. I'll let you be.

Both of the girls watched as Grace swaggered off, but then Alex started slightly as Marissa turned her glare onto her.

**Marissa**

What was that about?

**Alex**

What was what about?

Marissa flailed between Alex and where Grace had been stood angrily, severely pissed off.

**Marissa**

_That_. The two of you getting real cosy.

**Alex**

Marissa don't be so ridiculous.

Alex replied offhandedly, flicking her hand as she took a sip of her drink. It annoyed her that Marissa was taking this so out of context. Clearly, she hadn't done anything wrong. She couldn't be held responsible if women wanted to try and hit on her. It wasn't like she had flirted with her or led her on.

**Marissa**

_Ridiculous_? Not from what I saw.

**Alex**

You didn't _see_ anything, because _nothing_ happened. God.

**Marissa**

Whatever, she was totally hitting on you.

**Alex**

Oh my god, are you jealous?

The blonde accused in a harsh whisper, not wanting their escalating fight to spill over to the people around them. And it was turning into a fight. The first they had actually had, as a matter of fact. Alex resented that it had to be over this though. Marissa knew how she felt about her reputation, she knew already how she got hit on a lot. So getting pissed off at her, in the middle of a crowd, was infuriating.

**Marissa**

No. Just pissed off.

**Alex**

I didn't _do_ anything wrong, she started talking to me first. I can't ignore the artist of the fucking show.

**Marissa**

You didn't have to flirt with her.

**Alex**

I didn't flirt with her. She flirted with me.

**Marissa**

So you admit it.

**Alex**

Yes. No. God, stop being such a drama queen. Nothing happened. I'm not interested in her, I'm with you.

**Marissa**

We're not talking about this here.

**Alex**

Fine.

Alex agreed haughtily through gritted teeth. She glared at her girlfriend, who was looking away from her, wondering what the hell had gone wrong tonight. It wasn't though she expected their relationship to go along completely peacefully, people had fights. She just couldn't believe they were fighting over this. Nothing had happened. Clearly, Marissa was just overreacting because she knew about her reputation, which must have meant that she wasn't trusted. The thought struck a painful blow to Alex's stomach, and it took a lot of effort to continue on through the night.

There were a lot of people that wanted to talk to them, thankfully. It made it easier to remain at the gallery, networking was quite important to both of their businesses. Or even if it wasn't about business, it was still good to make friends in this town. So they made the effort to float around, talking and laughing with people, letting themselves be introduced to more people. After a while, the feuding couple split up. Alex needed a break from the acting, so she made her way around the exhibit, still finding people to talk to along the way. Marissa on the other hand, had lost all interest in the artwork, and decided to stay put and mingle instead. Like Alex was doing elsewhere, she chatted with people, posing for pictures as the photographers came along to snap up the evenings goings on. The couple were even requested to be photographed together when Alex found Marissa again, to which they complied uncomfortably, but managed to look happy enough to fool everyone. Eventually and gladly, it came time to leave.

The ride back to Marissa's house had been nothing like the ride to the gallery. This time, they sat on their own sides of the car, staring out of the windows in an angry silence. The only thing either of them could think about was the escalating fight that they were bound to end up finishing at home.

After Marissa opened her front door, she sighed and walked through the darkened house toward the kitchen. Alex rolled her eyes, closing the door behind her and then followed Marissa through the house. When she turned into the kitchen, the brunette was leaning into the fridge, staring into it indifferently.

**Alex**

What is this?

Marissa pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and stood up properly, letting it close again. It bugged her that Alex sounded so damn confused. What she had seen at the gallery had sent a piercing pang of jealousy shoot through her, making her angry that her girlfriend had been stood there letting someone else come onto her.

**Marissa**

What?

**Alex**

_This_. You. Being so irrational.

**Marissa**

You think I'm being irrational?

**Alex**

A little bit, yeah.

Marissa flailed, turning around to look at Alex properly, frowning furiously.

**Marissa**

Well excuse me for not liking my girlfriend flirt with other women right in front of me.

She yelled harshly, making Alex groan, frustrated.

**Alex**

I was _not_ flirting! Okay? She was, I wasn't. End of story.

**Marissa**

It's not like you can blame me. She's right, women do fall at your feet, you could and have had any one of them. Including her.

Alex drew her head back immediately, almost as if Marissa had slapped her in the phone. She didn't hide the hurt expression that crossed her features, or the sting of tears that threatened her eyes.

**Alex**

What?

Realising what she had said, Marissa looked guilty as she shook her head slowly.

**Marissa**

I didn't mean it to come out like that.

**Alex**

But it did. Do you think the same as everyone else? Do you think I'm a whore like they do?

**Marissa**

No, of course I don't. I just...I just meant...

**Alex**

That you don't trust me? Is that it? You can't trust me around other women because I'm a womaniser.

Marissa sighed, turning and putting her hands onto the counter top before looking down. Things were getting far too out of control. She hadn't meant to say what she had, but at the same time she couldn't deny the overwhelming fear and jealousy she had felt tonight. She couldn't stop feeling as though she should be angry at Alex for what happened.

**Marissa**

Alex that's not it.

She whispered softly, hoping to calm the situation down and talk about it properly. At the back of her mind, where there was a small amount of rationality left, she knew that Alex would never hurt her like that. She knew that it wasn't her fault that women came onto her. Whether she had a reputation or not, it was going to happen.

**Alex**

Un-fucking-believable.

**Marissa**

Alex...

**Alex**

_No_! No you've made your feelings quite clear thank you very much. Thanks for the vote of confidence baby. Did you ever stop to ask yourself why I could never settle down, or did you just think I was just a slut? Did it not occur to you that I can't see past you? No. You saw someone coming onto me and just expected me to take the opportunity, right? You know what, fuck you. I don't need that.

Turning around, Alex marched out of the kitchen, heading through the house toward the front door.

**Marissa**

Alex. Don't go. I'm sorry.

Bolting after her girlfriend, Marissa followed the blonde but wasn't quite quick enough. She sighed as she reached the door, only being able to watch helplessly as Alex started up her jeep and pull away quickly. Sighing madly, she slammed her door shut, wondering how the hell this had happened and how she had been so fucking stupid.

**Marissa**

_Shit_.


	15. The Love

**Chapter fifteen – The Love**

**Sunday **

**Alex's house**

Even though she had gone surfing with Ryan earlier, Alex had barely spoken through much of the day. Actually, she had hidden most of the day in her room, moping around by herself. She still felt hurt by what had happened last night, and the look of it still washed over her eyes. Marissa had tried to call throughout the day, and had left some messages, but Alex hadn't responded to any of them. Her heart had sank, as she listened the brunette's voice, listened to how sorry she was, and the sadness in her tone, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to answer her or call her back. Her pride had been wounded, her feelings had been hurt and most of all, her trust had been violated. She didn't know what to do about that, no matter how sorry Marissa seemed to be for it.

Now, the blonde was sat on her porch, looking out toward the dark sea, watching as she saw boats lights bob up and down as the water moved. She wondered how far out they were, or what they were doing out there. She just mused that it must have been nice out there, away from everything. It must have been peaceful. Maybe the people out there didn't feel anything? Being so far away from civilisation, perhaps nothing touched them out there? She would be willing to give it a try if it were true.

**Ryan**

Holly's asleep.

Ryan informed her, looking down at her briefly. He sighed lightly as Alex just nodded, not looking away from the ocean, but taking another swig of her beer. The most he had heard her speak was when she had ranted after she got home last night, before locking herself away in her room before anyone had chance to talk to her about it. He had stood back the entire day, just letting his sister work through her feelings. Only, she wasn't doing that. She was just wallowing and he was sick of it. So he sat down beside her, holding his own beer, and opened his mouth to say something before he was interrupted by Alex's cell phone ringing. Looking down, he saw the phone on the step in between them, and saw Marissa's name on the caller ID. But his sister still didn't move her eyes away from the bobbing lights out to sea.

**Ryan**

You should answer that.

**Alex**

Why? She made it clear what she thought of me.

**Ryan**

Just because she freaked out doesn't mean she thinks you're a slut. You tend to assume what people think of you.

This time, he elicited a response from his sister, as she looked away from the sea to glare at him wrathfully.

**Alex**

I do not.

**Ryan**

Yes you do. You convince yourself people think that and then push them away. It's your excuse to hide.

Ryan pointed out calmly, not wavering under his sister's murderous glare. She still looked at him, although now as though he had just punched her in the stomach, but she made no effort to argue.

**Ryan**

Look, I'm sorry. But someone has to say it. And point out that you need to talk to Marissa. Because she's worth getting through your walls for.

Ryan stood up again, putting his hand on Alex's shoulder briefly, before he left her alone to think again. He didn't want to overdo things, that would make her close up even more, and make her angrier at him. He knew he had managed to say what was important, and make her realise that she needed to talk it out with her girlfriend.

**Wednesday **

**The Purple Heart**

The Purple Heart was alive with its usual slue of tones as Marissa pushed her way through the door nervously. The heat and the beat hit her immediately, but she barely recognised them as her eyes began to search for any signs of her girlfriend. The past four days had been excruciating. She had started to feel like she was going crazy, getting nothing but silence from Alex, who was still refusing to reply to any messages or answer any of her calls. Marissa had began to freak out, worrying that their whole relationship was about to end, so had pulled herself together and came down here to try and confront Alex face to face. It was better than moping around guiltily, or getting drunk and sobbing on your friend's shoulders. She hoped, anyway. The downside to actually hearing from Alex, was having to hear that it was over.

**Marissa**

Is she here?

Marissa looked up at Lisa, after negotiating her way to the bar. The darker haired woman turned around, looking at her sympathetically.

**Lisa**

Yeah, but you're all access pass has been revoked.

**Marissa**

_Damnit_!

**Lisa**

I'm sorry Marissa, she's my boss.

**Marissa**

It's not your fault, it's mine. I said...something. She won't talk to me.

**Lisa**

Yeah, she's kinda stubborn like that.

Lisa, feeling sorry for the other woman, gestured upward with her eyes, making Marissa turn around and look up to the walkway. Her eyes connected with Alex's cold and harsh ones, as the blonde leaned on the railing, looking down at them. Marissa shrugged at her, looking up desperately.

**Marissa**

I'm sorry.

Alex glared at her, before turning away and walking into her office, out of sight. The brunette sighed, turning back to Lisa who had poured her a shot of something. Picking it up, Marissa downed it, then slipped up onto one of the bar stools and slumped over the top haphazardly.

**Marissa**

What the fuck am I supposed to do if she won't talk to me? How does she expect me to apologise?

She wiggled the shot glass, indicating that she wanted another. Okay, so drowning her sorrows again was a great idea right now. She felt like she was in limbo, and Alex was some untouchable goddess up there in her office. Marissa knew she couldn't get up there if Alex didn't want her up there. So what exactly was she supposed to do? How did she say sorry, or how did they talk about what happened?

**Lisa**

Can't help you with that one.

Lisa poured her friend another shot, and continued to do so for over an hour longer. The brunette just sat at her stool, randomly muttering things and indicating she wanted more liquor as she got more and more wasted. As far as Lisa could make out, the plan was for Marissa to wait Alex out, think that eventually she had to come out of hiding. Of course, it wasn't working. She just ended up getting shit faced in the process. But at the crowds started to thin as it got later and later, Alex eventually did come out of her office, walking through into the bar and eyeing an almost passed out Marissa.

**Alex**

Lisa, what the _fuck _were you thinking? Look at her.

Alex demanded, flailing a hand to Marissa who was lurched over the bar. Lisa looked over, shrugged casually but all the while casting a compassionate look toward the brunette.

**Lisa**

What? I cut her off. Eventually.

Alex just groaned, flailing as she turned away from Marissa for a moment, sighing and rubbing her forehead tiredly.

**Alex**

This is really stupid.

**Lisa**

So let her say sorry so we can all move on. I hate you when you're like this.

**Alex**

Shut up Lisa.

**Lisa**

See.

Alex heard her friend, even though she retorted under her breath. She didn't take it up further, because Alex knew she had been a pain in the ass for everyone since her fallout with Marissa. Her staff had virtually hidden from her, in fear that they would get their heads bitten off for no other reason than that they were there. One way or another, this had to stop.

**Alex**

What am I supposed to do with her now?

**Lisa**

She's your girlfriend, not mine.

Turning around again, Alex looked at Marissa carefully. She tried to feel something other than concern and love, tried to force herself to push away those feelings and replace them with anger and resentment. She was failing. So instead she pulled out her cell phone and dialled quickly before putting the phone to her ear, never taking her eyes away from Marissa.

**Alex**

Hey Seth, it's Alex. You may wanna get down here and collect your sister.

Before Seth had chance to respond, Alex ended the call by snapping her phone shut. Lisa scoffed behind her, looking at her friend and boss coldly.

**Lisa**

Smooth boss, _real_ smooth.

**Alex**

You don't know anything about it.

**Lisa**

I don't need to. Look at her. Don't you think that she's sorry for whatever it is she said? Don't you think she's been punished enough? You're not this cruel Alex, so do yourself a favour and take her home. Take. Your. Girlfriend. Home.

Alex looked at Lisa for a moment, seemingly uncomfortable that she was being called on her behaviour. Lisa left her alone, moving to the other side of the bar to serve someone. Sighing, she dialled her phone again.

**Alex**

Hey, it's okay; I've got it under control.

Irritated at herself for giving in, she rolled her eyes and walked off of the bar and round to where Marissa was drooped over. Putting her hand on the brunette's shoulder, she shook her gently, but hard enough to gain her attention.

**Alex**

Come on Marissa, time to go home.

Marissa looked up, blinking in confusion.

**Marissa**

Alex?

**Alex**

Yeah. Come on, we're going home.

**Marissa**

I miss you.

Alex helped her girlfriend off of the bar stool, putting Marissa's arm across her shoulders so she could help her walk.

**Alex**

It's only been 3 days.

**Marissa**

That's long enough to miss you.

**Alex**

I know, I miss you too. But I'm still pissed off at you. Don't think this is me giving in.

**Marissa**

I didn't mean it.

**Alex**

Let's wait until you're sobre for this conversation.

Alex managed to put Marissa in her jeep, then drove home silently. She kept looking at the brunette, who had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as they had set off. She looked angelic when she slept, even when she looked so dishevelled. Alex felt guilty, knowing that she had been the reason why Marissa looked like that. It had been wrong of her to ignore her like that. She guessed that Ryan and Lisa were right. That she needed to talk it over with Marissa rather than neglect the situation and wallow. But she was scared, because she had never had to do it before.

**Marissa**

Is this one of those times you told me about?

Marissa asked sluggishly, after Alex helped her climb into bed. As she laid down, she looked at the blonde who was hovering over here. She had helped her get changed, and made her drink some water before putting her into bed gently. At least the care wasn't gone, she just hoped that it was enough.

**Alex**

What?

**Marissa**

You said sometimes you'll try and push me away. That I shouldn't let you. Is this one of those times?

Alex thought back, almost smirking that Marissa had managed to remember that conversation considering how totalled she was right now. She was looking up at her so desperately innocent, all she wanted to do was forget that this had ever happened. She wanted to go back to Saturday night, and never make it to that stupid gallery show.

**Alex**

Yeah, it is.

**Marissa**

'Kay, then I'm gunna keep bugging you till you talk to me.

**Alex**

You've made that pretty clear. Look, go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.

**Marissa**

Promise?

**Alex**

Yeah, I promise.

She smiled as Marissa fell asleep, staying there as she stroked through her hair softly as she did. Then, she moved away and pulled out some cotton pants and a t-shirt to sleep in. For a few moments, she couldn't decide whether to stay in Marissa's room, or one of the spare rooms. But in the end, not daring to leave the brunette in case she was sick or something through the night, she climbed in with her. That, and she had missed her being there at night.

The next morning, seeing that Marissa was still sleeping soundly, Alex get up, leaving the brunette to sleep. After taking a shower and getting dressed, Alex went downstairs and got some breakfast, before settling down in front of the television. She flicked through the channels aimlessly, just wasting time until Marissa finally woke up. Eventually, as it got to lunchtime, her girlfriend surfaced.

**Alex**

I need you to trust me.

Marissa moved over to one of the arm chairs, sitting down gingerly as her head still throbbed and pounded from last night.

**Marissa**

I do trust you.

**Alex**

Great fucking way of showing it.

**Marissa**

I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let myself get jealous. But I never said you were a whore Alex, you put that in my mouth.

Alex sighed reluctantly, looking away from the TV set that she had switched off and over at Marissa.

**Alex**

I know I did. But I told you. I told you about my reputation. You said you didn't care. What is that?

**Marissa**

I know. Look, I do trust you. I just...you just...you drive me crazy. And I hated watching her come onto you.

Alex paused for a moment, focusing on what Marissa had said.

**Alex**

I make you crazy?

**Marissa**

You do. You're bossy, and impatient and really, _really_, annoying. But you're mine.

Alex just smiled, searching Marissa's eyes for any untruth. She didn't find any. She just found sincerity and guilt.

**Alex**

You honestly trust me?

**Marissa**

Yes, I honestly trust you.

**Alex**

Okay, then I forgive you. But you have to be honest with me, and talk to me when you feel insecure, okay?

**Marissa**

Okay, I promise I will.

Marissa nodded eagerly, even though her head berated her for doing so. Her happiness at having Alex forgive her overrode her headache for the moment, the relief of not loosing the blonde making her feel slightly light headed.

**Alex**

And you can't just freak out like that every time a girl comes onto me. Cos it kinda happens a lot.

**Marissa**

Fine. But you can't ignore me for days on end either.

Marissa insisted firmly, looking at Alex with a pointed and unhappy look that she had done so.

**Alex**

Well, I can't make any promises but I'll try.

Given that she knew how stubborn she was, it was the best Alex could offer. She watched as Marissa nodded, but then stopped, cringing as she rubbed her temple with a look of pain washing over her pale features. Alex just smiled, not at Marissa's pain, but just because they had finally sorted things out.

**Alex**

You want some painkillers?

Marissa groaned loudly.

**Marissa**

You read my fucking mind!

Alex chuckled softly, standing up with every intention of going into the kitchen to get Marissa some juice and painkillers. Along with some chocolate. She still maintained that orange juice and chocolate were the best thing for a hangover. But as she stood up however, Marissa's house phone started to ring. Quickly, she grabbed it and handed it over to Marissa so she didn't have to bother getting up.

**Marissa**

Thanks. Hello? Oh hey Katie. Am I what? No I'm fine. Well, a little hung over but fine, thank you. And thanks for making sure I got home the other night, that was cool of you. Yeah, we have. Okay sure, yeah no, go it's okay. Bye.

Marissa looked at the phone oddly as she switched it off, then shook her head lightly. Katie had the tendency to be a little odd sometimes. She had ran into her old classmate and newly signed author at one of the rock clubs she liked to go to sometimes, which she had turned to on Monday to drown her sorrows. Katie had been good enough to sit through her drunken spiel about what had happened with Alex, and had made sure she had gotten home okay afterward. She had been kind and compassionate, and quite concerned, Marissa seemed to recall. Offering advice and support, letting her cry on her shoulder. It had been nice of her. But just now on the phone she had been a little distant.

**Alex**

Spent the past few days in a drunken haze, huh?

Marissa looked up, realising that Alex was standing in front of her now, holding out the juice and painkillers. She reached out and took them thankfully. Anything that could stop the pounding in her head right now she would quite happily take.

**Marissa**

Kinda.

**Friday night**

**CCR**

**Alex**

So what's this party for again?

Alex wondered, looking around the elevator that was taking them up to the top floor of CCR Publishing. Surprisingly enough, this was actually the first time she had been in the building. Over the last few weeks, she had picked Marissa up outside a couple of times, but had yet to step inside. Until now, of course.

After Marissa had felt better yesterday, and having taken the rest of the day off, the couple had decided to climb in Alex's jeep and head out of the city. They had driven for what felt like miles and miles, just enjoying the ride and the countryside that they passed by. They had stopped here and there, to get a drink or something to eat. Or just to take in the views that they found, holding one another as they looked over them. It was at one of these spots that they had found themselves eagerly 'making up' in the back of the jeep. When they had arrived home it was well past dusk.

**Marissa**

No particular reason. We just like to throw them sometimes to keep up morale and stuff. Sometimes they're here; sometimes we book a restaurant or something. One of the ways we say thanks for working so hard. It's good to blow off steam.

Alex smirked, thinking that the employees here were extremely lucky to have bosses that appreciated them so much.

**Alex**

I hear that!

She responded suggestively to the last part, earning herself a chuckle from Marissa before she kissed her softly. The soft ping of the elevator interrupted them as they reached the executive floor, and the brunette moved first, pulling Alex out behind her. She smiled at some of the staff that were currently gathered in the hall, evidently having found somewhere quieter to talk rather than in the huge conference room that was hosting the main of the party. Alex just walked along behind Marissa, happily letting herself be lead along as she looked around. She was impressed so far, the building was very grand and everything seemed very professional but had a strong, easy vibe running through it too. Everyone looked as though they were having a good time too. There were definitely plenty of drinks on tap, along with a wide range of food.

**Marissa**

Do you want a drink?

**Alex**

Yes please.

Marissa nodded, weaving in and out of a couple of people, then let go of Alex's hand as she continued on alone toward the drinks table. Alex took in a long breath, looking around at all the happily chatting CCR employees. Some were in casual wear, and some were in suits, but with ties loosened and sleeves rolled up. She smiled and waved at Summer, who had seen her first from the corner she was stood in, talking to a couple of tall guys.

**John**

Hey there, I'm John.

Alex turned to look at the man that had approached her, offering her a charming smile. He was tall, with a boyishly handsome face with sticky up hair and a soft rogue-ish beard that she guessed drove a lot of women around here crazy. He wasn't an in your face kind of gorgeous, but gorgeous none the less. And he knew it.

**Alex**

Alex.

She stated simply, not wanting to be discourteous.

**John**

Can I fetch you a drink, Alex?

**Alex**

No, thank you. I'm fine.

John nodded, letting his eyes move to look her up and down for a moment.

**John**

Yes you really are. We could get out of here, if you wanted? Make our own fun.

**Alex**

You're not my type.

**John**

What's your type?

**Marissa**

I am.

Both Alex and John looked up to see Marissa standing behind them, holding two beers with a look of pure mischievousness crossing her eyes. Alex smirked, taking the offered bottle of beer, as John simply looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

**Marissa**

John, do me a favour and stop hitting on my girlfriend?

Marissa asked sweetly, enjoying his squirming just a little too much. She watched as the varied feelings of humiliation to pure terror swept through his face, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. Hitting on your bosses girlfriend wasn't exactly a career helper.

**John**

Erm…sure boss. Sorry.

After that, John slinked away, cringing to himself as he did. Marissa chuckled, before taking Alex's free hand and pulled her forward a little bit.

**Marissa**

How come every time I leave you alone someone hits on you?

**Alex**

'Cos they have good taste?

Marissa scoffed.

**Marissa**

Whatever! Next time, you can go get the drinks and I'll be the one getting hit on.

**Alex**

Okay!

Alex just laughed, shaking her head a little bit before she leant in and placed an excruciatingly slow kiss on Marissa's lips. Then, she pulled back again, and lifted her beer to her mouth to take a sip.

**Marissa**

Oh my god…

Alex raised an eyebrow, seeing Marissa grin as she looked over her shoulder toward the door. The blonde turned, narrowing her eyes slightly, confused as to what had caught her girlfriends attention. For a moment, she couldn't see anything special. Just partygoers having a good time. But then, as Marissa waved and started to walk forward, she saw a girl smile widely and squeal a little bit as Marissa reached her and wrapped her into a hug. There was an older woman standing by them, smiling widely too.

**Marissa**

I had no idea you were back, it's so good to see you. Leslie why didn't you tell me?

The brunette gushed, holding the fair haired woman at arms length, still grinning excitedly.

**Leslie**

She swore me to secrecy. Who's that?

Marissa faltered, looking behind her and realising that Alex hadn't moved from the spot she had left her in. She did, however, look quite uncertain about the situation. Taking the young woman's hand, she led them over.

**Marissa**

Alex this is my executive assistant Leslie Bryant, and her daughter Millie. Guys this is my girlfriend Alex.

**Leslie**

Oh so you do exist? I was beginning to think Marissa had made you up. Nice to meet you.

Leslie drawled, shaking Alex's hand before eyeing Marissa for a moment. All the talk the girl had done about Alex and she had never brought her by once. Of course, she knew that Alex was real, she just liked to tease her boss about it sometimes.

**Alex**

You too, I've heard a lot about you.

**Marissa**

Millie has been overseas, doing that doctors without borders thing. God I'm so glad you're back. How was it?

**Millie**

It was gruelling, but an amazing experience. But I can't wait to catch up with everyone, it seems like a lot has changed.

Millie smiled, looking between Marissa and Alex. The last time she had seen Marissa, she had still been swearing off relationships. Now, according to what she had heard from her Mother and what she saw now, things had drastically changed.

**Seth**

Excuse me Ladies, don't mind me.

Everyone looked at Seth as he weaved his way over, then put his hands on Alex's shoulders and started to lead her away like it was the most natural thing to do. Giving Marissa a look of confusion, the blonde just let herself be lead away by Seth, wondered what exactly he had stolen her for. Little did she know that she was being kidnapped so Seth could show some of his colleagues what a hot girl that liked comics looked like!

**Millie**

Holy crap Rissa, she's gorgeous. Explain!

Mille pointed her thumb in the general direction Alex had been directed to, but looked at Marissa with an astounded and impressed look.

**Marissa**

I don't even know where to start.

**Leslie**

She's been lovesick since they met. She thinks no one notices, but we do!

Marissa giggled, pushing Leslie slightly before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

**Marissa**

I just found someone special, when I least expected it.

**Millie**

She got any brothers?

**Marissa**

Yeah, but he's spoken for.

**Millie**

Figures. Okay woman, get me a drink and start spilling the details!

**Three days later**

**Monday**

**CCR**

**5:34pm**

Marissa sighed heavily as she placed the last of her paperwork into her satchel, then rubbed the side of her forehead slowly as she stood up from her desk chair. After closing the satchel, she walked to the other side of the room and picked up her jacket and slipped it on quickly, before walking back to the desk. As she did, she cringed a little as her cell phone started to ring. For a brief second, she thought about ignoring it, in case it was something to do with work. A client or colleague perhaps. But knowing that she couldn't despite how tired she was, she picked it up, flicking it open without looking at it.

**Marissa**

Hello?

**Alex**

Hey baby, you sound beat.

Marissa smiled, perking up as she heard Alex's voice on the other end of the line. From the sound of distant music in the background, she could tell that her lover was still at the club. They had both had a busy few days, but tonight they had decided to take some time out and do something relaxing together.

**Marissa**

I am, it's been a long, long day. Are you heading home?

At hearing the sigh from Alex, Marissa automatically knew that her plans of relaxing with her girlfriend had just shattered. She knew that sigh, Alex did it just about every time she had to give her bad news. Usually it meant that she had to work over or something like that. Which she knew she was about to be told now.

**Alex**

I can't, I'm sorry. I have to stay and help man the bar, half the staff is out with his bug that's been going around and I can't find anyone to cover.

Alex explained regretfully, a tinge of guilt worked in there too. She sounded disappointed, and Marissa couldn't really blame her for people being off sick. A few of her own staff were out with it too. But still, the brunette was severely disappointed. Sometimes she just wished that their companies wouldn't get in the way of their plans. But she knew how much they both loved their work, and how hard they had worked to build them. She was just tired and crabby, and now she wasn't going to get any time with Alex tonight.

**Marissa**

It's okay.

**Alex**

No, it's not. But I promise to make it up to you.

**Marissa**

Oh really? I'll hold you up to that missy!

Marissa smiled, her tone teasing and playful. She didn't want Alex to feel anymore guilty than she already did, and she couldn't do anything about the situation anyway. There was no reason she should sulk over it. Shit happened.

**Alex**

I'm sure you will. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

**Marissa**

No, come over when you're done.

The brunette insisted, the request coming out more as a whine than anything else. She was already loosing her evening, but she didn't want to not have Alex there at all. She didn't want to wake up in an empty bed. She just needed her there, she liked knowing that the blonde was next to her.

**Alex**

It's Monday night Marissa; it'll be almost 3 by the time I get in.

**Marissa**

I don't care what time you get in. Please?

Biting her lip and lifting her eyebrows like Alex could see her, she waited anxiously for the answer. Something in her just desperately didn't want to be alone tonight.

**Alex**

Okay, far be it from me to be able to say no to you.

**Marissa**

I'll remember that! I...

Marissa stopped herself suddenly, before clearing her throat. Her stomach dipped a little, sending butterflies fluttering through it. She frowned a little in confusion, but shook it off as best she could.

**Marissa **

I'll see you later.

**Alex**

Yeah, okay. Bye.

She could detect the confusion in Alex's voice before the line went dead, and the brunette just looked at her phone for a moment, her frown growing slightly. Clearing her throat again, she shrugged off the weird feeling and ran a hand through her hair. Blinking a couple of times, she realised that she had been about to leave and picked up her stuff, heading out of the office.

Marissa had managed to make it through the heavy afternoon traffic, and had made a beeline to get into the bath. She had managed to get herself to relax in the bubbles and hot water, her mind filtering everything away peacefully. That was until the phone had started ringing. Finding herself a little bit more awake and refreshed, she had agreed to watch a movie and get take out with Taylor and Katie. She found it odd making an effort to befriend Taylor Townsend, but it turned out that she actually wasn't that bad after all. She guessed people really did change. So, after another half hour soaking her aches and pains away, Marissa had finally pulled herself out to get ready.

**Marissa**

Hey guys, come on in.

The brunette smiled as she stepped aside to let the two women come in. She had only just managed to dry herself off, change into some shorts and a vest top and brush through her hair before her friends had arrived. She had cut it fine but she had enjoyed her bath immensely. Now, she watched the other two women look around curiously, and scoffed a little as Taylor nodded approvingly. Some things still never really changed, she guessed.

**Marissa**

I just got out of the bath, so I haven't really got anything ready. Do you want a drink?

**Taylor**

That would be great, thanks.

Marissa smiled and nodded, giving Katie a warm smile before turning around and walking through the house. She indicated for them to follow her, and then flippantly flailed over to the couches in a silent gesture for them to make themselves at home. Taylor though, went straight over to the pictures on some of the shelves. She smiled, even chuckled, at some. Mainly the ones with Summer and Seth in them. Deep down she had always liked them. Especially Seth, he was a good guy. Funny too. But as her eyes scanned the photos, she spotted something that piqued her interest more.

**Taylor**

Wow.

Katie turned from studying some kind of tribal looking wooden statue to see what her girlfriend was looking at. She lifted a curious eyebrow as Taylor flashed her a glimpse of the picture, before moving through the living room in order to follow Marissa into the kitchen.

**Taylor**

Who's the supermodel Marissa?

Stepping back from the fridge, from which she had pulled out three beers, Marissa looked up, completely confused. Then, as Taylor held up the picture, she smirked a little before turning away and walking to the counter where she put the bottles down, almost dropping one in the process.

**Marissa**

That's my girlfriend, Alex.

**Katie**

_That's _Alex?

Katie demanded, a little shocked. She peered at the picture over Taylor's shoulder, hoping that neither of them caught the hint of despair running through her voice. When Marissa had been sobbing on her shoulder not long since, she had listened to the brunette talk about her. And how beautiful she was. Katie had just assumed that Marissa was exaggerating. After all, most people did, especially when they were drunk. But evidently, she really hadn't been. And she couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment and jealousy run through her. Not that anyone knew it, but she had developed a crush on Marissa Cooper back in high school. Who could blame her, right? The problem was, that crush had never really gone away. It had just developed into something stronger.

**Marissa**

Yeah. She's working tonight, so she won't be by.

**Taylor**

Well, it's a good job you have us to keep you company. Right honey?

After getting no response from Katie, who was currently staring at a shiny spot on the floor, Taylor nudged her gently to gain her attention.

**Katie**

Huh? What?

**Taylor**

I said it's a good job Marissa has us to keep her company, since Alex is working tonight.

Taylor repeated herself. Katie looked up at Marissa, who looked at her speculatively as she took a sip of her beer. The affect that she had on her was still overwhelming. If anything, the brunette had only gotten more stunning over time. Katie had never expected to end up seeing Marissa again when she had sent her sample into CCR. She was the CEO, after all. It had ironically been Taylor's idea to go and see her that morning in the not too distant past. And that's when Katie realised certain things.

**Katie**

Yeah, it is. Let's go order, I'm starving.

As Marissa climbed into bed, after her friends had left, she wondered about a couple of things. First, she wondered why Katie had been quiet all night. There had been a few times that she had looked over at her, only to find her looking back, with a thoughtful expression covering her face. She wondered if there was something on her mind, that perhaps she didn't want Taylor to know about. Marissa wasn't quite sure, she didn't know the other girl well enough to tell.

Then, she began to think about Alex. Or more specifically, what had almost happened this afternoon. She had worked out, during the chick flick that Taylor had brought over, that she had almost told Alex that she loved her over the phone. But she had stopped short and corrected herself. She couldn't help but wonder why she had. Was it that she wasn't ready for Alex to know? Or that she just didn't want to say it for the first time over the phone? Marissa was leaning to the latter. She was comfortable in the fact that she had fallen for Alex. She had known that for a while. She just didn't know if she should say it or not. But judging from what had almost happened, she guessed that it would have to be sometime soon. That was really the last thing on her mind before she drifted off to sleep.

Alex sighed with relief as she opened the door to Marissa's house, glad to finally be home and looking forward to climbing into bed. After she locked the door again, she silently navigated her way through the dark house, up the stairs and along the hall. Marissa's bedroom door was slightly ajar, and she pushed it open slowly to peer in. she couldn't help but smile as she heard the shallow breaths of her girlfriends slumber, not really managing to make her out in the darkness. She did see a person-sized lump though. Creeping down the hall she went to the bathroom, where she showered quickly, and pulled on some underwear after drying herself off, then headed back into the bedroom. Sneaking in, she closed the door and slowly made her way across the room, before sliding into bed as gently and quietly as she could. But as she heard a sleepy sigh, she knew that Marissa had woken up. And she smiled again, as the brunette turned around to face her, slipping her arm around her waist and pulling them closer so she could snuggle in.

**Marissa**

Hmmm...you smell nice.

Alex's smile widened at Marissa's sleepy remark, as she let her bury her head in the crook of her shoulder.

**Alex**

I didn't mean to wake you up.

**Marissa**

S'okay, I like knowing you're here.

Lifting her head up again, Marissa turned slightly to kiss Alex lightly, before resting her head down again. She squeezed the blonde's waist gently, as Alex wrapped an arm around her, both starting to settle down in the sleep filled atmosphere.

**Marissa**

I love you Alex.

Marissa whispered softly, on the verge of sleep. Still, even though her voice was soft and Alex was almost asleep too, she heard what her girlfriend had said.

**Alex**

I love you too.

After that, both of them slipped into the land of slumber.

The morning came around slowly, and neither of the lovers mentioned anything about what had happened last night as they had started to get up. Alex sat at the breakfast counter, still clad in her underwear and vest top, slowly making her way through a piece of toast. Her distracted eyes stared into space as she thought about what had happened. She knew she hadn't dreamt it. Marissa had actually said it. She just had to work out if she had meant to say it, or if she remembered. And also, if she had heard her say it back. It was beyond confusing.

The blonde didn't really notice that Marissa was pottering around the kitchen in front of her, pouring herself a coffee before she looked up at her. The brunette saw the thoughtful looking crossing Alex's glazed over eyes, and knew instantly that she was thinking about their exchange last night. And suddenly, she knew that right now was the right time. She didn't need to think about it, that was usually her biggest problem. She needed Alex to know.

Smirking, she put her coffee onto the counter and then walked around it until she came to a stand behind Alex, who was still in her daze. Leaning into her softly, she wrapped her arms around her and planted an affectionate kiss on her cheek.

**Marissa**

Morning.

**Alex**

Morning.

Still finding Alex holding that distraction, Marissa decided to end her confusion in a way that wouldn't go unmissed. She moved around, swinging one leg over and onto Alex's lap so that she was straddling her. Then, as she looped her arms around the blonde's neck, she smirked, eyes twinkling, as Alex watched her in amusement. All signs of distraction were beginning to fade.

**Alex**

Hello!

Leaning forward, Marissa kissed her thoroughly, making Alex drop her toast and put her hands around her instead. As their kiss became more hungry, the heat between them caused an electric buzz to shoot between and up them both. Marissa moved one of her hands, letting it glide up under Alex's top instead, and moaning a little into her mouth as the blonde let her hands slide over her ass. Getting more and more turned on by the second, Marissa yanked Alex's top off, needing to get rid of the obstruction. Immediately, she began to kiss and nip down her neck, hands moving to seek out breasts again, which caused a gratifying grunt from Alex.

**Marissa**

Do I have your attention now?

She whispered hoarsely, placing another hot kiss on Alex's neck, before the blonde nodded.

**Alex**

You could say that.

Marissa smirked, taking Alex's mouth once again.

**Marissa**

Good.

She moved a little, holding onto the back of the chair so that one hand was at either side of the blonde, as though she were pinning her there. She looked at Alex intently, locking their eyes together intimately.

**Marissa**

I know what I said last night. And I meant it. I love you.

Immediately, she moved forward again, kissing Alex fiercely. Once again she groaned into the blondes mouth, as she squeezed her ass with one hand which also pulled her up and closer, dragged her fingernails of the other across the small of her back. They remained like that, lost in an urgent kiss before Alex managed to pry them apart, panting a little for air.

**Alex**

I love you too.

Marissa smiled as Alex caught her mouth again, kissing her forcefully until she barely pulled back enough to strip her of the vest she had worn to bed last night, now making them equal. Instead of moving back to kiss Marissa, Alex went lower and took a hard nipple into her mouth, making the brunette moan a little as she tilted her head back. Her hands found their way to tangle in Alex's hair, thoroughly enjoying her lover's administrations. But it wasn't long until Marissa grew impatient, wanting not a long drawn out session, but something more along the lines of instant gratification. She just couldn't wait.

As Marissa slipped a hand down between them, slipping underneath Alex's underwear, Alex followed her actions, getting the distinct feeling that Marissa wanted to get off sooner rather than later. As their hands and bodies moved together, and their breaths grew shallow and ragged, they never looked away from one another's eyes. Both portrayed the words and feelings that they had expressed moments ago, silently communicating between one another. It was Marissa that broke the connection first, burying her head in Alex's shoulder as she came, feeling Alex cum too. She didn't move, and neither did her girlfriend beneath her. Both just remained silent and motionless, panting as they let their feelings wash over them.

**Alex**

We...we still don't know everything about each other.

Alex pointed out, her voice scratchy and low. She watched, as Marissa lifted her head up and shook it lightly. She could see the steadfast expression in Marissa's eyes, the one that told her that it didn't matter. But deep down in her stomach, Alex couldn't help but worry. Maybe Marissa thought she could handle everything, but being faced with certain things that she hadn't told her yet was different from believing it.

**Marissa**

Nothing is gunna stop me from loving you.

Marissa spoke out loud, backing up the look running through her eyes. Alex just looked back at her seriously.

**Alex**

I'm a hard person to deal with Marissa.

At that, Marissa raised a challenging eyebrow, with the smallest trace of a smirk covering her lips.

**Marissa**

Oh, 'cos I'm so easy? We're both fucked up, I know that. I can cope with that. I'm game if you are?

Getting serious again, her hands stroked through Alex's hair softly. She honestly couldn't think of a single scenario that would make her not love her. And that wasn't scaring her. She thought that falling in love again, especially this hard and this fast, would terrify her. But Alex did anything but.

**Alex**

I never said I wasn't. Nothing's gunna stop me from loving you either.

**Marissa**

Two fucked up girls in love. This should be fun!

**Two days later**

**Wednesday**

**CCR**

**2:11pm**

Marissa sat at her desk, her electric blue eyes scanning through the file she had been presented with just over five minutes ago. She tapped the pen she was holding on the desk subconsciously, stopping every now and again to write something in the pages. It was yet another busy day at the publishing house for her, with plenty of people to deal with and lots of work to oversee. It had been before lunchtime that Marissa had tied up her hair and rolled up her sleeves, and despite Leslie providing her with yet another lunch that she had forgotten about, she still hadn't had chance to eat it. Now there were three of her staff sitting in the office, waiting for her to finish overlooking the file they had prepared.

**Leslie**

Marissa?

The brunette looked up from her reading and ceased her pen tapping, over to Leslie who had leaned inside of the office.

**Leslie**

You have a call from your Mom on line two; do you want to take it?

Marissa sighed slowly, biting her bottom lip as she debated whether she had time for a personal call right now. Glancing at her watch, she frowned a little but then nodded as she looked back up at Leslie.

**Marissa**

Yeah, put her through.

Leslie nodded, ducking back into her space so that she could transfer the call. Marissa looked at her employees, holding out a finger to indicate that she would be one minute. Usually she wouldn't think about accepting a call from her parents. But on days like these, when everything went along at warp speed and she had a thousand things to do all at the same time, sometimes she had to make them wait. But that always made her feel guilty. So, as the desk phone rang, she picked it up quickly.

**Marissa**

Hi Mom.

**Kirsten**

Hi honey, I just need you for a minute.

**Marissa**

Good, 'cos a minute is pretty much all I have!

Marissa scoffed ruefully, moving her free hand up to rub her forehead. The day might have been going a lot better if she had actually slept properly last night. As it were, she had been awake half of the night because Alex had been kicking the shit out of some dream guest star. Which of course, had meant that she had been kicked too. Actually, the brunette had gotten so worried by Alex's nightmare that she had woken her up a few times. Nothing had seemed to work though; the dream had been rather persistent and followed the blonde through the night.

**Kirsten**

Your Dad and I are in town on Friday. We were wondering if you wanted to have dinner, and maybe invite Alex?

**Marissa**

Oh, you want me to invite Alex?

**Kirsten**

Is that a problem?

**Marissa**

No, not at all. I think it's time you did meet her. Erm…let me just look…hang on…

Marissa frowned, moving papers around her desk in order to try and find her PDA. She knew it was buried under here somewhere, finding it though was a completely different story. She didn't recall making plans for Friday, but she wanted to check just in case. Plus she had Alex's schedule in it too, which the blonde had updated last night. As one of the women in her office walked over to her desk, she watched and then smiled gratefully as the redhead picked up the PDA from one of the corners and held it out to her.

**Marissa**

Thanks Gail. Okay, let's see. Hey you're lucky. I have nothing down, and Alex is taking Friday off.

**Kirsten**

Great. How about you book us in at a restaurant, around say 8pm? Email me the details.

**Marissa**

Yeah, no problem.

**Kirsten**

Good. Sorry sweetie, I have to go. See you Friday. Love you.

**Marissa**

Love you too, bye.

Marissa put the phone back on its base, and wrote down the initial plans with a couple of offhand suggestions to herself as to where to go. Then, when she had finished, she looked up to see Gail, Ashley and Steve grinning at her teasingly.

**Marissa**

What?

She squeaked, a little defensively but with the signs of a smirk that she couldn't repress. Probably had something to do with the little butterfly of excitement in her stomach at making plans for her parents to meet the girl she loved.

**Steve**

Introducing the family. Getting serious Marissa!

The other two girls laughed at Steve's playful tone, making Marissa smile wider and blush a little. She pulled a face at him at the same time she launched one of the scrunched up pieces of papers littered on her desk.

**Marissa**

Shut up!

**The Purple Heart**

**5:49pm**

**Alex**

What the hell? Who used my knives?

Alex glared around her staff of various chefs and kitchen staff, annoyed that she had just been looking for her knife kit for over ten minutes, until finally locating them in the kitchen. She hated people touching her knives. Most chefs did. She had had them specially made for her, so that they were a perfect weight and size. They were exactly how she wanted them to be, and she couldn't stand it when people used them.

**Derek**

I erm…I think the new kid used them earlier. I don't think he knew they were yours.

Alex looked at her second in command, that was actually hired as the head chef considering she couldn't be in the kitchen all of the time.

**Alex**

They have my name on the pouch Derek, it's not that fucking hard to figure out. Make sure he knows not to use my knives again.

Derek nodded, understanding perfectly Alex's anger. He was like that about his knives too; he didn't know a chef that wasn't like that. The new kid had already started using the boss's knives by the time he had noticed earlier.

**Derek**

Will do. I think someone wants your attention.

Derek pointed to the half wall of glass, making Alex look up to see Marissa hovering by it patiently. Alex walked over, gesturing Marissa to follow her down a little bit to a more private part of the kitchen. She leant on the counter in front of her a little bit, so that she would be able to hear her girlfriend.

**Alex**

Hey, I didn't know you were coming by.

**Marissa**

Yeah, it's just a quick stop actually. I know you're busy.

**Alex**

Wicked busy. So what's up?

**Marissa**

Do you want to go to dinner with my parents on Friday?

Alex stood up a little straighter, somewhat surprised by the blunt question. She hadn't been expecting that, she had been expecting something like a change of plans for tonight or a suggestion of what to do over the weekend. Momentarily, Alex froze inside with absolute terror. Then, as she got a hold over herself, she realised that it had to happen at some point.

**Alex**

Yeah, I would really like that.

She accepted, letting a small smile inch over her lips. Part of her was still terrified. She had never met anyone's parents before; she never had a reason to. And it wasn't like she had a rosy relationship with her own. She had no real example of good parents, and no idea how to act whilst being introduced to them. Still, Alex mused that this whole relationship thing was new to her too, and she was managing. She was sustaining a committed, loving relationship, which had been something she never thought possible. She could go that step further and meet Marissa's parents. If not for anything else then for the brunette.

**Marissa**

Okay great! I'll set it up then.

**Alex**

Okay!

Alex had to chuckle at the happy squeak in Marissa's voice, and the downright giddy expression rushing through her eyes and face.

**Marissa**

Right, I will leave you to work. I'm going to babysit Mia so I'll see you at home.

**Alex**

It won't be late. Probably around 10.

Marissa widened her eyes as she drew her head back a little bit.

**Marissa**

Wow. I get you all to myself this evening?

**Alex**

Yup.

**Marissa**

Can't wait. See you soon.

Alex waved, smiling as she watched Marissa walk away. Looking down, she thought briefly for a moment what Friday night would be like. What she should do, and say, and wear. Slowly, the realisation of what was going to happen settled into her stomach. The nerves crept their way into her, causing her to shudder. She just hoped that she would make a good enough impression.

**Cooper residence**

**6:39pm**

Marissa frowned a little, seeing another car parked in the driveway of her house. She slipped off her sunglasses, tossing them onto the passengers seat as she pulled up alongside the car and switched off the engine. Then, as she looked sideways toward the other car, through the windows, she saw Katie looking back at her.

**Marissa**

Hey.

Slipping out of the car slowly, as Katie did the same, Marissa began to feel uncomfortable. She didn't know why, exactly. There was just a feeling in her stomach that something was amiss. Trying to shrug it off, she opened the back seat of the car and unbuckled a sleeping Mia, and lifted her up carefully.

**Katie**

Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you or anything. I just needed to talk to you.

**Marissa**

Okay. Erm, just give me a few minutes to put Mia into bed and I'll make us some tea or something.

Marissa carried the sleeping child into the house, distinctly aware that Katie was following her closely. She wondered briefly if there was anything wrong with Katie and Taylor. And then she wondered that if that were the case, why Katie would choose to confide in her. After all, they still didn't know one another all that well. Surely she had other friends that she had known for a lot longer, and knew a lot better? It puzzled Marissa. And so did the feeling of discomfort, which hadn't gone away yet.

After putting Mia into bed and kissing her on the forehead, Marissa crept out of the room and pulled the door until it was almost shut. Then, taking in a deep breath as she stood in her hallway, she ran a hand through her hair and glanced down at her watch. It was only almost 7. Alex wouldn't be home for around another three hours. And something in Marissa's stomach wanted Alex home right now.

**Marissa**

So, what did you want to talk to me about? Is everything okay?

As Marissa hoped down the last of the stairs and turned into the living room, she gained Katie's attention, who had been peering at the pictures on her shelves again. She looked as uncomfortable as she felt. With her hands shoved into her jeans pockets, and eyes that looked thoughtful, nervous and weighted.

**Katie**

You still keep pictures of her.

Katie responded, indicating a couple of pictures of Theresa on the shelf. Marissa walked over slowly, looking at them affectionately, before nodding.

**Marissa**

Yeah.

**Katie**

Doesn't Alex mind that?

**Marissa**

No.

Marissa looked up at Katie again, not really wanting the discussion to revolve around Theresa and Alex. For obvious reasons, and then the reason that she hadn't told Alex about Theresa yet. When the blonde asked who the pretty Latino girl was in the pictures, Marissa just told her she was an old, special friend. Alex hadn't pried any more into the subject.

**Marissa**

You had something to tell me?

Marissa reminded the smaller woman, making her jolt and turn to her properly. Her dark eyes dropped to the floor for a moment, as she seemingly debated with herself on what it was she was going to say. But after a moment, she looked up quickly, a more sure and confident look crossing her features.

**Katie**

I love you.

**Marissa**

_What_?

**Katie**

I mean, I'm _in_ love with you.

Marissa looked at Katie, and Katie looked at her. She could see that she was serious, but that couldn't possibly be. Right? It was ridiculous. They hadn't seen one another for years. There was no way this could be real, because there had simply been no time for Katie to fall in love with her. But somewhere in the back of her mind, Marissa knew her old classmate was greatly serious. And the notion of it knocked her for six. She opened her mouth to respond, but found that she had no words, and a lack of breath from the surprise of the declaration. She sucked in a breath, frowning, before clearing her throat and trying again.

**Marissa**

Katie that…you don't…

**Katie**

Yeah I do. I love you Marissa, it's kinda simple.

Katie responded with a small shrug. Marissa's frown grew deeper, as her mind started to catch up with her. What the hell was Katie thinking? Doing this, when they were both in a relationship? Did she actually believe that telling her would change something? That she would leave Alex for her? What really shocked her, was that the seemingly quiet girl had just come right out and said it. Like she moved forward quickly now, without warning, and caught her mouth.

It was awkward. Of course it was awkward. And different. At first, Marissa didn't know what to do exactly. She froze, for a moment in complete shock that Katie was kissing her. Then the alarm bells began to ring inside her head, shocking her out of the rigid daze she had been thrown into. And as soon as that happened, she moved her hands and pushed Katie away.

**Marissa**

What the hell are you thinking? I'm with someone.

**Katie**

So am I.

**Marissa**

Look, I don't know what you expected when you came here. But I love my girlfriend. Do you understand me? I love her.

**Katie**

And I love Taylor. Just…just not like I love you.

Marissa groaned, putting her hands onto her head as she turned her back on Katie for a second. Why did things like this insist on happening to her?

**Katie**

I always loved you. Back in school? You were like this ethereal goddess, I couldn't resist. You were always so far away, protected by your friends, but you were still nice to me. And I didn't realise, until that day in your office, that I still carried that around with me. And now you're just even more beautiful.

Marissa sighed, turning around after listening to Katie's little story. One hand still caught up in her hair, and a weary look placed into her glowing blue eyes. But also a caring look, with a slight hint of pity and regret.

**Marissa**

Katie, I am sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't notice you properly back then. I guess I was too caught up in my own issues. So much has happened between then and now. You need to know, that nothing is ever going to come of this. I'm with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love her so much, and there is nothing that's going to change that.

**Katie**

But…

**Marissa**

Please don't…

**Alex**

Hey baby. God, you would not believe the fucking shitty day that…oh. I'm really sorry, I didn't realise you had company.

Marissa turned around quickly, wide eyed and guilty like she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar before dinner. Despite the immediate terror that gripped her, in case Alex had been stood there for a while and had gone unnoticed, she was still overwhelmingly grateful to have her home early. She had gotten the feeling that getting it through to Katie that nothing was going to happen between them was going to be an arduous task, and she really didn't want to go through it with her. Having Alex here, it gave her a feeling of support, and she knew would reinforce the fact over to Katie.

**Marissa**

It's okay. Erm…this is…this is Katie Warner.

Marissa pointed backward at Katie, still looking at Alex with a mountain of emotions running through her that she knew the blonde caught. Seemingly enough, Alex didn't know what was going on. She really must have just stepped in, talking until she realised that there was someone else here. Marissa nervously watched her girlfriend smile, as she stepped forward until she came to stand next to her, and extended her hand out toward Katie.

**Alex**

Hey, I'm Alex. You guys went to school together, right?

Alex briefly remembered Marissa telling her about Katie, and another girl. Taylor, that was it. Katie and Taylor had recently re-emerged from her past. They had been hanging out, getting to know one another again. Alex knew she should have realised, by seeing another car in the driveway, that there was someone else here. But her mind had been completely in a land of its own, and it hadn't really registered. But now she had come back to herself, she picked up on the extremely heavy and uncomfortable tension in the room. She thought maybe she had walked in on some kind of argument or something. She wasn't sure. What she did know was that Marissa seemed rather glad she had walked in.

**Katie**

Yeah, we did. I'm sorry, I should go.

Alex frowned pulling her hand back as Katie navigated around her and almost fled out of the front door. Just like that, she was gone. Alex turned to look at Marissa, who let out a shaky, relieved breath.

**Alex**

Something I said?

The blonde quipped light heartedly, before frowning softly as Marissa hugged her tightly.

**Marissa**

Thank you.

**Alex**

For what?

**Marissa**

Coming home early.

**Alex**

Are you okay?

Marissa pulled back, having regained herself a little bit. She pushed a strand of Alex's hair out the way of her eyes, before sighing deeply.

**Marissa**

You wanna go and get a bottle of wine and meet me in the bathroom?

Alex could tell it was a little more than a request. Not an order exactly, but obviously what Marissa wanted to happen. So she nodded, still very confused but unable to deny her girlfriend. She just watched, as Marissa nodded and then pulled away, making her way out of the room and up the stairs. So the chef did as she was told. She moved through to the kitchen, picked a bottle of wine and grabbed the corkscrew and two glasses before following the brunette upstairs.

As she approached the bedroom door, Alex felt her phone start to vibrate in her pocket. As she leaned in slightly, to check if Marissa was in there, she slipped the bottle under her arm, and managed to fish her phone out from the pocket to answer it. As she looked on the caller ID, she cringed before answering it.

**Alex**

Piper, what's up? Uh hu. Okay. No that isn't right. No.

The blonde frowned, inching her way down the hallway, until she stood outside of the bathroom. She could hear the water filling the bath, and as she pushed the door just enough to see inside, she could see her girlfriend checking the bubbly water before turning off the taps. Alex sighed.

**Alex**

I can't. Piper I can't. I have something going on at home. Yes it's fucking important. Can we remember just who works for who here please? Okay.

By the time that Alex had snapped her phone shut irritably, and pushed the door open so she could walk in, Marissa was already in the bath. There were candles lit across the room, making it glow with an almost magical shimmer. Still, the air was lethargic and tense.

**Marissa**

Do you have to go back?

Marissa asked, looking sideways at Alex as she came into the bathroom. She had caught the one sided conversation, and a foreboding feeling had moved in across her stomach.

**Alex**

No, they can manage.

Alex pushed the door shut, taking in how relieved the brunette seemed to be. Obviously there was something wrong, and Marissa needed her to be here. So the club could wait. Her staff could cope. She wasn't going anywhere.

**Marissa**

Get in.

Alex stepped forward, and placed the wine glasses on a small square table next to the bath. She was aware that Marissa was watching her, as she uncorked the bottle and then poured some of the wine into each class. After that was done, and she had placed the corkscrew and bottle onto the table too, Alex looked back at Marissa before shredding herself of her clothes and climbing into the bath. She sat down carefully, and then leaned back against Marissa, who wrapped her arms around her tightly and kissed her temple softly.

**Marissa**

I love you. I love you _so _much.

Alex put her hand onto Marissa's, picking up a sad, anxious and lost tone running through her lovers whisper. She had never detected quite that combination before, mixed in with how tired Marissa seemed. It worried her.

**Alex**

I know. I love you too. Marissa, what's wrong?

Marissa drew in a long, thoughtful breath. Her brow furrowed slightly, as she moved to pick up one of the glasses of wine and took a large sip.

**Marissa**

I lied to you.

**Alex**

About what?

Alex responded calmly, getting the distinct feeling that there was a whole lot of explanation waiting to follow that statement. She accepted the other glass that Marissa picked up and handed to her silently, making sure that the brunette had the opportunity to continue.

**Marissa**

Theresa.

**Alex**

Your friend? The one in the picture?

The blonde wondered in a confused squeak, imagining the pictures from downstairs in her head. She turned a little bit in Marissa's arms, enough to look at her, take in her sombre expression.

**Marissa**

She wasn't my friend Alex. She was my girlfriend. My first.

Alex looked at Marissa as Marissa looked back at her. She wondered, from the expectant look on the brunette's face, how exactly she was expecting her to react. As though she thought she might be mad, or jealous or just something that she wasn't feeling right now. What she was feeling right now, was worried about the vibe she was getting. Alex assumed there must have been a reason Marissa had waited to explain about her ex, which she could understand. But she couldn't help but think that all of this had something to do with that girl from downstairs, that had practically run out of the door.

**Alex**

Okay. So why didn't you just tell me that?

**Marissa**

Because I wasn't ready to tell you what happened between us. But I want to do that now.

**Alex**

Okay.

Alex nodded, recognising that Marissa had more or less asked if she could explain.

**Marissa**

Before all that shit started with my real parents, the Cohen's took in a kid. She was from Echo Park. Her brother had gotten into trouble. Her Mom split town and her Dad was in jail. So they took her in. She stayed in their pool house. And she started coming to our school. As soon as I saw her, something in me clicked into place. Everything became so clear. After a little while, we started going out. She was…she was so special. Different. What we had was intense. It was hard, but worth it. What we had was beautiful. Whilst it lasted. We were on again off again, like most teenagers. But we never stopped loving each other. She was there for me when I got kicked out. She was there for me no matter what. Theresa change me. Our relationship changed me. It was her that taught me how to be strong.

Marissa looked down into the water, frowning slightly as the memories drifted past her eyes and a rush of emotion flooded her senses. At some point, she had taken Alex's hand in her own, entwining their fingers together. She looked up again, to see that the blonde was listening intently, patiently.

**Marissa**

She died. After graduation. We were driving, and we got hit. The car turned over and crashed. We both got out, but she was hurt really bad. Some passers by called an ambulance, but it was too late. I was holding her, telling her to stay awake. I kept shouting at her, begging her not to close her eyes. Not to stop talking to me. But she did. She let go. She died in my arms.

As her heart sank for her girlfriend, Alex reached forward to wipe some of the tears rolling down Marissa's face gently. She knew that this was one of the biggest weights that Marissa carried around with her. This was what ate away at her, and put that unbelievably pained look in her eyes.

**Alex**

I'm sorry.

**Marissa**

Something inside of me died with her. Something I thought I would never get back. But then I met you, and I felt it again. What happened, it's gunna stay with me. It really, _really _fucked me over. But you make me feel safe to move on. And Theresa would have wanted that. She would have kicked my ass for letting myself fall apart. She would have liked you.

Marissa smiled faintly, brushing down Alex's face gently. She didn't have a doubt in her mind that Theresa would have liked Alex. They were very similar on a lot of levels. Particularly the protectiveness, and the loyalty.

**Alex**

I think I would've liked her too.

**Marissa**

I want you to understand that part of me will always love her. I miss her. And those pictures…

Alex put her finger over her girlfriends lips to stop her talking as she shook her head faintly.

**Alex**

I understand. I would never ever ask you to take them down. And I would never ever ask you to stop loving or missing her. I get it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

**Marissa**

Thank you.

Alex simply nodded, not flinching or looking away as Marissa's eyes settled into her. The air had changed a little bit. Marissa seemed calmed now, but still there was something nibbling at her thoughts. Alex was both glad and nervous about what had just happened. Marissa departing with what she had just told her, it was a huge step. Obviously, she didn't share this or talk about it. Alex had received so many hints from Summer and Seth, even Marissa herself, that this had been on of if not the hardest time of her life. Alex was overwhelmed that Marissa felt secure enough to share it with her. But somewhere, deep in the back of her mind, she wondered if she could do the same. She felt the time slipping away from her, when she had the safety of telling her girlfriend properly. Alex just didn't know if she was brave enough to do it, despite how much she wanted to.

**Marissa**

I think there's something else I should tell you. It's about Katie.

Alex looked up again, having let her gaze drift down to the water. A curious pang floated through her as she saw Marissa bite her lip lightly, her eyes showing blatantly that she was grappling with what to say exactly. Somewhere inside of her head, Alex thought she knew what was coming.


	16. The Rise

**Chapter sixteen - The Rise**

**Thursday**

**Kelly Residence**

**7:34pm**

**Marissa**

C'mon Alex, please?

Marissa looked across the room at her girlfriend, desperately pleading with her eyes. The blonde was currently doing her best to ignore her whining, and laid on her bed, her attention focused on the book in her hand. The brunette wondered if her initial judgement of telling Alex about Katie was right, considering it had made her moody since she had. Alex had seemingly taken it sort of well, or rather, hadn't overreacted about it, in the bathroom. But she had been glowering ever since, asking questions here and there and thinking about it. Marissa knew the blonde thought she wasn't being obvious, but she was.

**Alex**

No. Ask your other girlfriend to take you.

**Marissa**

Okay, you gotta stop thinking about this. And stop punishing me.

**Alex**

I'm not.

Alex still didn't look away from her book, and her voice kept at that calm, distant level that completely betrayed what she had just said. Marissa sighed softly, running a hand through her brown locks before walking forward toward the bed. She climbed onto it, and started to crawl her way upward, over Alex. Gently, she pried the book out of her girlfriend's hands, and placed it onto the bed.

**Alex**

I was reading that.

Alex protested quietly, not moving as Marissa finished her ascent up the bed. She straddled Alex's waist, and made herself comfortable before she shook her head ever so softly.

**Marissa**

No you weren't. It's not my fault. I didn't ask for this.

Alex sighed, breaking her eyes away from Marissa's and toward her bedroom window. It was getting windy outside, and the sky was getting darker. Alex thought briefly that it might rain. Then she sighed again, her attention moving back onto this situation with Marissa and Katie. She was right, of course. It wasn't Marissa's fault. Alex knew that, she just didn't know where to put this uneasiness that she was feeling. It was mounting up inside of her. Not just this, but everything. It was too scary to face and it was too scary not to. So for the moment, Alex concentrated on this one thing.

**Alex**

I know. But you tell me what I'm supposed to do. Or how to feel. Tell me how I can accept your friend, and client, being in love with you.

Marissa tilted her head, giving Alex a gentle, loving look as she reached her hand forward to brush through silky strands of her hair. Then, she leant forward a little; before giving her lover such a fleeting kiss that it almost wasn't there. Her hand cupped the side of her face, her thumb stroking soft skin tenderly.

**Marissa**

I can't.

Marissa whispered, still hovering her face next to Alex's.

**Marissa**

You just have to trust me. And trust in my love for you.

She lifted her other hand up, to take the other side of Alex's face. The blonde didn't move, or object. Her breathing had deepened, become a little shaky even. She kissed Marissa back this time, as the brunette kissed her again. Still fleetingly, but for a little longer this time. The most intimate of kisses.

**Marissa**

Can you do that?

**Alex**

Yeah, I can do that.

Marissa smiled softly, her lips just touching Alex's. The brunette opened her mouth a little bit, in indication that she was going to initiate another kiss. But she pulled away just a little bit, teasingly, before moving in and taking Alex's mouth properly.

Marissa still hadn't managed to get Alex out of the house. Although, after she had made her girlfriend feel better about the whole thing, Marissa hadn't particularly wanted to go out anymore. She had settled down into the bed with the blonde, using her as a very comfortable human pillow, as they decided to watch a film and just relax. They had both been so busy lately that neither one of them realised how tired they were. After a little while, they got changed and settled down to sleep.

At first she only became aware of a small noise, penetrating her peaceful slumber. It made her realise, for a brief second, that she was dreaming. It didn't happen often, but when it did Marissa usually took the opportunity to explore the visions inside her head. What people could dream was amazing, and it was an amazing feeling to know you were asleep and in your dream. But it didn't last very long. She became distracted, her attention fading away from her imaginings, therefore destroying them. As the world around her began to fade, and her consciousness moved further into reality, she concentrated on that noise. But it wasn't just a noise anymore, it was movement. A frantic, sort of struggling movement. Quickly, as she realised what was happening somewhere inside of her mind, she forced herself awake. Despite the stinging in her eyes, she forced them open and blinked in the darkness of the room.

**Marissa**

Alex…

As Marissa sat up on her elbows, she turned her head to one side, toward the side of the bed that Alex slept in. She didn't need to strain her eyes to know that Alex was asleep, she could tell that already, because she was having a nightmare. Again. And that was what had pulled her out of her own sleep.

**Marissa**

Baby wake up.

Marissa rolled onto her side for a moment, long enough to reach out her arm and switch the bedside lamp on. When she turned around again, she frowned in worry. Alex had kicked her side of the sheets away, and the cover underneath was pulled out. She was covered in sweat, and the look on her face was somewhere along the line of terrified. Marissa touched her lovers arm, then pulled it back for a moment in surprised. Alex was red hot.

**Marissa**

Alex, come on wake up. It's okay…

Shaking it off, Marissa put her hand on Alex's arm again, determined to get her to wake up. She couldn't let her girlfriend stay in the place that she was dreaming about. Her body was jerking and squirming, and her face looked pained and afraid. Not to mention the groaning. So Marissa half kneeled, putting one hand on Alex's shoulder, and cupping the side of her face with the other.

**Marissa**

_Alex!_

Raising her voice a little, as well as shaking her girlfriend a little, Marissa leapt back quickly as she elicited a response. Alex sat up immediately, almost hitting her along the way. She drew in strangled gasps, her body shaking a little as her eyes went wide with panic. Instantly, Marissa moved forward again, wrapping her arms around the blonde's shoulders. Alex's first response was to panic a little, but when she realised it was Marissa, she relaxed.

**Marissa**

It's okay, I'm here. It's over.

Alex relaxed, taking comfort in Marissa's voice and embrace. As her body came down off of it's adrenaline rush after waking up, her breathing started to calm some. Upon looking around the room, which was bathed in the soft glow of the lamp, she realised it was her own. She was home, and she was safe. And for a second she let that feeling wash over her. She remembered that she was with someone that loved her, and that her family were down the hall. It was an amazing feeling. Until, inevitably, it got sucked away. Replaced by all the fears and the doubts, all the little demons that lived inside of her head.

**Alex**

Marissa I'm fine, it was just a dream.

Shrugging her girlfriend away, Alex sighed as she turned away from the brunette, swinging her legs out of the bed so she was sat on the edge. Her heart pounded, with the memories of her dream and the realisation that the time to come clean was fast approaching. That thought made her head spin, made her feel sick.

**Marissa**

Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Alex sighed softly, cringing slightly upon hearing the deflated and slightly wounded tone. Turned around a little bit, she cast an apologetic glance to the woman she loved.

**Alex**

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you.

Marissa looked over at her questioningly, as though she were slightly weary, but also with a look of understanding. As she put her pillows right, she cleared her throat and scratched her forehead lightly.

**Marissa**

What is it that you dream about?

Alex looked away, this time gazing toward the floor as she pushed down that wave of sickness that hit her. Her body lurched slightly as the memories hit her, as thought they had physically rammed into her. Once again clearing her throat, not being able to fend off a scowl, she stood up quickly.

**Alex**

Don't remember. Just…go back to sleep, you have work in a few hours.

Marissa sighed, unhappy with the explanation as she watched her girlfriend walk the length of the room, then disappear out of the door. She looked at it for a few seconds, as though it would reveal something about the situation. Every time she asked Alex about her dreams, she clammed up. It was instantaneous. It had only been recently that these nightmares had started coming on. Marissa had thought back to the first night they had spent together, and she couldn't remember any nightmare episodes. She found it odd, that Alex should start having them now. And she found it odder that she refused to talk about them. She always managed to change the topic, or distract her, or simply remove herself from the conversation, like she just had. It perplexed Marissa. She had wondered if it had anything to do with her fear of fire, but then couldn't understand why Alex didn't just tell her that. After all, she already knew about it. It just didn't make sense. That was the last real thought that went through her head, as her body pulled her back into sleep again. She wanted to stay awake, maybe wait for Alex to come back to bed. But she was so tired, and it was true she did have work soon. It wasn't long before she started to get immersed into that world again. But just before she went completely under, she did register that she wasn't alone in bed anymore. She noticed that Alex had gotten back in, and she smiled ever so lightly as she felt the gentle kiss on her forehead.

**Friday**

**CCR**

**2:13pm**

**Marissa**

I understand. Yeah, I'm gunna leave now. Thanks Ryan.

Before she even said goodbye, Marissa was on her feet. She placed the phone down, and then walked toward the office door, opening it then leaned out a little.

**Marissa**

I need you for a moment.

Ducking back inside, Marissa grabbed her suit jacket and strode back toward her desk. Leaning down, she grabbed her case before dropping it onto her desk, looking up for a moment as Leslie appeared in her line of vision.

**Leslie**

Everything okay?

Marissa shrugged, frowning as she put the things she needed from her desk into her case, then organised the things she was leaving here.

**Marissa**

I have no idea. All I know is that something is wrong with Alex. So I'm going home. I need you to cancel my afternoon appointments, and tell Summer to cover for me in our client meeting.

**Leslie**

Consider it done. Do you want me to drive you home?

Marissa looked up again, after turning her computer off. A smile wondered onto her lips as she looked at Leslie affectionately. Even after what she had been through with her real Mother, the pain and void it had burnt into her, she considered herself lucky. Because most people didn't get a second chance. And that's how she felt sometimes. She had Kirsten, that had taken her in and basically adopted her. She had become her Mother. But it didn't end there. Marissa also had Leslie, who in a lot of ways, had done the same. She had two Mother figures that loved her, and that made her very lucky.

**Marissa**

No, it's okay. But thank you. She's not hurt or anything. She's just…

**Leslie**

Having a nervous breakdown?

Leslie offered simply. Marissa would have laughed, but Leslie had been serious and it was almost the exact phrase that Ryan had actually described his sister with.

**Marissa**

Pretty much! She's never actually done this before, so she's pretty nervous. Least I can do is go calm her down.

Shrugging on her jacket, Marissa smirked a little. After her initial worry, now that she thought about it, the image of Alex freaking out over tonight's dinner was pretty funny. She was so strong in so many ways. She liked to keep up her image as this mysterious, cool girl that could handle anything. And she was those things. She ran an entire company, she handled a busy kitchen. She kept a home, was helping her brother set up a business and raise his daughter. But Marissa knew Alex a lot better than most people. She had her vulnerabilities too, and her insecurities. And although it wasn't funny in the sense of Alex's parents had abandoned her, it was pretty funny that she was loosing her head over one single dinner. Maybe it was just funnier for her, because she knew her parents.

**Leslie**

Just don't wear her out before dinner.

Marissa dropped her jaw, squeaking in shock and trying to look innocent. It didn't work though, Leslie still pinned her with a knowing look. She guessed there were just some things you couldn't hide from your work Mother. Grabbing her case, she walked around the desk, looking at Leslie as she walked across the room with her.

**Marissa**

If I knew what you were insinuating, which I don't of course, my response would be so could never happen, the girl is a stallion.

Leslie shook her head, chuckling as she made her way back to her desk.

**Leslie**

Shameless! Good luck.

**Kelly residence**

**3:01pm**

**Marissa**

Oh my god. What's going on?

After swinging by her own place, to drop off her work things and pick up what she needed for tonight, Marissa had found the drive to her girlfriend's house quick and easy. The excitement about tonight had already began to build up in her, and she couldn't stop herself from playing out various scenarios in her head. When she had arrived at the house, she had met Ryan at the door. He informed her that Alex had been erratic and pretty much insane since she had gotten up this morning, which hadn't been long since she had gone to work herself. Marissa thought back to this morning. She had woken up entangled in the sheets, with Alex's arm strewn across her stomach. The blonde hadn't stirred much when she had been getting ready, as quietly as possible. After she had kissed her goodbye, she had managed to catch Holly on her way out of the room, before the youngster could get in and wake her Aunt up.

Now, she found the room completely covered with scattered clothes. They were everywhere. It looked like Alex had raided an entire store there were so many clothes strewn about haphazardly. The blonde was stood in front of her near empty closet, in her underwear. As she turned around, Marissa saw the worried frown covering her face, and immediately thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

**Alex**

I have no idea what to wear.

Alex answered simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. And as though it was perfectly normal for someone to throw most of what they owned in their closet onto the floor.

**Marissa**

Wear whatever you want.

Marissa responded lightly, smirking as her eyes scanned the chaos again, before looking back at Alex.

**Alex**

I can't. It has to be perfect.

The brunette walked across the room, trying to avoid standing on anything, and slid her arms around Alex as she stood up behind her, and hugged her tightly. She drew a breath in, then sighed slowly, her cheek pressed up against Alex's.

**Marissa**

You always look perfect to me.

She whispered genuinely, pulling Alex as far into her as she could. Alex scoffed lightly, before turning around in her arms, smirking a little now. Her eyebrows were raised challengingly, and her eyes sparkled playfully.

**Alex**

No, I always look fuck-able to you!

Marissa drew her head back, a mischievous glint crossing her glowing eyes and an evil smirk crossing her lips. For the second time today, she tried to look innocent, as she feigned shock.

**Marissa**

That isn't perfect?

Alex nudged her softly, trying to look disgruntled and mad. All she could muster was a meagre little pout that she knew Marissa could see through easily.

**Alex**

Not for meeting your parents. I can't meet them and telegraph that I'm the one fucking their daughter.

It was the serious whine that made Marissa chuckle, before leaning forward to kiss Alex slowly put deeply. She let her head move up to tangle in silky hair, as she let Alex deepen the kiss further. Still slow, and languid and loving. Right now, it occurred to Marissa why exactly it was that she had fallen in love with Alex. And why she wanted to stay that way forever. She realised that this was what her parents had, what Summer and Seth had and what she had been searching for without knowing it for a long time. She knew that she didn't even have this with Theresa, never came close to it with Jesse. She never wanted it with anyone else. And that made her confident about tonight. She knew, could feel, that everything was going to go well. Everything was going to be fine. She loved Alex, and Alex loved her.

**Marissa**

You are so cute when you're freaking out.

Alex scowled, licking her lips slightly as she pulled away from Marissa, but not out of her embrace. Her girlfriend laughed as she slapped her on the arm lightly for that, again not being able to do anything about the pout that took over her face.

**Alex**

I am not!

**Marissa**

Yes you are. Are you really worried about this?

**Alex**

A little, yeah. I just, I don't have much experience with parents. I keep thinking 'what if they don't like me?'.

**Marissa**

They will like you.

**Alex**

You think?

**Marissa**

I know. Hey, stop worrying okay? It's going to be fine, I promise.

Alex didn't know what it was about Marissa's enthusiastic reassurances that made her feel better, but it did the trick. She nodded slightly, letting the butterflies in her stomach fly away for a while. Despite everything that was going on in her head right now, Alex wanted this to happen. She desperately wanted to make Marissa happy, and to be happy with her. So she decided to let it all go. At least for tonight. So she accepted her girlfriends kiss again, and registered that this time it was a little more than languid and slow. This time it was devouring and intense, and Alex suddenly found herself forgetting about her worries even more as she felt Marissa's hands burn across her skin. She knew exactly how to take her mind off of everything, and it very much involved the woman in front of her.

After 'relaxing' for a while, and lounging around tangled up in one another in bed, it came time for the couple to start getting ready. They got showered, and Marissa kept checking on her girlfriends mental state as they had done their hair and started to get dressed. But apparently Alex had found a way to distract herself as she went about getting ready. After getting out of the shower, the blonde had put some music on, and was concentrating on singing along with the words. It made Marissa smile, for a couple of reasons. She still found it cute that the supposedly badass Alex Kelly was nervous about meeting her parents, but she also liked the opportunity to listen to Alex sing. Rarely did anyone get the privilege since Alex was so private about her singing. Marissa wasn't sure why, it's not like anyone could tell her she was bad at it. Completely the opposite. Still, she didn't say anything, she just savoured the experience. She just watched happily, sitting on the edge of Alex's bed ready to go, as her girlfriend finished her last touches. She still sung along to her CD, which was playing After All by Delerium. Then, as the song finished, Alex turned around, obviously now ready to meet her fate.

**Marissa**

Ready to meet the Cohen's, Miss Kelly?

**Alex**

Let's find out, shall we?

**At the restaurant **

**7:55pm**

They had been at the restaurant for some ten or fifteen minutes now, sitting at the bar with their respective drinks, waiting for their daughter and her new girlfriend. Kirsten didn't think she could really call Alex a 'new' girlfriend though; they had been dating for a while now. Long enough to be through most of the honeymoon period, long enough to have their first real fight. But she was new to them. She didn't speculate on why it had taken Marissa so long to get around to introducing them either. Not really. It wasn't that she minded, or was mad at her daughter. If she really thought about it, she knew it wasn't anything to do with them as parents.

Blinking out of her short reverie, Kirsten looked up and couldn't help but smirk softly as she watched her husband fidget in his seat. It was almost like he had ants in his pants, he had been doing it since they got here. Come to think of it, he had been a little ancy when he was getting ready back at the hotel.

**Kirsten**

Honey, stop fidgeting.

Sandy looked toward his wife, with a big eyed expression that didn't at all shield what he was feeling right now.

**Sandy**

Well I'm anxious.

**Kirsten**

Why?

Taking in a breath, the dark haired lawyer shrugged subtly, opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Clearing his throat, he frowned a little, obviously thinking over his answer. A moment later, he opened his mouth to speak again.

**Sandy**

I'm worried. Marissa is…well…Marissa. I don't want this one to be as destructive as the last one.

He finally admitted, trying to word it the right way. It wasn't as though he thought Marissa was broken, or that he didn't believe she could sustain a healthy relationship with someone. He did believe that, he believed in her. But there was no getting around the fact that his daughter was damaged. She had waded through some sort of darkness for the whole of her life. And her relationship record, well it wasn't squeaky clean. As much as he had loved Theresa, the relationship that they had shared at been hard and devastating. After that, Marissa had dated on and off, never letting herself get too close to anyone in fear of being hurt. Which of course, had inevitably hurt her anyway. Then came Jesse. The girl she had chosen to take a change on, to open up to, and she had been completely gutted. Again Marissa had taken to her old habit of dating on and off, never letting herself feel anything much with anyone. Until now. He was nervous for her.

**Kirsten**

I know, I don't either. But she's been different lately. Good different. And when Seth and Summer are behind this I tend to believe them.

Sandy smiled, remembering how encouraging Seth and Summer had been about the whole thing. As Marissa had been dodging some questions about her relationship, Seth and Summer had been there to assure him everything was fine. Well, Summer had been. Seth had raved about Alex being into comics and how good she was on the Playstation. Summer however, had told him about the business Alex had run, how she made Marissa feel and how she treated her. Getting Summer's approval was hard enough, but getting her to rave about you was harder.

**Sandy**

Well no one is more protective over her than Summer.

**Kirsten**

Exactly. Let's just be open and trust Marissa on this.

**Sandy**

Stop making sense, it's annoying.

Kirsten laughed before leaning forward and kissing him lightly. Of course, he wasn't alone with his anxiety. She felt it too. But she also felt excited and hopeful. Marissa really had changed lately, she could tell that even from Orange County. Every time they spoke, she could hear it in her voice. And when they had come for dinner, she had seen it in her eyes.

As she started to pull back, Kirsten's eyes wondered over toward the entrance, where she caught a glimpse of someone familiar. Focusing properly, she saw that it was indeed Marissa walking in and toward the hostess' stand. She took in how amazing she looked, how healthy and radiant and glowing. As soon as she had walked in, she had caught the attention of a lot of people. Not that she was aware of that, of course. She just went up to the hostess and talked to her with a smile, her hand gripped in that of another. Kirsten looked at the blonde following her daughter closely, and immediately quirked an eyebrow.

**Kirsten**

Wow…

Seeing his wife's stunned face, Sandy turned around to see what she was looking at. Immediately he saw Marissa, and the girl that had to have been Alex. The very strikingly beautiful girl that had to be Alex. Seth really hadn't been exaggerating when he said Alex was gorgeous.

**Sandy**

See, she really is my kid. She seems to have a weakness for beautiful blondes!

As the hostess pointed in their direction, making Marissa and Alex look over, the couple waved and smiled warmly. They watched, as Marissa thanked the hostess, and then glanced back encouragingly at Alex before starting to walk forward in their direction.

**Kirsten**

She seems so happy.

**Sandy**

Nice, isn't it?

**Kirsten**

Very.

Both Kirsten and Sandy stood up, ceasing in their observations as the girls approached them. Marissa and Alex released each others hands, leaving Marissa free to lean forward happily and hug her parents.

**Kirsten**

Aww hi Sweetie.

**Marissa**

Hi Mom. I missed you.

**Kirsten**

I missed you too.

Kirsten smiled widely, holding Marissa warmly as she took in how beautiful she looked. Just in black pants, a white top with a soft velvet black fitted jacket Marissa looked the epitome of elegant. Kirsten marvelled at how her daughter could literally put on anything and look good in it. She let the brunette go, smiling as she watched her move over to Sandy to give him a hug too.

**Marissa**

Hey Dad, how're you?

**Sandy**

I'm good, how're you?

**Marissa**

I'm great.

As she pulled back, with an unadulterated smile, she looked behind her excitedly. Alex had thus far tried to remain hidden, hovering behind her as best she could. Giving her a knowing, confident smile, Marissa reached back to take her hand and pulled her forward gently. Her eyes lingered on Alex for a moment longer. Alex had chosen to wear a new, gorgeous green dress she had bought a few weeks ago that looked slightly vintage, and very her. She wore some black tights with it, with red heels and a red and white shawl that topped the look. Marissa knew she was going to find it hard to concentrate on anything other than Alex tonight.

**Marissa**

Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend.

She stated simply, squeezing Alex's hand supportively. She knew she could have come up with a better introduction. After all, she introduced countless of people all of the time at work. But she wanted to give Alex the opportunity to do it herself, so that she could start the ball rolling with her parents. And it seemed, the blonde caught onto her line of thinking, or just rolled with it instead of freezing up, because she extended her hand out with a warm smile.

**Alex**

Alex Kelly.

**Kirsten**

It's so nice to meet you Alex, I'm Kirsten. This is my husband Sandy.

Kirsten responded first, shaking Alex's hand politely as she introduced herself and Sandy. Immediately she could see what Marissa saw in Alex. She was very beautiful with alarmingly penetrating eyes. It wasn't just the beauty though. It was the mysterious presence and the tough exterior. Marissa had a certain type, and that was it. A rebellious, badass air. Alex also boasted a level of pain and damage in her eyes that actually rivalled Marissa's, leading Kirsten to conclude that they had perhaps connected from that too. But they had a comfortableness about them, leading her to think that it was a good thing. That it was good Alex could understand Marissa, and visa versa.

**Alex**

Hi.

**Sandy**

We've heard a lot about you.

Sandy said, shaking Alex's hand also. Alex glanced at Marissa for a moment, who just shrugging innocently. Alex smirked, before looking back at Sandy and Kirsten, shaking her head lightly.

**Alex**

I'm honestly not as bad as she makes out!

Marissa scoffed playfully, nudging Alex lightly as she widened her eyes.

**Marissa**

Don't lie to my parents!

As Kirsten and Sandy laughed, Alex smirked but bit her lip lightly as she looked at Marissa again, nudging her back as she felt herself go a little pink. Marissa chuckled at her, before squeezing her hand again before clearing her throat.

**Sandy**

So wow, I'm surrounded by 3 beautiful ladies, lucky me.

Kirsten rolled her eyes, looking at her husband as he squared out a little bit, trying to look manly.

**Kirsten**

He likes to think he's a charmer.

She explained, mostly to Alex who laughed lightly, catching the easy and loving atmosphere between the two of them. It was beyond obvious that Kirsten actually did think her husband was charming. They had this air about them, this magic. They worked.

**Sandy**

Well it comes so naturally.

Sandy shrugged boyishly in defense of himself, before looking past Marissa as the hostess walked toward them, smiling politely.

**Hostess**

I can show you to your table now, if you're ready?

**Sandy**

Yes I think we're ready.

Sandy let Kirsten set off first, then followed his wife and the hostess as they weaved through the tables of happy diners. Marissa and Alex followed, still hand in hand. The brunette looked at Alex, a proud sparkle running through her eyes. She could tell already that her girlfriend had made a good impression on her parents. She knew them. And it had happened the other way round too. Like so many others, Alex had picked up and was impressed with her parents' connection. In a lot of ways, it was like Seth and Summer's.

**Hostess**

You're waiter will be with you in a moment.

**Kirsten**

Thank you.

As everyone got seated, and the hostess had left their menus on the table, there was a short, slightly awkward pause. Marissa cleared her throat, still holding Alex's hand under the table.

**Marissa**

So where are you staying?

**Kirsten**

In a hotel.

Immediately, Marissa frowned.

**Marissa**

Mom. You should have said, you could have stayed at my house.

**Kirsten**

I know Sweetie. It's fine. We just didn't want to bother you.

**Marissa**

You wouldn't have. Tell me next time, okay?

**Sandy**

Gee, getting scolded by your kid is fun!

Sandy cracked, smiling teasingly and breaking the slightly tense atmosphere by making everyone laugh. After that, things had started to pick up. The group had ordered a bottle of wine, before starting to browse through the menus to pick out their orders. As usual, Marissa had asked Alex to tell her about something on the menu, and joked that Alex had become her menu translator. That in turn of course, had lead to talking about Alex's career. Both Sandy and Kirsten had been interested in that, wanting to learn more about what exactly the blonde did. All they really knew was that she was a chef and owned her own club/restaurant. That and she had been featured in various magazines, and was currently nominated to be on the best chef list in Los Angeles.

**Sandy**

That's impressive. Are you excited?

Alex drew in a slow breath as she brushed a strand of hair out the way of her face, thinking over Sandy's question for a second.

**Alex**

Well, I don't know really. I was kinda surprised when they told me about it, and I haven't had much time to think about it since. I really doubt anything will come of it though.

Marissa drew her head back as she gazed at her girlfriend, shocked that she had said that. Alex had been the only one to be surprised about the consideration; everyone else had totally expected it. But to actually doubt she would make the list at all surprised her.

**Marissa**

You are so deluded. She really is getting on that list, her food is amazing.

Marissa insisted, deciding that if Alex wasn't going to blow her own horn she would do it for her. She knew it wasn't Alex's way. She didn't fit the chef mould when it came to being egotistical. She had the temperament all right, and she demanded a lot out of her under chefs, but she didn't think she was the be all and end all.

**Sandy**

Where did you study?

Alex raised her eyebrows, midway through taking a drink from her wineglass. Pausing for a moment, she wondered what he meant. Then, as her brain caught up with her, she swallowed her mouthful and put the glass back onto the table.

**Alex**

I erm…I didn't. I trained hands on.

**Kirsten**

Oh, so you went straight into the training after high school?

Alex switched her gaze over to Kirsten, becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the second. Right then is when she felt completely unworthy of Marissa. A girl that had been brought up in Newport, in a big mansion with rich parents. Parents that had sent her to a private school, and a good college. She hoped nothing like this would have come up in conversation, but then she thought how stupid that hope was. Of course it would.

**Alex**

Actually no. I didn't graduate high school.

She admitted reluctantly, lowering her gaze to the bright clean table linen. There had been moments in her relationship with Marissa when she had felt their backgrounds clash together, but no more so than now. And the silence that fell over the table awkwardly was deafening. She had set out to impress the Cohen's. To prove that she was good for Marissa, that she deserved to be with her. All she was proving was that she didn't.

**Kirsten**

Oh. Well, school isn't for everyone…I guess. You sound like you've done well. Your parents must be very proud.

As Alex cleared her throat, still staring at the table, Marissa frowned at her Mother, clearly becoming annoyed and worried.

**Marissa**

Off topic Mom.

It wasn't only that she knew Alex had her worries and insecurities about them finding out she hadn't finished school, it was the way Kirsten had said it too. Marissa knew she hadn't meant to sound condescending, but that's just how it had come out. And to top it off, she brought family into the picture. Marissa wished now that she had briefed her parents a little better, told them a little more about Alex, and told them what they really shouldn't mention over dinner. Hindsight was a marvellous thing, and completely useless.

**Alex**

I think I'm just going to go to the bathroom.

Before anyone could say anything else, Alex stood up from the table and was making her way across the restaurant. After Marissa watched her go helplessly, she whirled her head around to glare at her confused parents.

**Kirsten**

What just happened?

**Marissa**

Did you have to patronise her like that?

**Kirsten**

I didn't patronise her.

**Sandy**

Yeah honey, you kind of did.

Kirsten sighed, thinking back over what she had said. She guessed she had sounded a little patronising, but she had been taken by surprised. She hadn't known what to say, it wasn't that she had any real problem with the fact that Alex hadn't finished school. It was just surprising.

**Marissa**

I know you didn't mean to. But Alex is really, _really _self conscious about not finishing school, okay? The truth is that she was going through a lot of stuff then, she got expelled and not long after, her parents threw her out when they found out she was gay. She wasn't as lucky as I was. I had you. She didn't have anyone to take her in like that. But, the friend that trained her, he helped her out. She's worked so hard building what she has. Harder than we've had to work creating CCR.

**Kirsten**

I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

**Marissa**

It's not your fault. I should go and make sure she's okay.

**Kirsten**

No, let me.

Marissa halted in getting up from the table, and watched as Kirsten got up instead. She sat back down properly, knowing that it would be useless in arguing with her Mother about which one of them got to go to the bathroom.

Opening the door to the toilets, Kirsten walked in, finding that the washroom part of the bathroom was empty. Silently, she stood with her hip leaning against one of the sinks, waiting patiently for Alex to come out of the stall she was in. In a way, Alex reminded her quite a lot of Sandy. They both had a certain charm about them, and an underlying honesty too. They had both worked extremely hard for what they had. Although they had gone in completely different ways about it, they had both utilised their talents to gain what they wanted.

Blinking back to reality as the stall door opened, Kirsten pushed herself off the sink to stand properly as Alex came out. The blonde glanced at her wearily, but didn't stop her stride over to the sinks, where she turned the tap on to wash her hands.

**Kirsten**

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I certainly didn't mean to run you off to the bathroom.

**Alex**

It's okay.

Alex responded in a quiet tone, not looking up from washing her hands. She wondered if Kirsten could hear her heart thumping against her chest. Or the noise of her thoughts zooming around in her head.

**Kirsten**

No, it isn't. Marissa told us about what happened.

Clearing her throat as she switched the tap off, Alex stood up straight as she pulled out a paper towel and dried her hands. She turned to face Kirsten slowly, before pushing her hair back and taking a gulp before she opened her mouth.

**Alex**

Look, Mrs Cohen, I'm not under any delusion about how unworthy I am for your daughter. But I do love her. I came from a bad place, with bad parents and I got a raw deal. But I've never let it be an excuse for anything. I've worked really hard to get to where I am now, and I don't lack anything. I'm smart, and I have my own money, my own house, I don't need anything from Marissa, we're equal like that.

Alex announced, in the most straightforward way she could think of. It wasn't defensive, and it wasn't an attack. It was just the truth, aimed to dispel any unsavoury ideas that could be forming in Kirsten's head.

**Kirsten**

That's not why I think you're with Marissa. And you're wrong. I don't think I've met anyone more worthy of my daughter.

Alex blinked in surprise, opening her mouth but not really knowing what to say. She looked, still a little wearily, toward Kirsten, who smiled softly with a sincere sparkle in her eyes. Alex hadn't been combative when she had said her little speech. She just wanted Kirsten to know that she could and did stand on her own two feet. When it came down to it, she may have been insecure about the fact she hadn't finished school, but she was sure as hell proud about building her own business.

**Alex**

Seriously?

**Kirsten**

I have never seen my daughter shine the way she's doing now. I've been so afraid for so long that the pain inside of her would kill her inside. But as soon as you came into her life, she's changed. She's happy. You did that for her.

**Alex**

She did it for me too.

Alex whispered, briefly looking at the tiled floor before glancing back at Kirsten again. The older blonde woman smiled at her, and she couldn't help but start to forget what had happened at the table. Marissa had spoken a lot about her parents. Through answering questions, or telling stories. She had told her what they had done for her, when she was a teenager. They had sounded special, and now Alex was starting to see why that was true. Despite what Marissa had been through, despite the darkness and confliction riddled through her, the Cohen's had raised her to be a great person. They had stopped her from being engulfed in everything, and loosing herself. And whether they knew it or not, they had made her happy too.

**Kirsten**

Do you want to back to the table and hear some embarrassing stories about Marissa?

**Alex**

Definitely!

Suffice to say that things had gone a lot better after that. Alex and Kirsten returned to the table to receive a kiss from their respective other half's, and to share an understanding smile between themselves. With the atmosphere flowing easily again, the four of them had began to talk eagerly over their meal. Sandy and Kirsten still asking Alex about herself, interested in her life, and her life with Marissa. And Alex enquired about them too, and had listened and laughed as they had told stories about Marissa. It had actually turned into a very pleasant night. Alex had forgotten how nervous she had been, and the initial bad start to the evening.

**Marissa**

You were so good tonight.

Marissa stated, in between kisses as the pair fumbled in through Alex's front door after getting out the taxicab. There was no doubt in her mind that her parents had completely fallen in love with Alex. She had completely eased into the dinner, showing off her natural radiance and charm.

**Alex**

Well it wasn't just me. Your parent's kind of rock. But did you have to make is so damn obvious that I'm fucking you? Regularly!

Marissa laughed as Alex backed her against the wall and leant into her heavily. She didn't give her much of an opportunity to answer, as she took her mouth hungrily. The brunette felt the fire flush through her body, the way it always did when Alex touched her. She smirked into the kiss, reaching up and cupping Alex's face softly. But after a moment, Alex took her hands, and moved them back to pin them against the wall. Marissa immediately missed her girlfriend's mouth as she pulled away, but stayed close enough so that she could feel her breath against her skin. The brunette leant her head forward, trying recapture Alex's mouth, but Alex ducked just out of reach every time teasingly.

**Marissa**

Hate to break it to you baby, but everyone knows you're fucking me.

**Alex**

They do, huh?

**Marissa**

It's somewhat apparent, yeah.

Alex laughed, finally ending Marissa's torture by leaning back in and taking her mouth again. She let her hands slide along her lovers arms, to her shoulders where she tucked her fingers beneath Marissa's jacket and started to slip it off. Marissa in turn, pushed herself lightly off of the wall, making her step back, so that she could help in the ridding of the jacket. As Alex grasped the bottom of Marissa's top, starting to pull it upward, they were suddenly bombarded in light.

**Ryan**

Don't mind me.

Practically jumping away from Marissa, Alex glared at her brother, currently stood at the top of the stairs looking somewhere between highly amused and quite afraid for his life. Which he should have been. Marissa cleared her throat as she turned a deep shade of red, pulling down her shirt again before rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly.

**Alex**

_Ryan! _What the hell? I thought you were staying over at Emma's?

Alex ground out furiously.

**Ryan**

Yeah, change of plan. Sorry.

**Marissa**

Everything okay?

Marissa asked, finally finding her voice. She looked up at Ryan as he made his way down the stairs, as she nudged Alex's arm gently, indicating that it was okay.

**Ryan**

Don't know. How was dinner?

Clearly getting the impression that Ryan didn't want to talk about whatever had transpired between Emma and himself, Marissa broke out into a goofy grin.

**Marissa**

Alex kicked ass. She's even going surfing with my Dad tomorrow!

She couldn't help but chuckle as she said it, thinking back to the surfing conversation that her Dad and Alex had delved into when Marissa had pointed out they both did it. She had been bored stiff, like Kirsten, but it had been amusing to watch. Somehow, and she even wasn't quite sure herself, plans had been made for tomorrow. It was only in the ride home from the restaurant that Alex had asked her if she had actually agreed to hit the water with her Father.

**Ryan**

So it wasn't quite worth that tiny little huge meltdown earlier?

Ryan teased, giving his sister a pointed look, knowing that it would piss her off even more. He grinned as Marissa snickered, and Alex narrowed her eyes further at him. She ignored the comment, and just took Marissa's hand and started pulling her up the stairs.

**Alex**

Going to my room now. Where the door will be locked!

**Saturday morning**

**Marissa's house**

**11:45am**

**Marissa**

So, what happened in the bathroom?

**Kirsten**

Excuse me?

Marissa looked away from the glistening water, instead turning her head to look at her Mother. Since they had lost their other half's to the water a while ago, they were sat on her deck, chatting as they watched them surf. After getting up this morning, Alex had put her surfboard into the back of her jeep, then found a spare one that she kept in the garage for Sandy. Marissa had driven home ahead of Alex, wanting to sort a few things out in the house before her parents arrived. They hadn't been hear all that long, and they had arrived before the blonde had. She had stayed behind to wait for Ryan to get up, to make sure he was okay.

**Marissa**

Alex never mentioned what you two talked about in the bathroom last night.

Marissa repeated with a smirk, knowing that Kirsten had known what she had been referring to the first time around. She knew that she probably would never find out, especially as she caught the glint in her Mother's eyes as she looked at her. But, she had to at least ask once, for curiosity's sake.

**Kirsten**

I guess because that's between your Mom and your girlfriend!

Marissa just laughed softly, shaking her head as she turned back to looking at the water, before lifting up her glass to sip at her juice. Taking a deep breath in, she thought for a moment before looking down at the deck.

**Marissa**

You do like her, right?

She wondered softly, before looking back at the woman beside her. It wasn't that she thought her parents didn't like Alex, she really did know that they did. But she just, for some reason, needed to hear it out loud.

**Kirsten**

Yes honey, we do. A lot.

Marissa grinned gratefully, nodding silently at the sincerity in her Mother's eyes. Taking in a deep breath, she looked out to the water again. In the short time that she had looked away, Sandy had come off of the water. He was stood watching Alex hit the next couple of waves skilfully, before she too came out of the water, carrying her board over to where he was stood. Marissa just smiled, seeing them start to talk immediately, pointing out to the water and gesturing about something or other as they talked.

**Summer**

Well, Alex is over there talking to Sandy so something must have gone right!

Both Marissa and Kirsten looked around to see Summer stepping through the patio and stride out onto the deck. Walking up behind their chairs, she leant over slightly to give them both a greeting kiss on the cheek before moving around to the chair next to Kirsten and flopping into it with a sigh.

**Marissa**

It did. What's going on, you look…oh my god!

Kirsten frowned, looking between her daughter and her daughter-in-law as they shared a knowing smile between one another. It was eerie sometimes, how well they knew each other. But right now she was more interested in what had caused the reaction from Marissa, who was still wide eyed and had put a hand over her mouth.

**Kirsten**

Okay, you two should have been twins or something. What's going on?

Summer looked away from Marissa, not being able to knock the huge smile off of her face.

**Summer**

I'm pregnant!

She blurted out happily, not being able to hold it in anymore. It had been hard, considering that she had found out last night. Seth had practically jumped on her to stop her from calling Marissa, reminding her that she was introducing Alex to his parents. Reluctantly she had agreed to wait, so had been very thankful when they had been informed of the impromptu gathering here today. As both Kirsten and Marissa moved, she stood back up, happy to accept their hugs.

**Kirsten**

Summer that's…oh my god…congratulations! I had no idea you were trying again.

Summer still grinned, hugging Kirsten first and then leaning over and accepting Marissa's tight hug too. After the brunette let her go, she sniffed a little bit, wiping the little well of tears out of her eyes.

**Summer**

We didn't want to say anything until there was something to tell. We are so, so happy. You should have seen Cohen, he just went crazy!

**Kirsten**

Where is Seth?

Summer turned around, pointing out onto the beach just in time to see Seth set Mia down onto the sand at her urging. The toddler waddled quickly across the sand, making a straight line toward Alex. The blonde picked her up easily, spinning her around a little bit as she gave her a kiss on the cheek. As Seth caught up with his daughter, he came to a stand next to them and immediately started talking. Obviously he didn't draw the process out the same as his wife, because a moment later Sandy hugged him, patting him on the back. After that, with Mia still in her arms, Alex gave Seth a hug too, and a kiss on the cheek.

**Kirsten**

Well, I think this calls for a celebration!


	17. The Fall

**Chapter Seventeen – The Fall**

**Kelly residence**

**Two weeks later**

**Saturday – 12:45pm**

Marissa sighed lightly as she pulled up outside of her girlfriend's house, switching off the engine but not taking off her sunglasses. Picking up her PDA and her phone from the passenger seat, she slipped them into her shoulder bag, and then grabbed the brown grocery bag next to it before exiting the car. The sun was still beaming down from high up in the sky, and she squirmed slightly underneath her clothes, almost desperate to have the opportunity to get changed.

The brunette was wearing a dark blue, almost black, pencil skirt. Along with it a v-neck, white pull over shirt with sleeves to her elbows, along with a black corset that she usually loved, but today hated. She felt slightly suffocated in it today. She had kept her hair up, in an effort to remain a little cooler. Her stockings that she was wearing itched too, and her feet were screaming to be released from the heels. The only reason why she was dressed so business like on a Saturday was because of the coffee meeting she had been requested to attend by some movie people. It was the only time they could schedule time together at the moment, and it was an important meeting. So she had sacrificed her Saturday morning, leaving her friends to gather for the barbecue Ryan had invited everyone to.

Her mind drifted onto her girlfriend, and how her behaviour had been erratic for the past couple of weeks. Running hot and cold was actually an understatement. They had been fighting a lot recently, over stupid things that were absolutely inconsequential to their relationship. And Alex had been having nightmares a lot more frequently. But the harder Marissa tried to be there for her, the harder Alex pushed her away about it. It was frightening her, because Alex had never acted like this since they had met.

Deciding to walk around the drive and straight into the kitchen, Marissa found herself surprised to hear voices floating out. She recognised them instinctively and immediately, of course. Seth, Summer, Emma and Ryan. They were all laughing as they bickered playfully about something she couldn't quite make out.

**Marissa**

Hey.

The four friends turned around, ceasing in their conversation to regard her warmly. Ryan and Emma were at one end of the cooking island, chopping things up and Seth and Summer were at the other end doing something or other with food. Marissa found herself surprised for the second time, as she quirked her eyebrow as they all said hello.

**Marissa**

How come you're all in the kitchen?

She enquired, moving around to another counter and placing the grocery bag down gently. Immediately, Summer came over to investigate, routing through it to probably make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

**Summer**

We're cooking Coop, _duh_!

The smaller girl flailed a hand, sounding like it was the simplest explanation in the whole world and Marissa was stupid for asking. She received a nudge for her effort, before Marissa walked away and went to stand near Ryan. Her eyes roamed over the table, interested in what was going on.

**Ryan**

We decided to do the cooking today, since Alex usually does it.

Marissa nodded slowly, still eyeing the food preparations as she realised just how hungry she was. It was fair; Alex usually did do the cooking. Despite the fact that it was usually because the blonde insisted she do it, Marissa thought it was nice for the guys to give her a break. She was fairly certain that she wasn't invited to the cooking party though, considering that she managed to burn soup! Even Summer was better than her in the kitchen. Pretty much anyone was.

**Marissa**

Okay. So how come it's taking four of you guys to do what Alex usually does alone?

She wondered teasingly, eyeing Seth up in his pink apron. Obviously he was either the last one to the apron grabbing or he lost a bet.

**Seth**

Hey, do you want to be fed or not? 'Cos I suggest you stop criticising the crack chef team.

He scorned, wafting a cutting knife in her general direction. She widened her eyes a little, and stepped back to inch behind Ryan.

**Marissa**

Who gave Seth the sharp objects?

Everyone laughed as Seth wagged the knife at her one more time before going back to his slicing duties. Marissa leant in between Emma and Ryan, reaching forward to pick up a couple of cucumber and carrot slices. For which she received a nudge from Emma.

**Emma**

Hey, no snacking allowed!

**Marissa**

Okay Miss Food Nazi! I'll go get changed and try not to think about how hungry I am. Where's Alex gotten to?

She smiled at Emma, who smirked at her forgivingly, before pulling back and moving over toward the door that lead through to the living room. She was happy that Ryan and Emma were back together again. Not that they had actually split up. They had just had a huge row over a couple of things. Alex had talked to her brother, and Marissa had never really found out what she had said to him. All she knew was that Ryan had gone to Emma's house the day that her parents had come over, and they had sorted things out.

**Summer**

The kids abducted her a while ago. Mia ditched me for her as soon as we got here. I've never seen her warm up to anyone outside of the family that fast before.

She mused, thinking back to when they had all started hanging out with the kids. Mia had taken an extreme shine to Alex for some reason. She loved playing with her, or just being carried around by her. Which was normally an honour for those closest to her. Even the nanny didn't get affection quite like it from the infant. Summer just guessed that there was something in Alex that Mia related to somehow. Kids were a lot more aware of things than adults could be. They picked stuff up that didn't come across to grown ups. There must have been something appealing and comforting about the blonde that Mia responded to.

**Ryan**

She's great with kids. Always has been.

Ryan agreed and summed up, nodding slightly. Marissa nodded too, and then turned back to the door. As she opened it, she heard the stereo go on, loudly playing Bye Bye Love by Simon & Garfunkle. Curiously, she opened the door further, and smiled at the sight she walked into. Her girlfriend was singing and dancing along, holding Mia in one arm, and spinning Holly around with the other. Both girls were laughing hysterically. Holly was spinning and dancing, trying to sing along through her laughter, as Mia was wiggling lightly and bopping in Alex's arm. Marissa couldn't help but laugh, which gained the attention of her girlfriend. The brunette moved forward, as the other four came to the door to see what was going on.

**Holly**

Hi Rissa! _Daddy_…

Holly let go of Alex and rushed at Marissa, giving her a quick squeeze of a hug before she ran at her Dad and grabbed his hand. Marissa continued over to Alex, still chuckling as she did.

**Marissa**

Hi.

Marissa took one of the hands that Mia held out toward her, and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Her hand slipped into Alex's free hand, before she leant over to her and kissed her softly too.

**Alex**

Hey.

Alex smiled as she moved her arm, getting Marissa to start dancing a little bit, much to the delight of Mia. The dark haired girl clapped for a moment, and then reached out to her parents as she saw them approaching. Ryan was already dancing with Holly, and as Alex handed Mia over to her parents, they started dancing a little bit with her too. After the song had finished, and another one started, Marissa excused herself to go upstairs and change; still feeling suffocated in her business attire.

Walking into Alex's room, she began to unlace the corset, heading over to the closet. Quickly, she pulled the corset off and tossed it onto the floor, where it was shortly followed by her white shirt, and dark blue skirt. Marissa couldn't help but sigh, relieved to have them off, and happy to just be stood in her underwear and stockings. Slipping off the heels, she opened the closet to look for something a lot more comfortable and cooler to wear. She sighed softly, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand.

**Alex**

Feel better?

Turning around, Marissa widened her eyes for a second, flailing as she nodded as confirmation.

**Marissa**

_So_ much better.

The brunette watched her girlfriend cross through the room, smirking ever so slightly as she carried two beers. When she got in distance, she held one out, and Marissa took it gratefully. It was freezing cold, and exactly what she needed right now. Immediately, she took a large gulp, not noticing Alex look her up and down as she did the same.

**Marissa**

Thank you baby.

Marissa watched as Alex lowered her own beer, nodding lightly before reaching out her free hand and taking away her beer. The blonde bent over to place the two bottles on the floor, gaining a frown of confusion from Marissa. But she watched silently, wondering what Alex was doing. She somehow missed the vibe that was now running through her girlfriend, even as she stepped into her a little bit, putting her hand around to the back of her head and giving her a series of short, but thorough kisses.

As Marissa suddenly realised what was going on, she was too turned on to object to Alex's actions. She shivered slightly, as Alex ran her tongue along her bottom lip, silently seeking permission to make the kiss more involved. Marissa didn't object, but instead opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. She didn't object either, as Alex walked her backward, effectively pinning her up against the wall. All she could do at this very moment was react to what her lover was doing. The sensations caused through her kiss, from the hand skimming over her stomach, the leg wedged between her own. She knew exactly what Alex's intentions were, but it was only as the blonde moved her hand up to cup her breast that her brain kicked into gear a little better.

**Marissa**

Wait…Alex wait…

She only just managed to pant out, between heavy kisses and hardly managing to suppress the moan in her throat as Alex's hand slipped beneath her bra so it was just skin on skin. It always made everything that much more potent.

**Alex**

What?

Alex mumbled, her breath hot and her fingers and body not being able to cease in their actions. She moved slightly, taking to kiss along Marissa's neck, not being able to resist the temptation.

**Marissa**

The door is open.

Marissa pointed out, her glowing blue eyes a mixture of fretful and turned on. She gazed at the bedroom door, now noticing that Alex had never closed it when she had entered. Her mind wondered a little further, to the people downstairs that could catch them at any time. It worried her, but at the same time, thrilled her too.

**Alex**

So what?

**Marissa**

What if someone comes upstairs?

The brunette wondered, her only real objection to what was happening, and a weak one at that. She didn't make an effort to stop Alex's hand trail from the back of her head downward. She didn't move to stop her from slipping that hand under her underwear.

**Alex**

They won't.

**Marissa**

How do you know that?

Alex looked up properly, locking eyes with her girlfriend intently. This wasn't what she had planned when she came up here. Her only intention was to bring Marissa a beer, and ask how her meeting had gone. She had just wanted a few moments alone with her, amongst a day filled with everyone else. But as soon as she had seen her, things had changed.

**Alex**

Because they've gone for a walk on the beach.

Her voice was so low that it was almost inaudible, but she knew Marissa had heard her. And as soon as she had said it, Marissa gasped and exhaled slowly, not breaking their intense stare as she slipped her fingers inside of her.

**Two hours later**

Summer walked up along the beach, toward the house that she spotted her friend still hovering by. She could see Marissa now, sitting on the steps of the deck, yet another beer in hand, staring glumly and thoughtfully out toward the horizon. Behind her, the young Mother could hear their friends and the kids laughing as they played around in the sand. Marissa hadn't even stepped foot onto the beach yet. And Alex wasn't doing anything to entice her out.

**Summer**

What's wrong with you?

Marissa blinked back to reality, realising that Summer was stood before her. She stared at the smaller woman in confusion, not having comprehended anything that she might have said. The only thing she had managed to really take in was Summer's combative but caring expression and stance.

**Marissa**

What?

**Summer**

Is there something wrong? You've barely said anything since you got home. And honey, everyone has noticed that you've barely spoken to Alex.

Marissa sighed, looking away from Summer and down at the ground. That was true. After what happened upstairs, she and her blonde girlfriend had hardly spoken. Actually, things between them had become painfully awkward. But Summer had it backward. It had been Alex that had initiated the cold front, leaving her absolutely mystified at the situation. But as she had sat through dinner, not really concentrating on anything but her own thoughts, Marissa had thought back over the past couple of weeks.

She hadn't mentioned her and Alex's fights to anyone. Although they had had one in front of Ryan and Emma one night, about Alex's jeep or something or other. A pointless argument that had risen out of nowhere. Actually, that wasn't strictly true. It had risen out of Alex's bad mood, again. But neither of them had let on that there was something there between them, pushing them apart.

**Summer**

Coop; is there something wrong with you and Alex?

Summer questioned softly, picking up on the vibe immediately. She moved to sit beside her friend, looking at her as she stared at the ground for a moment longer. Then, as she put a hand in her hair and lifted up her head, she could see the real worry running through her eyes.

**Marissa**

I don't know. I think there might be, yeah.

She admitted in an almost whisper. Peeling her eyes off of Summer as she took a slow breath in, she looked out at the glistening water again.

**Marissa**

She erm…she came upstairs earlier. When you guys went for a walk. And she…you know?

Summer nodded, frowning slightly as Marissa looked at her to make sure she was following.

**Marissa**

And right after, she just left. I don't know what's going on, she's never done that before. I felt…god I shouldn't say this…

Reaching forward, Summer put her hand on Marissa's arm, gaining her attention once more as she looked at her sincerely.

**Summer**

You can tell me.

**Marissa**

I felt like one of her conquests. You know? As though I was just some girl that she wanted and then disregarded afterward.

Marissa sniffled slightly, clearing her throat and blinking a couple more times to focus herself and pull herself together.

**Summer**

Do you think it could be about the fight you guys had a while ago? Or what happened with Katie?

**Marissa**

No. This is different. We had something to fight over then. This is just…I don't know what this is. She's been weird for a couple of weeks. One minute everything is fine, the next minute she's cold and abrasive, snapping at me for no reason. Like she doesn't want me there.

**Summer**

Of course she does. Have you tried talking about it?

**Marissa**

She _won't_ talk to me.

Marissa hung her head again, staring at the floor as she sighed dejectedly. She remembered, briefly, what Alex had told her. About how she would try to push her away sometimes, and how she would hurt her but not mean to. It was certainly ringing true right now. The problem was, is that she didn't know what to do about it. How could she do something about what she didn't understand? Alex refused to acknowledge anything was wrong, and flat out didn't talk to her when she was in this mood. That Marissa had coped with over the week, but today was something else. Having her girlfriend just fuck her like that and leave, it had been where Marissa had to draw the line. She couldn't take that. Jesse had treated her like that, and it had messed with her head. She couldn't let Alex do it too.

**Summer**

Well, it looks like you're not the only one.

Summer mused, nodding over to where she had spotted Ryan and Alex having what looked like a pretty heated argument. Marissa looked up too, frowning as she saw the twins fighting. Ryan must have wondered over to where Alex had been loitering when they were talking. Now, the siblings were getting into each other's faces. Scarily so. Both of them were yelling and flailing, getting more wound up by the second. Finally, it ended with Alex pushing her brother back, before she turned around and marched away. After a moment, they heard the jeep being started, followed by loud music and the tyres squealing down the road.

**Marissa**

I think I'm just gunna go home.

**Summer**

Coop…

Summer shot up into a standing position as Marissa did, looking at her almost pleadingly, not taking her hand away from her arm. She didn't know what was going on, or why it was happening, but she knew she didn't want Marissa to be alone either.

**Marissa**

I'll be fine Summer. I just wanna go home and get some rest is all. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Marissa appeased, flashing a tight, unconvincing smile. The only thing that rang true was that she was exhausted. She didn't want to stay here and play happy when all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed, where the sunlight would be blocked out and she didn't have to think about anything. Not Alex, not work, not her friends or family. She just wanted some peace, so that she could shut down and sleep. Perhaps waking up tomorrow would let her get a new perspective on things? Stranger things had been known to happen.

**Summer**

Okay. But call me if you need anything sweetie.

Summer relented, albeit reluctantly. Leaning forward, she gave Marissa a quick hug, before letting her go and watching her walk back into the house. She sighed slowly, running a hand through her hair as she wondered to herself just how many ways she could kill Alex right now.

**Cooper Residence**

**3:24am**

Alex could still hear the thunder of music pushing against her ears, causing all other sounds to be distant and dull. She could hear her own breathing inside of her head, slow and steady, like a diver or something. She felt a little hazy, even though she had stopped drinking a while ago. It didn't really matter when you stopped drinking when you were emotional though, you were always more susceptible to it.

In all honesty she didn't know why she had come to Marissa's house. She knew, after the way she had left today, that the brunette was going to be angry at her. After all, she had abandoned her there. She hadn't even tried calling her, so Alex knew that Marissa was definitely pissed off. The problem was, she desperately needed to be close to her right now. She needed to hear her breathing, and feel her hair. She just needed her. What she really wanted to do, was be wrapped up in her girlfriends arms, where she would be safe to say all the things that needed to be said. She wanted to say them, and cry in Marissa's arms. Finally break down, confess everything, and perhaps be better off for it. But she knew she wouldn't.

**Marissa**

Alex?

Alex blinked as a bedside lamp was switched on, and looked around the bedroom in confusion. How had she made it into the bedroom? How had she made it up the stairs without breaking her neck?

**Alex**

Hey.

Blinking again, as she wobbled on the spot she stood on, Alex gazed at Marissa as Marissa gazed at her. She had woken her up, she could tell that much. The sleep was still covering her beautiful face, brown eyes barely peeping out from the slits in her eyelids, and her silky hair was all mussed up. If she weren't pissed off before, she sure as hell would be now. Alex tried her best to look innocent and sweet, as she cleared her throat lightly.

**Marissa**

What're you doing here?

Marissa demanded, looking at her girlfriend coldly, but fighting back the urge to look both relieved and worried. Alex didn't really deserve her concern right now, not after the way she had treated her today.

**Alex**

I wanted to be with my girlfriend.

Alex responded, just a little too defensive than she should have been.

**Marissa**

Maybe you should have tried that this afternoon. Where have you been?

**Alex**

Out.

**Marissa**

You're drunk.

**Alex**

Yeah, I'm drunk. I'm a little high too, you gunna call my Mom? 'Cos I don't think she'll care.

The blonde snapped, scowling as she watched Marissa scoff bitterly and run a hand through her hair.

**Marissa**

You're fucking unbelievable. What is going on with you?

Alex took a step back, a flash of anger and fear rolling through her eyes. Marissa could see the fortress walls shoot up immediately; they were so visible, almost tangible. Right then she knew that this was going to be a fight. She was going to have to struggle to get Alex to open up to her.

**Alex**

Nothing is going on with me. Everything is fine.

**Marissa**

No, it isn't. Something's wrong. With you, with us…

**Alex**

Don't be ridiculous Marissa, we're fine.

**Marissa**

No we're not!

Alex blinked, surprised that Marissa had actually yelled at her. She watched, still in her state of shock, as Marissa moved off of the bed, and moved around to stand near her. She didn't approach her properly though, there seemed to be something stopping her. A fear maybe, or fury.

**Marissa**

You're full of shit Alex, you know as well as I do that this relationship is sinking. And it's your fault.

**Alex**

I told you that I loved you. What more do you want from me?

**Marissa**

You! I just want you, don't you understand that?

**Alex**

Well do you see me with another girl, huh?

**Marissa**

After the way you treated me today, I may as well be just another damn girl to you.

**Alex**

What? What the fuck are you talking about, I didn't do anything.

**Marissa**

Exactly! Do you know how you made me feel? Like I was another conquest to you. You just left me. I can't cope with that Alex. You can't just treat me like I'm nothing and expect me to be okay with it. Jesse did that to me. You know she did.

**Alex**

What're you trying to say here Marissa?

Marissa looked down quickly, drawing in a breath to reel her anger back. As she cleared her throat, she crossed her arms over her chest protectively, before looking back up at her confused girlfriend. She looked so damn confused, so vulnerable and angry. Three things you really wouldn't expect to see in someone at the same time. But most of all, Marissa could see that Alex was lost.

**Marissa**

I'm saying that you need to trust me. You need to talk to me. Because I can't cope with this for much longer. It isn't working like this. You're pushing too hard, and the more I try and help you or get close to you, the harder you push.

**Alex**

I'm fine.

**Marissa**

No, you're not.

**Alex**

You don't know what you're talking about.

It was Marissa's turn to be surprised, as Alex shouted, looking down and taking a step back from her as though physical distance would help.

**Marissa**

I love you, Alex. And you can trust me. Whatever it is inside of you, I can deal with it. I can help you through it.

Marissa whispered softly. That's all she wanted to do. And she knew that Alex talking about whatever she was scared of would be the saving grace of their relationship. The brunette was desperately clinging onto the words the blonde had spoken to her some time ago. When they were in bed together. That's what was keeping her going. She didn't doubt that Alex loved her, that was obvious. She didn't doubt that Alex trusted her, that wasn't the issue. She knew that Alex was pushing her away because she was filled with pain. Whatever it was scared her enough and hurt her enough to do this. But there was only so much someone could do sometimes. If Alex refused to talk to her, Marissa couldn't do much about it. She couldn't let herself be treated the way she was being treated, however much she loved the woman in front of her.

**Alex**

Don't make promises you can't keep Marissa.

The way Alex spoke stalled the brunette; along with the cold gaze she shot at her. Marissa froze, not sure of what to do or say. She wanted to make things right. She wanted to tell Alex it didn't matter. She wanted to do a lot of things. But she couldn't. All she could do was stand and look at Alex as she looked at her, both knowing that their relationship was very close to breaking.

**Marissa**

Where are you going?

The brunette snapped out of her silence as Alex turned and walked to the door. She stopped, hesitating by the hallway for a second, before she shrugged and turned around.

**Alex**

I'm going home. It's not like you want me around anyway.

**Marissa**

That is so unfair.

**Alex**

Am I wrong? Are you gunna let me sleep with you?

**Marissa**

No. But you're not driving home either; I'm surprised you made it hear alive. Give me your keys.

**Alex**

Don't tell me what to do.

**Marissa**

Just give me your fucking keys Alex. You can sleep in the guest room. I may be angry at you right now but I don't feel like sitting at your bedside in the hospital when you crash your jeep.

**Alex**

Whatever.

Alex dug in her pocket grumpily, knowing that she wasn't about to get out of the house with her car keys. She guessed Marissa was right. She had barely gotten to her house safely; deep down she didn't really want to gamble with driving to her own house. So she handed her keys over, and then walked out of the room and down the hallway. All the while there was a heavy, sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach.

When Marissa got up in the morning, and went to check on Alex, she was gone.

**The Purple Heart**

**5 days later**

**1:15pm**

Marissa knocked once again on Alex's door, trying to be loud enough to get noticed. She could hear the music filtering out from inside, and it made her sigh. With a small frown, the brunette just decided to open the door, seeing as she was never going to get anywhere if Alex didn't turn the volume down. Lisa had already told her that she wasn't in a meeting, and there was no way she could have been on the phone with the music that loud either. And Marissa wasn't about to leave without seeing her girlfriend; she refused to accept defeat today.

Pushing the door open slowly, she stepped inside and looked around. At first, she didn't see Alex. What she did see was the paperwork covering her desk, the remains of an unfinished lunch on the table, and the pillow and blanket strewn over the plush couch. Ryan had told her yesterday that Alex hadn't been home since last Saturday, so Marissa guessed that she was crashing here.

**Marissa**

Alex…

Spotting the blonde in the corner of the room, going through a draw of files in the filing cabinet, Marissa once again tried to catch her attention. She yelled loudly, but was still being drowned out by the music, which happened to be a Bob Dylan album. Alex was singing along to Thunder On The Mountain, still completely unaware to any other presence in the room. Usually, Marissa would enjoy the chance to listen to her lover sing, considering that she was exceptionally good at it. But right now, all she wanted to do was get her to talk to her. So, moving across the room, she turned the volume down quickly, causing Alex to turn around sharply, clearly taken by surprise.

**Alex**

Holy crap Marissa, you scared the shit out of me.

The blonde snapped angrily, glaring at Marissa at the other side of the room. This is what you got for not remembering to tell your staff that you didn't want to take visitors. Including brothers and girlfriends.

**Marissa**

Sorry. But it was the only way I could get your attention.

Marissa responded curtly, folding her arms across her chest. She watched Alex put the file down, before turning to regard her properly, also crossing her arms.

**Alex**

'Kay, well now you have my attention. What do you want?

Marissa dropped her jaw a little, somewhat taken aback at just how cold and dismissive Alex was being. For the briefest of moments, she thought that being ignored by her was a whole lot better.

**Marissa**

An explanation maybe? You've been ignoring me for 5 days Alex. You haven't returned any of my calls or any of my messages.

Alex just shrugged flippantly.

**Alex**

I've been busy.

**Marissa**

Yeah, sure you have. Too busy to go home?

**Alex**

Obviously you've been talking to _Ryan_. What, you checking up on me now?

Marissa flailed at her girlfriend, her frustration with their current situation running clear across her face. It would have been better if she had some sort of idea what was going on. Why Alex had suddenly turned into a complete bitch. She had a feeling that Ryan knew, he just wouldn't tell her. Not that she had even bothered to pry the information out of him; he was too loyal to his sister. Whatever it was, the only way she would find out was if Alex told her. And that wasn't looking likely.

**Marissa**

This is fucking ridiculous. I don't even know what's going on here. You've all but disappeared on me, and I don't know how to take that. I don't know how to fix a problem when I don't even know what the damn problem is.

For a moment, Alex lowered her eyes to the floor, not wanting to look Marissa in the eye when she was so upset. She didn't want to face her whilst she was so angry, and scared, and miserable, knowing that she had caused all of it. But the stubbornness in her kept her mouth shut too. Realistically, she knew she could just tell the brunette everything she so desperately wanted to know right now. If she did, everything would probably be fine. But it was that slither of doubt, and guilt, and shame and all the rest of the screwed up emotions running through her that wouldn't let her speak.

**Marissa**

Please Alex, just tell me what it is running through your head. Tell me what you need.

Marissa had used the time that Alex was gazing at the floor to advance on her, so that she was stood inches away. The closest she had been to her since Sunday. She desperately wanted to tell the blonde that she had missed her, she had missed her presence. She wanted to tell her that she loved her, and seeing her like this, and being treated like this, was killing her. But she couldn't. She couldn't outright say it.

She didn't know why she didn't stop Alex. She didn't know why she let her do the exact same thing that she did to her on Saturday. Instead she just let her take over, dominate her. She kissed her back, made no move to resist as Alex pushed her up against the desk, hands and mouth roaming everywhere. It was different, like last week. There was something else behind Alex's actions, making her distant. She was rough and unfeeling. She didn't want to be touched, Marissa knew that even through the mixed up foggy haze in her head. Somewhere deep inside, something was telling her to stop. To do something about what was happening. But everything else was just letting Alex fuck her, her own body betraying her.

After it was over, they stood there for a moment. Marissa suddenly realised what she had let happen, and admonished herself for it. Alex contemplating what she was very close to throwing away out of fear. Then, clearing her throat, the blonde stepped away, turning away from Marissa as she heard her push herself into a standing position, righting out her clothes. She didn't want to do this, but she couldn't seem to stop herself either. Using Marissa was wrong; this was the woman that she loved. Pushing her away, and acting like she was no different to anyone else wasn't working. But neither was making an effort to pull her closer.

**Marissa**

Anything else I can do for you?

Marissa asked bitterly, partly at herself and partly at Alex. She knew the blonde could only get away with doing that if she let her. So they were both to blame.

**Alex**

Just go.

**Marissa**

No, Alex. I won't.

Alex turned around, once again crossing her arms as she looked at Marissa pleadingly at first, before the anger started seeping back into her eyes. And the look that was like a cornered animal.

**Alex**

I mean it. Please just…get out. I can't think with you here. I can't breathe. You're smothering me.

**Marissa**

_What_?

**Alex**

You heard me. I can't cope with you here all the time, it's too much. I feel like I'm caged in. I can't deal with this.

**Marissa**

So what, you're just giving in?

Alex stalled, opening her mouth to respond but hesitating slightly. She was trying to keep herself composed, but the truth was she could feel the well of tears behind her eyes. Marissa could probably see them too. She could probably hear her heart thumping against her chest, and the blood booming through her ears.

**Alex**

Yeah, I guess I am.

Her voice was low and cracked, but right then it sounded like the loudest thing anyone had said. Immediately she regretted it. She wanted to take it back, especially when she saw the instant reaction in Marissa's eyes. Like someone had just run through her with a sword. The depth of hurt that welled into her eyes was harrowing.

**Marissa**

You know what, you're a fucking coward. You said you loved me. You said you trusted me. But obviously neither of those were true. But they are for me. I love you. And I trusted you. I thought that meant something.

She barely managed to get through what she wanted to say, as her voice caught and her lungs burnt. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt like her entire world had just landed on top of her, burying her alive. And Alex had done that to her. Alex, who she never thought, never suspected, could do something like that. She had taken the risk, pushed herself to get over her past pain, for what? To fall in the deepest love she had ever been in only to be crushed, yet again?

**Alex**

Marissa I'm…

**Marissa**

Fuck you Alex.

Not even being able to look at the blonde anymore, Marissa turned away and walked out of the office, slamming the door on the way out. She had seen the hurt in Alex's eyes too, but it rang hollow right now. If she was in so much pain, then how could she do this? It wasn't fair, and she didn't understand. But clearly, Alex had no intention of letting her understand. She didn't want her.

**The Purple Heart**

**10:36pm**

Tonight the club was packed. Eager club goers danced with the beat of the sensual music that Shelly was working, track after track of grind worthy beats that took over your body and made you sway. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. Everyone that was, apart from Alex.

The blonde stood out on the walkway, leaning on the railing as she peered down over her club. She watched everyone numbly, making her way through yet another whiskey, and smoked another cigarette from the pack she had found in her office. The one she kept there for really bad days. This, she figured, counted as a really bad day.

Numbed ice blue eyes caught sight of one particular girl down on the edge of the dance floor, who moved poetically with the beat of the music. Her black, smooth skin glistened under the lights, and her dark brown eyes sparkled, as she looked up toward the walkway. Alex didn't feel anything. But she reacted on instinct; something forced her to become what she had always been. So she kept looking at the hot girl, a girl that she would have had no problem with devouring before she had met Marissa. Downing the mouthful of strong liquid she had left, Alex reached down and placed the glass on the floor, before standing upright again and looking back at the hot girl who gestured at her questioningly. Alex knew what she was asking. If she was interested in her. Smirking ever so subtly, the blonde gestured back, getting the other girl to turn around. She did, slowly, still swaying her hips. When she turned to face Alex again, she lifted an eyebrow, making Alex smirk a little more. Then, the girl wiggled her fingers, indicating Alex to come down to the dance floor. She shook her head, then used the same gesture to tell the girl to come up to her.

**Elle**

Thought it was a no smoking club?

Alex took the last drag of her smoke before she dropped it to the floor, and stood on it to put it out. She nodded slightly, before letting the smoke out again. The hot girl stalked closer to her, and then stopped in front of her, leaning on the railing with her elbow. Alex let her eyes roam over her, making herself believe that she was turned on. She wasn't, but she should have been. The other girl was gorgeous.

**Alex**

Ya well, it doesn't hurt to know the boss.

**Elle**

Names Elle.

**Alex**

Alex.

With the amount that she had been drinking all day, and the fact that she had swallowed a couple of pills that she probably could have done without, Alex highly doubted that she was going to remember Elle's name after five minutes. But she didn't need to know. It had never bothered her much in the past. After all, names were inconsequential.

**Elle**

Oh I know who you are.

**Alex**

Good.

She was relieved that she didn't have to do the whole song and dance with this girl. Obviously, Elle was aware of her reputation, and she was okay with what was going to happen. It was why she had caught her attention in the first place. Alex was glad that her reputation hadn't completely abandoned her. It worked for her, when she wanted it to. She didn't need to explain, as she stepped forward, slipping her hands over Elle's exposed midriff, and brought their mouths together.

**Another club**

**Same time**

**Bartender**

Really? Another one?

Marissa looked up at the bartender, after indicating him to come and fill her shot glass up once again. She had a beer sitting in front of her too. She had been sitting on this barstool for some time now, she wasn't quite sure just how long. It didn't matter. All she wanted to do was burn the memories of Alex out of her head. All she had managed to do so far was get very drunk. That just meant she hadn't had enough yet.

**Marissa**

Yeah. Why don't you just leave the bottle on the bar?

She suggested quietly, sliding a note onto the bar to cover the price of the vodka bottle. The bartender sighed, looking at her with sympathy.

**Bartender**

You sure are trying to drown your sorrows.

He pointed out, filling the shot glass up again. This girl had had more than he would usually give out. But she was taking it really well. Better than most of the customers that came in here, actually. Plus, she looked like she needed it.

**Marissa**

Well it's not working yet.

**Bartender**

I could help.

He suggested, not being able to miss the opportunity to offer his 'services' to the gorgeous woman in front of him. She was still in the state of mind where he wouldn't be taking advantage, so he figured asking her wouldn't hurt.

**Marissa**

You'd need a sex change first.

Marissa responded, not annoyed that he had come on to her. Just simply turning him down in a way he knew it wasn't because she thought he wasn't hot enough or something. Whatever it was that guys thought when they got turned down. He just nodded in understanding, which figured, since they were in a gay bar. He was probably hoping that she was bi, or just stepped in here because it was the first bar she saw. Which was almost true. She came in here because it was the first bar at a safe enough distance away from The Purple Heart.

**Bartender**

Fair enough.

Marissa took hold of her shot glass, and downed it quickly as the bartender walked away to serve another customer. It wasn't incredibly busy. There were a few people sat around the bar, and the place was about half full. It was just a quiet get away that people liked to come to. Marissa was glad she had chosen this place. What she didn't notice though, was Katie slip into the stool next to her. She looked at Marissa for a moment, before indicating toward the bartender that she wanted a beer. He gave her it straight away, and she took a drink before looking at Marissa again, and clearing her throat.

**Katie**

Bad day?

Marissa looked up, frowning in surprise and annoyance when she saw Katie sitting next to her.

**Marissa**

What're you doing here?

**Katie**

Same as you, it looks like.

Marissa looked at her client for a moment longer, before letting her eyes search the immediate vicinity for Taylor. She didn't find her.

**Marissa**

Where's Taylor?

**Katie**

Where's Alex?

Katie countered combatively, seeing no sign of the blonde goddess. Marissa withdrew immediately, a wave of hurt rushing through her eyes as she looked back down at the bar. She sighed slowly, before clearing her throat softly as she reached for the bottle again.

**Marissa**

I just want to be left alone.

She said quietly, but loud enough for Katie to hear her, as she poured out another shot. This was what she really didn't need right now. Katie reminded her of more complications between her and Alex, and the blonde was what she was trying to forget right now.

**Katie**

Hey, you came into my bar.

Katie protested as she watched the brunette next to her down yet another vodka shot.

**Katie**

I know how it feels, you know. The pain.

**Marissa**

Of what?

**Katie**

Rejection. That's what you're doing here right? Because Alex rejected you? She broke up with you, didn't she?

Marissa nodded subtly, numbly, Alex's words echoing through her mind and piercing through her heart yet again.

**Marissa**

Yeah.

**Katie**

She's an idiot.

**Marissa**

You don't get to say that.

**Katie**

I don't really want to _say _anything.

Marissa looked up at Katie again. She knew that she had to be drunk if Katie was making some sort of sense. She knew she had to be drunk for thinking that maybe, just maybe, Katie could help get Alex out of her head. And she knew she was definitely drunk, because she didn't stop her from placing a soft, testing kiss on her lips. It felt different. It felt empty. But as she let Katie deepen the kiss, she began to feel a blackness move into her head. It blanked out everything. This was exactly what she needed.

**The Purple Heart**

**Same time**

Kicking the door shut with her foot, Alex didn't break the crushing kiss with Elle. Their breathing was erratic, as their hands roamed anywhere and everywhere.

**Elle**

I heard you were off the market?

**Alex**

You heard wrong.

Alex responded, barely pulling her mouth away from Elle's to respond. She let the other woman strip her of her top, leaving her exposed in her black bra. Elle looked at her hungrily, letting her hand glide over smooth skin.

**Elle**

You are so fucking hot.

Alex leaned in to start the kissing again, and pulled Elle's top off before starting quick work of the belt on her jeans. She grunted slightly, as she was backed up into a wall, where Elle started to take charge. Alex let her kiss and nip along her neck, feeling her own belt being undone quickly. And through the haze of substance and pain, she realised that she didn't want this. She wasn't this person anymore. She had felt what it was like to be in love, and to love. She had felt what it was like to be in a real relationship. One that she had just sabotaged. For what? Because she was too weak to tell the truth? Marissa had pushed through her pain to open up, Alex knew that she at least owed it to her to try and do the same. She didn't want this life again. She didn't want empty fucks in her office, or at her house, or at some girls house. She didn't want to be emotionally detached. She wanted Marissa, and everything came with her.

**Elle**

What's wrong?

Alex blinked, coming back to reality as she realised that Elle was ceasing in her movements because she had. The girl panted, frowning slightly in confusion.

**Alex**

I can't. I can't do this.

**Elle**

Of course you can do this.

**Alex**

I said no. Get off me.

She gave Elle a sharp push to force her backward, and ran a hand through her hair before fastening her belt again.

**Elle**

You're fucking crazy. One minute your hot the next your cold, what is that?

**Alex**

I don't have to explain myself to you. Now get out of my office before I have you escorted out of my office.

Elle glared at her for a moment indignantly, before huffing as she picked her shirt up from the floor and started to fasten her belt as she headed out of the office. Yanking the door open, she walked out quickly, not noticing the other person walking up toward the office and walking straight into her.

**Jojo**

Sorry. Is Alex in there?

Jojo asked slowly, frowning ever so slightly at finding a half naked girl bolting out of her friend's office. The only half naked girl that should have been anywhere near Alex's office was Marissa. She watched as the girl sniggered as she pulled on her top.

**Elle**

Yeah, that crazy bitch is in here.

**Jojo**

Hey, watch your mouth. That's my best friend you're talking about there.

**Elle**

Then I suggest you get your friend some help.

Jojo moved aside to let the angry girl walk away, and then walked the couple of steps distance to Alex's office. She saw her straight away, leaning on the wall, bent over slightly. Jojo narrowed her eyes, not knowing what Alex was doing for a moment. But after a second of watching her, it dawned on her that she was crying.

**Jojo**

Alex?

Stepping in further and shutting the door to drown out the music, Jojo saw Alex's top on the floor. She guessed that the disgruntled girl that she had just seen wasn't happy because Alex had changed her mind about doing her. But the only way that Alex would get half way there anyway, would be if Marissa weren't her girlfriend anymore.

Alex looked up, not hiding the tears sliding down her face. As soon as she saw her friend, she couldn't hold anything back anymore. As soon as Jojo got near her, Alex grabbed her, holding her tightly as she cried into her shoulder. Jojo held on just as tight, not really needing to know what was going on. All she needed to know was that Alex was in pain, and she needed her.


	18. The Almost Truth

A/N – After some serious debating with myself, I decided to stick to my original story plan, that I had in mind when I started to write the story. I'm basically re-telling the story of a close friend of mine, with just a couple of tweaked details. I wanted to do this because I think she's a hero, and to remind her and perhaps maybe others if I'm lucky that hero's don't always have to be perfect. Herein contains a subject that people may find uncomfortable, and will continue to the next chapter also. I'm sorry if it offends anyone, that is absolutely not my intention. And I have the utmost respect for anyone that has had a similar experience, unfortunately, I know too many people that have.

**Chapter Eighteen – The Almost Truth**

**Cooper Residence**

**9:15am**

Marissa liked it when she was half way between wake and sleep. It was comfortable, and cosy and warm. She liked the lingering dreams, as well as feeling the softness of the body lying beside her. But this morning she wasn't getting that feeling she loved so much. There was something, down in her stomach, that was making her feel uncomfortable. She began to get the distinct feeling that something was wrong. Very wrong.

**Marissa**

Holy shit…

Something was definitely wrong all right. Leaping up into a sitting position, taking the bed sheet with her. She cringed immediately, gritting her teeth as the wave of pain slammed into her head like a fire truck. Instantly, the memory of the vodka bottle filled her mind. It set off the series of memories. Her fight with Alex, their break up, the bartender, the booze, and then Katie.

**Katie**

Hey, you okay?

**Marissa**

Oh no. Oh god no.

Opening her eyes again, Marissa saw the shape of legs and feet next to her under the sheets. She hoped that this was a bad dream. She hoped it all was. That Alex was lying next to her right now, ready to make fun at her for dreaming such a stupid series of events. But really, she knew it wasn't true.

**Katie**

What's the matter? Do you feel sick?

Katie enquired, supposedly nicely. If it was at any other time, pre Alex, Marissa thought she probably would have appreciated her kindness. But she didn't. She hated it. She hated her being in her bed, the bed that she was meant to share with Alex. What had she done?

**Marissa**

Get out.

**Katie**

What?

**Marissa**

It was a mistake. A very huge, _giant_ mistake.

**Katie**

But…

**Marissa**

Katie I was drunk. I was in pain. What did you expect me to do? Wake up and tell you that I love you? I'm sorry, I don't. And I don't want you here.

Hurriedly, Marissa moved to the side of the bed, wrapping the top sheet around herself as she stood up. She wanted to get as much distance as she could between Katie and herself. Even drunk, this was a horrendously stupid thing to do. Not only because she had used the girl in her bed, who loved her, but because she had hurt herself. And she had betrayed Alex. She had just risked the future of their relationship, the hope of getting back together. How could she have been so stupid. Why couldn't she have gone home after leaving The Purple Heart, or at least to Summer's?

Marissa practically ran to the bathroom, locking it shut behind her once she got there. She was safe. She didn't want to deal with the consequence of her mistake. Didn't want to deal with Katie, who probably didn't know what the hell was going on right now. Marissa regretted that she had to be dragged into this. It would have been easier if love wasn't involved, but unfortunately, that was the case.

**Marissa**

What the fuck did I do?

After leaning against the bathroom door for a few minutes, breathing in and out slowly to try and calm down, Marissa moved to get into the shower. The hot spray of water only made her feel fractionally better, as she washed herself clean of last night. After she had finished, she towelled herself dry, and pulled out some clothes from the draws in the bathroom. For once she felt glad that she kept some extra clothes in here, that she didn't put in her closet because she didn't wear them that often. It meant she didn't have to go back into her bedroom just yet.

As she finished getting dressed, and stepped up to the door wondering if she was brave enough to unlock the door and go out, she heard the doorbell ring a couple of times. Sighing, she slid the lock back and poked her head out into the hallway. Seeing no one there, she crept out and stealthily walked down the hallway. But as she peered into the room, she saw that Katie was still in there, currently pulling a top over her head. Marissa fled further down the hall, and headed down the stairs to answer her door.

**Marissa**

Oh god no…

Her heart sank quickly, as the air around her became dry and thin. She could not believe how unlucky she was right now. In the very least, she had wanted to think about what she would say. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Nothing was supposed to have happened like this.

**Alex**

I'm not here to fight Riss. I want to talk.

**Marissa**

Alex I…

**Alex**

I'm ready.

**Marissa**

What?

Marissa's brain ceased in its frantic chaos, and she looked at her, whatever she was right now, still frowning a little bit.

**Alex**

I love you, and I'm ready to prove it. I want to tell you, anything you want to know. Everything that I should have told you before.

Marissa opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Alex was ready? She chose now to be ready? She felt a wave of relief and love sweep through her, but there was still this horrible nagging feeling pulling at the back of her mind. All she wanted to do was hug Alex, and tell her that it was okay. That she would listen to her, and they could start again. They could move on. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Katie approaching the door.

**Marissa**

Alex, I made a huge mistake, and I'm so, so sorry.

**Alex**

What're you talking about?

Alex wondered, frowning a little at Marissa's odd response. Actually, she was acting weird, like she was standing on hot coals. After pretty much breaking down on Jojo last night, Alex had explained about their fight, and about her fears of being rejected by Marissa when she finally learnt the truth. Even Jojo didn't know the truth behind her fears, but her friend hadn't needed to know. Jojo had always had a way of making things simple. She made them better. And after talking to her last night, Alex felt confident that she could brave the pain and fear she felt for Marissa. She knew she had come early, but she hadn't been able to stop herself.

**Alex**

What've…oh my god. Marissa, what've you done?

As soon as Alex saw Katie by the door, she already knew what had happened. With the realisation that Marissa had slept with someone else, especially Katie, Alex felt herself shatter. Okay so they had been broken up, technically Marissa hadn't done anything wrong. But she had. Picturing them together made her feel sick, and it made her feel like a fool. After what had happened last night, and coming here ready to give Marissa what she wanted, Alex felt used somehow. Which was why she turned to leave. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to see this.

**Marissa**

Alex wait.

Taking off after Alex as the blonde marched toward her jeep, Marissa left Katie standing at the doorstep. All that she could focus on right now was making things right with Alex. She followed her out to the jeep, where Alex flailed aggressively, and shouted angrily as she kicked the front tire before whirling around.

**Alex**

You are so full of shit. You know that? You are full of shit and I hate you for it.

**Marissa**

It didn't mean anything. I was hurting and I was drunk…

**Alex**

Oh stop with the excuses. I was drunk too, but I stopped myself from fucking the girl in my office last night. You know why? Because she wasn't you.

Marissa remained silent, watching Alex grimace as she put her hands on her head and turned in a circle angrily, trying to keep herself under control.

**Alex**

You said you loved me. Obviously I'm easy to get over.

**Marissa**

Alex…

**Alex**

Don't you dare try and justify yourself. You blamed _me_. You said _I_ gave in. But here we are. You went and fucked the first girl you found after you left? A girl that happens to be in love with you?

Alex squeaked, pointing up at the doorway where Katie was still hovering.

**Alex**

You were supposed to fight for me. You were supposed to believe in me. You punked out on me. Now it really is over.

Alex tore her eyes away from Marissa, and got into her jeep quickly. As she started the engine up, she ignored the brunette's pleas to stop, and then pulled out of the driveway quickly.

**Cohen/Roberts residence**

**3 days later**

**2:23pm**

Summer stood, arms crossed, against the doorframe to the guest bedroom silently looking at the Marissa's shaped lump under the white sheet. Her best friend had turned up on her doorstep 3 days ago, sobbing and wasted. It wasn't that she hadn't seen Marissa like that before, but something in her eyes had really made Summer scared. Like the last thread of light had snapped inside of her life long friend, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She hated feeling like that. She hated seeing Marissa so broken. After sobbing through her story, Marissa had eventually cried to sleep. It took both her and Seth to carry the tall brunette into the bedroom, and she hadn't come out since. Only to use the bathroom from time to time. She hadn't eaten. She hadn't changed or showered. It was like she had just given up.

**Mia**

Auntie 'Issa, is you okay?

Summer had come in here to find her daughter, who had apparently sneaked into the room and under the covers with Marissa. She didn't really understand what was going on. All she knew was that Marissa was here. They had told her that her Aunt was sick, so she needed lots of rest.

**Marissa**

Yeah baby, I'm just tired. How you doing?

Marissa looked at the little girl that had crawled up beside her and started playing with her hair. The sight of Mia made her feel a little better, but not by much. But despite how much pain she was in right now, she refused to let it touch Mia. She couldn't ignore her; she was just a little girl.

**Mia**

I'm 'kay.

Mia informed her happily, shrugging a little bit. She was unaware, as was Marissa, of Summer's presence by the door. Neither of them knew that Seth came up too, putting his arm around Summer comfortingly.

**Mia**

Auntie 'Issa, where Alec?

**Marissa**

I don't know honey.

Mia sighed, still fiddling with Marissa's hair gently. She moved up to snuggle into her, happy when Marissa pulled her closer and wrapped her arm around her before kissing her on the forehead.

**Mia**

I miss Alec.

**Marissa**

Me too.

Summer sighed, moving from leaning on the doorframe as she pulled the door too and walked down the hall, Seth in tow.

**Summer**

That's it. I can't take it anymore.

**Seth**

Summer, whatever you have in mind, don't do it.

**Summer**

What I have in mind is letting Alex see just what 'rage blackout' really means. Do you really want to see Coop like this? Do you really think Alex is fairing much better? They can get through this. Its just gunna take some ass kicking to make one of them realise that.

Seth thought for a moment, knowing that Summer was probably right. Or maybe not so much knowing, but hoping. How the situation could right itself, he wasn't too sure. But if someone was going to spark a little bit of hope, it would be Summer. Pregnant or not, she could still kick ass.

**The Purple Heart**

**4:30pm**

Summer looked around as she stepped in through the front door, hoping to find Alex quickly so she could get on with her mission. But she didn't find her anywhere; the place was full of staff, and the usual amount of customers there to get an early dinner or quick drink.

**Ryan**

Summer, hey.

Summer turned around, smiling as Ryan came in through the door after her. As he got up to her, she gave him a quick hug.

**Summer**

Hey Ryan. I'm here to kill your sister.

**Ryan**

Oh. Should I be worried that you'll succeed?

**Summer**

If she doesn't listen to me, yeah, you should be.

Ryan nodded, getting the meaning of what the little raven-haired woman was saying. He took in a deep breath, as he looked around for his sister too.

**Ryan**

How's Marissa?

**Summer**

Not so good. She hasn't moved out of bed for 3 days. What about Alex?

Ryan shrugged helplessly, wafting in the general direction of the stairs.

**Ryan**

I have no idea. She hasn't been home yet.

**Summer**

How did this get so bad?

**Ryan**

I'd love to say I don't know, but I do. I just can't say it for her; she'd never forgive me.

**Summer**

Whatever it is that she's hiding, it can't be this bad, can it?

**Ryan**

She thinks it is.

Summer sighed, running a hand through her hair before following Ryan toward the stairs, as he started moving first. Silently, they made their way up to Alex's office, finding the door shut. Out of politeness, Ryan knocked loud enough to be heard over the music inside. It wasn't particularly loud, but he wanted to make sure that Alex heard. As of yet, he had respected his sister's privacy. He had tried to get her to talk, but she just kept retreating from him. But enough was enough. He needed to make sure she was okay.

**Summer**

Alex open the door.

Summer yelled loudly, making Ryan start slightly, unprepared for her shout. But the order had obviously startled Alex to move, because they heard something thud onto the floor inside, followed by a couple of other smaller thuds before the music was shut off.

**Alex**

Go away.

Alex yelled irritably from inside. Summer put her hands on her hips, scoffing flippantly.

**Summer**

Yeah, that'll work. Just open the damn door; we need to talk to you.

**Alex**

I don't…I don't care. Just leave me alone.

Ryan and Summer looked at one another, frowning in alarm and concern as they looked for confirmation in each other that they had just heard what they thought they heard. Alex's speech was slow and slurred, indicating that she was wasted or worse. It was Ryan that knew it was worse. He had seen his sister high a lot of times, she never really responded well to anything she took. That's why she took them. Grabbing the handle, he tried to open the door, but found it locked. Sighing, resigned to getting in to see his sister, he moved Summer back a little, before raising his leg and kicking the door. The lock broke easily, and the door swung open.

**Alex**

_Ryan!_

As Ryan and Summer walked into the office, Alex stood up quickly from her chair by the coffee table in the middle of the room. But as soon as she was upright, she wobbled before falling back into her chair, unprepared for standing up so quickly. She blinked hard, trying to force the haziness out of her eyes and head, but it didn't work.

**Ryan**

Alex, what've you taken?

Ryan demanded worriedly, rushing to her side and kneeling in front of her. As her head drooped down, he cupped her face to lift it back up, trying to get her to wake up a little bit. She was pale, and exhausted and pretty strung out. He wished that he had come sooner. He should have known that she needed him, not space to think.

**Alex**

I'm fine.

**Ryan**

You're not fine, you're using again.

Ryan responded, not angrily or judgemental, just matter of fact and worried. Alex sniffled, looking away from him for a moment before nodding in defeat. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but more followed after. Ryan turned her face toward him again, before leaning in and pulling her forward and holding her tightly. Alex didn't fight him; she was too weak to fight him. She knew she needed him, she knew she had lost control.

Summer stood where she was, watching brother console sister, still feeling the sense of shock at what state they had found Alex in. Not only that, but what Ryan had said. Alex had used drugs before? Is that what she was hiding? She didn't want Marissa to know she had been an addict, or something? But from the atmosphere in the room, Summer knew that there was something more. There was still something underlying. The drugs were something to numb pain; meaning that there was something causing the pain and that's what Alex didn't want to talk about. She felt like she was intruding right now, as she just watched Alex hold onto Ryan, crying quietly. She put a hand over her mouth, feeling the sting of her own tears, not being able to ignore the emotion around her.

**Alex**

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Ryan.

Alex muttered in Ryan's shoulder making him pull back slightly. He kept one arm on her shoulder, as the other ran through her hair, before stopping on the side of her face, getting her to look at him again.

**Ryan**

Hey, it's okay. You're gunna be fine, okay? You'll get through this. I'll be with you every step of the way.

**Alex**

You must be so disappointed in me.

**Ryan**

No. I could never be disappointed in you. You're my hero Alex. I love you.

**Alex**

I love you too.

Alex smiled faintly at her brother, thanking the stars that she was lucky enough to have him there. No matter what she did, he always stuck by her. And she had put him through a lot. Then, her eyes moved over to where Summer was hovering, which made her gulp a little bit, suddenly afraid of why she was there. That and she had just heard something that she would most likely tell Marissa.

**Alex**

You're here for Marissa.

**Summer**

Yeah, I am. I came to convince you to talk to her.

**Alex**

No.

**Summer**

Alex, please. She's a wreck. There must be some way that you can work this out with her.

**Alex**

I said no Summer.

**Summer**

Because of Katie?

Alex sighed, cringing at the memory of finding Katie at Marissa's house. She had been thinking a lot, in all this time alone. Katie wasn't the root of their problems. She wasn't what was stopping her from talking to Marissa, even though it still stung. Actually, she knew full well what the root of their problems were. And that was herself.

**Alex**

No, I don't care about her. She just…Marissa is better off without me.

She declared quietly, but with a conviction behind her voice that surprised both Summer and Ryan. The blonde haired man drew back from his sister a little bit, looking at her in shock. She just stared back at him, completely calm. Whether that was because of the drugs or that she really believed it, he couldn't tell. She believed it somewhere, because she said it. And it sounded like something Alex would say. Like she was bad for Marissa because she had demons.

**Ryan**

Alex, don't give up. You just need to talk to her.

Alex frowned at him angrily, pushing herself up into a standing position. Ryan stood up too, keeping hold of her elbow, watching her keep still for a moment while she got her bearings.

**Alex**

I'm not talking to her, okay? Give it up. I just can't do it.

She snapped, shrugging out of Ryan's grasp and walking around the table and toward the door of the office. She swayed a little bit from time to time, but she managed to keep her balance and remain upright. Ryan and Summer followed closely behind.

**Ryan**

Alex you need to stop torturing yourself. Let it go, please.

Whirling around, Alex flailed as she registered Ryan's words.

**Alex **

Let it go?

She yelled in response, pushing him away from her angrily, tears springing into her eyes again.

**Alex**

You know what Ryan? That's a really good fucking idea, I should have thought about it before. Which part do you want me to let go of exactly, huh? Being held down against my will? Being raped? Maybe the beating I took after it? Why don't you try going through that, then see how easy it is to just let go.

She yelled hysterically, pushing Ryan every time he stood near her again. Everything came flooding back at her all at once. The memory of what happened, and every single feeling associated with it. It wasn't so much the rape that had gotten to her; it was the feeling of blame that came after it. She blamed herself, she was angry and guilty and she knew that somehow it had been her fault. It hadn't been, it never was the victims fault. But that's how she felt. And she was terrified that everyone would see her just like that, as a victim. That's exactly what she didn't want to be. She didn't want pity, or sympathy or to be looked at like she was a weak little girl. She expected people to look at her differently if they knew, to be disgusted and appalled. As though if they knew the truth, if Marissa knew the truth, she couldn't love her anymore. There would be nothing there to love.

**Summer**

Oh my god…

**Alex**

_Don't. _Don't you dare pity me.

Alex turned out of the room, walking quickly down the walkway toward the stairs. It all became so very clear now. The reason why Alex had refused to talk to Marissa, or anyone else. But she was wrong, Summer didn't pity her. She was her friend, she felt bad for her. No one should have to go through anything like that, but pity wasn't something she could associate with Alex.

**Lisa**

_Alex!_

Straight after the desperate scream came a terrible, deafening crashing of something on the metal stairs. A crashing that seemed to last for an eternity. Ryan was the first to move, hearing his sister's name being screamed before the gut wrenching noise. As he ran out, Summer right behind him, he got to the railing just in time to see his sister's limp body hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. He could see from where he was, that she was bleeding, her limbs twisted and battered.

No one moved for a moment. The overhead music stopped suddenly, and the silence that boomed through the club started to give way to shocked and panicked whispers. Lisa was the first person to actually move. Jumping over the bar and sprinting her way across the space between it and her friend. She dropped to her knees heavily as she got to the unconscious blonde, her hands shaking as she reached out to her, tears already starting to roll down her check.

**Ryan**

Don't move her!

Ryan yelled, making Lisa jump back and then look up at him. Coming back to reality, Ryan ran down the walkway and down the stairs as fast as he could. Getting to Alex, he knelt down close to her.

**Ryan**

She's still breathing. Someone call an ambulance.

**Hospital**

**5 hours later**

It felt like an eternity. Waiting rooms were the most impersonal places on earth, and made time seem to come to a grinding halt. There was an uneasy silence floating through it, like no one dared to speak. No one could speak. Not through a haze of worry and numbness.

In contrast to the slowness of the waiting room, back at the club everything had happened so quickly. The paramedics had arrived what felt like immediately after someone had placed the call. They had worked on the motionless Alex, relating alien technical terms to one another about her condition. They had been quick to take her away. Strapping her to a spinal board with a collar, in case of damage to her neck and back. Everything had felt like super speed. But time had only deteriorated since then. Ryan and Summer had been left to wait helplessly in the ER, being forced to let the Doctors take the injured blonde away to work on her. They had spoken the alien language too. Information on her BP and breathing, possible haemathorax, fractured femur, head trauma. The Doctors had rushed her into a trauma bay as soon as she had been wheeled in, trying and failing to raise a response.

Ryan and Summer had been left alone with no translators as to what was going on. Both playing the scenario over and over in their heads. What if they had stopped Alex from walking away? What if they had made her sit in her office to come down? The maybes weren't helping. Summer had called Seth as Ryan had called Emma. It had been Summer to suggest that Emma take Holly to her house, to leave her with Mia and their nanny so that Seth could drive Marissa to the hospital. She didn't know where the idea came from exactly, because her mind wasn't at its sharpest right now. She was still shaking, her eyes stinging from crying. After pacing for twenty minutes, Ryan made her sit down, but she had clung to him, making him sit down too. It had been some forty minutes later that Emma, Ryan and an extremely terrified looking Marissa had turned up at the hospital.

They were in a different waiting room now. A smaller, quieter one. After the ER Doctors had done their business, they had sent Alex upstairs. A short Doctor had come out to talk to them, waffling on about things they didn't understand. He droned out his useless medical terms, failing to deliver any sense of security or hope to the five anxious friends. Instead he just had a nurse take them to the waiting room upstairs, whilst Alex went into some kind of surgery.

**Dr Gregory**

Alex Kelly?

A tall, middle aged willowy man spoke out loudly, looking down at the chart he was holding for a moment before looking up to scan the groups of people scattered around the silent waiting room. He looked directly at Ryan, instantly knowing that he was part of the Kelly party. He looked just like his patient. For a brief moment, he looked over the group of people, feeling the sadness they felt. He had seen so many people come and go over his years of being a Doctor. Felt all of their emotions, the hope and fear, loss and relief. It was hard not to feel it. Sometimes it was easier to have a patient with no one. Sometimes the worst people affected were the family that had to be aware of everything, make all the decisions.

**Ryan**

Yeah, that's us.

Ryan responded immediately, ceasing in his pacing of the short waiting room. He hadn't sat down since they had come up here, not being able to swallow the feelings sweeping through him. Not just worry, or guilt, or sadness. But he felt pain; he had the sensation of being lost somehow. It was overwhelming, and he knew it was coming from Alex. She was his twin; they were part of one another. She couldn't go through something as huge as this without him feeling it too. He had experience it before, when they were 18. He had felt the pain she had felt, after someone had found her out on the street after her attack and got her to a hospital. This time he feared that she wouldn't fair as well though, physically speaking. She had looked so small, lying there on the floor. Blood had been flowing from her head, and a couple of other places. Her leg was bent where it shouldn't have been able to bend. And as the paramedics were taking her away, the blood had started to spurt from her mouth as she coughed and gasped. She was so fragile.

As Ryan stopped pacing, the other four began to move too. Marissa had been curled up in her seat, her head resting on Emma's shoulder. The redhead had made her sit down; worried that she was about to pass out. They had remained like that for a long while, her stroking through Marissa's hair gently to try and keep her calm. The brunette hadn't said much through their wait; she just looked pale and subdued. Summer and Seth were sat nearby, in a very similar position. Now the five of them moved toward the Doctor, following him down the clinical white hallway, out of earshot of the other people waiting.

**Dr Gregory**

I'm Dr Gregory, the consulting neurosurgeon on Miss Kelly's case. Are you her next of kin?

**Ryan**

Yeah, she's my sister. Our parents are…they're not involved. I'm Ryan Kelly.

**Dr Gregory**

Okay Ryan. I don't know how much you've been told, so I'll take you through this from the start. Alex came into the Emergency Room presenting with signs of a haemathorax. What that means is that during her fall down the stairs, she broke a couple of ribs. One of them punctured her lung, letting it fill up with blood. The Doctors downstairs put in a chest drain, and they also had to intabate her to help her breathe so she wasn't struggling as much. Alex was then sent for a full body CT scan. We wanted to take a look at the extent of her head trauma, and also check her chest and abdomen to make sure there was no free fluid in there. Luckily, there isn't and preliminary indications show that the chest drain is working nicely. We gave her some blood, she did loose quite a bit. After her scan, she was sent into surgery with the orthopaedic surgeon. She can't be here to talk to you, but the surgery went very well. Alex fractured her left femur, so it had to be pinned by the surgeon in order to heal properly. She also sustained, as I mentioned, a few broken ribs. They should make a good recovery. Is there anything you would like to ask me about any of this, before I go over the extent of the head trauma your sister sustained?

The Doctor stopped, giving the group chance to take everything in. They looked overwhelmed and terrified, and he thought that Alex was lucky to have a group of people so worried about her.

**Ryan**

She won't need surgery for her lung? The chest drain takes care of that?

**Dr Gregory**

Yes, that's right. In some cases surgery is required, but Alex is responding well to the drain. I doubt she'll have to go into surgery. The blood is coming out nicely. The thorasic surgeon is keeping a close eye on her.

**Marissa**

Is she…is she on a ventilator?

**Dr Gregory**

Yes, she is. The puncture to the lung, and the blood filling it, causes great strain. The ventilator is there just as an aid. It'll help let her start to recover without as much pressure. The chest drain will probably be taken out in a couple of days, at which time we should be able to take Alex off of the ventilator. The scans showed no other damage to her neck or windpipe, so we expect her to be able to breathe on her own with no complications.

**Marissa**

Okay. So, I mean, what kind of damage did she suffer to her head?

**Dr Gregory**

The CT scan showed that Alex has some contusions on her brain from the fall, that has caused a substantial amount of swelling. When she came into the ER, the Doctors gave her a drug called propofol. I'm going to keep administering her that, effectively inducing a coma. It'll give her chance to start recuperating. I'll monitor her closely to make sure the swelling goes down properly. When that happens, I'll be able to wean her off of the drug, and hopefully she'll be able to wake up by herself.

**Ryan**

Hopefully?

**Dr Gregory**

It's a risk, that your sister could stay in a coma. I'm afraid all I can do after treating the contusions is to monitor her progress, and give you the best medical advice from then on.

**Ryan**

Oh god…

Ryan wheezed, lurching forward slightly as he put a hand over his stomach as thought it would help stop the burning sick feeling inside. He turned away from the Doctor, breathing ragged like he had just been punched in the gut. This was all some giant mistake. The fall couldn't possibly have happened. Alex was waiting around the corner somewhere, ready to jump out on them. They would be mad at her at first, but then the relief would kick in and they would forgive her. She wasn't hooked up to a machine so she could breathe, and god knew what else.

**Emma**

Ryan…

Ryan didn't really register his girlfriends voice, it sounded like an echo coming from somewhere far, far away. The walls and floor spun around him, disorientating him as he stepped further away from everyone else. He blinked, trying to make it stop, but it didn't. And his eyes stung anyway, from the tears that were rolling out of his eyes. He couldn't see. He couldn't breathe, there was something heavy sitting on his chest, it was making him gasp, it made his body shake. He couldn't stand anymore, his limbs felt heavy. So he knelt down, leaning his head forward to cradle in his hands as he cried.

Marissa let go of Emma's hand, slowly walking over to where Ryan was knelt, not rubbing away her own tears. She knelt down too, putting her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. When he looked up, she just looked at him intently, before guiding him forward and wrapping her arms around him.

**Marissa**

She'll fight it.

The brunette whispered, her voice cracked and soft from the emotion sweeping through her right now. Everything was beyond fucked up. Alex being in the hospital, the way they had left things. She hoped desperately that the last thing Alex remembered of her wasn't going to be that she had slept with Katie. She couldn't help but think for a moment that she may never have the opportunity to set things right, say the things that she felt. She may never get to talk to her again, or see her eyes sparkling in the morning sunlight. She may never get to do all the things she loved to do with the blonde, or watch the tiny insignificant things that she loved about her. But then she remembered who she was thinking about. Alex was a lot of things, but most of all she was a fighter. She had fought all her life to get the things she wanted. She had been determined and strong, and Marissa was holding onto that fact now.

**Summer**

Can we see her?

Summer wondered, sniffling a little as she pried her eyes away from Ryan and Marissa before she burst out into a flood of tears again.

**Dr Gregory**

Alex is in the ICU recovery right now. They only let one or two people into the unit, so I'm going to have to ask that only the immediate family see her for tonight.

Dr Gregory responded solemnly, tucking the clipboard under his arm as he looked at Summer regretfully as he spoke. She nodded in understanding, and then turned back to Ryan and Marissa as Ryan began to stand up. He took a breath in, wiping his eyes with one hand and held Marissa's hand with the other. She stood up after him, looking at him questioningly.

**Ryan**

You should come in with me.

**Marissa**

Ryan, I don't know if she'd want me there.

**Ryan**

She loves you. Trust me, she would want you in there. So do I.

Marissa stared at him for a moment longer, before nodding in acceptance. She knew Alex loved her, but she had hurt her. But did it really matter now? She was lying in a coma; it made everything seem so insignificant.

**Dr Gregory**

Are you related to Alex?

Marissa opened her mouth, but stopped short on the answer. What was she to Alex right now? She narrowed her eyes, thinking about what she should say. They weren't related. And technically they were nothing but exes now. But they were more than that, they both knew it. They would never just be exes.

**Emma**

She's her girlfriend.

Emma answered for her, seeing the hesitant and questioning look in Marissa's eyes. The brunette looked at her with a spark of gratitude, to which Emma smiled faintly and nodded.

**Dr Gregory**

I can take you both through then, if you're ready?

Ryan and Marissa nodded, looking at the other three as they began to follow the Doctor slowly.

**Seth**

Give her our love.

Marissa nodded at her brother, squeezing his hand as she walked past him. Then, she looked at Ryan again, taking in a nervous breath as they continued down toward the bottom of the white corridor. Within seconds, they came to a sliding glass door that slid open when they neared it, and they found themselves in what she presumed to be the recovery room. It was eerily quiet, apart from the sounds of machines. The electronic buzz of power, the beeping and the air pumping through the ventilators. The overhead lights seemed to hurt her eyes, even though they were the same lights as they were outside. The clinical hospital smell made her feel sicker. Seeing the other patients made her feel sicker too.

Dr Gregory lead the two of them through the room, nodding to a couple of nurses that passed him by, going about their work of looking after their patients. Then, he walked toward one specific bed at the end. Marissa's stomach lurched at the anticipation, and she tried to prepare herself. But it didn't work. When her eyes met the sight of Alex, lying still on the hospital bed, she turned away for a moment, putting her hand over her mouth as she felt another wave of tears hit her. Ryan squeezed her hand, and she turned around again, getting a hold of herself and walking the last couple of steps it took to get to Alex's bed. She let go of Ryan's hand, walking around the opposite side to where he went. Dr Gregory stood at the end, his head lowered respectfully.

**Marissa**

Can she hear us?

**Dr Gregory**

I believe that she can, yes. But there's no scientific proof.

Marissa never took her eyes away from Alex, trying to hold back more tears at the sight of seeing her like this. There was a bandage around her head, with a splodge of blood peeping through it on her forehead where she had hit her head. Her eyes were taped shut, and her mouth was agape to let the ventilator tube in. She looked so pale she almost didn't look real. A large bruise had started to form at the bottom of her chin too. There were so many tubes and wires, hooked up to machines that bleeped and bumped. One hand was wrapped up from fingers to elbow in a soft white bandage, the other had a cannulae sticking into her vein at the elbow, that connected to an IV drip full of clear fluid. She was covered to her chest with blankets to keep her warm, but enough of her was exposed so that the generic patient gown glared out. There was a lump over her left leg, which Marissa guessed was some kind of guard, to make sure the blankets didn't weigh too heavily on her freshly operated on leg. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, in time with the mechanical sound of the machine.

**Ryan**

I know you're still with me, I can feel you. Like I can always feel you. Don't you go anywhere Alex.

Ryan whispered softly, leaning over his sister as he held her hand gently. He placed a delicate kiss over her eyebrow, but was only met with the response of the hollow sound of the ventilator.

**Marissa**

Alex? I'm not punking out on you, so don't you punk out on me now. I love you. I'm gunna be here for as long as it takes, okay?

Marissa lifted up a shaking hand to stroke down Alex's pale cheek, surprised at how cold she seemed to be. Then, she leaned forward, placing a kiss on the other side of her head to where Ryan had. They took there for a few moments longer, just hoping that somewhere deep inside, that Alex could feel them. That she could hear them, and hold onto them, use their love as an anchor. She had to come back from this. Not waking up wasn't an option.


	19. The Wait

**A/N - **First off, I'd like to say a massive thank you to those that contacted me with concern over my friend. And yes, she's doing very well now. It took her a long time. For her to admit what happened to her, and to open up again and love again. But she did, and she's happy in her relationship with her girlfriend now, who loves her dearly. I'm honoured to be friends with her, she's given me a lot of inspiration.

Secondly, I'm so, so sorry this chapter took so long. I had it. When I posted 18, I had 19 written. But then I read it over, and I hated it! So I deleted it, and started over. Then I deleted that, and started over _again_! And then I got really sick. And by the time I got better, I had a house warming party and birthday party to do over the weekend. But I got there, so here's the next part. Hope it's okay.

**The Wait**

**Alex Kelly residence**

**2 days later**

The warm, soft rays of the sun filtered through the gaps in the curtains, stretching out to flow along the floor and up onto the bed. The warmness of the room added to its sleepy, lazy atmosphere, making the inhabitants content and peaceful.

Marissa loved these kinds of mornings. When she didn't have to rush out of bed. There was no rush hour traffic to fret about, no gulping down half a bowl of cereal or a slice of toast before running out of the door. No company to run. On these mornings, she was free to relax and enjoy the morning. She could linger in a sleepy limbo, letting her mind drift on random and pointless residual dreams. She could stretch out in bed comfortably, basking in how soft everything was. She could just take some time to stop and enjoy simple things.

Simple things like being with the girl she loved. And right now, under the thin white sheet and the sunshine beams, her body began to tingle for contact. She stretched out for a moment, working a couple of kinks out of her limbs before turning around slowly. Her eyes didn't flutter open, but her body knew how to seek out its target. She could always feel Alex's presence beside her. There was just something there, that the blonde emitted, that her own body seemed to be able to pick up on. It was a wonderful feeling, making her feel connected and in tune.

Marissa shifted forward slightly, as her hand smoothed across skin and cotton, her arm snaking around Alex's body. There was a subtle change in her breath, indicating that she was awake and also aware of Marissa's presence. And as Marissa's arm squeezed her gently, Alex slouched back into the embrace. It made Marissa smile, that Alex would react to her touch even as she was only just waking up. They were in a spooning position now, front pressed to back. Marissa breathed in slowly, taking in the scent of Alex in general, and the smell of her hair too. She let her head snuggle further into the crook of Alex's shoulder, as the blonde breathed in, and reached up and behind her slightly, to stroke through silky brown hair.

**Marissa**

I love waking up with you like this.

Marissa whispered softly, her thumb grazing across the bare skin of Alex's shoulder gently. So gently the touch almost wasn't there. Fleeting and loving.

**Alex**

I do too.

Marissa smiled again, always appreciating the crack in her girlfriend's voice in the morning, it was adorable.

**Marissa**

Do you think it was fate? That brought us together?

Alex turned her head first, then slowly turned around in the bed to lie on her side, facing her girlfriend. Marissa didn't pull her hand away, and when Alex settled let her hand rest on her skin again. She looked into brilliant blue orbs, blinking slightly because they were glowing so brightly.

**Alex**

Why would you ask that?

Alex requested softly, reaching her hand up to let her fingertips stroke down Marissa's cheek. They were still cocooned in this sleepy heaven. The bed sheet covering up over both of their heads, making it seem like this white bubble was the only place on earth.

**Marissa**

Because we seem so right together. Do you really think meeting on the running path was a lucky accident, or fate?

**Alex**

I don't believe in fate. Or rather, not the kind of fate you're talking about.

**Marissa**

What kind of fate do you believe in then?

Their voices were still low whispers, neither one wanting to break the atmosphere surrounding them. Their hands found each other, and like they had a will of their own, fingers entwined gently.

**Alex**

I believe fate can lead us to a place, or a situation or anything like that. But we have to choose which path we take. We have to pick our own fork in the road, out of the many possibilities fate has in store for us. So yeah, maybe it was fate that we met. But the rest was up to us. We had to choose to be here, with each other. We had to pick the path to get here.

Marissa smiled.

**Marissa**

I think I like your idea of fate better.

**Alex**

I've thought about it a lot. I used to lay awake at night, wondering how I got to where I am. Wondering how I got so damaged. Why I can't choose the path that leads to happiness with you. Why I can't say the things I need to say.

Marissa pulled their hands up together, and reached them forward to let a finger stroke down the side of Alex's cheek softly.

**Marissa**

You don't need to say anything. I know everything. I understand everything. Do you forgive me, Alex?

Alex frowned slightly, almost as if she were confused.

**Alex**

Forgive you?

**Marissa**

For not fighting hard enough for you? For betraying you?

Alex smiled softly, leaning in to close the small gap between them. Marissa accepted the small, fleeting but intimate kiss from her girlfriend, before opening her eyes to look at her again as she pulled away.

**Alex**

Of course I forgive you. I love you.

**Marissa**

I love you too.

**Alex**

Of course, you can't really take my word for it.

Marissa pulled her head back a little, frowning in surprise and bewilderment. There was no malice in Alex's features, just a plain and event innocent sense of matter of fact there.

**Marissa**

What?

**Alex**

You know you're dreaming, right? You know this isn't really happening? Which means I'm not real. My forgiveness isn't real. I'm not her.

**Marissa**

Don't say that…

**Alex**

Hey, I'm not judging here, okay? Just pointing out the truth. That you've fallen asleep next to her hospital bed. That you've made me up to seek the forgiveness that you desperately need but may never get from her. Because you know, Marissa somewhere deep inside, you know that she might never wake up. Not wake up or…

**Marissa**

Please don't say it. It can't happen again. I can't loose you too.

Alex just smiled lovingly, letting go of Marissa's hand to tangle her fingers in her hair and stroke her thumb on her cheek. Again, she leant in and placed a lingering kiss on the brunette's forehead.

**Alex**

You're not going to lose me. I can stay here forever. We can stay together like this, for as long as you want.

Just as Marissa was about to accept another kiss from the blonde, her head turned slightly as she heard her name float over the room. It baffled her, because she had no idea where it had come from. Was it someone outside of the room? Ryan or Holly or Emma? But then it came again, a little louder and stronger, and she thought she recognised it this time.

**Alex**

I love you, but you have to go now.

The last thing Marissa felt, was Alex stroking her cheek, before everything started to fade.

**Hospital**

**Kirsten**

Marissa, honey wake up.

Kneeling onto the floor, Kirsten put her hand gently on her sleeping daughter shoulder and shook her softly. Marissa was sprawled down into an armchair, fast asleep but in a rather awkward looking position.

**Sandy**

How long has she been here?

Sandy wondered, turning his gaze from his daughter to the nurse that had shown them to Alex's hospital room. It was shocking, seeing her in the state she was in. After they had seen her so active and vibrant not so long ago. Now she looked like the life had been drained out of her. And like she was a mechanical doll, having the air pumped into her by a machine. Wires and tubes sticking out of her. It was a harsh, stark contrast.

**Nurse Owen**

She's left the hospital once since Alex was brought in.

What Nurse Owen didn't say, was that Marissa had practically been dragged out by a certain small but determined raven-haired young woman. Right now, they didn't need to hear that. They were here for Alex, and for their daughter. She had explained a little about Alex's condition, and that the Doctors had decided to take her off the ventilator in the morning, if everything looked good when the chest drain came out.

**Kirsten**

Marissa.

With one final shake, a little firmer this time, Marissa started awake, sitting up immediately and blinking rapidly. Kirsten jumped back a little, being taken off guard by the sudden movement. But she saw the confusion in Marissa's eyes, as she took in the room around her. Then, her hand moved to her cheek, where she touched it gingerly as though someone had just done the same. Then, she slowly looked toward the bed, her expressive eyes filling up with tears as soon as she realised that the reality was that Alex was still lying motionless, having a machine shoved down her throat and breathing for her. She turned away; realising that the voice that broke through her dream had been that of her Mother's. And as soon as she saw her, she couldn't stop the flood of tears. She held on tightly to Kirsten, as the older woman reached forward again, taking her daughter into her arms and letting her cry. This, unfortunately, felt a lot like déjà vu.

**Hospital **

**Next Day**

**Dr Gregory**

Okay. Alex is responding very well so far. The chest drain came out without complication and her breathing is very good.

Dr Gregory stood just inside of the closed door to the small, stuffy relatives room that currently was filled with tension and worry. The willowy Dr stood facing Ryan and his daughter, along with Marissa and one of Alex's friends he had never met before.

**Ryan**

What about the drug?

**Dr Gregory**

As we'd discussed, we started to wean you sister off of the propofol yesterday so it could be stopped today. Now, obviously it won't be an instant reaction. When she wakes up, she'll be very groggy and confused.

**Ryan**

If she wakes up.

Ryan pointed out under a mutter, looking away from the Dr and onto the shiny spot on the floor. He shifted Holly in his arms slightly, feeling her uneasiness at being in the hospital. She didn't really understand what was going on. He had explained as best he could, wanting to tell his daughter the truth but not in a way it would hurt her. He had just explained the best he could that her Aunt had fallen, and now she had to sleep for a little while in the hospital. This was the first time he had agreed to bring her here, having not wanted Holly to see Alex with the ventilator. It scared him, so it would definitely have scared the hell out of her.

**Dr Gregory**

Right.

**Jojo**

Say she does. Best-case scenario, she's ready to wake up when it's out of her system. How long?

Jojo wondered from her position just behind Ryan. She hated hospitals. Her Father had died in one when she was 8. Her Mother had died in one 3 years ago. And now her best friend was lying in one, again. Jojo had hoped never to step foot in a hospital again after Alex had gotten mugged when she was 18. The guy had done a pretty good job on her, and she had had to stay over for a few nights to be observed. But this was worse. She'd been hooked up to a breathing machine, with a tube in her chest. Induced into a coma. They should have been going out tonight. Just the two of them because they hadn't done that for a while. Jojo had been back and forth to New York for the best 2 weeks; Alex had been busy with work. But they were here. Ryan looked pale and dishevelled. Marissa looked exhausted and haunted.

**Dr Gregory**

I would expect at least half a day. More likely a full one. Her body is adjusting to the meds coming and going from her system. All we can do at the minute is treat her other injuries and administer painkillers when she needs them. The rest is up to Alex.

Dr Gregory responded regretfully to the glum trio. There were some cases, some people and patients, that always managed to get through the professional armour. He had treated countless patients over the years, and dealt with their families. He didn't remember most of them. How could he? There were so many of them, and only one of him. But some, he would always remember. This family, he could tell, would linger with him. It was their eyes. He felt bad for them. Obviously, they were a family that had made themselves. Other than the twins, of course. But each one, every time he was introduced to another person that was here for Alex, he saw the amount of damage and sadness in their eyes. He saw a hole in them, made because this girl was lying in a coma. Which made him think that Alex must have been an integral part to their self made family. She was loved, and he was glad of that. He hoped for the best. These were nice kids. She seemed like a nice kid. He'd looked over her old hospital records; she'd been through more than enough already. He hoped that she would be a strong one, he really did.

**Ryan**

Can we see her yet?

**Dr Gregory**

Sure, go on in.

Dr Gregory gave Ryan a supportive smile, before turning and silently leaving the room.

**Ryan**

Do you guys mind if I just have a few minutes alone with her?

Ryan asked softly, turning to face Marissa and Jojo, his face solemn and tired.

**Jojo**

No, of course not.

**Marissa**

We'll watch Holly.

Marissa stepped forward, holding out her arms and taking Holly's weight as she switched her human pillow. On the verge of sleep, she didn't really mind whose arms she was in right now, as long as it was someone she knew. Immediately, she settled into Marissa's arms, smiling briefly as her Dad gave her a kiss on the head before leaving the quiet room.

Alex looked better with the tube out of her throat. There was no horrendous sound of the ventilator invading the room, making her chest rise and fall unnaturally. She still looked abnormally pale though, frightfully so. She still had markings and cuts over her face, her arms, her body. She had an oxygen tube now, in a little wire going to her nose. And she still had an IV drip attached to her. She was still as motionless as ever. There was no glow, no presence about her. Like she wasn't there at all. This was just some wax model of her. You wouldn't have been able to tell, if not for the breathing.

**Ryan**

Hey, it's me. You look better. You know, without the tubes and everything…

Ryan said unsurely, in a low voice as he came to a stand next to his sister's bed. He looked down at her sorrowfully, lovingly. The other half of himself. He didn't even try to stop the tears from welling in his eyes. Didn't care that they slipped slowly down his cheeks. He wasn't afraid to cry.

**Ryan**

Al, you have _got _to wake up. You've got to fight. Everything is empty without you. _I'm _empty without you. I feel like someone reached inside my chest and ripped my heart out. Because you're my heart. Everyone thinks I'm the strong one. Even you. You think I'm the stable one, and you're weak and messed up. And that I'm always saving you. But it's the other way around. The truth is, you've always been the strongest one. You've always been the determined one. You've been put through an amazing amount of shit, but you've always stood tall. You refused to go down Alex. You'd rather die standing than on your knees. I need you to be strong like that now, okay? And fight. You've had enough practice, you can do it!

Through his tears, and his desperate plea, Ryan smiled, stroking softly through Alex's hair. He could imagine what she would say, if she had been awake. Laughed at him for one, for being a sap. But beneath it really appreciating his words. But she would flat out refuse that she was the strong one, she always did. He had tried telling her before, but however much he tried he had never gotten her to fully believe him.

**Hospital**

**3 days later**

**5:23pm**

**Marissa**

'_The shot lasts an uncomfortable fifteen seconds, until abruptly that immutable surface disappears. In less than a blink, the white wall along with the drawings secured with yellowing scotch tape vanishes into an inky black. Since Karen faces the opposite direction, she fails to notice the change. Instead her attention remains fixed on the Hi 8 which has just finished rewinding in the tape. But even as she pushes play, the yawn of dark does not waver. In fact it almost seems to be waiting for her, for the moment when she will finally divert her attention from the tiny screen and catch sight of the horror looming up behind her, which of course is exactly what she does when she finds out that the video tape shows…'_

Marissa looked up from the thick, heavy book she was resting on her lap, hopeful eyes turning sad again as she spotted no reaction from Alex. Plus, she had gotten to the end of that part of the story, as it left the reader lingering and wondering. And slightly freaked out, to be frankly honest.

**Nurse Owen**

What's the book?

Marissa jumped slightly, the floating silence that was covering the room broken by the now familiar nurse that entered the room. Marissa relaxed as she saw her there, her presence was comforting. Nurse Owen always seemed to be here, like a guardian angel watching over Alex. She was a nice lady, in her mid fifties with a thick Southern accent and deep, dark skin. She had a kind smile, and kinder still eyes. She really cared about the people she looked after, she cared about what she was doing, it vibrated through her clearly. And she had seemed to have taken a shine to Alex, so that comforted Marissa too.

**Marissa**

It's called _House Of Leaves_; it's by Mark Z Danielewski. She loves it. She was reading it before…before the fall.

Marissa's eyes flickered from the nurse, to Alex, to the book and then back up at the nurse again. She was stood at the other side of Alex's bed now, amongst the monitors where she took some observations and wrote them down.

**Nurse Owen**

She likes to read, huh?

**Marissa**

Yeah. When she gets chance she loves it. She erm…she likes me reading to her too.

The brunette whispered the last part, as her bottomless blue eyes found Alex's pale face again. A soft sigh slipped through her, though unnoticed by herself. Nurse Owen watched Marissa kindly. She was a nice girl it seemed. Intelligent, beautiful, loyal. Heart broken though. Haunted and weighed down. For the obvious reasons, such as her girlfriend being in a coma. But there was something more than that, something older and well rooted inside of her electric eyes.

**Nurse Owen**

What else?

**Marissa**

What?

**Nurse Owen**

Tell me about Alex.

Marissa's soft, confused frown retreated from her tired face, as she sighed softly.

**Marissa**

She can sing. Actually, she's an amazing singer. But she doesn't let people hear her very often, no one really knows why. On our first date, she took me to see my favourite film, even though she knew it made her cry. She loves her brother, and her niece, so much. They are so, so close. Ryan means everything to Alex; I just don't think she knows how much he idolises her. And she's so good with kids. But she's terrified of having her own. She's a loyal friend, hard working, talented. And she's the love of my life.

Marissa told the older woman, her intense eyes focusing on her subject as Nurse Owen watched her intently. Despite that Alex had only been here for three days, she could see some of that initial hope slipping from the young brunettes eyes. She was still steadfast in her conviction that Alex was simply too strong and stubborn to stay in a coma and not fight her way back. But there was just something inside of Marissa that subtly whispered that her actual hope was declining, and it had something to do with that old pain rooted in her eyes.

**Nurse Owen**

Then you hold onto all that honey. You hold onto her qualities, her flaws, her strengths and weaknesses. All the things that make Alex who she is. Hold onto those and you'll get through this.

Marissa looked up at the nurse, almost like a child looked at their Mother when they needed guidance. And she supposed she did, need guidance. The sincerity in Nurse Owen's voice was comforting and reassuring, and for a moment Marissa felt somewhat better. She didn't feel at such an odds end, felt like there was indeed, something to hold onto. But that moment was short lived, because she had been through this scenario before. The glimpses of memories flashed in and out of her head. The noise of the car horn. The screams coming from both herself, and Theresa. How they had rolled and slide across the road for what felt like an eternity. That sound, that scraping and twisting metal sound, would haunt her until she died. And of course, holding the girl she loved in her arms as she lost the battle to live. See, she had already done this. The difference was, Alex had made it to the hospital. Her body was living, but they didn't know about her mind. Theresa had let go, but Alex just wasn't waking up. Marissa, for the briefest of moments again, wondered which one was better. Totally loosing someone, or having them right in front of you but never there.

**Carnival **

**3 days later**

Marissa smiled at the commotion around her. The floating, happy voices coming from all directions, the yells of the carnival workers enticing people to rides or games. She loved carnivals. And she was particularly loving this one, because of two things. Selfishly, the first one was because Alex was with her. They had never been to anything like this since they had been dating, and before they had set off, the blonde had confessed that she had never been to a proper carnival before. So the experience was new and exciting. The second reason, was because this was a charity event. Millie was organising a fundraiser, trying to get some new equipment for the hospital and to spring for a new children's ward. Both she and Alex had donated significantly to the cause.

**Marissa**

Are you having a good time?

The brunette wondered, happily meandering along, holding pink candyfloss in one hand and Alex's hand in the other. After biting off another mouthful of sweet sugary goodness, she turned her head to look at her girlfriend.

**Alex**

I'm having a great time. I get why you love these things now.

Alex mused, smiling back lovingly. The look of fun and wonder hadn't left her face since they had arrived. She didn't know what to expect really, having only been to a couple of crappy, half assed fairs before. But this was something else. It was a real carnival, and it was great.

**Marissa**

I'm glad.

Marissa still smiled, leaning in quickly to place a soft, gentle kiss on Alex's lips before pulling away again. Alex squeezed her hand, and as Marissa was about to say something else she got distracted as she realised what they were walking up to. Dropping her jaw in excitement, and pointing with both her and Alex's hands in front of them, the brunette practically bounced on the spot.

**Marissa**

Can we go on the Ferris Wheel? _Please_?

**Alex**

Oh my god, it cannot be _that_ exciting, can it?

Alex wondered, looking at Marissa speculatively as she still bounced on the balls of her feet. All it did was go in a big circle right? It wasn't the fastest or most thrilling ride of all time, so how come Marissa was going crazy about it? Still, she thought it was cute at the same time.

**Marissa**

_What_? You've never been on the Ferris Wheel?

**Alex**

No.

**Marissa**

_Ever_?

She squeaked, clearly taken aghast and in shock. The look made Alex laugh as she shook her head again, pulling Marissa into her before kissing her sweetly.

**Alex**

No.

She whispered softly, licking her lips as she savoured the taste of the candyfloss from her girlfriend's mouth. Before she knew it though, she was being unceremoniously dragged off toward the huge ride with Marissa mumbling something about never having lived until you had ridden on it. She was somewhat afraid, but most of her was just amused.

In 5 or so minutes, Alex found herself clambering into the seat, holding her hand out for Marissa to steady her as she did the same. The blonde glared at the attendant for a moment, as she closed the gate whilst giving them a lecherous look. But then the ride moved slowly, and he vanished from sight.

**Marissa**

I know they aren't the most exciting things ever, but they're my favourite. They're intimate and romantic, and you can see all around you.

Alex blinked back into reality as Marissa started talking, explaining her fascination as she slipped her arm through hers and snuggled up, resting her head on her shoulder. Alex drew in a short breath, as she relaxed and let her own head rest upon Marissa's, her hand tucking into her thigh.

**Alex**

I love your girly obsessions. Just like I love you.

Alex smiled and moved her head as Marissa looked up again. There was this moment of perfect clarity as their eyes met. Like they shared some secret and they weren't going to share it with the rest of the world. And for those few moments, time seemed to stop. They were in a perfect little bubble, away from everything they knew, just the two of them.

**Marissa**

I love you more.

Alex shook her head, her free hand reaching across to stroke across the brunette's soft cheek.

**Alex**

Not possible.

She replied in a whispered promise, before leaning in and taking Marissa's mouth deeply, but still with a gentleness that suited the moment. The kiss was languid and exploratory, like they were sharing their first. The wonder and awe still passed between them in their kisses, these kind of kisses. As though every time their mouths met, it was a new event altogether. Nothing like it had taken place before, not between them, and not between anybody. It was an amazing feeling. The only reason they stopped, was the rude jolt that shifted them forward a little as the ride stopped, and they realised they were at the top. Marissa just smiled, stroking through soft blonde hair gently.

**Marissa**

Look around.

Alex let her gaze remain where it was for a second, before doing as she had been instructed and looking around. All around them, lights sparkled in the darkness. Stretching as far as the eye could see. Everything shimmied and twinkled, like some kind of fairytale land.

**Alex**

It's beautiful.

**Marissa**

You're beautiful.

Marissa corrected, earning the attention of her girlfriend again. Alex didn't say anything; she just looked at her in a way that was both amazed and sad. Like she loved that Marissa could look at her like that, but she didn't really believe it was true. That look was so familiar to the brunette, and not just because it had been occurring more and more in her girlfriend's eyes lately. Slowly, it started to come to her. Alex just silently watched her, knowingly, as she drew her head back in realisation.

**Marissa**

We're not…we're not really here, are we?

The blonde in front of her just shook her head.

**Alex**

No.

**Marissa**

But this happened. We came here. We did this.

**Alex**

And what happened?

**Marissa**

We kept kissing until we had to get off, and I was embarrassed because everyone was watching, you got mad at the attendant. We walked around holding hands, talking, laughing. And there were people from the hospital, and the newspaper that we talked to. We had our picture taken. Then you won a teddy bear that I wanted on those stupid shooting games. We went home and we made love, and you made me breakfast in bed in the morning. It was…it was a perfect night.

As Marissa looked down at the fake, carriage floor, she couldn't stop the pang of tears from the realisation that yet again, she was dreaming. That the girl sitting next to her, she wasn't really there. The actual memories of their night came back to her, and her stomach twisted in the emptiness it felt. Like realising this was all a dream, it took something away from her. Then she looked up, as she felt Alex's thumb wipe away the tears that managed to escape her eyes. Her hand was warm, her touch was loving. Her kiss had been perfect, and it still lingered on her lips. But how was that possible?

**Alex**

Please don't cry.

**Marissa**

Why are you here?

**Alex**

I'm here for you. You want me here.

**Marissa**

But it hurts. Every time I realise you're not real, I feel like my soul is dying.

**Alex**

You're trying to hold on. To her. To you both together. She's not with you, so I'm here instead.

**Marissa**

Oh my god…I'm going insane. I am actually, finally, loosing my mind.

Marissa moaned as she retreated from Alex and leant forward, cupping her head in her hands.

**Marissa**

What if…what if you don't wake up? Will this be my life?

**Alex**

I don't know. That would be up to you, I guess.

**Marissa**

What if you do, and you don't forgive me for what I did?

**Alex**

Again, I don't know.

Marissa looked up, scowling through her red face and puffy eyes.

**Marissa**

Why didn't you just tell me Alex? Why couldn't you just trust that I wouldn't run away from you?

She shouted angrily, not blaming Alex for the demise of their relationship exactly, but feeling a little betrayed that Alex felt like she had to break up with her rather than tell her the truth. Ryan and confessed everything. Because he couldn't lie to her over what happened, he had to give her a reason behind what Alex had done. The pain, the drugs. He wanted her to understand, if his sister never got the opportunity to tell her herself. Sniffling, she moved back up and almost fell into an embrace with the girl she knew wasn't Alex, but needed nonetheless. It was strange, feeling her warmth and her arms around her, but knowing she wasn't there at all.

**Alex**

You have to go back now.

Marissa kept her eyes clamped shut, holding on tighter to Alex as she shook her head.

**Marissa**

No, I don't. I don't want to let go.

**Alex**

She needs you. Wake up.

**Hospital**

Marissa gasped as she leapt up, the book she had been reading to Alex dropping loudly onto the floor making her jump again. Immediately the wave of dizziness slammed into her body, her mind completely disorientated from the lingerings of such an intense and realistic dream, combined with the hideous bleeping of the monitors in the room. Lurching forward and up out of her chair, Marissa made a bee line to the joining toilet, reaching it just in time to land on her knees and empty the little remains inside of her stomach. That emptiness that she had felt in her dream, that whole, it was still there.

**Summer**

Hey, it's okay. I'm here.

Summer's voice was an echo in Marissa's ears, like she was stood at the end of a tunnel, far away from her. Still, she felt her best friends hand on her shoulder as she appeared in the bathroom, and immediately it grounded her. It gave her something real and concrete to hold onto.

**Summer**

'Key, you're coming home with me Coop.

**Marissa**

No, I'm okay.

**Summer**

No, you're not. You're exhausted. You don't get a choice here. If I have to drag your ass home, I will. You need to get some rest, real rest. It's just going to be tonight, okay? I will bring you back in the morning.

**Marissa**

I said no.

Summer sighed, kneeling down so she could see Marissa properly. Taking her friend's head in her hands, she made the taller girl look at her so that she could see how worried she was.

**Summer**

Please Marissa.

Summer's voice was so soft and pleading, her beautiful dark eyes desperate. The fact that she had used her real name made Marissa stop the frantic thoughts running through her head and really pay attention. She took note of the overwhelming concern in Summer's eyes, and she was reminded once again of Theresa. It was how she had looked at her back then.

**Marissa**

First thing?

Summer nodded, lifting her hand up to push back a strand of Marissa's brown hair as it fell before her face. She looked so pale and withdrawn, haunted by everything that had happened. She had been through so much already. Alex had been through so much already. It wasn't fair. Some people got to float through life, never experiencing any real pain. Summer considered herself and Seth to be lucky, compared to their friends. They had been through things, of course. Bad things. But not to the same degree. Summer wished sometimes that she could take it away from Marissa, even if she had to take it onto herself. And now she knew the truth about Alex, she wished for the same thing.

**Summer**

First thing, I promise.

**Marissa**

'Kay.

The brunette relented, then standing up as Summer did. Her friend looked relieved, and gave her a gentle hug, immediately Marissa felt a little warmer. Still empty, but a little warmer knowing that Summer was there for her. As always. When Summer pulled away, Marissa sighed and ran a hand through her hair, before walking back into the main room and toward Alex. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on her pale, bruised forehead.

**Marissa**

Don't forget that I love you.

After that, Marissa took Summer's hand and let her lead her away from the hospital. Part of her still felt like she should have stayed there. That if she didn't, she was betraying Alex in some way. That she was letting go. But the other part of her knew that she did need to rest properly before she burnt out completely. Then what good would she be to the blonde? She had stopped her entire life. She didn't leave the hospital, she didn't talk to her friends, she barely spoke to her parents even though they had been over. She hardly ate or slept, and when she did sleep she was tricked by her own mind. Was it because she loved Alex so much, or that she felt so very guilty for what happened?

**Hospital**

**Next day**

Ryan picked up his coffee that he had got from the machine down the corridor, and screwed his nose up as he took a gulp of it. He swallowed the gulp of what seemed like stale liquid reluctantly, then put it aside haughtily. There had been a time when he would have been able to stomach bad coffee, if it wasn't for Alex and her high standards. The blonde had always seemed to take bad coffee as a personal offence. Ryan could imagine the rant she would have about the coffee he had just had, and it made him chuckle.

**Emma**

What's funny?

**Ryan**

Can you imagine how much Alex would kick off if she had tasted this stuff?

He mused, gesturing to the cup and then back up at his girlfriend, a wry smirk covering his face. She was relieved, because over the past few days, he hadn't smiled at all. Only forced smiles, so that Holly didn't worry too much. It was understandable of course. But she was still glad about it.

**Emma**

Yeah, she wouldn't really appreciate it would she?

**Ryan**

No!

**Emma**

You know what, I think I'll run across the street and grab some real coffee. I can't take this stuff either.

**Ryan**

You don't have to.

Emma smiled and nodded as she stood up out of her chair.

**Emma**

I know. But it'd be nice to get some air too.

**Holly**

Can I come?

Holly requested, looking up from her spot on the floor where she was currently drawing a picture. Her crayons were scattered across the table haphazardly, and her drawing book was almost finished. Emma looked down at the blonde little girl and nodded.

**Emma**

Sure baby girl. We'll be back soon, okay?

Ryan nodded, watching Emma pick up Holly as she stood up and held out her hands. He sat up for a moment, as Emma leaned over to give him a short kiss before she carried Holly out of the room. He smiled still, watching and listening to them chatter as they went down the hall.

**Nurse Owen**

You have a nice family.

The fair-haired carpenter looked at Nurse Owen as she rounded the corner, carrying some things in a box.

**Ryan**

Thank you. I'm kinda lucky like that.

The black woman nodded in agreement, putting the box down on a trey near Alex's bed. Ryan took in a long breath, then stood up as he watched her open it to reveal some fresh, rolled up bandages.

**Ryan**

Am I allowed to help you with those?

Nurse Owen looked across the bed at him, with her trademark kind smile and sparkling eyes.

**Nurse Owen**

Sure you can Sugar.

She thought to herself briefly, if Ryan didn't have a girlfriend, and his sister wasn't her patient, he would be perfect for her own daughter. Her daughter that constantly complained that there was a distinct lack of good guys in L.A. But here Ryan stood, proving her wrong. As she was about to tell him what to do, a very small, but noticeable movement made her look at Alex.

**Ryan**

Did you see that too?

Ryan asked immediately, catching the movement too but not sure if he had seen it or not. He focused on his sister for another moment, before flicking his eyes up onto the nurse, seeing her nod slowly as she watched the blonde carefully with an observant frown.

**Ryan**

Is she waking up?

**Nurse Owen**

Don't get your hopes up yet; it may have been a muscle spasm.

She warned, not wanting Ryan to get his hopes up for nothing. Secretly though, she hoped that the girl before her was indeed waking up. It was hard not to root for people, some more than others. And she was definitely rooting for this one. She turned to the monitor, looking for any kind of change throughout Alex's body. There wasn't any, but as she turned back, the smallest of sighs escaped the blonde's lips as her fingers moved.

**Nurse Owen**

Alex? Can you hear me?

Nurse Owen asked loudly, leaning forward and pressing the button to call another nurse that was on the wall as Alex turned her head a little toward her. Her eyes were still closed, but she was clearly responding to the sound of her voice. Her mouth opened a little, but closed again so she could try and clear her throat.

**Ryan**

Oh my god. Alex? Alex, can you hear us?

Ryan asked excitedly, feeling his heart thump against his chest heavily. He took her hand into his, squeezing it lightly as her head moved to follow his voice. He smiled, his breathing picking up, as she frowned faintly.

**Alex**

Ryan?

It was so faint and cracked, that it was barely there at all. Ryan had had to strain to hear his name, but he heard it. And as soon as he did, he felt like his breath had been snatched away from him. Letting out a cross between a laugh, sigh and a sob, he doubled over quickly, his head becoming a little light. She was awake. His sister was awake. And almost instantly, a rush of feelings poured over him. Her feelings. That invisible, indefinable connection they shared, that symbiotic link that they had, it hit him full force, making him dizzy. His eyes stung a little as tears welled up there, but he didn't care. He laughed lightly through the sudden wheeze he had developed in his chest; the only thing that mattered right now was that Alex was responding to him.

**Ryan**

Yeah. Yeah, it's Ryan.

He agreed, looking back up as another nurse scurried into the room, here to respond to the nurses aid call.

**Nurse Owen**

Page Dr Gregory, Alex Kelly is waking up.

The other nurse nodded dutifully, and hurried back out into the hall and toward the nurse's station. She turned to see Ryan grinning, as he leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on Alex's forehead, as his free hand ran through her hair. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she seemed to know where to look to find her brother. The soft frown got a little deeper, as though she were confused.

**Alex**

Why are…

Alex cleared her throat weakly again, finding it surprisingly difficult to talk.

**Alex**

What're you doing…in my room?

She wondered innocently, her cracked voice still barely audible. Ryan just laughed, dipping his head again and this time resting it between his sister's head and her shoulder. It took her a moment, but she managed to coordinate herself enough to lift up her hand, which was still being held by Ryan's, and touch the back of his head. Then, ever so slowly, she began to focus on opening her eyes. Things whizzed around her head faster than she could hope to catch them. There was a blanket of numbness, but slowly things were already starting to come to her. Mainly the fact that she felt absolutely wiped out. Like she had drank far too much, and she had the Mother of all hangovers. But it was more than that, she could feel it. There were overhead lights that stung her eyes, making her wince and close them again. Her chest began to throb incessantly, making her aware of a pain she had never quite felt before. Beyond confused, she wanted to know what was going on. So she started to open her eyes again, this time prepared for the bombardment of light.

**Nurse Owen**

Well now, don't you just have the prettiest eyes I ever did see?

Nurse Owen mused, watching Alex's efforts to open her eyes. She managed eventually, too curious and stubborn to give in. The girl blinked sleepily a couple of times, but the nurse still got a good look at her ice grey eyes. And they were as striking as she had been lead to believe, even in her current sluggish state. Alex looked at her slowly, obviously having no idea what was going on. The older woman caught the flash of realisation Alex had of being in a hospital room, before her eyes turned to her brother, who was still hiding in her shoulder, just wanting to be close to her, half crying and half laughing.

**Roberts/Cohen residence**

Marissa sat, cuddled up on the couch, both hands cupping a cup of coffee. Aimlessly, she stared into space, not really thinking about anything. Her dreams had been full of the three women she had had the most substantial relationships with in her life. First Theresa. There had been other girls before her, little flings and experiments that had occurred as Marissa had started to become aware of her sexuality. A couple of girls at school, a couple of girls she knew from else ware, including an older sister of one of Kaitlin's friends. But Theresa had been her first, real, official girlfriend. The first girl she had ever fallen in love with. And that relationship had taught her a lot. She remembered how they used to be together, and how Theresa had tried to be there for her. She remembered the touches, and the kisses, and the connection. Then she remembered that they only had that half of the time. But even though the bad times, she had always loved the other girl, however much it had hurt. She remembered how it had hurt seeing Theresa with other girls when they were split up. She remembered feeling bad because the girl she had tried to date really liked her, but she was doing it to prove to Theresa that she was over her. But in the last stretch, things seemed perfect. It felt that suddenly something had clicked, and they had realised they were being stupid. Acting like kids. And then it had all ended. Marissa had tried her hardest to stop Theresa from closing her eyes, when she had been lying limply in her arms, out there on the road. She had begged her to stay awake, to fight for her. But she had watched her slip away, battered and bleeding. She had held her, for a long time, until help had finally arrived. By then she had gone into shock, and nothing had been the same for a long time.

That's when she had done her partying. She had tore through college, drinking and sleeping around. Lapping up the experience of being wild and free. After a summer of torture before starting college, she had wanted to let loose. And she really had. Girl after girl, party after party, drink after drink. There had been some girls she really liked. But she had been shut off to the prospect of actually feeling again. So she excelled at her classes, excelled at partying and drinking, and excelled at pleasing girls. Then college had been over, and she had the company to concentrate on. And that's when she had met Jesse.

Jesse, who had showered her with affection. Who had slowly, and carefully began to manipulate without her even knowing it. She had let her guard down, long enough for Jesse to slip through the gap and destroy her from the inside out. The first girl that Marissa had tried to give her heart to after Theresa, and took it and tore it apart. And that's when she had started having one-night stands again. She had been gutted, and resigned herself to never trust another girl again. But then, one day, a girl had knocked her over on the running path.

**Seth**

Hey.

Marissa blinked, slowly looking up at her brother as he made his way into the silent room.

**Marissa**

Hey.

She responded, as Seth sat down next to her. Instantly, she shifted her position, and instead of leaning on the armrest she turned her body the other way, so she could rest on Seth. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, as she rested her head on his shoulder and made herself comfortable, before letting out a slow sigh.

**Marissa**

Seth?

**Seth**

Yeah?

**Marissa**

How is it that my life gets so fucked up? Is it me? Is it something that I do?

Seth sighed, squeezing Marissa's shoulders a little as he thought about her questions. It did seem shockingly unfair that Marissa seemed to catch an unfair amount of crap. He had been through some things, here and there. But nothing really, that he could complain about. Generic, run of the mill teenage angst. But what else? His parents loved him, supported him and weren't afraid to show it. He had gone to a good college, married the girl he was in love with, had a beautiful daughter and was doing what he wanted to do for a living. It had hurt him too, when Theresa had died. She had become like a sister to him, the same as Marissa had. Loosing her was beyond awful. But he hadn't suffered like Marissa had suffered.

**Seth**

It's not you. I just think, some people, they just go through more things than others. What counts, is that you still stand up through it all. You're brave enough to go on.

Marissa sniggered.

**Marissa**

I'm not brave.

**Seth**

After Theresa died, you said you'd never open up enough to love anyone again. But you did with Jesse. And after she hurt you, you said the same thing. But then you met Alex. That's brave in my eyes.

**Marissa**

Yeah, and look what happened. Jesse gutted me, and things with Alex are…possibly unfixable. And I did that. She was ready to tell me everything. She was ready to face her fears for me, and what did I do? I went and slept with someone else. I don't think either of us can forgive me for that.

Seth remained quiet, stroking through her hair gently. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to object, and tell her everything would be fine. But she was possibly right. They both knew it, and there was no point trying to lie to her about it. So the only thing he could do was be there for her instead.

**Summer**

_What? _Oh my god, we'll be right there.

Seth and Marissa heard Summer, before they saw her walk into the sitting room, house phone still pressed up to her ear. As she switched it off, letting her hand drop, she looked at her husband and best friend with an excited, strange twinkle running through her eyes.

**Seth**

What's going on?

**Summer**

That was Emma; she's at the hospital with Ryan. Alex is awake. She's awake, and she's okay.

Marissa and Seth sat up, and Seth looked at his sister as Summer did the same, watching her as she blinked in shock. Leaning forward, she put her hand on her head and breathed in deeply. Alex was awake. Alex was fine. The weight that lifted off her shoulders was immense, and it made her feel lightheaded. But so did the rest of the feelings moving around her. Especially the fear.

**Summer**

What're you waiting for Coop? Let's get over there.

**Marissa**

I can't.

Marissa whispered softly, still looking down at the floor. She gulped slightly, wanting desperately to go and see Alex for herself. So it was real, so she knew that she was absolutely without a doubt fine. But another part of her was far too scared to go. After the weird things she had experience this week, she didn't know whether she should go or not. If Alex would want to see her or not.

**Seth**

What?

**Marissa**

I can't go.

**Seth**

Why?

**Marissa**

She hates me Seth. She told me. She won't want me there.

**Summer**

Yes, she does. Okay? I was there. I was there the day she fell. I saw her. I saw how much she needed you. I saw how much she wanted you. Marissa, she was terrified. More terrified than you are now. Don't walk away from her now, when she needs you the most. Step up.

Marissa just looked at Summer, her feelings still trying to pull her apart. Right in this very second she had no idea what to do. She just didn't know what was for the best. But she had to make a decision. She had to choose. Did she go to the hospital, or did she let Alex down because she was too scared?


	20. The End

_Once again, I am SO sorry for the lateness of this chapter. You would not believe the workload I've had at university. Not to mention being up and down the country and being ill. So, again, very, very sorry. With no further ado, here's chapter 20. _

_A/N will be at the end._

**Chapter Twenty – The End**

Marissa kept repeating the words that Summer had spoken to her almost thirty minutes earlier, gripping onto them to find the courage to do what she was about to do. She desperately wanted to see Alex. Of course she did. There was absolutely no question of that. But she was just so scared. By walking into that room, she would have to face the situation and the consequences. At least if she didn't, she could pretend that it was rectifiable and Alex was thinking kindly on her. But then, maybe Summer was right. Maybe all Alex needed her to do was to step up. She thought about what Alex had said, that morning when she had found Katie in her house. How she was supposed to fight for her. She was supposed to believe in her. And then Marissa thought about the promise she made at her bedside. She had told her faithfully that she wouldn't punk out. And that's what she had almost done. All week she had spent at the hospital, watching over the woman she loved. She couldn't run away from her now, just because she was awake. She had to fight.

**Millie**

Marissa?

Marissa halted in her walk down the corridor leading to Alex's room, knowing immediately the familiar voice of her friend. Turning around, she smiled at Millie, who was dodging a flock of interns further down the corridor. Turning back again, she gestured to Summer and Seth that they should continue on.

**Marissa**

I'll be there in a minute.

Both Summer and Seth nodded, and smiled at Millie before turning around and continuing toward their friends' hospital room.

**Millie**

Hey, you okay? I heard Alex is awake.

Marissa accepted the warm hug from the Dr, and quirked a quizzical eyebrow toward her as they pulled apart. Millie just smirked, clearing her throat and giving her a little shrug.

**Millie**

Okay so maybe not heard rather than I've been checking up on her every night!

She confessed, even though she had told Marissa she would try and keep up to date with Alex's progress when she had stopped by earlier in the week. And she had, a lot. There were even a couple of times when she had stopped by at some twilight hour of the night and Marissa had been right there, asleep and oblivious to her presence.

**Marissa**

I'm okay. I think. I don't really know what's going to happen yet, but in the very least I need to see her awake and she needs to know I'm fighting for her.

Millie nodded, reaching out and rubbing the brunette's upper arm affectionately and supportively.

**Millie**

It'll be okay. Look, I know that I didn't have chance to get to know Alex well before this happened. With being so busy coming back to the hospital, and being on perpetual nights and all. But that night at your party, at the carnival, I saw that connection you shared. I saw what you had straight away. That kind of thing, it doesn't break so easily. It doesn't go away. Especially when something like this happens.

**Marissa**

I hope you're right.

**Alex's room – same time**

Summer smirked slightly as she approached the open doorway to Alex's room. She felt a wave of relief rush through her, seeing the blonde sat up slightly in her hospital bed. She had a big grin on her face, and was currently letting her head drop back onto the pillow, turned slightly so she could see the young nurse that was stood by her bedside doing whatever nurses did. Emma, Ryan and Holly were at the other side of the bed, watching with amusement.

**Alex**

You are _so _pretty.

Alex's speech was light and floaty, squeaky even, made that way by the morphine that she had been given for her pain. It was easy to tell that it made her a little high, her eyes were a little glassy and her movements were slurred. Still, it didn't stop her from being her charming self, which highly amused everyone in the room. Including the nurse she was trying to hit on.

**Alex**

I'm Alex.

The blonde added as an after thought, not really thinking about the fact that the nurse would already know who she was anyway.

**Jenna**

Thank you. And I'm Jenna. Nice to see you awake Alex.

**Alex**

Thanks! I like being awake.

Alex nodded lightly, then stopped as the movement made her head go a little funny.

**Alex**

Did I mention how pretty you are?

**Jenna**

Yes, you did!

**Alex**

Are you gay? _Please _tell me you are!

**Ryan**

Alex!

The nurse laughed lightly, shaking her head as she wrote on Alex's chart, not seemingly offended by the question. Ryan however, squeaked in alarm as he crossed his arms over his chest. Alex looked at him innocently, wondering what exactly it was she was being glared at for. Only his sister could hit on a nurse after all of this.

**Alex**

What? What did I do?

**Ryan**

You're kinda being offensive.

Alex snickered, turning back to the nurse with a questioning expression.

**Alex**

Am I being offensive? Are you offended?

**Jenna**

No, I'm actually amused.

**Alex**

See! Amused. So, _are_ you gay?

**Jenna**

No, I'm not gay.

**Alex**

Bi-curious maybe? I'd settle for that?

**Jenna**

Nope, straight as a ruler.

**Alex**

Heterosexuality is a sin, you know?

As soon as she had said it, Alex looked around at everyone in the room, suddenly realising that she was the only gay one here. She chuckled nervously before gulping and taking in a deep breath.

**Alex**

And I just said that in a room full of herto's. Can I go back into my coma now?

She turned back to the nurse, eyebrows quirked with a pleading and hopeful expression. It only made the other woman laugh and shake her head.

**Jenna**

I think they might forgive you.

Alex nodded, and turned back to look at them. Then, a huge smile moved onto her face as she realised that Summer and Seth were stood by the doorway, seemingly amused at what they had walked in on. She lifted her good hand and waved at them sweetly.

**Alex**

Hey guys!

Both Ryan and Emma turned around, having not noticed the other couple slipped in the room. They smiled in greeting, as Summer and Seth moved over toward Alex. Seth patted Ryan on the shoulder as he passed, a small sign of his support and relief. His happiness really, that his friend had his sister back, and she was going to be fine.

**Summer**

Welcome back Miss Purple.

Alex giggled as she accepted the small, tender hug from Summer.

**Alex**

That's cos I have purple in my hair!

She told no one in particular, but made everyone chuckle again. She smiled at Seth, as she leaned in to give her a hug too. Beneath the haze of the painkiller, she did notice that Marissa wasn't with them. She didn't feel anything much about that fact, it was just an observation. The drug stopped it from really sinking in. But she was somehow sure that if she wasn't high right now, she would have felt a whole lot about it.

**Alex**

Are you _sure _you're straight?

She suddenly demanded, looking up at the nurse again, batting her eyelids and smiling sweetly. The nurse just smirked, clicking her pen and putting it back into her tunic pocket.

**Jenna**

I'm sure.

**Alex**

Damnit! I guess you have some tall, dark brooding hunk of a man at home?

**Jenna**

I do, actually!

**Alex**

He better treat you good then.

Alex yawned deeply, blinking a little to try and force the sleepiness out of her head. But the truth was she was exhausted. This being in hospital deal was taking a lot out of her.

**Jenna**

He does. But, if I ever wonder, I'll let you know.

**Alex**

Promise?

**Jenna**

I promise.

The nurse just smiled as Alex lost the fight to stay awake, and dropped off suddenly.

**Ryan**

I'm sorry.

**Jenna**

Please. She's stoned from the morphine and she's _still _more polite than the guys that come through here and try to hit on me. Actually, that pretty much goes for the staff too.

She flicked a hang, snorting indignantly and making them smile. She put the chart back by the bottom of the bed before leaving the room to tend to her other patients.

**Summer**

So what have the Doctors said?

**Ryan**

That she'll be fine. She's gunna need some physiotherapy, and she'll hafta take things slowly. But she's gunna be fine.

**Seth**

That's good to hear.

Ryan nodded, eyes still looking at his sister as he thought about what had happened and what would happen. He knew she would hate having to take things slowly; she would want to push herself. She couldn't run or surf straight away, and that was going to piss her off. But he couldn't think about that now. All his mind would let him focus on was the fact that she was awake. She had fought her way back, and that's the only thing that mattered.

**Emma**

It really is. So, where's Marissa?

**Marissa**

I'm right here.

Everyone turned to see Marissa come to a stop in the doorway, nervously looking between all of them before looking over at Alex. She was so peaceful when she slept, she always had been. Like every single worry, painful memory and haunting ghosts had left her alone. Unless the nightmares came, that was. She was confused though, because she was expecting her ex girlfriend to be awake. She had just bolstered her courage to walk in here, ready to face Alex.

**Holly**

'Rissa!

Before Marissa had a chance to ask about anything, she was hit full force by an extremely happy little blonde. Holly clung onto her tightly, wrapping her arms around her. Marissa smiled, leaning down and picking Holly up with a small huff. The girl grinned happily, before leaning in and wrapping her arms around Marissa's neck to hug her.

**Holly**

I missed you!

**Marissa**

I missed you too rug rat.

Marissa smiled, a little encouraged now, and accepted the half hug from Emma which was the best she could manage with Holly in the way. She then looked at Ryan hesitantly, questioningly.

**Ryan**

They ran some tests, and things are good. They put her on morphine for the pain, so she's been a little hazy. She just fell asleep; it's knocked her sideways a little bit.

**Marissa**

But she's okay? She's going to be okay?

**Ryan**

She's going to be fine.

Marissa nodded, looking down numbly. For a moment, everything stopped. That single notion running through her mind. Alex was going to be fine. Then, after it had settled in, her breath hitched as she felt everything slam into her. Almost like what she had been feeling this entire week had been numbed, and now it was all hitting her full force. She wobbled a little, and moved to sit down, still keeping a firm hold on Holly. Lifting her hand up, she rubbed her forehead, before covering her eyes as she felt everything built inside of her, causing her eyes to tear up. As she began to cry, her body was flushed with weakness as her mind went light headed. All she really wanted was for Alex to be okay. Whatever happened, that was what mattered.

**Summer**

Coop?

**Marissa**

I'm fine.

**Seth**

You wanna go back home, get some more rest?

Marissa sniffled, wiping her eyes quickly as she shook her head.

**Marissa**

No. No I'm not going anywhere. Not until she wakes up and we can talk.

**1 am**

Marissa, like she had stated, hadn't gone anywhere. Her hope was that Alex would wake up after a couple of hours, but the blonde was truly out for the count. If she hadn't have known any better, Marissa would have believed she was still in her coma. But, she knew her body had been through a lot, and morphine had strange affects on people. She didn't begrudge Alex her rest. So she waited. She chatted with everyone, before Summer and Seth had made their move with promises of coming by tomorrow. Lisa had dropped by to check on her friend and boss on her way to work, which Alex's assistants were working hard to keep running to her standard. Jojo, Shelly, Lucy and Sky had visited too. Marissa had talked to them all, and had received encouragement from them all too.

Eventually, Ryan and Emma had left too. Ryan needed to get some real sleep, and take care of Holly too. Marissa had busied herself, making sure Alex was comfortable. Helping Nurse Owen with a few things, brushing her hair, making sure her lips weren't too dry. She had reluctantly gone down to the cafeteria for a break and something to eat, after the nurses had threatened to throw her out if she didn't. And then she had come back, settling in for the night. It had been around midnight when she had fallen asleep in her chair in front of the hospital television. And that's how Millie found her, as she wondered into the darkened room.

**Millie**

Why am I not surprised?

The Doctor whispered to herself, moving over and switching off the television quietly. She picked up a blanket that was draped over another chair, unfolded it and placed it gently over her friend. She looked at her for a moment, before sighing softly and turning away. Picking up Alex's chart, she flicked through it, frowning as she read through it, noticing that Alex coughed a couple of times. Pulling the stethoscope from around her neck, Millie put the chart back and moved closer to Alex, still frowning slightly. She reached over gently, placing the end onto Alex's chest gently, listening intently.

**Alex**

What's going on?

Millie looked at the blonde as she looked up at her sleepily, before coughing a little bit again. Putting the scope back around her neck, Millie put her hand on Alex's forehead gently.

**Millie**

I think you've developed a little infection. You've got a little fever, a wheeze in your chest.

**Alex**

That's bad, right?

**Millie**

It could be, if it gets stronger. We have to be careful; your chest is still weak. I'll start you on some antibiotics straight away, clear it up.

**Alex**

Thanks. Is that why I feel so sick?

**Millie**

You're nauseous?

**Alex**

Kind of a lot.

**Millie**

Well, it could be the infection or it could be a side effect of the morphine. Either way, I'll get some anti sickness medication down you too.

Alex nodded gratefully, watching Millie write something on a pad before waving a nurse into the room. The woman took the paper, and nodded before walking out again. Then, Millie picked up the chart and wrote in there too. Alex watched her silently, finding it interesting to see how the other woman moved different to the times she had seen her before, obviously though, outside of work.

**Millie**

Besides that, are you feeling okay?

Alex nodded slowly, blinking a couple of times to try and make her mind focus.

**Alex**

I think so. Just unbelievably tired.

Millie smiled kindly, nodding in understanding as her eyes flickered over to her friend fast asleep in her chair.

**Millie**

You're not the only one.

**Alex Kelly residence**

As the fire alarm sounded out loudly, Alex ran into the smoke filled kitchen quickly and headed straight toward the alarm. Punching in the code, she silenced the racket that had woken her ever so rudely and indignantly. Then, as she coughed a little due to the amount of smoke, she turned as she started wafting it away from her as best she could. A useless action really, considering it had filled the kitchen.

Marissa sighed irritably, picking up the frying pan that was making all the smoke, and threw it into the sink angrily before turning on the water. The pan hissed and smoked even more, making Marissa waft her hand now. She sighed, leaning on the edge of the sink.

**Marissa**

Damnit…

She stared at her failed attempt at breakfast, glaring at the pan murderously as though it was its fault she had nearly burnt Alex's kitchen down. For a change, she had wanted to surprise her girlfriend. Things had been a little tense over the past couple of days, and she thought she would take the edge of by surprising Alex with breakfast in bed. Instead she had only given her a rude awakening.

**Alex**

Are you okay?

Alex demanded in shock, as she opened the door to let some of the smoke filter out of the room. Marissa just sighed again, wondering how it was she had gotten to this point in her life without knowing how to cook.

**Marissa**

Fine. Sorry.

She sneered through gritted teeth, finally turning off the water since the pan had been well and truly drowned. She refused to look at Alex as she came to stand next to her, but saw from the corner of her eye that the blonde was peering into the sink.

**Alex**

What was that?

She wondered lightly, but still not light enough to take the defensive annoyance out of Marissa's gut.

**Marissa**

It was supposed to be breakfast. But since I can't cook for shit, I think you better stick to making your own.

The brunette responded, focusing her anger on herself again. It wasn't really Alex's fault that she couldn't cook. She wanted to, sometimes she tried. Through the years she'd collected some cook books, but she had never mastered the talent. She had actually barely tried, to tell the truth. Something else was always more important. But since she had started dating Alex, who of course was known for her cooking, she had began to feel a little guilty. Alex would go to work and cook all day, and come home to do the same for her. She was the one that made the dinners, the picnics, the breakfasts in bed. Marissa felt like she never did anything.

**Alex**

You were making me breakfast?

Alex squeaked, looking at her inquisitively. Marissa looked at her and glared.

**Marissa**

Don't laugh at me.

**Alex**

I'm not laughing at you. Just, why were you making me breakfast?

Marissa sighed again, her shoulders sagging as she realised that Alex indeed wasn't laughing at her and wasn't actually angry that she had been so close to destroying her kitchen.

**Marissa**

Because…because I was trying to be romantic. I wanted to be the one that brought _you _breakfast in bed. You always do it for me, I feel bad.

Alex let out a soft breath, lifting up her hand to push some brunette hair behind Marissa's ear gently.

**Alex**

Baby, I don't care about that. I do it because I like doing it. I want to fuss over you sometimes. Just because you don't do it in the exact same way, it doesn't mean you don't do it at all. Doesn't mean that you're not romantic.

Marissa looked at her girlfriend hopefully, raising innocent and childlike eyebrows.

**Marissa**

You really mean that?

**Alex**

Of course I do. I'm flattered that you tried though, even though you almost burnt my house down!

Marissa pouted as she shoved Alex lightly, making her laugh. Then, she accepted the blondes hug, immediately feeling better after her pep talk. She supposed she did do nice things for Alex, romantic things. Just in different ways, like she said.

**Marissa**

You still love me?

**Alex**

I still love you.

**Marissa**

Good.

Alex pulled back, smiling reassuringly before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Marissa's lips.

**Alex**

Tell you what, how about I help you learn how to cook? Would that make you feel better?

**Marissa**

Really? You'd do that?

**Alex**

Well I gotta protect my house from you somehow right?

Marissa laughed as she pushed Alex lightly again, pretending to pout like she had been offended. Then, she drew in a slow breath as she looked at the woman in front of her. She smiled lopsidedly; lifting her hand up to try and help smooth out some of Alex's mussed up hair. She always looked so cute when her hair was so messy from sleep. Her eyes were still a little sleepy, but glowing brightly, ever powerful and intense. There was that sadness rooted in there still, that was getting more and more obvious. It worried Marissa, because it made her feel like something bad was on its way. Alex looked at her with love, with desire and need and overwhelming loyalty. But she looked at her too, with a detachment. Like the sadness was there because she loved her, but for some reason knew she couldn't have her. Of course, Marissa would have to wait for the worst to happen to find out why.

**Marissa**

I'm not doing this again. I can't.

**Alex**

It's probably for the best.

Marissa nodded lightly, tracing Alex's face and taking in how real it seemed. The Alex before her was exactly the woman she was in love with, had spent the most glorious months with and explored every inch of. She was the woman she had become so entangled with, that she wasn't sure where she stopped and the blonde began. But she wasn't at all.

**Marissa**

You're so beautiful.

Alex shook her head ever so slightly.

**Alex**

She's beautiful. You love her, not me.

**Marissa**

You're the same.

**Alex**

No, I'm not. I'm not real. You imagine me when you need me. She's real. And she's awake, so you have to let me go now.

**Marissa**

I know.

Alex nodded, smiling as she lifted her hand to cup Marissa's cheek before leaning in to kiss her again. It was soft, and touching. As she pulled back, that sadness was gone from her eyes. It made Marissa feel a little better, and as she stepped back, out of Alex's grasp, she smiled curiously.

**Marissa**

Hey, why is it I've been having the dreams when you've been in the coma? I thought it happened the other way round?

Alex just chuckled, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. What a ridiculous question that was. People could dream whatever they wanted, coma or no coma. It never particularly occurred to Marissa that the real Alex might have gone through something similar. There might have been a dream Marissa in her head too. But rather than pointing this out, she just looked at the brunette mysteriously, shrugging as she began to step backward.

**Alex**

You'll hafta ask her, won't you?

**Hospital**

**Morning**

**Nurse Owen**

My my, she's gracing us with her presence again.

Alex blinked groggily, frowning slightly as she tried to figure out where she was. The feeling of heaviness was overwhelming, like she couldn't move if she wanted to. Her vision was blurry, making her start to panic since she couldn't make out where she was. All she knew right now, was that she wasn't anywhere familiar.

**Nurse Owen**

Alex. Alex calm down, you're okay. You're safe.

As Alex felt warm hand being placed gently on her shoulders, getting her to stop squirming, she began to feel a little safer. Now that the voice had spoken again, she started to feel like she knew it from somewhere. Then, as her senses started to come back to her one by one, including her vision, the blonde realised where she was.

**Alex**

'Kay…I'm okay.

Alex looked up at the nurse, nodding a little to indicate she wasn't going to struggle anymore. The nurse let go, and Alex looked at her for a moment. Then, she looked at the machines next to her, down at her own bruised and battered body. A rush of sickness flooded her stomach as she remembered hazily the fall she had taken down the stairs. Remembered ever so slightly waking up in the hospital before, but not being able to see it properly in her mind. She remembered Ryan, she remembered the nurse vaguely.

**Nurse Owen**

How do you feel this morning?

Alex looked at the nurse again, scrunching up her nose as she tried to blow the cobwebs out of her mind.

**Alex**

I erm…a little soar. A little heavy, like something is pressing on me. Also kinda itchy!

She answered croakily, watching as the nurse nodded. She seemed amused that her sarcastic witty side hadn't faded through her pain.

**Nurse Owen**

Do you remember seeing Doctor Bryant last night? She put you on some antibiotics and sickness medication. You got a little fever honey.

Alex frowned, for one second having no idea what the nurse was talking about. Then, all of a sudden, it hit her. Doctor Bryant was Millie, and she remembered Millie. Her memory felt like a dream, but apparently it had actually been real. She felt a little better than she had last night. The rush of sickness that had hit her had faded away, apparently only occurring when she had remembered her fall. Whatever Millie had given her, it was obviously doing the trick. Then, she remembered something else. A little too quickly, her head moved to gaze at the empty chair by her bed.

**Alex**

Marissa…

Alex stopped short as she realized that the brunette wasn't there. Seeing the chair empty, her heart sank a little bit. She had been torn last night, when Millie had pointed out that Marissa was asleep by her side. Torn over whether to allow herself to be pleased or not. She desperately wanted to feel all the warm, wonderful feelings at knowing that Marissa was there sitting beside her, unwilling to leave. She wanted to think about how loving that was, and how special she felt because of it. She wanted to let the hope in, the hope that their troubles could be over and everything would be fine.

That wasn't reality though. Was it too little too late? Had they hurt one another too much to let that happen? Alex had started to remember, every so slightly, voices in her mind. Voices that she had thought had been dreams, but had started to figure out were memories. She had heard some things when she had been in her coma. She had heard Marissa. And that sense of security had come back to her, knowing that the brunette had been there all of the time. She had dreamt about her too. Some odd dreams, some fantastical and some sweet. But when she had woken up, it had felt like they had been taunting her. She didn't know what to do about that. It made her sadder in a way, that the brunette had been here for her like that. Because it made it harder, made it hurt more, knowing that she wasn't ever going to be good enough.

**Nurse Owen**

Don't worry honey; she's just gone to get some coffee. She'll be back soon.

**Alex**

Maybe that's not such a good idea.

**Nurse Owen**

What do you mean?

**Alex**

I hurt her.

**Nurse Owen**

Well, you can't have hurt her that badly. She's been here all this time.

The older woman responded, aware Alex was watching her administer some medication through her IV drip.

**Alex**

I didn't trust her, I played with her head. I made her feel guilty for it all, because she hurt me too. But she made a mistake, I was cruel and stupid.

Nurse Owen, after setting the little tray she had brought in aside, looked at Alex kindly. Like she was there for one purpose only, and that was to listen to her. Not like she had other patients to see and had to hurry out of the room. She made it clear that she was here for Alex, and she would listen without judgement.

**Nurse Owen**

You couldn't tell her about what happened to you, could you?

Alex frowned, feeling like she had just had a rug pulled out from under her. Starring at the other woman, frowning in shock, she knew exactly what she meant. She could see it in her eyes. That rush of sickness hit her stomach again, her body clammed up on her and for a second she couldn't even think. How the hell did she now?

**Nurse Owen**

It's on your hospital records baby.

Came the soft explanation, causing Alex to turn away a little as she felt hot tears sting her eyes. Instead she chose to gaze out of the window, focusing on the trees in the distance, swaying gently in the breeze. The room was beginning to feel claustrophobic; there was no air in here. She felt like she was trapped, pinned down into this bed when she didn't want to be. She was too weak here, vulnerable and exposed. She couldn't breathe.

**Nurse Owen**

Okay Alex, come on now. Take deep, slow breaths for me.

As Alex began to wheeze, her chest getting tighter and tighter, Nurse Owen grabbed the oxygen mask and set it flowing, placing it gently over Alex's mouth and nose to give her a little boost as she began to panic. It made the blonde look her way again, and she looked at her kindly, letting her focus on her as she began to steady her breathing again. After a couple of minutes, the young woman before her was breathing normally again, like it had never happened. She pulled the mask away, stopping the rush of air as she did.

**Nurse Owen**

Better?

**Alex**

Yeah.

Alex watched her nurse as she picked up the chart from the bottom of her bed and started to write on it, obviously needing to note the use of oxygen. Her powerful grey/blue eyes searched older ones for any indication of judgement, and found none. Pity and disgust were lacking from them too, leaving Alex with a slightly encouraged feeling. But it only lasted for a minute.

**Alex**

I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone.

She whispered after a moment. Figuring that the nurse already knew, Alex didn't think it would hurt to almost talk about it. She couldn't quite get there. She just looked at the end of the bed numbly, trying to close herself off from the feelings like she usually did. She had never truly mastered how to shut them off completely though. She could ignore them for a little while, before they cropped up again. But she could never make them go away completely.

**Nurse Owen**

She loves you.

**Alex**

I know she does. I love her too. But sometimes it isn't enough. I'm not good enough for her, I never have been. She's better off without me.

**Marissa**

No, I'm really not.

Having not noticed her standing in the doorway, coffee in hand, both Alex and Nurse Owen looked at Marissa in startled surprise. She had only been there a second, only long enough to hear the nurses statement before Alex's reply. She wasn't sure what they had been talking about, but judging from the atmosphere it was something important. And something to do with their relationship. But she let all that go for just a moment, lost in being able to look into Alex's eyes again. Full of pain, of love, of relief and fear and a million other things Marissa just wanted to take from her and burden herself with them. She only just registered the light pat on the arm that Nurse Owen gave her in support as she slipped out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.

**Marissa**

Hey.

**Alex**

Hey.

They kept staring at one another, finding their greeting a little absurd for the situation, but going along with it nevertheless. It was hard to know what to say exactly. They both looked pale and tired and haunted. Alex obviously looking the worst for wear. But it could easily be seen how exhausted they both were, how horribly anxious and worried they were. But still, even through that, they both saw easily the beauty that had attracted them together in the first place. They could still feel that connection; feel its warm arms sinking into them, pulling them together.

Marissa made the first move, blinking to snap herself out of her daze as she moved over to the coffee table and placed the cardboard cup on it before placing her bag next to it. Then, instead of turning around to face Alex again, she put her hand across her forehead, moving slightly toward the window. When she got there, her hand slipped over her eyes as she used her other to lean on the glass as she felt the flood of tears hit her. She didn't want Alex to see her cry, not if she could help it. It was just another tension relieving mechanism, at being so relieved at actually seeing the blonde awake for herself. A reaction to having that weight pulled off her shoulders so quickly. But also, at the joy of not loosing another woman that she loved.

**Alex**

Riss?

Right now Alex was feeling rather bitter that she couldn't get out of her bed. Even when she was feeling like there was no hope for her relationship with Marissa, she resented feeling powerless to help her. She still wanted to go over there and wrap her up in her arms, telling her that everything was going to be fine. She still wanted to take her pain away.

**Marissa**

I'm sorry. I'm okay. I just…I just couldn't handle loosing you too. I was so, _so _scared Alex.

Alex stared at Marissa' back for a moment, her forehead scrunched up in confusion. And then, like a freight train, it hit her. Theresa. She had been through this with Theresa and lost her. Immediately, Alex felt so unbelievably guilty. She had never meant for any of this to happen. Things had become so messed up and it was all her fault. She should never have listened to herself back when she met Marissa. She should never have let herself become to deeply involved, to fall in love. She'd used reckless abandon and this is what it had lead to. Failing that, she wished that she could have been honest at the start. Gotten over her stubborn fear and just trusted in Marissa to handle it. Either way, it would have been better than right now.

**Alex**

Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I never meant to put you through that again.

Alex blinked back her own tears, trying to stop herself from shaking as she looked away from the brunette, lying her head back on the pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

**Marissa**

It's okay, it wasn't you fault.

As Marissa turned around, sniffling and wiping her eyes, Alex scoffed bitterly, still staring up at the ceiling.

**Alex**

Yeah, it really was.

And it had been. She'd caused all of this to happen. She'd put her family and her friends through the ringer, wondering whether she was going to pull through or not. And all because she had gone and gotten herself absolutely loaded. Something she hadn't done for a very long time. Something she'd worked really hard to overcome. Yet she'd let herself slip, even before she had broken up with Marissa.

**Marissa**

Tell me why you think I'm better off without you.

Marissa requested softly, but firmly, crossing her arms over her chest as she peered at Alex intently. She could see the rush of emotions moving through the blonde, even from here. Her own heart was pounding, so badly she thought that it would burst out of her chest. Her palms were clammy and her breathing was ragged. All her limbs felt weak, and her head felt light. Because she was scared to death. Right now was the moment that they had to deal with everything. It was a make or break moment, where their fate would be decided. No more dreams, no more hiding, no more secrets.

**Alex**

I can't.

Alex refused with a crack in her voice, still refusing to look at anything but the ceiling.

**Marissa**

Alex.

**Alex**

Riss I can't!

This time Alex did look at her. With a desperately pained look crossing her watery eyes. Full of firm conviction that she indeed couldn't say it, but also with the longing she felt at wanting to. It pained Marissa to see her so torn. She could have told her that she knew already, that Ryan had already told her. But she wanted Alex to say it for herself.

**Marissa**

You were ready to tell me before, so tell me now.

Marissa insisted a little firmer, reluctant to drop the issue even though she knew it was painful for the woman in front of her. She knew she'd have to push her a little bit. It was a gamble, sure. Maybe Alex would just flat out refuse to talk to her. Maybe she wouldn't change her mind about them being together even if she did talk. Who knew? But in the least, she had to try. She wanted to share Alex's pain, so that she wouldn't have to carry it alone anymore.

**Marissa**

Please Alex. You can trust…

**Alex**

I was raped.

Marissa blinked open mouthed having been interrupted mid sentence, holding her breath slightly as though she dare not disturb the tense silence that fell over the room instantly. It had been quiet, possibly the tiniest whisper anyone had ever made, childlike and vulnerable, but she had still heard it. Part of her felt relieved that Alex had finally said it. The other half was still anxious, regretful that she had to get Alex to relive obviously what was the most painful time in her life. But the whole of her felt proud, the whole of her just throbbed with love.

**Alex**

I was raped. When I was 18.

She repeated, a little louder this time, after clearing her throat, eyes focused on the hospital issue bed sheet she was covered with. She didn't know whether it was the fever, the drugs or the truth that made her feel disorientated and dizzy. She didn't hazard a guess either. Small flashes of memories slipped into her mind, making her wince slightly, every single feeling flowing through her. She didn't want to remember, she didn't want to be forced to endure it. That's the reason she had ended up using drugs to take the pain away after it had happened. It was part of the reason she never told anyone, it was the dark secret inside of her that she desperately guarded. She didn't want to be looked at differently. Didn't want to be pitied, or judged or mocked. She just wanted to be Alex. She wanted to be the person she had been trying to be for so long, but had never quite gotten their because she was carrying this with her for so long.

Alex had to admit to herself, as she released a slow and unsteady breath, that a little bit of her did feel somewhat better for saying it. It felt good to trust in someone, especially Marissa. Of course, she trusted Ryan. He had been there for her, never looked at her any differently. But he was her brother. It was different with him. This was different. It was even different from Summer knowing. She was in love with Marissa; the last thing she wanted was for her to do any of those things she was scared of people doing. She didn't want her to think any less of her, like being weak or unclean.

**Alex**

It's bad enough that I was physically raped. What they don't tell you about is the emotional rape. The one that makes you feel completely degraded. Totally unclean and unworthy of anything. They make you feel like you had it coming, you were asking for it. Like you can't say anything to anybody, because they'll hate you for it. They make you believe that it's your fault. And that's why I'm so afraid to tell anyone. Even you. I've been convinced you'd look at me differently, stop loving me. Think the same things they make you believe. That's how I got so fucked up. That's why I fucked things up between us. I thought you'd leave me.

Using her one good hand, Alex lifted it up and wiped away the tears that had started to roll out of her haunted eyes and roll down her cheeks. She was shaking a little bit, but it seemed odd how calm she was speaking. She thought that she would be irrational, that she wouldn't be able to describe to Marissa what it was like for her. She could deal with the physical rape, actually. She remembered the pain, she hated feeling violated, but the bruises and the tears and the cuts, they had all faded away. What wasn't easy to deal with, was what she had just described. The violation didn't stop at the physical; it infected your mind too. Making it so much harder to speak out. She knew now, why so many didn't report their attacks. It was the emotional onslaught that kept you silent, made you so ashamed of something that wasn't actually your fault.

Marissa sniffed, wiping her own tears with her own shaking hand. She stepped forward; striding the few paces there was to Alex's bedside. Gently, she brushed the blonde's tears away with her thumbs, her palms cupping her flushed skin. Alex looked at her then, and Marissa knew she was searching for the fears she had just talked about in her own eyes. But she knew there wasn't any. She just remained silent for a moment, letting Alex discover that for herself. Letting her see the overwhelming amount of emotion she felt for her, the love and pride, the desire and respect. It had grown over the last couple of moments, and she let it all wash into her bottomless blue eyes. Then, after a moment, she removed one of her hands and picked up Alex's, placing it on her own chest, over her heart and shook her head, making Alex sniffle tentatively. As her hand moved from her face to brush through some limp but still beautiful blonde hair, Marissa remained quiet, getting the distinct feeling that Alex wasn't quite finished.

**Alex**

I didn't deal very well, evidently. I guess you know what happened then. I partied as hard as I could, slept with as many girls as I could. They were easy, they were things I enjoyed to do, and the girls were there. I was still doing it when I met you, and then suddenly I knew I didn't need to. You were enough. But the drugs? They were something else. And that's why it is my fault; I should never have let myself go back to that place. I almost _died_ for crying out loud. I hadn't done anything like that for so, so long Marissa. I'm sorry. I let Jodie get me started on them, and then Ryan eventually helped me get off.

**Marissa**

And it'll be me that will help you stay off.

Marissa finally broke her silence, looking down at Alex lovingly and with a gentle conviction of promise as she stroked her face again.

**Alex**

You…you will?

The blonde's voice cracked with emotion, a surprised hopefulness and wanting that did not go unnoticed by the brunette.

**Marissa**

I told you nothing could stop me from loving you, I meant it. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be scared anymore, okay? What happened to you wasn't your fault; I don't blame you for it. I don't think you're a victim; I don't look at you any differently. I love you. I love all of you. You can stop hiding from me.

Alex opened her mouth to respond, but found that she actually couldn't think of anything to say right in this moment. And even if she could, she was too chocked up to push the words out. For once, she felt like there was actually nothing wrong with her. For once, she didn't feel the burning hot ball of heaviness at the pit of her stomach. For once, she saw a real chance of happiness for herself. Things she had almost given up hope of ever experiencing. They were given back to her, through things she thought she would never earn off of anyone. Acceptance, love, respect, compassion. Everything that Marissa was expressing to her now. Things she had been terrified that the brunette wouldn't give her. And not only that, for the first time, she actually started to believe the notion that the rape had never been her fault. She didn't have to carry that, because it wasn't true. The same thing that Ryan had been telling her for so long, but she had never quite been able to accept.

Still not being able to find any words, Alex gripped the sweater that Marissa was wearing since her hand was still there, and pulled her down gently. She couldn't stop the cascade of relieved tears rolling out of her eyes, nor did she actually want to. All she knew was that she felt free, and she wanted to feel Marissa against her again. As she felt the brunette's breath against her shoulder, and her cheek against her cheek, she let out a relieved sigh and looped her arm around her back to hold onto her tightly. Marissa's hand was still on her cheek, brushing her skin lightly with her thumb. Neither of them noticed, caught up in only this moment, the audience standing at the doorway. They hadn't actually heard much. They had only been here a second or so, only long enough to hear Marissa state her love.

Summer put her hand over her mouth, tearing up a little as she thanked the stars that the couple before her had made up. She smiled, looking up at Emma briefly as the redhead put her arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. Ryan and Seth did a quiet, high five, holding onto one another's hands for just long enough for a squeeze before letting go. Ryan sighed, thankful that his sister had found some peace finally. Something he had been hoping for, for so long. He didn't like the way it had come about. A week in the coma and all the trauma she'd been through he could have skipped. But at least now, she had some chance of resolving her feelings. Of finally realising that she could be happy. He sighed a little, before turning around with the other three as they collectively decided to give the blonde and brunette their space.

**Alex**

I love you. I love you so, _so _much. And I'm sorry for what I put you through.

Marissa pulled back enough to look at Alex properly, nodding slightly as she sniffled and ran her thumb over the blonde's lips.

**Marissa**

I'm sorry too. I will never _ever _do anything so stupid again.

In her mind, Marissa partly blamed herself for Alex's accident too. If she had never slept with Katie, Alex would never have ran from her house that day. She would have stayed, and confessed everything and things would have been fine. But instead, she had been so hurt that she did something that she had worked so hard to overcome. And that's what had caused the accident. But, things had worked out the way things had worked out. At least Alex was here, she was going to be fine and they had finally worked things out. She would have preferred it the other way around, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

As they kept looking at one another, both refusing to break the stare, they felt that connection they shared grow that much stronger. There were no more doubts, no more fears or worry. They knew right then that they were stronger together, and they were supposed to be together. They had taken the right fork in the path and been lead here; nothing was going to change that.

Leaning down slowly, Marissa waited until the very last moment to close her eyes as she placed a soft, chaste kiss on Alex's lips. She could taste the salt from both of their tears, but basked in the softness of those lips, warm and welcoming. She welcomed back that familiar, electrical jolt that ran through her that had always run through her when Alex kissed her. Nothing had changed but the high intensity of it. There weren't any words spoken after that, for quite some time. Instead, the couple chose to explore each others mouths gently, exploring and rediscovering. Then, Marissa had climbed up onto the bed, letting Alex snuggle into her comfortably. The last thing either of them heard before they slipped off into slumber, was their respective declarations of love. For the moment, everything was right in the world.

**3 months later**

Alex rolled off of Marissa, huffing as she collapsed onto her back, doing her best to gasp in desperately needed air. The bed sheet was crumpled beneath them; the cover sheet had been discarded some time ago. Clothes were scattered haphazardly throughout the hotel room they currently occupied. Grey blue eyes stared upward, dark and intense, hazy from dizzying orgasms. She enjoyed the coolness her body felt as the air breezed onto her hot, sweat covered body.

Similarly, Marissa was sprawled next to Alex, her eyes still closed as she panted heavily. Managing to lift her hand, she tucked it into her hair, almost like she wanted to hold her head as though it might explode. But it hadn't really that had been her head that had been doing an awful lot of exploding.

**Marissa**

Glad to see you have your stamina back!

The brunette managed, a sly smirk crossing her lips slowly. It grew slightly, as she heard Alex grunt next to her in agreement, before feeling a warm hand patting her bare stomach.

**Alex**

Oh baby, you really haven't seen anything yet!

Marissa couldn't help but chuckle at the comment, finally opening her eyes and turning her head to look at Alex.

**Marissa**

Bring it on.

She challenged softly, but with a tone of seductiveness that didn't go unmissed by the blonde. She simply watched, eyes sparkling, as Alex turned her head to look at her too. She never got over how beautiful she looked. Especially right in these very moments of ecstasy. Marissa liked knowing she had made Alex look like that, just like she knew Alex felt the same way about her.

It had been a hard three months for Alex. Taking it slow wasn't exactly in her nature. She had been forced to remain in the hospital for a couple of weeks until the Doctors were satisfied her infection was clear, and she posed no risk to herself by being let loose. But, under strict rules. She had been given a wheelchair, given that she couldn't walk with her leg and couldn't use crutches with her arm. And she wasn't supposed to do much strenuous anything, to give her chest time to heal. It had hurt, a lot. So much so that sometimes she woke up crying in pain. Her physiotherapy had hurt a lot too, and she had snapped and shouted at everyone throughout it. Finally though, the casts had come off, and she had been doing things on her own. Building up, weaning off the painkillers. Until finally, she had been allowed to start running and surfing again. In little, gentle goes of course. But now after three months and a lot of hard work, she was back to her normal self.

**Alex**

I'm glad we came here. Although it would be nice to actually _see _England!

Before Alex could go back to work full time, Marissa had insisted that they take a holiday first. Just take some time to get away from everything, take some time for themselves. So here they were in England, but they had barely made it out of their hotel room since they had arrived almost two days ago.

**Marissa**

Well get to see England tomorrow, I promise.

Alex just grinned, her eyes twinkling as she leaned forward and landed a sloppy kiss on her girlfriend's lips. She let her fingers glide over her toned stomach gently, enjoying the softness of the moment.

**Marissa**

Any regrets, about deciding to move in together?

**Alex**

Not one. I'm a little worried about you burnin' the joint down though!

The blonde teased, recalling the one and only time Marissa had attempted to make her breakfast in bed. She had never made good on her promise, about teaching her how to cook. Things had gotten to bad so quickly and snowballed that she had never had chance. She guessed she would now though, when she moved into Marissa's house when they got back home. She didn't have any regret, or real worries about living with Marissa. It felt right, it felt comfortable. Deep down, she knew everything wasn't going to be perfect. They were Marissa and Alex, their lives she knew, would always be 'interesting'. But also, deep down, she knew that they were going to be just fine.

**Marissa**

Shut up! Hey, that reminds me. I had these weird dreams when you were in the hospital…

**The End**

_First of all, I would like to thank everyone for reading this and everyone that commented, suggested, encouraged and supported me. Your input was invaluable and I appreciate it more than you know. And I've had many a request not to end the story here. So, we have to compromise. This is the end, but I'm going to revisit our favourite girls from time to time to see what mischief they're getting up to. I have a few ideas written down, and I'm open to suggestions also. But the last thing I want to do is keep writing until you and I are both bored. But I promise faithfully I will keep updating it, because life for Malex doesn't just stop here! Again, thank you so much. Shalimar :-)_


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